I was reading the title of this post again and again. I couldn’t believe I was going to write about life lessons but I guess I could now as I have some life experience. I definitely want to write about what I have learned in my not very long life and share it here hoping it might be helpful to someone.
Having a husband like AS, who can be your therapist and psychiatrist is a great plus point in life. He has always helped me a lot ,especially when I am in pain or in my weakness. There are lots of things he has taught me and one of the thing he has always encouraged me is to tell people what I feel and what is in my head.
I used to be a people person, trying hard to be friends, hard to be responsible in every relation I have like a daughter, sister, friend, cousin, SIL, DIL etc. However, most of the time, no one really saw my sacrifice to please them; actually in most case it went unnoticed. I didn’t even get a simple thank you instead I was taken for granted by the vary people who I was trying to please so hard.
The way I used to deal with it in the past was to just get sad and upset but never in front of the people who said or did something to get me upset. It used to make me feel down to the point I used to cry and make me doubt my every move. I even fought with AS when he tried his best to get me out of my emotion whirlpool.
It took hours and in some cases days to recover from those messes. On the other hand, the person who hurt me had no clue that I was upset let along care that they caused me pain.
So recently I adapted the rule “Say what you are thinking”.
Funny enough it worked so well for me because now I just let them know in kinder words that their action/word had hurt me. In most cases, they seemed to be surprise and say sorry. In others, they didn’t have a better come back so they just ignored it, but still getting my feeling out there was a big relief.
For me it was the best as I spent less time thinking about it as it is already resolved from my side and now I can use the same energy in something better and I am a happier person. I know it may not work every time but I am sticking to it as it has definitely lessen my pain and anguish.
Let me know if you agree with my views?
P.S. We are in Central coast for our easter break. Hope everyone is having a great Easter too. HAPPY EASTER !!!