Tag Archives: dependent

From independent, confident strong women to dependent, needy wife

I am not sure when I crossed the bridge but I recently realised that I have turned from a strong, confident, independent woman into a very dependent, needy wife.

Before I got married, I used to do everything on my own. Most importantly I made my own decisions and went everywhere on my own. I travelled to the US on my own and I was just glad that I had so many friends there. I always went shopping on my own and made decisions on my own. I never felt the need for anyone to be there constantly for me and definitely not to make any decisions for me.

But these days, for even small decisions I need to ask AS for his opinion. Is it really normal or do I really need to pick up my act?

I call AS and ask things like,

“Do you want me to buy a red towel or a maroon one?”

“I really like this dress but should I buy it?”

“I am in the supermarket and I saw this new laundry powder, shall I buy it or buy our regular powder?”

“Do you want to eat lamb or chicken for dinner tonight?”

Some days I even ask him what should I eat for lunch as I can’t make a decision and I am already in front of food court or outside some restaurant.

Seriously, is this normal once you are married or I am becoming overly dependent on him?

It is not only me who has noticed this changed. When AS left from Kathmandu 2 weeks before me, I was on my own. In those 14 days I mentioned that I missed him to everyone. Really, I was telling my cousins and friends so often that they told me the same thing, I have become very dependent. I have really begun to rely on him in so many things that I can’t live even a week away from him.

For the last few years I have told myself that all these changes are because of love. I love him so much that I can’t imagine my life without him. And I thought it was normal to change and feel the way I do but today I feel like asking all of you.

Is this love or dependency?

Do you think I am on the right path?

Do I need to change and start becoming independent again?

Anyone there feels the same as way I do?

P.S: AS consults with me for all his decisions as well.

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