Tag Archives: nepali wedding

Rubbing a pregnant woman’s belly

I think except for a very few times (only to close family member/friends), was I tempted to rub a pregnant woman’s tummy but for some weird reason many family, friends, even strangers felt the need to pat, rub or touch my expanding belly .

I love when my husband touches my tummy because that is the only way he can have contact with our daughter right now. Whenever she  kicked or moved especially the first few times I was so excited and I ask him to feel that with me. Seriously, those moments were priceless when we both felt the baby’s movement at the same time.

Most of the time I don’t mind my friends and family touching my tummy especially if they ask for permission first, but I have a big problem with strangers doing it.

I have to admit though that I was never approached by a stranger on the street who uninvited, just felt that they could touch my pregnant belly. I am not entirely sure what my reaction would have been had they tried. I always felt a little bit special during pregnancy as I mention before, as people were kinder, they would strike up a conversation with me, just give me a knowing smile. It is a serene time in many ways.

 I would feel very scared and worried if a strange asked if it is ok to touch my tummy. I might be OK if the stranger is a woman but men, definitely a big NO NO.

What is it about a pregnant woman’s belly that makes the common sense rules of personal space fly out the window?

May be I should get one of these t-shirts.

I really think it is a personal choice if you feel good when someone rubs your pregnant tummy. We all have different limits we feel as our own personal space. Some feel violated if their pregnant belly is touched, others welcome and love it. For me I am in the middle. As long as it is not too much, I really don’t mind.

Where do you stand on this matter? Do share your experience regarding this.

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO 

Advertisements

There must be something in the water

I have always heard the phase “there must be something in water”. So when someone gets pregnant and all of a sudden it feels like everyone around is pregnant. It’s an old wives tale that there are always more than one person pregnant at a time around you. Remember a while ago, I even complained that there are so many babies and pregnant women around.

It seemed so true because I remember that when my SIL was pregnant, I also had cousin in law and one of our friends pregnant as well. They had babies just 4 weeks apart.

In my case, the first time I found out that I was pregnant we decided to wait till after 12 weeks to tell everyone but in that time before I announced my pregnancy, I found out that few of my colleagues were pregnant.

baby shower (20)

I work for a medium sized company, which has around 150 people in my building. Out of that, more than half are men but to my surprise, in total 6 of us were pregnant around the same time. 4 of them had babies recently and are on leave already. There are only 2 of us left who needs to pop.

While all of us were at work, it was really amazing as everyone kept telling each other to watch out as there must be something in the water as there were so many pregnant women around in such a short period. It has been a running joke around my workplace.

It is actually nice to have some pregnant women around when you are pregnant as we could share tips, advice and also whinge about the discomfort. In addition, we can share opinions about the products and what to buy as all of us are first time mums. We also compared the size of our bumps and share other details only pregnant women can talk about 🙂

I am pregrant (2)

Also one of my good friends in USA is pregnant and is giving birth the same day as I am so there are many exciting news to wait for.

Also in the blog world, a few people are posting their good news and updates.

Is this baby boom happening elsewhere too, or is it just around me?

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO 

Naming the baby

It sounds like a simple task but after getting pregnant, I have found naming a baby to be a most difficult task. Since the day we found out that I am pregnant, we have been going through the same conversation over and over and still haven’t found that PERFECT name we both love and like.

Until we found out the gender of the baby, we decided that it would be wise to wait. We did not want to wreck our brains for both girl and boy names.

We thought we had ages, well, several months actually to come up with something splendid but finding out the gender of the baby didn’t really help. I will be holding the baby in my arms in a months’ time and we are still nowhere close to finalising the name.

I was named using both my parents name so is my brother. My name starts with the first syllable of my dad’s name and ends with the last syllable of my mum’s while my brother starts with the first syllable of my mum‘s name and finishes with the last syllable of my dad’s. Also AS starts his name with his dad’s initial. May be because of these reasons, I definitely want the name of our baby to start with “M” or “A”.

nepaliaustralian

Seriously, before I was pregnant there were so many names that I loved but one by one all of them got eliminated for one reason or another. Most names were eliminated because someone we know has a baby with that name in recent years, the perils of coming rather late to parenthood, and it didn’t feel good to call our baby by the same name.

Because we are thinking of a name from the Newari language, which is meaningful and easy to pronounce in Australia, our choices are limited. When I research online, the top search come from my own blog page and there are far and few in-between other names we found in other pages during the search. We are searching and waiting for that ‘stand out’ name and it is discouraging that we can’t seem to find it.

I know in some cultures, the first grandchild is named after the grandma / granddad. Sometimes I think, that is a great solution, as you don’t need to think about names but how many George, Krishna or Mary can you want in a family?

One of my friends, who has two kids, told me that you just name what feels good at the time and in a few days’ time, the name and personality blend so well with the baby, you can’t think of calling him/her anything else. I am sure it is so true because I can’t imagine being anyone else but M. But deciding on that one name is what we are struggling with. Sometimes, I feel as if we are thinking too much and that is the reason the task seems so difficult.

I have asked my friends and family to help us out but so far I have not received many choices. I had some of them send me links to the most popular names of 2014 but it didn’t really help as they are all English names with no Nepali/Newari meanings.

Australia’s rules on baby names are among the most liberal in the world as it is so multicultural. Pretty much anything goes as long as it is not deemed offensive. The only rule is you need to register the name of the baby within 60 days or there is more complication to register afterwards and costs $174.

I have read the news where parents tried to name their kids Benson and Hedges or Fish and Chips , poor twins, or celebrities who have baby named like Apple or Blue or North.

I really don’t want to give my daughter a weird name which will taunt her whole her life. I am just looking for a simple and sensible name.

We still have to make the decision on the name, at least one which we both agree.

Please feel free to suggest names here and I will be very grateful. You never know we might like it and name our daughter with it. Also wish us luck that we will finalise the name before the baby arrives.

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Things I did not know existed before I became pregnant

I think in life until we really need something, we don’t look for it. That was the case with me when I discovered the world of pregnancy for the first time. I didn’t even know that these are products in the market before I started to need them due to my pregnancy.

nepaliaustralian

Bra extender

The simplest and best pregnancy items were bra extenders. I went from a pre-pregnancy small cup to 2 sizes up in about 12 weeks. So I went and bought some new bras but I outgrew them in just a few weeks. That is when I discovered bra extenders and it has been a life saver.

A bra extender is a separate accessory that can help relieve or eliminate tightness caused by pregnancy. No sewing is required.  These bra back extenders let you increase the size of your bra’s band by 1-1/4 to 3-1/4″.  It looks like a rectangular piece of material that has bra hooks, just like the ends of your bras.  It latches on both ends of your bra, giving you extra room, acting like a patch.

Waist Band Extenders

I did not know this product existed until one of my friends gave me one.

The Waist Band Extenders is designed to allow people to continue to wear their regular sized pants or skirt when they are pregnant. It is made from a simple elasticised strip and is fastened to your jeans using the existing button and buttonhole.

It is a great idea for the initial months of pregnancy as you can still fit into most of your pants and shorts but the button doesn’t fit or is too tight. I spent much less money on it than I would have buying several new pairs of shorts and pants for early pregnancy.

Red raspberry tea

One of my friends who recently had a baby advise me to research on Red raspberry tea to make my labour easier so I went Googling and found more about it.

Red raspberry is a plant that is the source of a widely eaten, tasty, sweet berry. Red raspberry leaves contain a rich assortment of vitamins including Vitamin B complex, calcium, iron, magnesium and fragarine.

When taken during pregnancy, red raspberry leaf is said to aid the mother’s immune system, ease morning sickness and promote better circulation. Taking raspberry leaf is said to strengthen uterine muscles and tone the pelvic floor in preparation for childbirth, as well as assist with breastmilk supply.

I have bought Red raspberry capsule which I am planning to take from week 36 of the pregnancy.

Please let me know if any of you have used it before and your opinion on it.

Compression socks

I have been complaining about my swollen feet in almost every post. I have to say that it is one painful time when your feet can’t support your body. Then someone advised compression socks.

Compression stockings are elastic garments worn around the leg, compressing the limb, exerting pressure against the legs, reducing the diameter of distended veins, and causing an increase in venous blood flow velocity and valve effectiveness. Compression therapy helps decrease venous pressure, prevents venous stasis and impairments of venous walls, and relieves heavy and aching legs.

I have to say it works to some extent but if your feet are two swollen, it doesn’t works as the pressure starts to hurt. I guess it depends on each person.

Bio oil

I kind of heard about bio oil before but never used it.

Bio‑Oil is a special skincare oil that helps reduce the appearance of scars, stretch marks and uneven skin tone.

I use it at least once or twice a day on my belly and breasts. I can feel that my skin has been softer, and hope to get no stretch mark after birth.

Aloe vera gel

Aloe gel is a clear, jelly-like substance found in the inner part of the aloe plant leaf.

Because it is summer and some days get too hot, my swollen feet sometime start becoming itchy at times. Also my feet get so hot and swollen at night, and it’s hard to sleep. So I am using green aloe vera gel to massage on my feet and it does help a lot.

These are my discoveries so far. If you have discovered something useful during pregnancy or post pregnancy please share and I will be grateful. Anything that makes my life easier during pregnancy is heaven sent for sure.

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Boy vs girl

If you have not read my last post, you might have missed out on the news that I am having a baby girl soon. It is one of the most exciting news in my life. When you are pregnant, the most important thing on your mind, of course, is having a healthy baby. Anyone who is given that gift is blessed beyond belief. I definitely did not take that for granted and felt hugely lucky to be having a baby.

But at the same time, every time, I think about babies I was secretly hoping for my first one to be a daughter. I would have been perfectly fine with a healthy baby boy as well but a baby girl is definitely my dream come true.  I had always imagined having a daughter and doing all those fun girly things together and have the same bond with my daughter that I shared with my mum.

baby shower (5)

When we found out the gender of the baby, both AS and I were over the moon. Someone tiny is joining us to complete us and we are going to have our own family. Our parents were happy as well. My MIL law has 3 boys so it is going to be their first grandchild and they are happy that it’s a girl.

baby shower (15)

In my family, my parents already have a grandson so having a grand daughter was great news for them as well.

In Sydney, I have a few cousins and amazingly enough I have 4 nephews in total and no nieces which means I won’t be surprised if my little gal loves cars more than dolls as she will be hanging around with many boys.

But I want to share the reactions of some people (strangers) regarding this topic.

As I mentioned before, one of the indulgence I have these days is having a massage and I was getting my normal massage one day when the girl giving me the massage started a conversation.

Her: “You are looking good for a pregnant woman. Not too much weight in other places, only on the tummy.

Me: “Thank you. I still feel big and tired these days.”

Her: “Do not worry you are not. Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Me: “Yes it’s a girl and I am so excited.”

You should have been in the room to see her reaction. She was totaly put off that it’s a girl, and not a boy. I think because she is from China, and it is a cultural thing in Asia to think that having I baby boy is better than having a girl.

Her: “Ohooo, don’t you wish it was a boy?”

Me: “No I always wanted a girl and so I’m happy that it is a girl.”

Her: “When I am pregnant one day, I want a boy. I don’t like girls.”

I was really shocked by her answer but I didn’t continue the conversation as I saw no point in it but she made me think for sure. I was thinking how my own reaction would be if I were having a boy.

pregnancy  (2)

I am sure I would be fine. There is a different joy having a boy and different for a girl. If we decide to have another baby in the future, I wish the baby to be a boy so we can have a father son / mother son relationship as well. But wishing for one or another and not wanting one, I think is definitely wrong.

I know in most Asian country, including Nepal, many people prefer boy over girl. They think that one day , the girl will be married and will belong to another family while a boy will be yours for lifetime and help your family tree move forward.

pregnancy

I was shocked when I read the following report recently.

200 million girls at present abandoned, aborted or killed mainly because of their gender. The countries which are mostly responsible for such criminal acts are China and India. The number of girls killed by these champion nations (population-wise) is more than the number of girls born in the U.S. annually.

In India, an abortion takes place every minute simply because it is a girl. Many of those who manage to survive such as planned abortions end up getting killed while they are infants. The Invisible Girl Project in India reflects that some areas that practice female infanticide widely has 75 percent higher rate of female mortality than male ones. Presently, India has 37 million more men than women..

China, on the other hand, has maintained a one-child policy for years. The country has ended up with 18 million more men than women at present. According to All Girls Allowed, “gendercide” is a widespread practice in the country where there is a “systematic extermination of a particular gender.

I know it is a different thing to wish for a boy or a girl when you are pregnant but is it inhumane to kill the child even before they are born. How can parents to be make such cruel decision?

Even though my baby is still in my tummy, I worry constantly about her welfare and I am worried all the time if I am doing any harm to her unknowingly but there are people out there who are ready to take the life of the baby just because she is a girl.

I think for the very reason in Nepal when you go for a scan, it is illegal for the doctor to tell the parents to be if the baby is a boy or a girl.

In Australia, you can choose to know the sex of the baby and we found out in our 18 week scan. For me and AS, it was a good decision as I wanted to some preparation done beforehand. But I have many friends who wanted a surprise on the day and it went well for them too.

nepaliaustralian

When you think of having children, do you ever secretly hope for a boy or a girl? Even though people don’t really talk about it, I actually think it’s really common to wish for one or the other.

What do you think about gender discrimination in the 21st century?

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Reaction of our pregnancy news

We decided the first people who needed to know about our pregnancy were our family so we picked a day and decided to tell them.

We call AS’s home as normal and during the conversation, he dropped the news that we are having a baby. They were happy for us and themselves as it was going to be their first grandchild. We also told his brothers about it. Everything went smoothly as planned. They just asked how far along I was and if everything was fine with me.

It was with my parents, the news didn’t go as we planned. We were in the middle of the conversation when I told my parents.

Me: “Mum, now start packing your bags to come here as I am pregnant so you will have to come and look after me.”

Mum: “Hahahaha, (laughing hard) Stop joking about it and have a baby soon. It is about time.” (My dad was laughing now as well.)

I need to tell you why mum thought I was joking. I always wanted my parent to visit us but they keep on postponing and it was been a while since they have been to Sydney. They have always told me to have a baby so they can come here. I always keep telling them I will, soon and that soon has been dragging on for more than 3 years now. I have never joked about being pregnant before but I always told them that we need to have a contract drafted so they can’t back out from coming to Sydney once I am really pregnant. I have a very close relationship with my parents so I always joke about anything and everything.

pregnancy

Anyway coming back to the day, the conversation continued as below.

Me: “I am serious mum, I am pregnant and it is around 10 weeks now. I even went for a scan already.”

Mum: “Stop making fun about pregnancy.” (Still laughing)

At this stage AS decided that my parents thought we were still joking so jumped in.

AS: “Yap, M is not joking, we are having a baby and so far things are going great.”

Finally, they stopped laughing and finally got the idea that I was not joking at all.

Mum: “Ohoo that is great news, I really thought you were joking. How are you feeling?” (Add millions of question after that.)

Yap, that is how we told our parents.

After that we called my brother and told him. Everyone was very happy for us.

We waited another 2 weeks before telling our friends and at work.

I called all my close friends and family and told them the good news. Everyone was very happy about it and it was one of the most amazing conversations I had with everyone.

When we were planning for a baby, there were a few friends around us who were also trying for a baby around the same time or long before us. It was a bit hard for me to tell them because I knew they want the same news too. However, to my surprise, they were very happy for us and there was no discomfort at all. All I want now is for them to be blessed the with same good news soon.

my pregnancyAfter, I passed week 12; I also told my boss at work and my colleagues and AS did the same. Everyone was very happy for us and after that, they are making sure that I am all right. All the mums and dads are always telling me what to expect and how things are going to be.

Finally, it was a great relief to be able to talk about the pregnancy and baby with everyone. It was just amazing how one pregnancy can bring so much happiness and joy not just to the new parents-to- be but everyone around them. Instantly, I have a big support network.

I am eagerly looking forward to our baby and I know it is going to be one of the most exciting and memorable days for us.

I will be writing about my pregnancy journey in the coming days. Also hoping to get all the tips and tricks that you used with your pregnancy and kids to help me and keep me sane :).

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

P.S: Do not forget to vote your favorite blog . NEPALIAUSTRALIAN’s Blog Award 2014

The day I found out we are having a BABY

I really don’t know how to start this post. For the first time in my life, I am wordless. I want to write so much but I can’t seem to find the right words. I know I will not publish this post for a while but I thought I would write this now so I can share the emotional ups and downs about the day when I found out we were having a baby.

I am pregrant (2)

As I shared in my last post, we are having a baby; a new life is growing inside me right now. Thank you to everyone who left such sweet and thoughtful comments on my last post. We are over the moon about the baby and I cannot wait to share our journey with all of you! I was so touched by so many of you who told me that being a mom is the most incredible feeling in the world.

Even though I and my husband have talked about babies in the past, we really became serious about it only this year. Early this year, we went to our GP and told him about our plan to have a baby so he could do any necessary checks for me to be a mum.

