Category Archives: Marriage

Happy 4th  Anniversary

Today is our wedding anniversary. Like every anniversary, I am writing a letter to my dear hubby.

Wedding Ceremony

My dearest AS,

Happy 4th Anniversary my darling.

I want to let you know that every passing year, my love has only deepened because it always gives me more opportunities to appreciate how amazing you are. I believe now that a love that has endured this earthly test can never end and I swore to love you for time and all eternity.

The way you love me, the way you have come into my life, I wish the journey shall never be end till I die. Thanks for making the day special in my life. Happy Anniversary A, you are my soul mate and I was incomplete without you.

Thank you for always being there and helping me to be all that I can be. Also thank you for the biggest gift of my life, our daughter Chhori.

sindoor at wedding

All my love, Now and always!

Yours M

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

P.S: We are going to dinner with family tonight so update you more later. Till then take care.

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Our Story : Bride side Reception ceremony- Part 42

This is a continuation of my previous posts. Please read the previous posts here.

My family had not had a chance to throw a big party for a while so this reception was more of a reason for my family to invite everyone to celebrate. In Nepal, you need to invite all your relatives, your neighbours and friends if anyone gets married. So to have close to 1000 guest is very normal. When we started the guest list, we thought it won’t be a lot but then we added up all the relatives and extended relatives, my parents’ friends, my friends, my brother’s friends and my uncles and aunts friends, the big number was inevitable. And this number didn’t include Groom and his family. They don’t attend this reception as, it is only for the Bride’s family. This is a tradition in Newari / Nepali wedding.

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Surprisingly, the party venue was well equipped for more than 2000+ guests so it was not a problem at all.

In Nepali/Newari culture, you give all your close female relatives and friends Sari as wedding gift and they wear that at the reception. My mum usually gets at least a few from her relatives and friends each year. So this time it was our turn. Mum had already picked the red Sari and has ordered 60 of them. She picked the same Sari for everyone and had already given it to them.

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For the reception, I was more relaxed than before. It was just a party with hundreds of people but all of them are my friends and relatives.

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Like every bride, I wanted to look my best for the wedding and I am glad I was happy with the choices of clothes and accessories. My parents had gone well above and beyond my expectation and bought me so many sets of jewellery that I was lucky enough to be able to pick different ones for different functions.

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I wore a marron lengha with bead and pearl work on it. It was expensive but I convinced myself that I get married once so it was all worth the money. I went to the beauty parlour again to do my hair and make-up. I wore golden shoes with flower and golden clutch (both gifts from my new MIL).

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I was happy with the final outcome as the hairdresser followed my instruction so well and did the hair exactly the way I wanted it.

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Once I was done at the beauty salon, I went home where the photographer was waiting for me. We had planned to take a few shots at home before going to the venue. I had photos at home with my parents, brother, sister in law and a few friends.

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Then we all headed toward the party venue.

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Guests were invited from 6pm. All our close relatives were there already when we arrived, woman and girls wearing red Saris given by mum. The stage was close to the main entrance and that is where I was going to stay for the rest of the night. I had my cousin and friends for company as guests started arriving.

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Within an hour, the empty venue was filled with guests, some of whom I knew , some I have not seen for years and some I had never met. Some handed me flowers and others envelope with money. I greeted them, talked with them and made small conversation before they moved on to the hall to start the dinner and snacks.Wedding Ceremony

The party was in full swing and I could see everyone enjoying the evening. At one end of the hall, there was the cocktail area and on the other side, there was dinner area. There was loud music going on with DJ playing all types of music and many of the guests were on the dance floor.

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Guests as little as 1 year old and as old as 70 years old were rocking the dance floor. I couldn’t leave to join them on the dance floor yet as there were more guests coming. I was still busy greeting the guest and talking to them for next few hours.

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Looking around I was happy everyone seemed to be enjoying and eating. I had my friends from kindergarten to high school there. Most of them were there with their partners and kids. It was so nice to see all of them at my wedding after so many years. All of them made me feel like I never left Nepal and were so welcoming and nice.

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After few more hours when guests stopped arriving, I was free to leave the stage and join my friends and family on the floor. I went to the dance floor and danced my heart away. It was so much fun and was on the dance floor for almost an hour. Everyone was dancing around me and I felt really happy.

