Category Archives: My Life Lesson

My Life Lesson No 6: Do not judge

Judging others is the easiest thing to do but remember none of us are perfect. No one has the right to judge others because you do not know the circumstances of each individual person. In most cases, if you know the real story behind what you are judging the person on, you will change your mind.

I am sure we all know what it is like to feel judged by someone else. No matter what others are judging me for I find it weird because normally these people have worse things going on in their life. Its like a saying in Nepali “You see a small ant walking on someone’s head but you don’t see the elephant on your own.

Judging people for their choice of clothing, the food they eat, how they parent, who their friends are – the list goes on and on and these judgements do not make us a better person.

I have always been a sensitive person and because of that, it is so hard when people judge me. I feel bad and it is hard to feel criticized or misunderstood and it takes me days to get over it. I don’t normally confront the person so they have no idea that it has affected me so much but for the next 48 hours or so, that is all I can think of.

I am certainly not saying I am perfect and have never been guilty of judging others.  I am not saying that I don’t judge people but my hubby who constantly reminds me not to, is a great help. When I say something about someone, he always tells me to think from his or her point of view. Even though I get annoyed when he says that, it forces me to think from their side. Most of the time it makes all the difference and I will stop judging totally. These days I try my best not to jump to conclusions about others.

I feel judging others is projecting our own insecurities, negativity, and fears onto others life, so it is better to deal with our own problems and keep our judgements to ourselves. When I think about the time we unnecessary spend on judging others it seems to me that it is better to utilize that time and effort to make our self better.

I know many people do judge people if they see some one big/overweight but I know that people have medical issues that prevent them from exercising, or have been going through problems in their life that makes weight loss feel lower priority in their life. I know a friend who is in this boat.

I get negative comments in my blog from time to time but I just ignore then as I know they are not angry with me but with their own life and situation and they just want to vent it somewhere.

Therefore, my aim in life is to make my life better, be happy and live every minute instead of wasting my time and energy in something unnecessary.

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

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My Life Lesson No 5: LIVE life

I know everyone is living but I really think just living and LIVING a life are two different things. Even ants, dogs, monkeys etc. live but only humans can live the life. Most of the time we are so consumed with petty things in life that we just live and stop living the life as it is meant to be and that is not good.

We know that our time on this earth is very short so why are we wasting our time in something not important. Make sure you have good health and make it your priority. There is no excuse for not taking care of yourself because no matter what you do if you are not healthy you can’t be there for your partner, children or parents.

There is no one rule on how to live the life but just breathing is not one of them.

I am sure everyone has a dream. Work towards it. What will be the use of your money if you have millions in an account but you have no one to share that with? What is the value of your money when you are spending 14 hours at work that you hardly see your partner and children? What is the use of the money when it is hard to find time to talk to your parents and you are not there to hold their hands when they need it?

You don’t need to be older to be wiser so from today start living life that won’t make you feel regretful.

No matter how crazy your dream is, if you work towards it you will be happy with yourself and you will see the world differently. Become the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with and you will see that everyone around will be there for you.

Instead of having regrets about the past and wishing you had done something in a different way, act today and live the life you want to.

When you try to live life the way you want to, you might make mistakes, you might hit rock bottom but don’t take that as a setback. Take it as a part of the learning curve and find humour in life. Remember life is a circle and it won’t stay the same all the time.

I know it is not easy to LIVE life and there are times I want to give up and choose the easy way out but the satisfaction you get when you really live the life is priceless. If you taste that once, then you will understand the big difference between just living and LIVING the life :).

Happy Friday and have a great weekend 🙂

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

My Life Lesson No 4: Appreciate what you have

There are so many times in life that we forget how good we have got that all we do is complain and be sad instead of appreciating what we have.

“Happiness will never come to those who don’t appreciate what they have.”

I am a normal human being as well, so many times I complain that I didn’t get better things and I am not happy with what I have. As everyone else I am so focused on things that I don’t have, I forgot to enjoy and appreciate the things that I do have.

But these days I am trying consciously to be happy with what I have. Every time I travel to poor countries, I realise that how much better what I have is. However, at the same time even though they live with minimal things in life, they are the happiest people I have seen.

I have been forcing myself to appreciate what I have by thinking about all the good things in my life. I have a wonderful husband and family, good job and good health. I don’t know why I complain.

Recently I lost a friend to cancer and I know that she would have given anything to be alive and be next to her husband but she didn’t get that choice. I have to say she fought her battle so strongly that every time I remember her, I see a smiling face.

Just few weeks ago, after a long weekend, I was ready to come back to work. I was really annoyed that my car didn’t start. After the initial reaction, I changed my mindset completely; I had a choice to call NRMA (insurance company) and wait for the car to be fixed and be late for work or take a train to work. I decided to take a train because millions of people do that every day and I used to do that before I started driving. I didn’t know why I got annoyed initially as it is completely normal for car to break down from time to time. By looking at the positive side, I was clam and happy to go to work and be at work on time rather than getting pissed at the situation that I have no control over. My day went alright and my car got fixed in the evening.

Every time I visit Nepal, I appreciate that I live in a country where there is no problem of electricity, water or gas. I also appreciate that Australia has good health care and transport system. I am lucky to live here.

Someone wise once said “you don’t know what you have until it’s taken away from you” and I see that time and time again; People longing for what they used to have. I have those regrets as well. I wish I was able to stay with my paternal grand ma (she passed away few years ago) more. I wish I had spent more time with my parents when I had the chance, I wish I had appreciated my life when it was simpler.

So next time you find your mind wandering away from the present moment, towards a place that you wish you were, bring it back. Think about the present and look around and learn to smile as you are lucky to have what you have. There are millions in the world who will be very happy to be in your shoes any given day.

Learning to appreciate what we have right now is an art that’s worth investing a little time in perfecting. So, every time I pray, I thank God for all the good things in my life. I thank him that I am happy and healthy and for the beautiful people around me.

Take care  and have a great week,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

My Life Lesson No 3: Always speak truth

I know we have been taught to speak the truth from a very young age. Whatever religion you follow, the holy book has always mentioned that a liar goes to hell and burns. When we were young, our parents and teachers always taught us that speaking truth is the only right way in life but as we grow older, we tend to lie more and more.

Over my short life, I have learned that if you always speak the truth, you can save yourselves from lots of trouble. I am not telling you that I have never lied in my life but as I grow older, I can see so many benefits of speaking the truth.

First, you don’t have to remember what you told anyone because it is the truth and you will be saying the same thing to everyone but if you lie you might need to lie a hundred times more to cover up that lie. On top of that, you should be willing to lie to everyone because that lie will be easily caught if you tell different stories to different people.

I am a bad lair so people sense something is wrong if I try to lie. When I started this blog for the first time, I posted a few posts online and was not sure if I wanted to share that with my husband because I wanted to blog anonymously, I thought it is OK but I couldn’t sleep properly for the next few days until I told him. I told him because I didn’t want to hide anything from my husband. I never wanted him to mistrust our relationship. On top of that, I know he will eventually find my blog as he surfs the internet so often. In addition, I wanted to share my ideas with him if required.

Even though telling the truth may be difficult for many people, it’s the approach that allows us to earn the respect of others. Nowadays people have a great deal of problem speaking the truth. Many are afraid they will hurt someone, they will be hurt, it’s not politically correct, or it’s easier to avoid conflict. People have lost the connection to their true self and this causes great conflict within them.

One thing I am sure is that if you lie too many times, people will lose trust in you and trying to gain that trust will be a very hard job.

I know there are times in life when it seems better to lie for some reasons, which may be more or less legitimate. Like adults lying to kids if something hurts them or telling your partner he/she is the most beautiful/handsome person in the world. I believe that it is OK because I have done that too. I never told my parents about my hardship as a student because they were so far away and I didn’t want them to worry. I always told them things were great but eventually after I graduated, I told them. Of course, not in detail as I had forgotten a lot too, but they do know now that I had some hard times as a student.

However, you need to be careful while telling white lies too. There is a fine line between them, a lie and a white lie. A white lie should not involve other people. It should only be used in order to protect unfortunate people.

So always try to speak the truth and be willing to accept the truth. When you live your life being honest with yourself, no matter how difficult it is, eventually you will find that you have a better life that is filled with integrity.

Do you agree with me?

Have a great weekend everyone 🙂

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

My Life Lesson No 2: Forgive, forget and move on

I know it is easier said than done but forgiving, forgetting and moving on definitely makes you a happier person.

Normally when an incident occurs and you are thinking over and over about it for days, who is suffering the most? YOU. No matter what pain the other person has caused, in most cases they might not be aware, they don’t care about you so they are hurting you or they just simply too ignorant to see you are hurt. No matter what the situation is most likely the other person who has caused you pain and grief has moved on in their life so why are you holding a grudge.

First of all, you are stressed out. OK I understand you are hurt but eventually you have to let go and move on with your life. Make a decision what you are going to do about the relation you have with that person. There are few choices

  • Never see them again if the pain is too much but forgive so you can move on.
  • Let them know that you are hurt but forgive them so you can continue the relationship
  • Do nothing and hope it will never happen again.

Whichever option you choose, it is in your best interest to make that decision sooner than later so your blood pressure is not high for long. When you experience hurt or harm from someone’s actions or words, whether this is intended or not, you may begin experiencing negative feelings such as anger, confusion or sadness, especially when it’s someone close to you.

These feelings may start out small. But if you don’t deal with them quickly, they can grow into something even bigger. They may even begin to crowd out positive feelings. Grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility take root when you keep thinking about hurtful events or situations, replaying them in your mind over and over again.

As soon as you forgive you will realise that you have lower blood pressure, less stress and improved life.

I know it is hard and sometime I find it takes longer than I like to forgive but if there is someone in your life, you have trouble forgiving, work on it and soon you will find it easier to forgive them. Once you forgive, you will find that peace you have always wanted.

If you find it difficult to forgive, put yourself in the person’s shoes and remember that there are two sides to every story. You may feel like the victim, but you might have hurt the person, too. Also if you have long relationship with the person, think of all of the good things the person did for you which will help you in your judgment as well.

Once you cross the bridge of forgiveness, you will realise that it is easy to forget and move on with your life. They say, “Everything happens in life for a reason.” See if there’s a lesson that can be learned. May be you are trusting people too easily or maybe you are too gullible. Also If you accept that there’s a lesson to be learned, then you’ll be less likely to resent the person for hurting you.

Then use all the energy you have towards something positive. Write a blog post :), go for a run, plan your next holiday. Do whatever you want as it is limitless and at the end of the day you win, because you are happy again.

Take care everyone :),

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

My Life Lesson No 1: Say what you are thinking

I was reading the title of this post again and again. I couldn’t believe I was going to write about life lessons but I guess I could now as I have some life experience. I definitely want to write about what I have learned in my not very long life and share it here hoping it might be helpful to someone.

Having a husband like AS, who can be your therapist and psychiatrist is a great plus point in life. He has always helped me a lot ,especially when I am in pain or in my weakness. There are lots of things he has taught me and one of the thing he has always encouraged me is to tell people what I feel and what is in my head.

I used to be a people person, trying hard to be friends, hard to be responsible in every relation I have like a daughter, sister, friend, cousin, SIL, DIL etc. However, most of the time, no one really saw my sacrifice to please them; actually in most case it went unnoticed. I didn’t even get a simple thank you instead I was taken for granted by the vary people who I was trying to please so hard.

The way I used to deal with it in the past was to just get sad and upset but never in front of the people who said or did something to get me upset. It used to make me feel down to the point I used to cry and make me doubt my every move. I even fought with AS when he tried his best to get me out of my emotion whirlpool.

It took hours and in some cases days to recover from those messes. On the other hand, the person who hurt me had no clue that I was upset let along care that they caused me pain.

So recently I adapted the rule “Say what you are thinking”.

Funny enough it worked so well for me because now I just let them know in kinder words that their action/word had hurt me. In most cases, they seemed to be surprise and say sorry. In others, they didn’t have a better come back so they just ignored it, but still getting my feeling out there was a big relief.

For me it was the best as I spent less time thinking about it as it is already resolved from my side and now I can use the same energy in something better and I am a happier person. I know it may not work every time but I am sticking to it as it has definitely lessen my pain and anguish.

Let me know if you agree with my views?

P.S. We are in Central coast for our easter break. Hope everyone is having a great Easter too. HAPPY EASTER !!!