I am sorry to bring the topic of babies again to my blog but my life revolves around babies these days. Only last week one of the friends who had a baby girl in December has a Pasni (Rice feeding ceremony), Nepali version on Christening. It was a fun event and I was happy for the excuse to wear sari and also to share in their happiness.
I am attending another Pasni tonight for another friend’s baby boy. I have more baby showers, Pasnis and babies’ birthdays this year than I can ever remember.
I am always happy to be a part of my friends’ happiness which includes their little ones. It is so nice to see the babies growing up so cute and adorable. It is nice to listen to their experience and share their joy. There are at least five of my friends pregnant right now.
But what I do not like when I go to these functions is everyone asking me when I am going to have a baby. I think that is a valid question but I still don’t want to be constantly bothered when I have already told then that it’ll still be a few years before I have a baby.
One of my friends who is pregnant said, “There is a right time for babies so if you don’t have in now, you may regret it later”. I was really annoyed when she said that because it is my and my husband’s choice to decide on when to have a baby and we decided to wait a few years. Come on, I haven’t even had my first marriage anniversary yet. Why don’t everyone leave me alone and let me enjoy my time with my husband. Just because she is pregnant now and heading towards motherhood, doesn’t mean I need to follow in her footsteps. And just because she thought that it is the right time for her, my choice of not having a baby right now doesn’t make me wrong.
The other day, in a similar conversation, another friend of ours told us that she got pregnant because she thinks that it is the right time and implied that we need to think about it as well.
My friends may think that they are doing us a favour by suggesting to us to have a baby but I don’t want to be pressured into having a baby just because they are pregnant now. Me and my husband have a plan and we want to move according to this plan. We don’t want to follow other people’s plan and definitely don’t want to be pressured to have baby.
When I got married last year, I thought the pressure of having a baby will come from my parents and his parents. But amazingly other than his grandfather, no one else has nagged me about not being pregnant yet. We had told both our families that we have a plan and they are happy for us to follow the plan and have babies when we decide to. But we are getting more pressure from our friends and only from those friends who are already pregnant or have a baby.
I’d love to be a mum one day. I believe that motherhood is a wonderful experience but at the same time I want to be well prepared before we have a baby.
Right now I just want to be with my husband and enjoy my life. And I will have a baby when I am ready. Please don’t tell me that our decision not to have a baby right now is wrong.
If you have a baby please do keep this in mind when you suggest someone else to have a baby. If you’re married and don’t have a baby yet I’m sure you know how I’m feeling 🙂