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After 10 pm, guests started leaving slowly and it was time for the family to have dinner as well. When things were winding down, I felt really good and both my parents were so happy that things went without a hitch. I was so happy and relieved at the same time that I had no appetite at all. Still someone got me a plate of food and I have no recollection what I ate.

I was tired from getting up and sitting down constantly.

On top of that I had to have a big smile on my face all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I was very happy but constantly smiling was hurting my face.

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To be quite honest, my wedding reception was by far the most fun party I had during the whole process. Everything I planned went well and it was pretty awesome.  Everything turned out exactly how I wanted it.  Everyone I cared about was there and I was so honoured to have so many friends and family there. My parents were extremely proud of the reception as everyone was raving about how much they enjoyed and they loved the food.

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After it was all over, we went home and I couldn’t wait to go to bed. Every muscle in my body was tired. On top of that, next day was Janti so I would have to wake up early.

More on the wedding in the next post.

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

P.S: Do not forget to vote your favorite blog . NEPALIAUSTRALIAN’s Blog Award 2014

Part 43

Our Story : Supari ceremony – Part 40

This is a continuation of my previous posts. Please read the previous posts here.

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The Supari is the Newari equivalent of the engagement ceremony in western weddings; a formal announcement/acceptance of the relationship. The bride’s family isn’t able to proceed with any of the wedding parties until the Supari is received from the groom’s side.

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Supari is the Nepali word for betelnut and the deal is sealed by an event called ‘Gway Bigu’ or the sending of 12 pieces of supari (betle nut) from the groom’s family to the bride’s which is used during the “Swayambar” ceremony. The family of the groom-to-be also presents a set of clothes along with jewellery, lots of rotis, fruits for the bride as a sort of first gift to the soon to be daughter-in-law. In most cases, this supari-taking ceremony occurs four days before the actual wedding ceremony, but it can be earlier or later to suit the families.

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When I woke up that morning, I had butterflies in my stomach. I was relaxed before but suddenly I was a bit scared as it was getting very real with the upcoming Supari ceremony. It is funny how you can easily get overwhelmed by the situation looking at what is happening around you. My house was full of people, relatives and friends. It was noisy and everyone was busy doing something or other. They all seemed to be busy but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I asked my mum what things are to be done before I go to beauty parlour to get ready. She asked to have breakfast and go so I can come back as soon as possible. I had made an appointment in nearby salon and the lady had told me, it would take up to 3 hours to do my hair and makeup.

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When I came out of the parlour, I felt like a real bride. I was wearing a red sari with green border which had golden work done with beads. I had bought this sari while I was in India and loved the simple style and the border. I had my hair made up in a bridal way complementing my bridal makeup. I wore lots of Chura (glass bangles) to match the sari.

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I also wore a gold necklace set and golden chura my parents had made as part of my wedding jeweleries.

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My friend came to pick me up when I was done. From there it was straight to the venue where Supari ceremony was happening. As we were early and the photographer was already there, we had the opportunity for some photos. I am not sure what I was feeling because it was the first ceremony with so many people and things started to get more real.

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Then most of the relatives and friends started to come. The groom’s family informed us that some of the family members were on the way for Supari ceremony. Like in most Asian society, wedding is the time when the family status is displayed by showering the bride with expensive jewelleries. My parents and MIL had made sure that nothing was spared in planning so I was getting lots of jewellery from both side of the family.

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For this occasion, the groom doesn’t come but had sent his 4 cousins with trays of gifts like jewellery, Saris, cosmetic, shoes, bags (I went shopping with my mother in law beforehand and she let me pick everything of my choice which was so nice of her), fruits, Nepali Roti, Masala and much more. There was Supari (betle nuts) and coconut nicely decorated in red clothes and beads, fish decorated with lots of glitter, and decorated yogurt.

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One of the biggest highlights was the cake(remember all the drama I had to get this cake done and I am so glad the final outcome was so good). It was a white forest two level cake with a traditional topper (two men carrying bride in Doli) . Everyone loved it. I am glad we selected that.

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There was a diamond necklace with earrings, a pearl set and the important Tilhari (necklace made of small pote beads with a gold pendant) and Sindoor (Vermilion).

