‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Do You agree?

On 3rd of April,UK journalist, Samantha Brick wrote the following article and it has gone viral. If you haven’t read the article yet, please read it below.

When I first read the article, I thought that she came across as extremely arrogant for writing it. Then again I am a women and she will perhaps say that I am jealous of her.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder so I’m sure there are some people who find her attractive, especially her husband. Isn’t it nice that you have a man who admires you? (My husband also think I am the most beautiful woman in the world apart from Angelina Jolie and I think some Bollywood actress and I am sure there are a few others that he hasn’t told me yet :))

To me she looked like an average 40 year old who looks after herself. I am glad she does look after herself and thinks she is beautiful but there is a fine line between feeling ‘beautiful and positive’ and feeling ‘beautiful and arrogant’.

I think beauty is not only what one looks like from the outside but also from the inside. I will never judge a person based on just their outer beauty as I have met an average looking woman who had a very beautiful heart and some others who looked beautiful from the outside but are so full of  themselves and have an arrogant personality.

Outer beauty is transient and does not last a lifetime, as we age, our physical appearance ages too, and beauty gradually fades so it is really important to be beautiful from the inside as well. I think if you are beautiful from the inside, people will love you no matter how you look from the outside. I think the movie ‘Shallow Hal’ supports my thinking.

Here you go, judge for yourself and tell me what do you think about the article?

‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Why women hate me for being beautiful  (from daily mail uk)

 On a recent flight to New York, I was delighted when a stewardess came over and gave me a bottle of champagne. ‘This is from the captain — he wants to welcome you on board and hopes you have a great flight today,’ she explained. You’re probably thinking ‘what a lovely surprise’. But while it was lovely, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, not for me.

Throughout my adult life, I’ve regularly had bottles of bubbly or wine sent to my restaurant table by men I don’t know. Once, a well-dressed chap bought my train ticket when I was standing behind him in the queue, while there was another occasion when a charming gentleman paid my fare as I stepped out of a cab inParis.

Another time, as I was walking throughLondon’sPortobello Roadmarket, I was tapped on the shoulder and presented with a beautiful bunch of flowers. Even bar tenders frequently shoo my credit card away when I try to settle my bill.

And whenever I’ve asked what I’ve done to deserve such treatment, the donors of these gifts have always said the same thing: my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day.

While I’m no Elle Macpherson, I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.

If you’re a woman reading this, I’d hazard that you’ve already formed your own opinion about me — and it won’t be very flattering. For while many doors have been opened (literally) as a result of my looks, just as many have been metaphorically slammed in my face — and usually by my own sex.

I’m not smug and I’m no flirt, yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.

And it is not just jealous wives who have frozen me out of their lives. Insecure female bosses have also barred me from promotions at work.

And most poignantly of all, not one girlfriend has ever asked me to be her bridesmaid.

You’d think we women would applaud each other for taking pride in our appearances.

I work at mine — I don’t drink or smoke, I work out, even when I don’t feel like it, and very rarely succumb to chocolate. Unfortunately women find nothing more annoying than someone else being the most attractive girl in a room.

Take last week, out walking the dogs a neighbour passed by in her car. I waved — she blatantly blanked me. Yet this is someone whose sons have stayed at my house, and who has been welcomed into my home on countless occasions.

I approached a mutual friend and discreetly enquired if I’d made a faux pas. It seems the only crime I’ve committed is not leaving the house with a bag over my head. She doesn’t like me, I discovered, because she views me as a threat. The friend pointed out she is shorter, heavier and older than me.

And, according to our mutual friend, she is adamant that something could happen between her husband and me, ‘were the right circumstances in place’. Yet I’m happily married, and have been for the past four years.

This isn’t the first time such paranoia has gripped the women around me. In my early 20s, when I first started in television as a researcher, one female boss in her late 30s would regularly invite me over fordinnerafter a long day in the office.

I always accepted her invitation, as during office hours we got along famously. But one evening her partner was at home. We were all a couple of glasses of wine into the evening. Then he and I said we both liked the song we were listening to.

She laid into her bewildered partner for ‘fancying’ me, then turned on me, calling me unrepeatable names before ridiculing me for dying my hair and wearing lipstick. I declined any further invitations.

Therapist Marisa Peer, author of self-help guide Ultimate Confidence, says that women have always measured themselves against each other by their looks rather than achievements — and it can make the lives of the good-looking very difficult.

‘Many of my clients are models, yet people are always astounded when I explain they don’t have it easy,’ she says. If you are attractive other women think you lead a perfect life — which simply isn’t true.

‘They don’t realise you are just as vulnerable as they are. It’s hard when everyone resents you for your looks. Men think “what’s the point, she’s out of my league” and don’t ask you out. And women don’t want to hang out with someone more attractive than they are.’

I certainly found that out the hard way, particularly in the office.

One contract I accepted was blighted by a jealous female boss. It was the height of summer and I’d opted to wear knee length, cap-sleeved dresses. They were modest, yet pretty; more Kate Middleton than Katie Price.

But my boss pulled me into her office and informed me my dress style was distracting her male employees. I didn’t dare point out that there were other women in the office wearing similar attire.

Rather than argue, I worked out the rest of my contract wearing baggy, sombre-coloured trouser suits. It was clear that when you have a female boss, it’s best to let them shine, but when you have a male boss, it’s a different game: I have written in the Mail on how I have flirted to get ahead at work, something I’m sure many women do.

Women, however, are far more problematic. With one phenomenally tricky boss, I eventually managed to carve out a positive working relationship. But a year in, her attitude towards me changed; the deterioration began when she started to put on weight.

We were both employed by a big broadcasting company. One of our maleUKchiefs recommended I take the company’s global leadership course, which meant doors would have opened for me around the world.

All I needed were two personal recommendations to be eligible. As everyone in the office agreed I was good at my job, I didn’t think this would be a problem.

But while the male executive signed the paperwork without hesitation, my immediate boss refused to sign. When I asked her right-hand woman why, she pulled me to one side and explained that my boss was jealous of me.

Things between us rapidly deteriorated. Whenever I wore something new she’d sneer at me in front of other colleagues that she was the star, not me.

Six months later I handed in my notice. Privately she begged me to stay, blaming the nasty comments on her hormones. She was in her early 40s and confided she was having marital problems. But by then I’d had enough.

I find that older women are the most hostile to beautiful women — perhaps because they feel their own bloom fading. Because my husband is ten years older than me, his social circle is that bit older too.

As a Frenchman, he takes great pride in hearing other men declare that I’m a beautiful woman and always tells me to laugh off bitchy comments from other women.

Yet I dread the inevitable sarky comments. ‘Here she comes. We’re in the village hall yet Sam’s dressed for the Albert Hall,’ was one I recently overheard. As a result I finddinnerparties and social gatherings fraught and if I can’t wriggle out of them, then often dress down in jeans and a demure, albeit pretty, top.

But even these ploys don’t always work. Take last summer and a birthday party I attended with my husband. At one point the host, who was celebrating his 50th, decided he wanted a photo with all the women guests. Positioning us, the photographer suggested I stand immediately to his right for the shot.

Another woman I barely knew pushed me out of the way, shouting it wasn’t fair on all the other women if I was dominating the snap. I was devastated and burst into tears. On my own in the loos one woman privately consoled me — well out of ear-shot of her girlfriends.

So now I’m 41 and probably one of very few women entering her fifth decade welcoming the decline of my looks. I can’t wait for the wrinkles and the grey hair that will help me blend into the background.

Perhaps then the sisterhood will finally stop judging me so harshly on what I look like, and instead accept me for who I am.

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12 responses to “‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Do You agree?

  1. Pingback: In defense of Samantha Brick «

  2. Well, she does have a point though. I mean, judgements aside, this is actually an existing issue in society. Here’s another interesting read, (http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/apr/04/samantha-brick-hated-good-looks ) Hilarious, but also exposes a point…. “I’ve dug down and exposed an issue very few gorgeous men are prepared to talk about. And I intend to keep right on digging. After all, your hatred only proves my point.”

  3. Thank you all for the comments and likes 🙂

  4. I seriously started laughing while reading the article. The woman seems so focused on her physical appearance. She is okay looking, and if she confident about her looks, that’s great. But thinking that people treat her unfairly because she is oh-so-good looking seems kinda immature. She kinda reminded me of a friend of mine who thinks every guy is head-over-heels in love her and wants to marry her when the guys are just acting friendly. She thinks that almost everyone is jealous (which they are not).

  5. Gosh… amazing! She looks ‘OK’ … no more, no less. Seems like an awfully inflated view of herself… and I am by no means jealous… I don’t see anything nor did I read anything that would make me jealous. I certainly believe all women can be beautiful. But to focus on that only, especially when you really don’t have it like that, is a total waste of everyone’s energies. Inner issues for sure.

  6. Isn’t it amazing that the very way peoplle treat you, that would make you think that they think you’re beautiful, is the same way they would react if they felt you were simply arrogant and/or easy…

  7. I couldn’t agree more… with you all the way. I can’t believe she tossed this out in public media, but… maybe it will serve as a wake up call people generally like you or not based on how you act.

  8. Thanks for posting the article. I hadnt read it but heard the comments she made on one TV show.
    Gee whizz, the article was worse than I expected. Any woman who feels the need to brag about all the attention she gets from other men certainly has inner issues.
    ‘I have written in the Mail on how I have flirted to get ahead at work…’ errr, and you wonder why women see you as threat? I think the answer to all this is in that one statement.

  9. “Beauty: It’s what you love.” – Yoko Ono

  10. I LOLed when I saw her photo, especially the first one. Woe is me for being so pretty !

    Oh well.

  11. Yes, I read this article and started laughing. I agree, to me she looks like she is an average looking female, but sadly with an over inflated ego. You are beauty lasts only for some years but how we touch people’s lives that can leave an immortal impression.

  12. Thanks for sharing this article, I hadn’t read it. I totally agree with you, this woman is just a normal person who looks after herself, nothing special. I do think she has quite the opinion of herself, no beauty coming from the inside only conceit!

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