Tag Archives: baby showers

Just because you think you are right, doesn’t make me wrong!!!

I am sorry to bring the topic of babies again to my blog but my life revolves around babies these days. Only last week one of the friends who had a baby girl in December has a Pasni (Rice feeding ceremony), Nepali version on Christening. It was a fun event and I was happy for the excuse to wear sari and also to share in their happiness.

I am attending another Pasni tonight for another friend’s baby boy. I have more baby showers, Pasnis and babies’ birthdays this year than I can ever remember.

I am always happy to be a part of my friends’ happiness which includes their little ones. It is so nice to see the babies growing up so cute and adorable. It is nice to listen to their experience and share their joy. There are at least five of my friends pregnant right now.

But what I do not like when I go to these functions is everyone asking me when I am going to have a baby. I think that is a valid question but I still don’t want to be constantly bothered when I have already told then that it’ll still be a few years before I have a baby.

One of my friends who is pregnant said, “There is a right time for babies so if you don’t have in now, you may regret it later”. I was really annoyed when she said that because it is my and my husband’s choice to decide on when to have a baby and we decided to wait a few years. Come on, I haven’t even had my first marriage anniversary yet. Why don’t everyone leave me alone and let me enjoy my time with my husband. Just because she is pregnant now and heading towards motherhood, doesn’t mean I need to follow in her footsteps. And just because she thought that it is the right time for her, my choice of not having a baby right now doesn’t make me wrong.

The other day, in a similar conversation, another friend of ours told us that she got pregnant because she thinks that it is the right time and implied that we need to think about it as well.

My friends may think that they are doing us a favour by suggesting to us to have a baby but I don’t want to be pressured into having a baby just because they are pregnant now. Me and my husband have a plan and we want to move according to this plan. We don’t want to follow other people’s plan and definitely don’t want to be pressured to have baby.

When I got married last year, I thought the pressure of having a baby will come from my parents and his parents. But amazingly other than his grandfather, no one else has nagged me about not being pregnant yet. We had told both our families that we have a plan and they are happy for us to follow the plan and have babies when we decide to. But we are getting more pressure from our friends and only from those friends who are already pregnant or have a baby.

I’d love to be a mum one day. I believe that motherhood is a wonderful experience but at the same time I want to be well prepared before we have a baby.

Right now I just want to be with my husband and enjoy my life. And I will have a baby when I am ready. Please don’t tell me that our decision not to have a baby right now is wrong.

If you have a baby please do keep this in mind when you suggest someone else to have a baby. If you’re married and don’t have a baby yet I’m sure you know how I’m feeling 🙂

Transformation of my social life

There used to be time when I was young and carefree!!! 

I feel so old now and my social life may be to blame for that. 

Once upon a time not so long ago, I used to look forward to social gatherings and outings. It used to be all about us going out and having fun. All of us were young and most of us were single. Then slowly, everything started to change as one by one all my friends started to get married. 

Then my social events mostly included couples and their wedding parties followed by their anniversary parties and baby showers soon after. 

Now I am going to kid’s party so often. Being recently married, we are not thinking of kids yet but we are surrounded by them. Last Sunday one of my good friend’s daughter turned 3 and there was a BBQ party in a park. It was an afternoon event so when we reached the park, there were lots of kids there with their parents already starting the party. 

There were kids playing on the swings while a few were running around and shouting. Most of the men were around the BBQ while there were ladies who were sitting in the picnic area talking.

 After a brief hello to some people and wishing the little girl a happy birthday, I was left surrounded by lots of woman mostly married with kids while AS was chatting with some guys . 

While hanging out with the mums, I realise that most of the conversation revolved around babies so I had nothing to contribute. 

I used to say things like “ohoo. it is so hard once you have a baby” then every mum had the same answer for my comment “Not at all, it is so much pleasure than pain”. So I started saying “That is so great to have a baby, so much pleasure.” which was an even worst statement as they gave me a look that said, “You don’t know what you are talking about.” So I realised that both of the statements weren’t totally accurate so it was better to keep my mouth shut.

Back to the table, I heard them talking excitedly about how Jonny did in school sports or how Nina has started to walk now. They started amm… and aaaahaaaa…. about each others’ babies and the events surrounding them. All I could do was just smile and nod. 

I was remembering how BBQ used to be before but now that is my social life. I think I will fit in perfectly with all these women when I have my own baby but until then I don’t know how many functions and BBQs I will have to attend where all I will be doing is lots of nodding of my head. 

I absolutely love babies but I guess untill I am a mother myself, I won’t know what to say and when to ammmm.. and aaahhaaa… 

This weekend I have a baby shower, a one year’s birthday party and a wedding to attend. I am really hoping I will have at least a few people in these events who I can relate and talk to.