Tag Archives: in-laws

Update from Nepal Part 2

Meeting AS’s uncles and aunts

As I mentioned before, we had very little time after our wedding and so could not visit AS’s relatives; so during this trip we were invited for lunch or dinner at our relatives’ places.

dinner invitation (3)

One of the evenings we were invited to AS’s dad’s brother’s place and another day, at AS’s mom’s brother’s place.

dinner invitation (2)

Both the visit was fun and I got to spend some time with his relatives and of course it ended with a big feast of Nepali food. I am sure we both have put on lots of kilos on but as AS suggested we gonna ignore it while we are in Nepal as we can’t do anything about it. Everyone here thinks I am too skinny and it is their duty to fatten me up as much as possible.

We had yomari in one house which was filled with chaku (molasses) and other one with khuwa.

Lunch at my aunt’s place

One of the days, my aunt (dad’s sister) invited us along with my brother and SIL for lunch. It was fun as I got to meet my cousin’s baby again along with my other aunt and uncle as well.

dinner invitation (1)

We had jeri-swari as starter and it too ended with a big feast of Nepali dishes like goat curry, tofu curry, many vegetables, sukuti sandeko as well as laspsi ko achar.

dinner invitation (4)

Meeting AS’s niece

As I have been telling you that there are babies everywhere around me and one of the AS’s cousin’s also had a baby girl recently.

She is really cute with hazel coloured eye. It was nice to spend some time with her too.

AS niece

As my cousin, his cousin has also put on lots of weight post baby as she has to eat rice with ghee, chaku (molasses) four times a day.  Also they have someone coming to give oil massage to her and the baby in the sun every day.

Family get together

Long before we landed in Kathmandu, my MIL had decided to invite all the family (AS’s father’s side) for lunch at our place so finally we managed to pick a day where everyone was free. Family events are a bit of a pressure for a DIL as every action will be closely watched so I was a bit stressed but AS assured me that everything will go well and it did at the end.

The day before the event, my FIL and MIL did all the shopping and I and my MIL along with the helps started to prepare for the next day. There were lot to do as there was going to be 40+ people coming for lunch.

food

The morning of the get together, me and MIL were in the kitchen early and dishes like chana ko tarkari (Chickpea curry), cauliflower curry, goat curry, fish fried, mushroom curry, Saag (green leaves) along with dal (lentil), bhaat (rice) was ready before 11am. Also we had three different types of pickles ready to be served which were laspsi ko achar, mula (radish) ko achar and tomato achar.

By the time, the first guest arrived; all of us at home were ready to mingle. Everyone including AS’s grandparents came and the house was filled with buzzing noise in every room. Once everyone was settled then, we served lunch in batches.

family gettogether (3)

family gettogether (2)

After lunch everyone sat and talk until it was tea time and we served tea, cookies and pan fried tarul (yam).

family gettogether (5)

After a while everyone left, one by one. It was a nice afternoon with my new family.

family gettogether (1)

My brother leaving for Sydney

Almost 10 days ago, my brothers along with my SIL and nephew have left for Sydney. It was a very sad moment for my parents as they were so attached to their adorable grandson.

my brother leaving (1)

It is a custom in Nepal to put tika as blessings before anyone leaves home. So my mum prepared and put tika and sagun in the morning.

my brother leaving (2)

my brother leaving (4)

On the way out, my brother and SIL put coins on the pitcher on either side of the door. It is believed to bring good luck during the journey.

my brother leaving

At the airport, my mum couldn’t help it and she cried. It was really sad to see her so sad. I am hoping they will visit us in Oz soon.

Visit to Pokhara

I went on a road trip to one of the beautiful cities of Nepal, Pokhara, with AS and his parents. We had a great time there and I will sure post the details soon. For now I am sharing some amazing photos from there.

Pokhara (1)pokhara Pokhara (8) Pokhara (5) Pokhara (4) Pokhara (3) Pokhara (2)

Pokhara (6)

Pokhara (7)

AS leaving for Sydney

As I mentioned before, I have extended my holiday by 2 weeks but AS has no holiday left. So he left for Sydney 2 days ago.

AS leaving (2)

On the day of his flight, like my mum, my MIL gave tika and sagun to him. On the way out, he put coins on the pitcher on either side of the door.

AS leaving (3)

Time went too quick at the airport and before I knew it he was on the plane to Oz and I was there with my in-laws and dad coming back home.

AS leaving (1)

I was happy to stay in Kathmandu but without him I am kind of lost these days. I am so attached with him that I feel lonely among millions of people here.

One of the reasons I extended my holiday was to spend these two weeks with my family as the last 4 weeks I was staying at my new home with AS so I couldn’t spend a lot of time with my mum and dad. So now I am at my parents’ home with them. I am really happy about it and we have already spent lots of quality time together but at the same time in some corner of my heart, I wished AS was with me here.

He has already reached Sydney safely and I will be seeing him in 16 days.

Till my next post, take care everyone.

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What’s in the name (Surname)?

It has been exactly 90 days we have been married. 🙂

The day I announce my wedding at work, one of my colleague asked me “So you will change your surname, what’s it gonna be?” The question caught me off guard as I haven’t thought about it at all. Taking your husband’s name is the traditional option (especially in Nepal) but we never discuss it. I am sure both our family expect me to take it but I was in no rush. I have seen my friends change their surname in Facebook the day they got married (I am not sure if they have done legally too) or have used both surnames but I have always thought it can wait few years. Many women will say that their husbands/in-laws  wanted them to change their surname. So they did.

I am not against changing surname if you want to as I also want to do it before we have kids. I am planning to be MJS, mine surname followed by his.  My friend AS is the reason, I will defiantly do it before we have baby as I don’t want to go through the same path as hers.

AS decided not to change her surname when she married CJ (Nepali guy). When they have a baby girl, her mother in law came to visit her in hospital. While she was holding her new grand-daughter, she was shocked to see the tag called her, Baby S instead of Baby J. She made sure AS knows, she didn’t approve of that. But in the birth certificate, hospital wrote baby S as per mother’s surname as well. Because it was in birth certificate, they thought it will be easy to use the same surname in other official documents as well .Now the baby and mum have same surname and dad has different. It created lots of confusion in all the legal documents and I don’t want to go through that.

Back to my situation, I am planning to keep my surname until I can as I want to avoid the hassle of alerting everyone and going through all the paper work right now. Its not  easy to change the name on everything from your driver’s licence to your library card. I know I have to do it one day but mentally I am not ready right now. The most annoying change will be for my passport. I love my passport as it has so many stamps and visas I collected travelling over the years. It is like a story to me and has high sentimental value. Once I change my passport, I will lose all my memory.

All this question is coming right now because my in-laws made official document in Nepal(Relationship certificate) and they send us a copy in case we need it. In that document, they have my name as MS not MJ. My in-laws have never asked me to change it but I think they didn’t as by default in their mind, I am MS not MJ but I want to be MJS in future not MS. 

When I talk to AS about it, he thinks it is normal of his parents to think I am MS now as that in what happens in Nepal. I haven’t changed my Facebook name either (I know it is easy but …) I want to do it in my own pace and I hate it if anyone forces me to do it. He knows what I am planning and he is ok with that but of course he can’t control what his parents think.

Just want to put it out there” Am I allowed to wait until I am ready to change the surname or it is expected to change straight after marriage, especially in Nepali culture?”