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But the most important out of all this is Sahit paper (The paper which has the details of date and time for our Swayambar). An astrologer decides on an auspicious date, or Subha Sahit, after gauging the influences of the celestial bodies on the bride and groom based on the dates and times of their birth. Fixing the date is but an end of a long, tedious process of setting everything on a right course. Preceding it are labyrinth of activities, like matching of kundalis and comparing and cross-checking of gotras, or ancestral lineages, of the couple. The Sahitpaper was framed nicely in a silver frame.

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The ceremony started with my aunt (eldest woman in the family) doing some Puja and then they handed me all the gifts including Sahit paper, Sindoor and Tilhari. The priest was instructing my aunt on what to do and with the help of my mum the ceremony was concluded. Wedding CeremonyWedding Ceremony

I was so preoccupied during the ceremony that I missed lots of the things that happened. Luckily, there is a video as well as photos for me to relive all the wonderful memories from the day.

I wore all the jewellery and some glass bangles.

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Then it was time to cut the cake. In Newari wedding, both the cakes are cut by bride herself. I cut a cake and it was given to everyone. A big piece that said A weds M was sent for AS so he can have later.

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As you know, no ceremony in Nepali culture ends without the big Bhoj (party) so there was Bhoj and refreshment for everyone including AS’s cousins.

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It was a simple ceremony but it had a great significance as it formally started the wedding 🙂 .

Supari (15)More on the wedding in the next post.

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

P.S: Do not forget to vote your favorite blog . NEPALIAUSTRALIAN’s Blog Award 2014

Go to Part 41

Our Story : Mehendi ceremony- Part 39

This is a continuation of my previous posts. Please read the previous posts here.

Finally after so many ups and down, the wedding rituals began. The first ritual was the Mehendi ceremony.

Nepali wedding, Newari wedding, Nepali bride , Nepali groom, Traditional Nepali wedding, Nepali wedding Sari

Mehendi ceremony is not a traditional part in Nepali wedding but I wanted to do something similar to hen’s night in Nepal. I did have a hen’s night in Australia but I still wanted to do something in Nepal with my cousins and friends as well to remember my wedding as a fun ceremony.

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Mehendi means henna and, during this ceremony, a henna artist applies mehendi to the bride’s hands and feet, as well as to the hands of all female relatives and friends. This is purely done for decoration and to make the bride look even more beautiful on her wedding day. So I arranged a person to come to my place to put Mehendi on. I invited all my close female relatives and good friends. So it was going to be a girl’s night with Mehendi and music.

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I went for bridal Mehendi while all my friends and family had simpler ones. The bridal designs are so intricate, that they require several hours to be drawn and then to dry. My mehendi took more than 3 hours. It was hard spending 3 hours sitting on a chair, with somebody painting your hands and feet, you just cannot move even to eat, drink, go to the loo or basically do anything at all except for talking.

Nepali wedding, Newari wedding, Nepali bride , Nepali groom, Traditional Nepali wedding, Nepali wedding Sari

I waited for another hour for the mehendi to get a little dry and then applied a mixture of lemon and sugar. It is supposed to make it darker. Whole day passed with us having fun while the mehendi guy was applying mehendi to everyone’s hand.

Nepali wedding, Newari wedding, Nepali bride , Nepali groom, Traditional Nepali wedding, Nepali wedding Sari

The mehendi was followed, in the evening, by dancing and music. It was great to see people dancing including my aunts and cousins and having fun. My mum was also having a great time and even though she was busy at the same time as she was making lunch for the guests. It was worth all the effort and money I paid the guy at the end of the day.

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When I scrubbed off the dried out Mehendi, it had left a deep red coloured design. It is a common belief that the darker the colour of the mehndi on the hands on a bride, the more will she be loved by her husband. I was thinking, of course I know that and that is the reason I am getting married to him 🙂

Wedding Ceremony

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

P.S: Do not forget to vote your favorite blog . NEPALIAUSTRALIAN’s Blog Award 2014

Go to Part 40

Anniversary celebration @ The Black by Ezard

First of all, thank you everyone for your wonderful wishes. I am excited to report back that we had an awesome day.

