Missing my parents

People who have family close to them don’t often realise how lucky they are.I have seen my friends getting annoyed by the frequent calls from their mother. I have also seen lots of the children complaining a lot when their parents want to get involved in their life. They want to make their own decisions and don’t like their parents asking any questions about their decisions.

I work with lots of mums who feel hurt when they find out some major events of their kids’ life from someone else or at the last-minute. It makes them feel that their kids don’t care much about them. So while making their decision the kids didn’t even bother to call them to share the news or events.

When I see and hear this, I want to shake the kids and ask them to appreciate what they have. They are so lucky to see their parents so frequently and have them so close to them.

I left Nepal when I was a teenager so I missed out on spending lots of time with my parents. I was not there when they needed me and they were always far when I needed them. I always talked to them at least once a week but still those few hours of talk seems so less if you think about it . And I only saw them once a year or not even that sometimes.

I love them a lot and want them to be close to me. We even talked about them coming to Australia to live here. But they didn’t want to come as they have their own life in Nepal. They are independent and do what they want when they live there. Also they work there and that keeps them busy. I tried my best to visit them often but due to work and financial constraints I couldn’t go as often as I liked.

I tried my best to be there for my parents in every way possible. I know they are proud of me and everyone around them tells me how much they miss me and how much they love me. Actually, I know that without having to hear it from anyone. They have sacrificed a lot for me and I will be forever indebted to them. I always tried my best to make them happy in whatever way I can even when I am far away from them.

Every time I go to Nepal, I take them on a holiday and we spend all the time together. That is one of the best times of my life as both my parents are close to me. During these holidays our talks have bonded us a lot closer as we talked and shared lots of thing. If we don’t go on a holiday, both of them would go to work so we wouldn’t have much time to spend with each other.

Being selfish, I miss my mum a lot every time I get sick. I can’t tell exactly what but having her around when I am sick really calmed me down. My poor husband doesn’t know what to do when I get sick as I keep on telling him I want my mum.

I also miss my parents a lot when I go to the shopping malls, or to in the city when I see people with their parents. Father’s day and mother’s days are the worst as it reminds me how far we are. I feel like I am missing big part of my life and have always thought of going to Nepal and spending a year or so with them. I tried to do that in 2009. I went home and told them I will be there for at least 6 months before I go back to Australia.

Don’t know fortunately or unfortunately, I got a job offer for a job I wanted after 4 weeks of me being there. They wanted to set up an interview but as I was in Nepal, I email them back saying I can’t come for the interview. They emailed me offering to conduct a phone interview. The phone interview went ok and the company wanted to do a 2^nd interview in person. I was not mentally ready to come back for an interview for a job which I may or may not get so I was reluctant to make the decision. My parents convinced me to go and give the interview saying I can come back again and stay longer if I did not get the job. So I was back in Sydney for the interview. I got the job and I am happy about it but I feel like I missed the chance of staying with my parents.

Now I am married, so every time I go back to Nepal I need to divide my time between my parents’ home and my husband’s home and I am a bit sad about it. I like my new family but I miss my parents so much that I want to spend more time with them. I really want to be a good child for my parents and look after them but staying so far away from them, it is not always possible for me to be there for them when they need me the most.

My parents are doing well so far but slowly as they get older, they will need their children be around them more. I hope when that day comes, I can be near them to look after them.

Someone wise once said ‘Do what you can when someone is alive because after they die, you can’t do anything.’

Being far away from ones family has huge disadvantages. Recently, 3 of my friends had to deal with the loss of their mum or dad. They died all of a sudden (one in an accident) and my friends could do nothing. They didn’t even have proper a goodbye. Then, they had to travel by plane for 23 hours (including transit) before reaching home. That must be the worst 23 hours of their lives. Among those friends, one was already going to Nepal to get married and had her flight booked and everything. Just 2 days before she was supposed to leave, she got bad news of her mom’s death.

If your parents are near you, you are really lucky so do visit them often. If they are far away, at least call them often and tell them you love them. As they get older, they will cherish the time they spend with you. One day we will be parents ourselves and at that time we will want our kids to be around and visit us when possible. So we need to do our share and show our kids family values. Never forget that they had sacrificed a lot in their lives to make sure you could achieve your dreams so keep them close physically and closer in your heart.