Category Archives: Marriage

My money, your money

Everyone dreams of a perfect marriage and a perfect partner but not everyone is lucky in life. There are many factors that might rock the boat of marriage and money can be one of the main factors.

In the past, money was mainly the responsibility of the man and few women had access to money and as a result money didn’t play a vital role in marriage, as men worked hard to earn money and women looked after house and kids. However, these days more and more women are working, making most household a dual income house.

This has brought lots of question to newly married couple.

Are we going to combine all the finance so your debt is my debt and so is the money?

Are we going to keep your money as your money and my money as mine but share all the expense?

These decisions in life play a vital role on which direction the marriage will go.

Growing up in Nepal, I have seen most of the couples live in dual-income marriages where each has full access and control of their own and their partners earnings. But in Australia, I have seen the couples living happily in both arrangements.

One of the reasons why people are hesitant to combine their finances is because they are scared to lose control over their money. They don’t want another person to tell them how to spend their money or what to do with their money.

I can’t tell you whether or not you should combine your finances with your significant other; it has a lot to do with individual comfort levels, trust, and many other marital issues. However, it is a decision that all couples face, particularly if they choose to marry or agree to a long-term commitment: should we combine our finances or not?

I can only tell you what I do and why I made my decision. From the day, my husband and I got together, we combined all our finances. It was not an easy decision but we made that decision together because we thought that was the path we wanted to take moving forward. We were both honest about what we had and what we wanted in future.

Both of us have the same goals like getting married, buying a house and travel. I have to admit travel was number one on my list and somewhere on the bottom on his but we made a decision that we don’t travel all the time but will have at least one big holiday a year. That sounded realistic to me so I agreed.

By combining our finance I was answerable to my big purchases so I can’t just go and spend $500 on a bag and another $200 on a dress in one day. Even before I take my credit card out of my wallet, I will have to come up with a good reason why I spent so much. It proved to be a good thing for me because I always think before I make a big purchase and when I can’t justify it, I don’t buy it. It was not that he was controlling my purchase but I knew we have a goal to reach to and buying whatever I feel like whenever I feel like was adding unnecessary obstacles in reaching our goals. And the same thing was happening with my husband which meant our saving was growing steadily.

Luckily enough our arrangement is working well for both of us and both of us are happy with what we have achieved so far. We have a long-term plan like where we want to be financially when we retire and when we have babies and we can see that if we stick to our plan. We can reach our goal and that is a very happy feeling.

Regardless of how you arrange things, you should discuss your money at least monthly with your partner. This will definitely give a real overview of your financial situation. Otherwise, imagine your surprise when you find out that your partner is in $20,000 debt.

This can be as simple or as detailed as you like, depending on your comfort level, but there should be at least some time set aside regularly so that each person can be as informed about your shared finances as possible.

I do believe that transparency and open discussions is very important in a marriage, as it will strengthen the bond of shared responsibility. When there is financial transparency and common goals, it facilitates two people pulling together rather than away from each other and marriage gets redefined as a partnership between two contributing adults.

Do share how you mange your money?

Take care and have a great weekend,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Another trip planned :)

I have great news; I am going to Kathmandu again. And yes there is a reason we are going, yet another celebration. My brother in law is getting married. I will be there in a months’ time and it will be a great time to see my parents and in law again. It has been a year since we are back from our last trip but I can’t wait to go again.

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Our holiday has been approved at work and we have booked our tickets so it is all set, counting down the days now.

I have even started my shopping for gifts. Amazingly, we say, we will never do a big shopping for gifts each time we return from Nepal. But each time before we go there, we make a list of gifts. This time too the list is long with names of people we want to buy for but I am happy to buy as their smile is worth the trouble we go through. Looks like for the next few weekends that is all we will be going.

In addition, I will be buying things for my future SIL. I already bought things like perfumes, make-up and other items but still there are a few other things still on the list.

I have never met my soon to be SIL but we have chatted a few time on Facebook. She seems to be nice girl and I am sure she will make my BIL very happy.

Wedding always excites me and this time it is at home so it will a be really fun filled event  with lots of foods, music, dances, ritual and people. I will definitely report on everything.

As usual every time I plan to go to Nepal I have a long list of things to do and buy and I have never manged to cross off everything. I am hoping this time I will be able to do a lot.

I really want to buy some specific decoration items for our home here so every day I can see them and admire them. I am looking for one big painting (I am not very sure but still want to try before forking out money here) and some traditional masks.

I am also thinking I should look for some traditional cushions .

As usual, I need to buy lehengas and saris for the wedding and accessories to go with them. I am sure until the wedding is over, we will be extremely busy but I have a few weeks after the wedding when I can to do things that I like.

The top one is trekking somewhere in Nepal. I am not even sure that it will be possible, as trekking requires at least a week but I will try my best. My list has grown longer day by day so hope to tick off most of it while I am there.

Anyway looking forward to enjoying the company of my family and friends and be spoiled soon. Hope I might even meet a few of my blogging buddies there like last time.

Take care everyone ,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Marriage on the rocks

If you are worried after reading the title, please do not worry, I am still happily married. But recently I have had friends and colleagues who are either divorced, separated or their marriage is on the rocks. This made me think about marriage in general and of course I and AS.

Most of my friends and colleagues I am talking about have been married for a long time. One of them for 10 years, another 14 and others many more too. Most of them were high school sweet hearts and in love for a long time before they decided to get married and have beautiful kids but after such a long union, they decided to part way and inmost cases, the reason was infidelity. I was actually shocked in many cases, as I knew both people in the marriage.

I have heard about the 7 year itch and read a lot about what happens to sex life when one has kids. Still looking around and finding so many people with their marriage in tatters really made me think about marriage in general seriously.

AS is my best friend first before my husband so I share what I was thinking with him all the time. So while in this topic, I asked him “Do you think we might have a problem like this in our marriage as well?” I am not sure what kind of answer I was hoping to get but I was shocked when he answered “Of course, we will. I am not going to say we will have a perfect marriage.” As much as I appreciate his honestly, it also made me worried about the whole institution of marriage.

I come from Nepal, a country where  they teach that marriage is for life but even there things are changing slowly. The divorce rate is still not as high there as in the western world. So when I married AS, I married him for life, for better or for worse. But seeing so many couple heading down the divorce path, I really want to work harder on my marriage to make sure we don’t ever head towards that path.

As everything else in life, I know we tend to take our partners for granted after being with them for few years which means we may not make a special time for him and once kids are in the equation, most mums are really too busy to plan something as a couple. But I still can’t justify someone cheating on their partner because they are bored.

When Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston got divorced many years ago, I was always Team Jen. I used to like Brad Pitt as an actor but I couldn’t stand the fact that he cheated on his wife. I know everyone has their weak moments and relationships go sour but one can always exit the relationship gracefully before entering to another one so why cheat?

Most people who cheat seem to think they will never be found out but living in this modern world where very cell phone has a camera and everyone has Facebook, how can they be dumb enough to go around their partners back to have fun.

While talking to AS, he was making me understand how men think and I know that they don’t have their brain in their head but I still can’t forgive a person who cheats no matter if that’s a man or a women.

But that takes me to my next question. What will do if you find out your partner is cheating?

There are 3 solutions

  1. Do nothing and pretend nothing happened
  2. Forgive and work on the marriage
  3. Get Divorced/Separated

To be honest, I don’t think I will be able to do first two options. I definitely can’t pretend nothing had happened when I know that my husband is sleeping with someone else. I probably could forgive but for the rest of our life I will wonder where he has gone or whom he had been with and that won’t be the kind of relationship I will like to continue where there is no trust. So the only option that I can manage will be getting divorce.

Therefore, I do understand why all my friends decided to choose that path when they found out that their partner was cheating.

But before we can get to that fork on the road where there are only those three solutions there must be things we can do to make sure we are never in that situation.

Of course, relations and marriage are between two people but each individual makes it work so I am seriously thinking about ways to keep our marriage as happy and healthy as it is now. Here are a few things I think will help for a long lasting relationship.

  • Never take each other for granted
  • Do nice things for each other from time to time
  • Make time for each other and hug, kiss, hold each other.
  • Respect each other
  • Think before you speak (I need to practice this more)
  • Compromise to make him/her happy
  • Do things together
  • Be aware of each other’s need
  • Take time out to talk
  • Don’t withhold intimacy as a punishment
  • Never compare your relationship with other couples because you don’t know their real relationship (behind the fake smiles maybe)
  • When your partner does something that upsets you, stop, sit down, and explain to your partner why what he/she is doing is bothering you
  • Accept your partner for who he/she is, after all you married him/her because you loved the way he/she is
  • Respect the fact that your partner is going to need alone time
  • Be positive and work for your future together

Please share your tips here so we all can help each other. All I wish is to have AS in my life until I take my last breath and can’t imagine my life without him. Wish everyone a happy relationship.

Take care everyone and have a great weekend,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Our Story: The Engagement – Part 15

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 ,Part 13 and Part 14.

If marriages are made in heaven, it is literally so in the Hindu system because of the belief that all major events of life are influenced by heavenly bodies; that is, by the stars, planets, moons and so on. A simple task of fixing the marriage date, for example, calls for a consultation with an astrologer and he decides on an auspicious date, or Subha Sahit, after gauging the influences of the celestial bodies on the bride and groom based on the dates and times of their birth.

So, for our engagement, fixing the date became a long and tedious process because there were so many things to be considered. First of all, it was our birth chart. Astrological compatibility consideration is not only a mere ancestral practice but is a way to get the knowledge regarding the nature, features, love and the social communication features of the people. Unless and until compatibility is found between the two persons, they can’t hold a life-long relationship happily. Since it is a very difficult task to get an accurate knowledge of a person’s nature etc. before a marriage (or a long-term relationship), Astrology can definitely help the two lives a great deal.

The other main factor was I was leaving for Sydney at the end of January and the dates had to be before I left.

We somewhat already knew what the astrologer would tell our family about AS and my horoscope compatibility. AS had a flatmate who was good with astrology so before he came back to Nepal, he asked him to see how compatible we were; as we knew it would matter to our family.

Lucky for us, it came back 27.5 out of 36 points. It stated that

The score of compatibility points is much above the mean. This speaks of only good in all respects pertaining to married life. Marriage between the prospective pair is highly recommended. Only the very best in all the respects could be taken as destined. Normally a match with 18 or more points is considered good.

It was a relief for both of us and when our parents did the same thing in Nepal, they were happy with the result as well.

Finally, a date was decided, few days before I was to leave. As always, it was meant to be a small ceremony between few close family and friends but it turned out to be a function for around 150 people. Initially, we were planning to have the ceremony at my house, but with 150 people, it was not possible so a venue was arranged.

When the big day came, I was tired and excited at the same time because there was so much to be done in leading up to the day. I had to shop for the outfit I was going to wear that day. Then I also had to shop for outfit AS’s family was giving me. My MIL thought, it will be best if I buy those stuff myself so I would wear them in the future. That was really nice of her.

I was preparing for the engagement and going to Sydney at the same time. I didn’t have many days after the ceremony so I was trying to do as much as possible before hand.

The day before the engagement, I went to the party venue with some of my good friends to decorate the place. I wanted to do a feature wall and decorate it so that it would look like an engagement venue. So we printed out our names including Happy Engagement in colourful papers along with lots of hearts and stars. It took ages to cut them and then stick them on the wall but the effort was worth it as the place looked nice after the decoration. I was really grateful that I had AS and a bunch of my friends to help me.

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On the morning of the engagement, I work up early. I already had my aunts and cousins at my place.  After a shower, we had breakfast and it was time to get ready for the occasion.

I had bought a red sari for the day and my mum had made sure that all the jewellery was ready for the day. I put on my sari, chura, jewelleries and my cousins did my hair and makeup. I was dressed in red sari with golden work. Had my hair and make-up done like a Nepali bridal. I was feeling as if  it was my wedding, not an engagement, as there was so much fuss at my house.

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Finally, everyone was ready and we headed towards the party venue. Many of my relatives were already there and the party was going on full swing. People were enjoying their entrée and drinks.

 After what seemed like ages, AS and his family finally arrived at the venue. AS was dressed in a dark blue suit and I swear he looked so handsome. My dad welcomed him at the gate with tika (a mixture of rice, yogurt and vermillion) and garland and brought him to sit next to me on a sofa.

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When I saw him with his family that day, my heart was melting because everything around me was so real and we are making our relationship official now.

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The groom’s side followed the tradition and brought trays and trays of sweets, fruits and gifts for me. A few days ago, we had ordered a big cake as well so it was also ready.