I have to admit taking a day off to celebrate the anniversary was a great idea as we were able to stay in bed till 9 am. I was awake before 7 am but it was nice not to worry about the time and spend more time in bed in the cold winter morning. I just cuddled with AS on the bed.

It was even nicer when AS gave me a nice and sweet card. I loved what he wrote on it and you can say I was touched.

To M,

The love of My life,

My past, My present,My future

Always & forever

AS

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As you can see my AS is a man of few words but when he writes, he makes it count :). I just loved it.

I can see that as the years have passed, we became more compatible and stronger as a couple. We know each other better and we know what to do to please each other. We fight less and get annoyed less. If we fight, it doesn’t last long like before and we both understand each other a lot better. I have to give most of the credit to AS for sure. He brings out the best in me every day.

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We had a lazy breakfast and decided to go out for lunch. Before that, we stopped at a park and spent some time there. It was a windy afternoon but we still had fun in the sun.

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Thai was on the menu for lunch and it was nice and filling. I was again thankful that we had a day off as we did not need to rush. We took our time, enjoyed the food and went home to change.

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We had dinner reservation at the restaurant called Black by ezard.

Black by ezard is by Melbourne chef Teage Ezard, at The Star casino. Ezard is the creative force behind the two hat restaurant ezard and Asian street food diner Gingerboy. The venue is cool and slick, a mix of elegant booth seating and leather upholstered seats, fronted by floor-to-ceiling glass windows that look onto Pyrmont Bay.

We were given a table with a window view. We could see the beautiful Sydney city in evening light.BLACK by ezard (7)We ordered drinks first. I had ORANGE – Angostura Bitters, Passionfruit, Carbonated Natural Spring Water mocktail and AS had a beer, Lord Nelson Three Sheets.

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Before our drink, we were served complimentary brioche with butter and volcanic black salt. It was just delicious with chunks of the warm, buttery bun and inky black sea salt.

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My mocktail came shortly with AS’ beer and we both were happy with our choices.

When faced with a dilemma over what to order, the best thing to do is share. So AS and I decided that we are going for three-course meal but would share all the dishes and it was a good decision.

We stared with mushrooms; a warm salad of exotic mushrooms, rocket leaves, brioche crumbs, parmesan and pork hock, crisp fried, nashi pear, radish, yuzu and green chilli caramel.

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To my surprise I loved the mushroom more than pork. It was so tasty and full of flavour. Also the portion size was really good for up class restaurants like this.

It was followed by gnocchi, handmade potato, roasted chestnuts, black cabbage and ocean trout with crispy skin, cauliflower, heirloom carrot, caper and lemon sauce for main.

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The ocean trout looked and tasted great with lots of fanciful accompaniments. Gnocchi was very enjoyable with black cabbage.

By this point, I was stuffed – I was wondering why I had decided on a three course meal as there was more to come.

Of course, I can never skip chocolate dessert when I am with AS so we had chocolate caramel and chocolate custard, peanut butter mouse, wood grilled banana sorbet as well as lemon olive oil and lemon cake, lemon curd, poppy seed cream, frozen yogurt.

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We had mentioned that it was our anniversary during the reservation and we were happy that they remembered this and so in a wonderful show of hospitality, our dessert plates had ‘Happy Anniversary’ piped in melted chocolate.

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Desserts tasted wonderful, super rich chocolate and peanut butter mouse and the lemon cake was surprising yummy in every bite. I only left some poppy seed cream behind because I was going to explode if I had another mouthful.

The service, while quite good for a restaurant in general, falls somewhat short of hatted service.

I noticed that every time we go to a hated restaurant, the wait staffs make you feel so special.  There were three of them looking after us making sure everything was perfect. I was telling AS that it must be that great feeling you have when you have you own butler like in Downton Abbey 🙂

Overall, I found Black by ezard an amazing dining experience that is everything you would want and expect from a restaurant of this level with impeccable service. Both of us were happy when we left the restaurant.

After that we went to The Star casino for some fun.

It was such a perfect day for us with amazing food and lovely company.

Till next time, take care

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Happy Third Anniversary my darling husband

Today is our wedding anniversary. Like every anniversary, I am writing a letter to my dear hubby.