The GP suggested me to take prenatal vitamins and gave me a rubella vaccination as it showed in my blood test that I have low or insufficient immunity to the rubella virus. I highly recommend everyone who is planning to do that as the blood test lets your GP know how ready your body is and he/she can help you get it to 100% if it is not.

We were not thinking to have a baby straight away but in 2015. After that we went on holiday to Nepal and came back and did a second blood test. I had a second vaccination for rubella as the blood test was still showing that that I have low or insufficient immunity to the rubella virus.

I started getting worried at that point but the GP told us it is normal. The next blood test showed that everything was normal and after that time we were officially trying and I had been on prenatal vitamin for a few months already.

At this point of time, I started reading a bit about pregnancy and other stuff online. I found the information overwhelming at times and very useful at others. I tried to ignore all the negative stuff I found, as I knew that not everyone is the same and I can have a completely different experience than other mothers out there.

After cramming so much information into my mind about the pregnancy, I was much more aware of the physical signs that your body is pregnant. However, I was in complete denial when I stared seeing signs of pregnancy within a few weeks. As we were just talking about babies only a few weeks ago and it was less than a month from when we said we were ready to have a baby of our own. We decided the time was right then because everyone was telling us that it will take a while before one falls pregnant and here my body was telling me that I might already be pregnant in just a few weeks.

pregnancy

No matter how much I was ignored the signs I could not stop the visits to loo or my strong sense of smell. Every time I found another sign, I googled it and it would confirm them to be the signs of pregnancy.

However, I didn’t want to talk about it to anyone including AS just in case it was a false alarm and waited for my next period. I told myself if I missed the period by even a few days, I would talk to AS. I briefly entertained the idea that I might already be pregnant but then rubbished it as it was too soon and my mind could be playing tricks on me.

The following weekend I went shopping with hubby. I was trying on a few dresses and showing AS if he liked them on me. Normally I wear tight dresses and when I was trying one of them, he told me I look like I was pregnant. The dress I was trying showed my more rounded belly and he said my face I seemed to be glowing too.

At that point, I told AS that I suspected that I might be pregnant for the last few weeks as I had some symptoms but wanted to wait until my next period. I could see his happy face and expression but I told me it might be false alarm so not to hold on to the thought too much. He suggested that we should go to doctor but I told him to wait until next week when I was supposed to have my period.

He agreed and that week went so slowly and both of us were googling all the symptoms I had. I have to admit I had all the symptoms but my mind was not ready to accept the idea that I was already pregnant and definitely needed a confirmation.

It was no surprise when I did not have my period on time and AS suggested that it was high time we go to GP but I stalled him another week saying sometimes it can be late so we better be sure. He even suggested we should get a home pregnancy test to confirm but I didn’t want to as I read that they are not 100% correct. I knew I was putting it off as long as possible because I was mentally preparing myself to be a mum in the next 9 months. Eventually we went to the GP and had a blood test done.

It was Saturday afternoon and I told the GP we wanted to know the result ASAP. He gave us the number for the clinic and asked to call them later that evening if I can’t wait till Monday for the result.

Those 6-8 hours were the longest in our life as we waited for the result. In both our minds, we were sure I was pregnant but at the same time, we were scared to celebrate it until it was 100% and did not want to get disappointed if it was a false alarm.

We talked about what we could do if it was positive and we could not wipe the smile from our faces. At the same time we said if it is negative, it is not a big deal as we could try again. AS is such a big support in my life that I know, I could go through anything with him by my side and I was so happy that we were going to have our own family one day if not in the next 9 months.

my pregnancy

We decided to stay home and do basically nothing until we could call the clinic. Finally, the time came and I called them. I asked about the result and the lady gave me some number in my blood. I had no clue what she was saying so I asked again holding AS’s hand.

Me: “What does that mean, it was a pregnancy test right?”

Lady: “Yes , it is pregnancy test. It means the numbers are higher than normal and you are PREGNANT.”

Me: “Ohoo really?

Lady: “Yes, you are around 4-5 weeks pregnant now.

I thanked the lady and just hugged AS for the next few minutes. We both were out of words but extremely happy that we were going to be a DAD and a MUM.

This is the story of how we found out. We feel incredibly fortunate for this amazing blessing and could not be happier.

Please share your story with me on how you found out you were pregnant. It will be nice to read how your happiness started.

Take care, everyone and more pregnancy stories coming soon.

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

P.S: Do not forget to vote your favorite blog . NEPALIAUSTRALIAN’s Blog Award 2014