What next?

I and hubby were talking about life in general. I am glad that we were both in similar space in our life right now. We said we both are happy with our life and where we are in life right now. We both are doing what we planned with our life.

10 years ago both of us had one goal, which was to finish our study and get a job. Then we had aim and we both worked toward that and it was a great when we finally reached there. Then it was a phase where we looked for a partner and with god’s blessing found each other. At that phase as well we had an aim and goal and we were working towards it. We reached the goal, got married and now are living happily together.

Last few years have been great together trying to fulfill our dreams like traveling the world and buying our dream home. Traveling will never be done for us as I still want to see Africa, South America and heaps of countries that are still on our list but still we are happy the way we have traveled so much. The house is here to stay so no more thinking about it now. We are mortgage owners now and hope one day soon we will be home owners as well but we can’t do a lot about it right now.

That made us think – “What next?” Life has been kind of same with job and home lately. Every time we talk about this with anyone, the only answer seems to be a BABY. As we were talking we also realised that it does seem to be the logical answer to our question. To have little people in our life who will be a part of us.

As I have mentioned many times before I love babies and my cute nephew is 18 months now and is as cute as ever but still I have doubts about myself if I can handle a child.

my nephew

I know when I have a baby, the baby will be a part of us and naturally I will love him/ her will all my hearts. But when do you really decided if you are going to have a baby. Is it normal to have a phase in every couple’s life where having a baby seems like the natural next step in life. Is it normal to have so many questions regarding the baby before even planning it?

To all of you with a child, I would love to know what made you decide to have a baby when you had yours.

For me, it seems like a scary decision to bring another human being into this world when you are so confused about it. I know almost all my friends have a baby now and they seemed to love it. Everyone I see has this motherly gene in them and they seem so natural with kids. Will I be the same or will I struggle?

As you guys know, both our parents are very far from us in Kathmandu, Nepal. They both will do their best to be with us when we have baby but for some reason, if they are not here, will that be very hard to manage on our own? I have heard so many mums going into depression when they are left alone with the baby for long, how to avoid it?

I know for some people these questions might look silly but definitely I want answers to this question before AS and I sit down to talk about our baby plan. Any suggestions will be surely of great help.

Thanks everyone.

M from nepaliaustralian


19 responses to “What next?

  1. well I am not a parents but from what i have seen/read, i think people will figure out as they go along 🙂 you have a loving husband, great family, and stable career – you guys will be awesome. And if needed please feel free to send me a ticket to Australia, I will come babysit the little ones 😛

  2. I don’t think there is ever a ‘right’ time to have a baby and the questions you ask are completely normal. Yes there are a lot of women who go into depression, but there is lots of help out there. Try and surround yourself with your friends and ask them for support. Hope the best for you whatever your decision !

  3. We are all different. I’ve seen too many in life believe their circumstances should be everyone’s circumstances. This is a very individual thing, based entirely on what is right for you and your hubby. Follow what your head and heart tell you, not what I or anyone else says.

  4. Its a great step and I feel you guys have been going the right direction and progressing with a plan which is great. I’m not a parent or even close to getting there but from the friends who’ve had babies, nobody knows what to do when they start off and no planning is enough planning for a child.. but the parent gene kicks in and it all falls into place. It is said to be a blessing to be able to bring a child into this world and nurture and care for it, I think it takes great courage to even decide to have a child! All the best di!!! I’m sure you and AS will prove to be great parents!

  5. Hi M,

    Though I’m not married and have kids 😉 even i wonder how one can have kids and face all the issues (read problems) associated with them!

    but I think being a woman, that motherely feeling is hidden somewhere deep in us, we only realise it when we have kids. So don’t worry about it! Go ahead!! 🙂 😀

  6. All of these are perfectly valid questions. I have them on my mind all the time. I find the following to be the truth more than anything else: the older, and better situated we get, the more we start having second thoughts about a baby. Having experienced travelling and being free to do whatever you want, it’s kind of hard deciding upon something that you know will, in some ways, restrict your life. On the other hand, having a baby as the symbol of love between you and your husband, must be a special feeling – like nothing else in the world. I would assume that at tate point all the material things take a second place, and you start wondering why you haven’t done it sooner.
    All of us women have doubts in our skills as a mother, but I believe it comes naturally once the baby is born. It sounds like you have a very supportive and loving husband and I am sure you will have no problem taking care of the baby with his help.

    • I share the same feeling and thought and sometimes these thoughts plant doubt in my mind. However, as everyone keep on saying mother instinct should come to me too as well if it has come to all the mothers in the world :).
      The more think about babies these days, the more I want to know so I know what I will be doing in future. Hats off to all the mums who are so great. I want to be one of them 🙂

  7. Wish you all the best in life…. 🙂

    Have a great time.

  8. Hi Di,

    You know me pretty well and I’m sure you and AS will be a great parents someday.For me, it’s hard at first but when you do it by heart..eating healthy foods, having regular check up and exercise, following the Dr advise you’ll be fine and the baby. And when you see your baby healthy and hold him/her in your arms I swear it’s a very life changing moment. And after that you’ll be staring and talking to them most of the time while they’re sleeping. Of course there are challenges like waking up in the middle of the night to feed the baby but mother instinct will come naturally. When you become a mother or a parent you become a superhero, there’ll be nothing in this World that you can’t do.. you have a great family and friends so I’m sure you and AS will be fine 🙂

    • I always think you are such a strong women and great mum. The courage you have in life has proved that if you put mind to anything, life will follow you there. Always be happy sis and take care. Thanks for everything and one day I wil definitely ask you tips about motherhood 🙂

  9. Not silly questions at all, M. Of course you will be different people once a little person comes along, but that’s not something to fear. I had NO idea how to be a father when my Audrey arrived and am still learning – but that’s ok. Like everything else in life, it’s a learning process. As long as we keep being open to learning, we’re ok.

    I think if you DIDN’T have a thousand questions about becoming parents, then you’d have reason to doubt how good of a mother you’d be. But…

    You and AS are smart, loving people, and I have no doubt you will be terrific parents. Keep being yourselves, and you’ll find that you have enough love for three instead of just two. Give that little person everything you have to give, but don’t forget to love each other.

    In the meantime… I suggest you get a cat or two! 🙂

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