My dearest AS,

I can’t believe that it has been three years of our union because it feels like only yesterday that I met you again and I started believing in forever. Now that we are together, I want to believe in eternity.

I am glad we have made it so far and I am sure we will go far as we love this journey that we are in together. Every year our anniversary becomes more and more special as every year seems to bring more and more happiness and priceless memories.

I couldn’t have done anything without you by my side. Since I met you, my life has never been the same. Thanks for making it better and happier. Even though we are supporting different teams during FIFA world cup, I know that you are happy when my team wins and vice versa. (You know that my team goona win the cup 🙂 ). Despite our differences, I always have fun when I am with you and that is the most important thing and the most precious moments of my life. At least we agree on one thing that The Games of Thrones is the best series ever.

When I feel sad I turn to you for support and when I feel happy I turn to you to celebrate  because I know you will be there for me as my partner and guide. I know I don’t say it often but I want to thank you for all the love and care, for all the moments we shared, which I truly treasured. Happy Anniversary, my love!

All my love, now and always!

Yours M

Getting ready

my wedding sindoor at wedding

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This is how I looked on our wedding day.

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P.S: Both of us took a day off so have a nice day planned. Will update you soon.

Take care ,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

My money, your money

Everyone dreams of a perfect marriage and a perfect partner but not everyone is lucky in life. There are many factors that might rock the boat of marriage and money can be one of the main factors.

In the past, money was mainly the responsibility of the man and few women had access to money and as a result money didn’t play a vital role in marriage, as men worked hard to earn money and women looked after house and kids. However, these days more and more women are working, making most household a dual income house.

This has brought lots of question to newly married couple.

Are we going to combine all the finance so your debt is my debt and so is the money?

Are we going to keep your money as your money and my money as mine but share all the expense?

These decisions in life play a vital role on which direction the marriage will go.

Growing up in Nepal, I have seen most of the couples live in dual-income marriages where each has full access and control of their own and their partners earnings. But in Australia, I have seen the couples living happily in both arrangements.

One of the reasons why people are hesitant to combine their finances is because they are scared to lose control over their money. They don’t want another person to tell them how to spend their money or what to do with their money.

I can’t tell you whether or not you should combine your finances with your significant other; it has a lot to do with individual comfort levels, trust, and many other marital issues. However, it is a decision that all couples face, particularly if they choose to marry or agree to a long-term commitment: should we combine our finances or not?

I can only tell you what I do and why I made my decision. From the day, my husband and I got together, we combined all our finances. It was not an easy decision but we made that decision together because we thought that was the path we wanted to take moving forward. We were both honest about what we had and what we wanted in future.

Both of us have the same goals like getting married, buying a house and travel. I have to admit travel was number one on my list and somewhere on the bottom on his but we made a decision that we don’t travel all the time but will have at least one big holiday a year. That sounded realistic to me so I agreed.

By combining our finance I was answerable to my big purchases so I can’t just go and spend $500 on a bag and another $200 on a dress in one day. Even before I take my credit card out of my wallet, I will have to come up with a good reason why I spent so much. It proved to be a good thing for me because I always think before I make a big purchase and when I can’t justify it, I don’t buy it. It was not that he was controlling my purchase but I knew we have a goal to reach to and buying whatever I feel like whenever I feel like was adding unnecessary obstacles in reaching our goals. And the same thing was happening with my husband which meant our saving was growing steadily.

Luckily enough our arrangement is working well for both of us and both of us are happy with what we have achieved so far. We have a long-term plan like where we want to be financially when we retire and when we have babies and we can see that if we stick to our plan. We can reach our goal and that is a very happy feeling.

Regardless of how you arrange things, you should discuss your money at least monthly with your partner. This will definitely give a real overview of your financial situation. Otherwise, imagine your surprise when you find out that your partner is in $20,000 debt.

This can be as simple or as detailed as you like, depending on your comfort level, but there should be at least some time set aside regularly so that each person can be as informed about your shared finances as possible.

I do believe that transparency and open discussions is very important in a marriage, as it will strengthen the bond of shared responsibility. When there is financial transparency and common goals, it facilitates two people pulling together rather than away from each other and marriage gets redefined as a partnership between two contributing adults.

Do share how you mange your money?

Take care and have a great weekend,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO