How do you all do it?

I am writing this blog in the hope that I am not alone in this situation. 

I do follow a few blogs and I have never read anything regarding this problem so I am not to sure if I am alone in this situation or if there are more people out there like me.  

I am talking about cooking everyday and cooking without complaining. Before I came to Australia, I hardly cooked as it was my mum or our maid doing all the cooking. So I never thought twice about how my food got on the table. Then before AS came to Australia, I had a life style where I hardly ate at home so cooking was never an issue. 

But after marriage, we are living by ourselves so we have to cook everyday. It is not feasible to eat out everyday.

Mostly on week days, after work I cook dinner and have either keep some for lunch the next day or make sandwich. There are weeks when I am very happy to cook so I will download recipes, go shopping and cook. But then there are days or a week sometimes when I don’t feel like cooking at all. I don’t want to even think about it and we end up ordering take away for dinner and have lunch outside. 

So I always have this rollercoaster of cooking cycles where sometime I am cooking for weeks continuously and then there are times when we won’t use the kitchen for days. 

I am lucky that my husband helps me in the kitchen with cutting and cleaning but I end up cooking dinners most of the time and he looks after breakfast. 

I don’t understand why we have to spend so much time to feed ourselves. I have seen people who cooked a variety of meal everyday and feed their family. I am sure they love cooking but can you really do it every day without complaining? 

My problem starts most of the time when I don’t know what to cook for dinner. As I don’t know what to cook, I won’t know what to buy and then that is the end. For a few months, we tried to decide on Saturday itself what we were going to have for lunch and dinner for the coming week.  According to that we did our shopping and I was a bit organised but still I had days when I was too tired to cook. All I wanted to do was go home and crash on the sofa in front of the TV. 

I am writing this post in the hope that people out there either will tell me I am normal and it does happen to them as well or tell me how they do it without going insane. How can it be ok to work the whole day and come back home and cook too. If anyone has a good solution for my problem, your suggestion will be highly appreciated. 

Sometimes I feel sorry for my husband that I whinge about small tasks like cooking and that he has the worst wife in the world . : ( 

8 responses to “How do you all do it?

  1. Hahahaa you are not alone. Me too!!!
    After my work if I come home I haven’t to desire to cook. Most I make a small snack.
    At the weekend sometimes I cook a right meal.
    When my Nepali Boyfriend was in germany with me, he was cooking so much.
    During I was at my job he was in the school for learning german language and he was earlyer at home then me, so he had cooking for us. Dal baat, Momos, Pizza………..he is so a great cooker.Whe ever I come in the kitchen to help him, he say no no go I make alone.
    Completly he cook alone. I m so happy then.
    OMG I will get a good hushband, or what do you say? Hahaha ( sorry I cant find the smily button).

  2. Thank you, Thank You, Thank You ladies, for your comments, suggestions and support. It feels so good to know that I am not the only one in this situation.
    @ Tash : First of all I am glad you wrote a long comment so don’t be sorry. It feels good to get ideas and suggestions from the person who went through the same problem before.
    It is great that A is into cooking. It does help a lot when both of you can cook and share the responsibilities. With my husband, he is learning to cook which is a great step. I appreciate that he cooks breakfast for me in weekends and trying to learn other meals as well. Yesterday he cooked lamp chops and salad for dinner so I am very happy.
    I like your idea of de-stressing during cooking. I used to play music sometimes but from now on, I will make sure music is always on when I am in the kitchen because I had noticed before when music is on, I wasn’t thinking about cooking at all but was singing along and thinking about something else.
    And definitely no more fancy cooking for weekdays. I am sure that is other major reason I stress. When I use recipes, 90% of the time , one or more ingredients are missing from my pantry so I have to make a quick stop at grocery which means dinner will be late by at least 30 minutes.

    @ nepali jiwan: I tried a couple of times to cook many dishes in weekend and ate that for rest of the week. Firstly I felt like I was cooking whole day on Saturdays and secondly it got boring as it was similar food everyday. I think it is just a big bummer that we have to eat 3 main meals a day. I wish we just have to eat once a day. It would have been so much easier 🙂

    @ally: I feel the same .We spend so much time shopping for grocery, cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. I never appreciated how my mum did it when I was home. Now I can appreciate her effort and feel bad that I used to whinge that the meal was not good enough.
    It is a great idea to cook quick meals on weekdays and have my fancy recipe only for weekends.
    Me and my husband are not big rice eater so I have been trying salmon, lamb or chicken with salads/veggie a lot. Then one day, my husband said he was sick of salmon. So now I have option of lamb or chicken or seafood which I throw together with salad and veggies.
    I do freeze few dishes occasionally but especially with chickens, I found they taste bit funny the next day. May be I am doing something not quite right with my recipes.
    I have never freeze dal but I am going to do from now onwards , it can be an easy meal with rice or roti. Momo are the best to freeze 🙂

    @Kay: Can I come and live with you ;). That is the very reason we are thinking to retire in Nepal in future. The help you get there is beyond comparison.

    • A is not into cooking at all.. hehe. And there is just a few, countable things that he can really make..and its not much into learning either.. but I guess when it’s a helping hand and your tired, it doesnt matter “what” is cooked as long as there’s food on the plate and its a joint effort 🙂

  3. You’re absolutely normal! In Canada, my fiance cooked twice a week and I cooked once a week–and we kept the food in the fridge and relied on the microwave to serve us warm food.We did laundry once every two days and swiffered/ vacumed / cleaned out the kitchen and bathroom once a week.

    In India, we have a maid who cuts fresh fruits for breakfast, makes me scrambled eggs every morning–packs my lunch and cooks dinner with fresh ingredients every day. She sweeps the floor / does the laundry / cleans the kitchen every day. A guy comes in to iron the clothes every day, and another guy comes in three times a week to clean the car by hand. It makes life a heck of a lot easier.

  4. Living in a western country when your both working full-time its always going to be difficult, I think everyone finds it hard. Its not just the cooking its the dreaded cleaning and the thing I really stuggle with is wasting food, I’m forever throwing away fresh meat and vegetables that ive bought and not gotten around to cooking which horrifies my Nepali DH.
    If I had to cook nepali food everynight after work I would’ve flung myself off my balcony long ago. Its just not possible to cook for your family the way your mothers did for you in Nepal. One of things my friends who have Nepali husbands often comment on when they first stay with their families both here in Australia and in Nepal is how much time and effort goes into preparing and eating food everyday, most Australian families only do that on the weekends or not at all and are perfectly happy eating frozen lasange or toast. Thats why the freezer section in the supermarket is so huge.
    My first piece of advice learn to cook some simple ‘western’ style meals, its a lot quicker. Tonight I cooked some lamb chops and salad and was able to have dinner prepared and on the table in 25 minutes. Also get into the habit of cooking double quantities and freezing, things like meat curries. dal and momos freeze really well that way all you need to do is cook some rice and maybe sag and your ready. Good luck.

  5. I’ve heard that some people cook all of their meals over the weekend, freeze them, and reheat them during the week, but I’ve never been motivated enough to do that. Cooking can be a real bummer when you’re exhausted from a long day at work. I feel your pain!

  6. Okay so for starters, you’re not the only one. And before I say anything else, M, *hugs* Im sure your a great wife! 🙂
    Well, when I was home, cooking was something I never thought about. It just happened. There was food on the table like you said, and it was just a hobby, to experiment, if I ever stepped into the kitchen. When I went out to university, Im not very food-a-holic so I can live on like soup and biscuits and cereal. (Yes, weird I know) Or I would grab something from outside, takeaway etc. I never liked cooking for just myself, it would be lying in the fridge forever. So I only cooked, when someone was willing to eat. Like my roomie.

    When I moved in with A, it got different. At first I enjoyed cooking. It made me feel all wife-like ( I could see myself being all like my mum) and then the excitement wore off, especially after work. We had a rotation, where me and A were in charge of dinner for one day and the next day it was the other pair. Well, during our turn, I was the one who always cooked! He did the dishes! And yes, what to cook was another pain. And I hated smelling of food, so I would rush home from work, straight into the kitchen to cook, and then for a shower and then I would crash. *snores*
    Somedays A would make dinner, coz I would be too tired and he offered to help. The solution is, instead of pre-plannining what to cook (i’ve tried it and it fails) and fancy stuff doesn’t work either especially during weekdays, stuff the fridge with veggies and meats (or whatever you eat) so that when you come home, you can just take out anything and cook it. You can stick to basic foods (depending on the cuisine you normally eat) like for example, nepali food? You can just pick out any vegetable and a non-vegetarian item.. cook it the basic way, potatoes, beans, cabbage, chicken etc. and cover up the weekdays while you leave the recipes and fancy cooking for the weekends. And try to have rotations between the two of you. Or better yet, (coz A never liked to be in the kitchen alone, and if Im cooking he would get his guitar and sing or something) you can just help each other, have some de-stressing music playing, or talk so that you don’t get frustrated on your own and cooking can be de-stressing too sometimes. You can also try making two dishes, one you and one him. If you’re home then its a different story. But if you’re both working, this helps. It also brings some bonding time in the kitchen and both of you start to appreciate each other’s efforts because obviously you’re both there, doing that.?!

    (Sorry, I wrote too much I think.. ) I hope this helps! 🙂

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