First of all we waited for the auspicious time and then the priest started to say few mantras. Then the priest put tika on our forehead and told us that that we should exchange the rings.

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So in front of our families and friends, we exchanged rings and we were officially “ENGAGED”.

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It was followed by the elders putting tika on our forehead and blessing us for a happy life together. It started with our parents followed by his and my relatives.

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At the end, we had so much tika on our forehead that it kept sliding to our nose. Some of our relatives had brought us gifts and flowers too.

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After that we cut the engagement cake, one of the yummiest cakes I have ever eaten; with fresh cream in black forest base. Once we cut the cake, we fed it to each other. As there were too many people around, I took a small bite of the cake and his relatives were encouraging me to have a big slice. It was all so much fun. Then we gave the cake to our parents and then to the rest of the guests.

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After the main ceremony, everyone was buys enjoying the party with the food and dancing. We had photos taken with everyone as well.

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After a few hours, when the party started to come to an end, AS and his family left and we were left with only a few of my close friends and relatives. We didn’t want to stop the party so we continued to party until after midnight and I made sure every one of my relatives were on the dance floor including my parents. It was really fun.

Fun was over for a while after this event because after a few days of the engagement, I left for Australia. I will continue about that in the next post. Take care till then.

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 16

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story – First date – Part 12 *Our Story – Meeting the Parents – Part 13

Our Story : Kochi ceremony – Part 14

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 and Part 13

AS and I were glad once the initial meeting with our parents was over. We had lots of time in our hands as AS decided to stay in Nepal till mid Feb since one of his cousins was getting married while I extended my leave and decided to quit a semester at the university. At that time, I had been teaching at a university and every semester went for 3 months. I decided I would stay in Nepal till the end of March so I would have enough time to spend with AS and my parents. I had never had a long leave in my life and when I talked to my boss, she was alright with that.

So, our days were passed just meeting, going out to different cafes and restaurants and going to explore places like temples and gardens and other tourist sites around Kathmandu. Both families had no objection now with us spending so much time together. AS visited my home more often and vice versa.

However, as always, our fun had to come to end because I got an email for a new job. I had applied for a few jobs before I had left Sydney thinking to change jobs. One of the places emailed asking for suitable time for an interview. Initially, I wrote back that I was in Nepal and I am OK to do phone interview if they were happy with that.

I got a replied that they would like to do that so we arranged a phone interview. So the date and time was set. I was very nervous about this interview as I had never had a phone interview before. When they called, the line was so bad that I thought no matter what I said they won’t understand the answers properly. But fortunately, they liked me during the interview and I was asked for second face to face interview.

I was extremely happy about it all as I really wanted that job but I wasn’t sure if I was going to get the job for sure so before replying, I asked AS and my parents for advice. All of them told me that I should go for the interview and if things didn’t work out, I can always come back to Nepal. I replied to the job that I am available for interview in early February as I knew it would not be possible to hold the interview any later.

When this was going on at my end, both the families were a bit worried about us. Because if I get the job, I may not be back for over a year and once AS leaves, he may not be back for a while as well. So, they decided that we need to make our relationship official so the Kochi ceremony was planned.

Kochi means “to fix” in Newari. It is a ceremony where groom’s family officially asks the bride’s family for the bride’s hand for marriage to their son. So, close relatives of both the family met so his family can ask my hand in marriage from my family.

I have always said this and believe that marriage in Nepal is not only between two people but between two families. And ceremonies like this, makes it really important that both the families are happy about the reunion otherwise imagine the mood during ceremonies like this.

Our relationship went from cruse mode to race mode. Everything seemed to happen in fast forward. It seemed like we both lost control and were just going with the flow.

So the Kochi venue was fixed in one of the cafés nearby. I was super stressed as I had to meet all his relatives. Even though we said it was going to be a small gathering, it ended up with around 20 people.

As usual, I was also stressed about my dress, hair and makeup. Luckily I had bought few Kurtas already so I had a set I could wear during the ceremony. I wasn’t even sure what was expected of me as I had never gone to anyone’s Kochi ceremony. Not living in Nepal for a long time, it was hard for me to remember the traditional ceremonies in depth.

Finally the day for Kochi arrived. From the morning, I was bit tensed but AS was there telling me everything will be all right. So I went to the café with my parents and some uncles while my other uncles were going to meet us there.

When we reached the café, AS’s side of the family was already there. After the initial introduction, we all sat down and we ordered food and drinks.

As you know, Kathmandu is not a big place so it happened that some of my relatives already knew some of his relatives. It made it easier for everyone to break the ice and everyone was talking and enjoying each other’s company. There was a kind of positiveness and happiness in the room and everyone seemed to be enjoying the occasion. Looking around the room, I was satisfied that my fear was not justified and things would be fine.

I was sitting between AS’s mum and his aunt. They of course had many questions form me and I just answered in my best possible manner. I saw AS was sitting will my uncles and he and was enjoying his food and the conversations. After a while, it didn’t feel like there were two different family but they seems to be like friends who knew each other for a while.

During the conversation, from time to time, someone would share a joke or some old incident lifting everyone’s mood up. I was just happy looking around the room and thanking god that things were going better than hoped.

After both families were comfortable with each other the eldest member of AS’s family officially asked my hand in marriage for AS. It felt all so unreal to hear the formal speech and my dad accepting the proposal formally as well.

It was decided that a small engagement ceremony was to follow and was announced to everyone.

Do you have similar culture in your country?

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 15

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story – First date – Part 12 *Our Story – Meeting the Parents – Part 13

Our Story : Meeting the Parents – Part 13

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 and Part 12.

Once we left the café, we headed towards my home. I told AS not to worry at all as my parents were very cool but I knew that AS and I both were bit nervous. I kind of knew my parents will like him but at the same time I wanted them to love him as well.

It was as a huge milestone in our relationship and it was exciting and promising. After all, it indicated to me that AS felt positive about the future of our relationship together. I knew that it had not been very long ago that we started our relationship but we didn’t have lots of time as both of us were leaving the country in a month’s time.

When we reached home, dad was busy with someone downstairs and mum was in the kitchen, I asked him to wait for them in our living room and went to the kitchen to fetch my mother. Both my parents are not very talkative people so I was a bit worried how the meeting would be.

My mum came to the room and I introduced them. He did Namaste and then they talked for a few minutes. Then my dad arrived as well and my mum left to go to the kitchen as there was a feast being readied for AS. My dad and AS seemed to be getting on well so I was relived. You always want your parents to like your partner as it makes it easy for you to deal with both of them. As I saw AS was comfortable with my dad , I left them for a moment to go to the kitchen and see what my mum was up to.

When I got to the kitchen I saw that she was busy preparing lunch. I told her that we are very full and there is no need for lunch, may be just tea and snacks but she said that it was AS’s first visit so he has to eat some nice food. I knew I was not going to win in this instance so I just gave in.

I asked my mum how she liked AS and she told me that he looked like a nice guy. I took the tea and some snack with me to serve AS and my dad. By then I am sure both of them were feeling comfortable with each other.

AS ate some snacks and had his tea. Then my mum told everyone that lunch was ready so we went upstairs to eat. I couldn’t believe that my mum cooked so many different dishes and AS’s plate seemed to have heaps of every one of them. I felt a bit sorry for AS as I knew both of us were full form our lunch together. So I went and tried to take some things off his plate but my mum caught me in the act and didn’t let me.

My dad and AS sat down for lunch but I decline to eat. My tummy had no room for food and I was bit nervous as well.

To my surprise by the end of lunch AS had finished every item on his plate. And no wonder my mum was so pleased. He even praised my mum’s cooking. But it was not over yet. My mum also served some sweets and knowing AS and his love for sweets, he ate them too.

After lunch, AS stayed for a while and then he had to leave as he had plans at home for the evening. I told him I was sorry that he had to eat so much but he said that he loved it and enjoyed his meal. I accompanied him till the gate of our house and then came back upstairs to hear what my parents thought.

Both my parents were extremely pleased with him and my mum was super happy that her future “jwain” (son in law) was so easy to feed unlike me and my brother. They told me to that they were happy with my choice.

I was over the moon when I heard that as I really wanted my family’s approval to take our relation further. That night I slept well but the next day was a different story.

The next morning I woke up, had breakfast and got ready to meet AS’s parents.

I never knew that meeting your partner’s parents could also be so intimidating.  I was wondering what was in store for the future of your relationship together if his parents didn’t like me.  I had so many conflicting thoughts and emotions that were running through my mind. But I tried to put all negative thoughts behind me and started concentrating on the day.

I know first impressions are often lasting impressions, and I absolutely wanted to dress to impress his parents on the big day of introduction. I wanted to look attractive, presentable, and fashionable so I put on my best Kurta suruwal, did my makeup and hair and waited for AS to pick me up. The plan was to meet his parents and then we would leave to do some shopping in the city. I was really scared to spend a very long time with them in case I stuffed things up. It had sounded like a good idea at the time we had decided to meet each other’s parents but in real life most plans don’t work out as expected so I was a little bit nervous.

When I reached AS’s place, I met his mum and dad. Both or his brothers were not home. Both my future in laws made me feel at ease and talked to me as if they had known me forever but I was nervous in answering them. They asked me some basic questions about where I work or what I studied and what are my plans for the future. AS’s mum talked most of the time while his dad listened and made some comments in between. From time to time, I looked at AS when answering question but he was just there smiling at me. I really wanted things to go well that day. While we were talking, suddenly they had some unexpected visitor, AS’s uncle (his dad’s elder brother) and aunt.

I was now more nervous about what to do and say as it was not in our plan. AS’s mum introduced me to them and they started talking to me too. As they had some other plans, they didn’t stay long.

After they left AS’s mum asked me to stay for lunch (morning Bhat dal). I told her that I am full from breakfast but she said that she was not letting me go without eating something as it was my first time to their home. Seriously every mum seemed to have the same agenda, to feed everyone that they can get their hands on. It was sweet of her but it was not going to be an easy time for me.

First of all, I was full from breakfast and second of all I didn’t prefer eating dal bhat in the morning. But I sat down with AS and his dad while mum served us food. The food was yummy but it took a long time to finish what I had on my plate. AS’s mum wanted me to eat more but I kindly refused. I was just glad when I finished what I had on my plate. I really didn’t want to be rude and not finish my meal.

Finally once we finished, AS got ready and we left. I said my good byes and we were off to the city.

Once we were on our own, I asked how he thought I was. He said I looked so nervous that he felt it was funny. I am a talkative person but I lost all my words when I was in his house.

Later AS told me that his parents were happy to meet me and wanted to meet my parents next.

So after a few days, our parents talked on the phone and decided to meet. AS’s parents came over to our place for dinner. We made sure many varieties were prepared and they had a great time with my parents.

After the meeting, both of us were happy as we had taken the next step in our relationship.

We thought the tough time had passed but there was more to come. I will tell you next time. Till then take care.

Please share your Meeting the Parents story. Were you scared?

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 14

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

 

Our Story : First date – Part 12

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 and Part 11.

When we finally met, I could barely contain my happiness, as my first thought was, finally we are together. After the initial meeting at the airport, AS insisted that he would drop me home even though his home would come before mine did when coming from the airport. I felt really happy about this gesture and was happy to spend a few minutes more with him. So he dropped me home and promised to call once he got home. I couldn’t wait for him to call me and talk to me.

But I knew it would be a while. He had come home after a few years so he would need to spend some time with his family, take some rest and then may be call me. I promised myself that no matter how much I wanted to talk with him, I wouldn’t call him. I wanted him to have his time with his family. So I had lunch and was surfing the internet when he called. I was just pleased that he did. He told me that he was going to take a shower, have his lunch and spend some time with family. He would call me again whenever he could but we were meeting tomorrow for sure.

That day we had a very short talk in the evening but I was excited waiting for the next day. It was going to be our official first date.

As he had his birthday a few days ago, we had celebrated over Skype. I had a muffin with a candle and gave it to him online. Unfortunately, he didn’t get to eat his cake but he was glad that I was there to celebrate his birthday.

our story (1)I had got a gift and a card for him as well which I wanted to give it to him. I was eagerly waiting for him to open that. So the plan was to meet for lunch and after lunch, my parents were to meet him.

I had millions of thoughts in my mind when I went to bed that night; excited, scared, happy, worried and loved.

The next morning I work up early and helped my mum clean up. I think my parents were more excited to meet AS than I was. My mum was going to prepare some nice lunch and she was busy giving my dad her shopping list. I told them that he would be full as we were meeting for lunch first but as you know how it is with all mums, they love to feed.

Anyway, I had shower and was thinking hard on what to wear. Normally, I would just slip on a dress but it was winter so my choice was to wear jeans or be traditional and wear Kurta. I decided on jeans and a jacket. I wore a scarf and checked to make sure I looked all right before going out. We were to meet at a cafe midway between both our places and it was a date.

I had known him for years now but he was my boyfriend for only a few weeks so I had millions of questions on my mind I needed answers to. I really didn’t know where we were heading and what would happen when I went back to Australia and he to USA. As I was leaving the house, he called me asking me not to leave yet. He decided to pick up me so I waited until he came. He called me from outside and we went to the restaurant.

We reached the restaurant and ordered coffee and some lunch. I really wanted to hug him and hold him but in Nepal, it is a big no no to public display of affection . So the only thing I could do was hold his hand. We talked for a while when I told him I needed to use the ladies. Then I went around to the café area to check if they had any cakes as I wanted him to have his birthday cake but unfortunately, they didn’t have any big cakes except muffins. I thought they would definitely have one so hadn’t organised anything beforehand. Anyway, I told them to bring a muffin with candle lit on it after we had finished our lunch.

When I was back, lunch was already served and we had our food. I seriously didn’t care about the food at all as it was so good to have him next to me. All I wanted was to look at him and just listen to him talk. We talked about so many things including what we were gonna do and what both families were hoping for.

our story (6) our story (7)Once the lunch was over, the waiter came with his birthday cake, a muffin with candle on it. He was totally surprised and I was really pleased to see his expression. I gave his card and gift. He kept on saying thank you and I was just happy that I was able to make him happy.

First, he opened the card and it read,

our story (2)

For you Dear friend and love

Friends like flowers,

grow on the way

on the path we

travel from

day to day.

Some are fair-weather flowers

that fade before long,

but some of them

bloom even when

things go wrong.

And friend like you

are the flowers, that grow  in

beauty with the showers.

Our friendship

has bloomed through

the wind and rain,

it has blossomed

brighter through

trouble and pain,

that’s why your birthday,

I want to promise you…

I will always be there for you.

to stand by you

always and to be

your friend all life through

YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

DEAR FRIEND!

I promise to be there

every birthday

for rest of our life.

He read it carefully and just hugged me and said, “I love You M.” Then he opened the gift.

our story (3) our story (4)It was a clock with a heart on it. I had been so confused as to what to buy and finally settled on the clock. I wanted to tell him that my heart ticked because of him and how much I am in love with him and every minute of my life is meant to be spent with him from now on.

I also bought him a love heart key ring, I know it is a bit cheesy but I loved it. I bought a pair, which made a whole heart, and when broken into two, each key ring would have half a heart.

our story (5)I really liked the idea so I bought them for us. (Both of us still have them in our key ring 🙂 ). When he saw that, he was touched and told me that he will never break my heart like the one he was holding.

He said it was one of the best birthday celebrations he ever had as he was spending it with me. Isn’t that just sweet? I couldn’t be happier hearing those words.

Then he said he had something for me too. I was seriously not hoping to get anything from him but was happy he thought of me while we were apart. He took out something from his bag. The first one was an Oscar statue which said “Best Sweetheart.”

our story (8)I was touched that he thought of me and bought such a significant gift. It meant a lot to me. I told him that I was ecstatic with the gift. Then he said he wasn’t done yet and took something else out of the bag. It was a red square box and had a white gift bow around it.  I really didn’t know that he made such an effort to look for something for me. I opened it and it was a pair of pearl earrings. It was just perfect and I couldn’t hold my happiness.

our story (1)AS: I hope you like them. I didn’t know what to buy but I thought this will be nice on you.

Me: It is just perfect. Thanks love. I wasn’t hoping to get anything from you at all.

AS: I am just glad you love them. I wasn’t too sure what to buy but when I was in LA, when I saw the statue. I knew that it would be a perfect gift for my sweetheart.

Me: Ohoo, thank you so much. And I love the pearl too. I promise to keep it safe and wear it all the time  🙂

AS: I am glad you did 🙂 (big grin on his face)

We spent some more time in the café and then left to go to my home. It was his turn to meet my parents that day and the next day would be mine. I warned him that my mum had cooked a big lunch for him.

This is it for now but will write soon about our experience meeting the parents next.

Please share your first date story. What were you feeling and how do you feel now after many year? Love to hear.

Take care everyone!

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 13

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