Tag Archives: boy vs gal

Naming the baby

It sounds like a simple task but after getting pregnant, I have found naming a baby to be a most difficult task. Since the day we found out that I am pregnant, we have been going through the same conversation over and over and still haven’t found that PERFECT name we both love and like.

Until we found out the gender of the baby, we decided that it would be wise to wait. We did not want to wreck our brains for both girl and boy names.

We thought we had ages, well, several months actually to come up with something splendid but finding out the gender of the baby didn’t really help. I will be holding the baby in my arms in a months’ time and we are still nowhere close to finalising the name.

I was named using both my parents name so is my brother. My name starts with the first syllable of my dad’s name and ends with the last syllable of my mum’s while my brother starts with the first syllable of my mum‘s name and finishes with the last syllable of my dad’s. Also AS starts his name with his dad’s initial. May be because of these reasons, I definitely want the name of our baby to start with “M” or “A”.

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Seriously, before I was pregnant there were so many names that I loved but one by one all of them got eliminated for one reason or another. Most names were eliminated because someone we know has a baby with that name in recent years, the perils of coming rather late to parenthood, and it didn’t feel good to call our baby by the same name.

Because we are thinking of a name from the Newari language, which is meaningful and easy to pronounce in Australia, our choices are limited. When I research online, the top search come from my own blog page and there are far and few in-between other names we found in other pages during the search. We are searching and waiting for that ‘stand out’ name and it is discouraging that we can’t seem to find it.

I know in some cultures, the first grandchild is named after the grandma / granddad. Sometimes I think, that is a great solution, as you don’t need to think about names but how many George, Krishna or Mary can you want in a family?

One of my friends, who has two kids, told me that you just name what feels good at the time and in a few days’ time, the name and personality blend so well with the baby, you can’t think of calling him/her anything else. I am sure it is so true because I can’t imagine being anyone else but M. But deciding on that one name is what we are struggling with. Sometimes, I feel as if we are thinking too much and that is the reason the task seems so difficult.

I have asked my friends and family to help us out but so far I have not received many choices. I had some of them send me links to the most popular names of 2014 but it didn’t really help as they are all English names with no Nepali/Newari meanings.

Australia’s rules on baby names are among the most liberal in the world as it is so multicultural. Pretty much anything goes as long as it is not deemed offensive. The only rule is you need to register the name of the baby within 60 days or there is more complication to register afterwards and costs $174.

I have read the news where parents tried to name their kids Benson and Hedges or Fish and Chips , poor twins, or celebrities who have baby named like Apple or Blue or North.

I really don’t want to give my daughter a weird name which will taunt her whole her life. I am just looking for a simple and sensible name.

We still have to make the decision on the name, at least one which we both agree.

Please feel free to suggest names here and I will be very grateful. You never know we might like it and name our daughter with it. Also wish us luck that we will finalise the name before the baby arrives.

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

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Things I did not know existed before I became pregnant

I think in life until we really need something, we don’t look for it. That was the case with me when I discovered the world of pregnancy for the first time. I didn’t even know that these are products in the market before I started to need them due to my pregnancy.

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Bra extender

The simplest and best pregnancy items were bra extenders. I went from a pre-pregnancy small cup to 2 sizes up in about 12 weeks. So I went and bought some new bras but I outgrew them in just a few weeks. That is when I discovered bra extenders and it has been a life saver.

A bra extender is a separate accessory that can help relieve or eliminate tightness caused by pregnancy. No sewing is required.  These bra back extenders let you increase the size of your bra’s band by 1-1/4 to 3-1/4″.  It looks like a rectangular piece of material that has bra hooks, just like the ends of your bras.  It latches on both ends of your bra, giving you extra room, acting like a patch.

Waist Band Extenders

I did not know this product existed until one of my friends gave me one.

The Waist Band Extenders is designed to allow people to continue to wear their regular sized pants or skirt when they are pregnant. It is made from a simple elasticised strip and is fastened to your jeans using the existing button and buttonhole.

It is a great idea for the initial months of pregnancy as you can still fit into most of your pants and shorts but the button doesn’t fit or is too tight. I spent much less money on it than I would have buying several new pairs of shorts and pants for early pregnancy.

Red raspberry tea

One of my friends who recently had a baby advise me to research on Red raspberry tea to make my labour easier so I went Googling and found more about it.

Red raspberry is a plant that is the source of a widely eaten, tasty, sweet berry. Red raspberry leaves contain a rich assortment of vitamins including Vitamin B complex, calcium, iron, magnesium and fragarine.

When taken during pregnancy, red raspberry leaf is said to aid the mother’s immune system, ease morning sickness and promote better circulation. Taking raspberry leaf is said to strengthen uterine muscles and tone the pelvic floor in preparation for childbirth, as well as assist with breastmilk supply.

I have bought Red raspberry capsule which I am planning to take from week 36 of the pregnancy.

Please let me know if any of you have used it before and your opinion on it.

Compression socks

I have been complaining about my swollen feet in almost every post. I have to say that it is one painful time when your feet can’t support your body. Then someone advised compression socks.

Compression stockings are elastic garments worn around the leg, compressing the limb, exerting pressure against the legs, reducing the diameter of distended veins, and causing an increase in venous blood flow velocity and valve effectiveness. Compression therapy helps decrease venous pressure, prevents venous stasis and impairments of venous walls, and relieves heavy and aching legs.

