This ceremony is held after
Janti is the groom’s wedding procession which goes form his house to the bride’s to bring the bride to the his house. This ceremony is a very joyous event for the Groom’s family while it is a bit sad for the Bride’s family as she will be leaving her house to start a new life with her husband.
AS and Me in our outfit
As this ceremony was in the morning, I got up early and got ready for the day. I wore a red Dupatta Sari with a green border and a matching shawl around my arms and a red veil covering my head. I wore my jewellery including the Tilhari and and Chura (bangles). Once everyone was ready, we went to the wedding venue.
Puja at AS house
In the mean time, in AS home, they will get ready and his family performed a Puja to start the rituals. Then he asked for the blessing of his parents and leave house in a decorated car with all his relatives following him and a band playing some wedding numbers. Two decorated Gagree (pitchers) were placed on either side of the main door of the house in which AS put some coins, asking the blessing of the gods before he stepped out of the house. The band played music all the way from AS’s house until the Janti reached the wedding venue.
AS taking blessing from his Mum, AS leaving his home
Once the Janti arrived at the venue, AS and his family were welcomed by my dad and my family. He was offered a seat on a sofa waiting for me to arrive near the mandap where the wedding ritual take place. His relatives were seated in the chairs near by. They were served with cocktails and drinks with finger food followed by Bhoj (lunch).
L-R Wedding band, Wedding Car, My family welcoming AS
Before AS could sit in front of the mandap, he had to take off his shoes. At this point some of my female cousins, will try and get his shoes so that they can negotiate for money later when AS would leave for his house, at the same time AS’s brothers try to make sure that, the girls don’t get his shoes. It is just a fun way for both the family members to mix and have a little fun. I have lots of cousins, so as soon as AS was about to take off his shoe, they jumped in, trying to get his shoes. His brothers tried to make sure, my cousins didn’t get the shoes and there was a Tug of War. The poor shoe was damaged in the process but finally my cousins were able to get one of the shoes while the other was still with AS’s family. It was quite fun to watch.
The war for AS ‘s shoes
Once the “war over the shoes” was over, AS sat down next to me. He was wearing a black suit with a traditional Nepali topi. Then the Puja started with the same two priests as before. There was also one elder from each family (The eldest male of the family) sited next to the priests in front of the Mandap and the Puja went on for an hour. This process is called Kanyadan. Then it was followed by AS and me sharing food from one plate called “Thaa bu” which had eggs, yogurt, wine, fruits, Roti, meat, fish and much more. After that, the eldest from AS’s family, put Tuuti Bagi (Special marriage anklet) on both my feet indicating I am married into their family.This is a tradition in Newari / Nepali wedding.
Ceremony in progress
Now the came hardest part. It was time to give Supari to each member of my close family and say my good byes. In turn they would give me some gift or money and take Supari from me. I promised myself I would not cry when I leave to go to AS’s house since I don’t want to start a chain reaction with everyone crying after I did. I had seen how much my aunt had cried at her wedding and how everyone in her family started crying too. So I was keeping strong. This process went for a while as I had to give Supari to almost 40 people with my parents coming at the end, just before I left my parents’ house for ever.
L_R AS uncle putting “Tuuti Bagi” in my feet, Me giving Supari to my family
When I was half way through giving Supari I heard my mum sobbing. I was teary-eyed but I hadn’t started crying yet. Hearing her sob, I couldn’t stop but sob. Ohoo it started the chain reaction as I had predicated and most of my cousins and aunts started sobbing. While I was giving Supari to my parents, both of them were crying. It was such an emotional moment. It was as if you were saying “I am leaving you guys”. And the band didn’t help any by playing the emotional song “Maitighar timro hoina…” which translate to, “The home of your birth is not yours anymore, you go to your husband’s house. Do still come and visit your parents sometime…” Or something along these lines. Anyway, it took a few of my relatives to help my mum away from me. I couldn’t stop crying after that.
Car leaving the Venue
It was now time for me to leave my parents’ home and and go to my husband’s. My brother carried me to the waiting car. He needed to go around the car 3 times before he could put me inside it. In the mean time, there was a big negotiation going on for the shoe (which my cousins had taken) between AS and my cousins. I think he gave them RS 5000 and finally they gave him his shoe back.
Now AS joined me in the car but I was still sobbing. I hugged my dad, mum and brother before they closed the door of the car. Red and gold cloth was put on the top of the car and everyone showered the car with rice, flowers and Sindoor. Inside, AS was consoling me as the band started up with the music and AS’s family said their good byes.
I was off to start my new life with my new family!
This ceremony is followed by