I am not sure when I crossed the bridge but I recently realised that I have turned from a strong, confident, independent woman into a very dependent, needy wife.
Before I got married, I used to do everything on my own. Most importantly I made my own decisions and went everywhere on my own. I travelled to the US on my own and I was just glad that I had so many friends there. I always went shopping on my own and made decisions on my own. I never felt the need for anyone to be there constantly for me and definitely not to make any decisions for me.
But these days, for even small decisions I need to ask AS for his opinion. Is it really normal or do I really need to pick up my act?
I call AS and ask things like,
“Do you want me to buy a red towel or a maroon one?”
“I really like this dress but should I buy it?”
“I am in the supermarket and I saw this new laundry powder, shall I buy it or buy our regular powder?”
“Do you want to eat lamb or chicken for dinner tonight?”
Some days I even ask him what should I eat for lunch as I can’t make a decision and I am already in front of food court or outside some restaurant.
Seriously, is this normal once you are married or I am becoming overly dependent on him?
It is not only me who has noticed this changed. When AS left from Kathmandu 2 weeks before me, I was on my own. In those 14 days I mentioned that I missed him to everyone. Really, I was telling my cousins and friends so often that they told me the same thing, I have become very dependent. I have really begun to rely on him in so many things that I can’t live even a week away from him.
For the last few years I have told myself that all these changes are because of love. I love him so much that I can’t imagine my life without him. And I thought it was normal to change and feel the way I do but today I feel like asking all of you.
Is this love or dependency?
Do you think I am on the right path?
Do I need to change and start becoming independent again?
Anyone there feels the same as way I do?
P.S: AS consults with me for all his decisions as well.
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|*Arranged marriage: My perspective||*Ta, Timi, Tapai and Hajoor||*With love, to my dear husband|