I have to say it works to some extent but if your feet are two swollen, it doesn’t works as the pressure starts to hurt. I guess it depends on each person.

Bio oil

I kind of heard about bio oil before but never used it.

Bio‑Oil is a special skincare oil that helps reduce the appearance of scars, stretch marks and uneven skin tone.

I use it at least once or twice a day on my belly and breasts. I can feel that my skin has been softer, and hope to get no stretch mark after birth.

Aloe vera gel

Aloe gel is a clear, jelly-like substance found in the inner part of the aloe plant leaf.

Because it is summer and some days get too hot, my swollen feet sometime start becoming itchy at times. Also my feet get so hot and swollen at night, and it’s hard to sleep. So I am using green aloe vera gel to massage on my feet and it does help a lot.

These are my discoveries so far. If you have discovered something useful during pregnancy or post pregnancy please share and I will be grateful. Anything that makes my life easier during pregnancy is heaven sent for sure.

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Boy vs girl

If you have not read my last post, you might have missed out on the news that I am having a baby girl soon. It is one of the most exciting news in my life. When you are pregnant, the most important thing on your mind, of course, is having a healthy baby. Anyone who is given that gift is blessed beyond belief. I definitely did not take that for granted and felt hugely lucky to be having a baby.

But at the same time, every time, I think about babies I was secretly hoping for my first one to be a daughter. I would have been perfectly fine with a healthy baby boy as well but a baby girl is definitely my dream come true.  I had always imagined having a daughter and doing all those fun girly things together and have the same bond with my daughter that I shared with my mum.

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When we found out the gender of the baby, both AS and I were over the moon. Someone tiny is joining us to complete us and we are going to have our own family. Our parents were happy as well. My MIL law has 3 boys so it is going to be their first grandchild and they are happy that it’s a girl.

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In my family, my parents already have a grandson so having a grand daughter was great news for them as well.

In Sydney, I have a few cousins and amazingly enough I have 4 nephews in total and no nieces which means I won’t be surprised if my little gal loves cars more than dolls as she will be hanging around with many boys.

But I want to share the reactions of some people (strangers) regarding this topic.

As I mentioned before, one of the indulgence I have these days is having a massage and I was getting my normal massage one day when the girl giving me the massage started a conversation.

Her: “You are looking good for a pregnant woman. Not too much weight in other places, only on the tummy.

Me: “Thank you. I still feel big and tired these days.”

Her: “Do not worry you are not. Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Me: “Yes it’s a girl and I am so excited.”

You should have been in the room to see her reaction. She was totaly put off that it’s a girl, and not a boy. I think because she is from China, and it is a cultural thing in Asia to think that having I baby boy is better than having a girl.

Her: “Ohooo, don’t you wish it was a boy?”

Me: “No I always wanted a girl and so I’m happy that it is a girl.”

Her: “When I am pregnant one day, I want a boy. I don’t like girls.”

I was really shocked by her answer but I didn’t continue the conversation as I saw no point in it but she made me think for sure. I was thinking how my own reaction would be if I were having a boy.

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I am sure I would be fine. There is a different joy having a boy and different for a girl. If we decide to have another baby in the future, I wish the baby to be a boy so we can have a father son / mother son relationship as well. But wishing for one or another and not wanting one, I think is definitely wrong.

I know in most Asian country, including Nepal, many people prefer boy over girl. They think that one day , the girl will be married and will belong to another family while a boy will be yours for lifetime and help your family tree move forward.

pregnancy

I was shocked when I read the following report recently.

200 million girls at present abandoned, aborted or killed mainly because of their gender. The countries which are mostly responsible for such criminal acts are China and India. The number of girls killed by these champion nations (population-wise) is more than the number of girls born in the U.S. annually.

In India, an abortion takes place every minute simply because it is a girl. Many of those who manage to survive such as planned abortions end up getting killed while they are infants. The Invisible Girl Project in India reflects that some areas that practice female infanticide widely has 75 percent higher rate of female mortality than male ones. Presently, India has 37 million more men than women..

China, on the other hand, has maintained a one-child policy for years. The country has ended up with 18 million more men than women at present. According to All Girls Allowed, “gendercide” is a widespread practice in the country where there is a “systematic extermination of a particular gender.

I know it is a different thing to wish for a boy or a girl when you are pregnant but is it inhumane to kill the child even before they are born. How can parents to be make such cruel decision?

Even though my baby is still in my tummy, I worry constantly about her welfare and I am worried all the time if I am doing any harm to her unknowingly but there are people out there who are ready to take the life of the baby just because she is a girl.

I think for the very reason in Nepal when you go for a scan, it is illegal for the doctor to tell the parents to be if the baby is a boy or a girl.

In Australia, you can choose to know the sex of the baby and we found out in our 18 week scan. For me and AS, it was a good decision as I wanted to some preparation done beforehand. But I have many friends who wanted a surprise on the day and it went well for them too.

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When you think of having children, do you ever secretly hope for a boy or a girl? Even though people don’t really talk about it, I actually think it’s really common to wish for one or the other.

What do you think about gender discrimination in the 21st century?

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO