I know it is easier said than done but forgiving, forgetting and moving on definitely makes you a happier person.
Normally when an incident occurs and you are thinking over and over about it for days, who is suffering the most? YOU. No matter what pain the other person has caused, in most cases they might not be aware, they don’t care about you so they are hurting you or they just simply too ignorant to see you are hurt. No matter what the situation is most likely the other person who has caused you pain and grief has moved on in their life so why are you holding a grudge.
First of all, you are stressed out. OK I understand you are hurt but eventually you have to let go and move on with your life. Make a decision what you are going to do about the relation you have with that person. There are few choices
- Never see them again if the pain is too much but forgive so you can move on.
- Let them know that you are hurt but forgive them so you can continue the relationship
- Do nothing and hope it will never happen again.
Whichever option you choose, it is in your best interest to make that decision sooner than later so your blood pressure is not high for long. When you experience hurt or harm from someone’s actions or words, whether this is intended or not, you may begin experiencing negative feelings such as anger, confusion or sadness, especially when it’s someone close to you.
These feelings may start out small. But if you don’t deal with them quickly, they can grow into something even bigger. They may even begin to crowd out positive feelings. Grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility take root when you keep thinking about hurtful events or situations, replaying them in your mind over and over again.
As soon as you forgive you will realise that you have lower blood pressure, less stress and improved life.
I know it is hard and sometime I find it takes longer than I like to forgive but if there is someone in your life, you have trouble forgiving, work on it and soon you will find it easier to forgive them. Once you forgive, you will find that peace you have always wanted.
If you find it difficult to forgive, put yourself in the person’s shoes and remember that there are two sides to every story. You may feel like the victim, but you might have hurt the person, too. Also if you have long relationship with the person, think of all of the good things the person did for you which will help you in your judgment as well.
Once you cross the bridge of forgiveness, you will realise that it is easy to forget and move on with your life. They say, “Everything happens in life for a reason.” See if there’s a lesson that can be learned. May be you are trusting people too easily or maybe you are too gullible. Also If you accept that there’s a lesson to be learned, then you’ll be less likely to resent the person for hurting you.
Then use all the energy you have towards something positive. Write a blog post :), go for a run, plan your next holiday. Do whatever you want as it is limitless and at the end of the day you win, because you are happy again.
Take care everyone :),
M from nepaliaustralian