In one of my post, one of the fellow blogger, asked me the question “When are you thinking of moving to Nepal again permanently? “Many people have asked me this question before and I too have asked myself the same question repeatedly.
If the question was “Are you thinking of moving to Nepal again permanently?” my answers will be definitely YES but I am not sure when.
Initially, I wanted to go there before I turned 40 because I was thinking I will have my life sorted out by then and will have good income to go and live in Nepal with my family. When I used to answer like that lots of people around me told me that things would change in the future and it seems they might have been right because now I am not sure when I will be going and I am sure having a baby and owning a house definitely makes a big difference.
Still, I want to retire there but it is not going to be anytime soon.
I left Nepal initially for study, but it has been more than a decade and in that time I have learned a lot, seen a lot and have done extensive traveling. I have seen many places, tasted different food, met different people and seen different life-styles. However, I remain proud of my roots and I visit Nepal as often as I can. I doubt that that would ever change.
Every time I plan a trip to Nepal, I feel happy thinking of the traditional food, friends to meet, movies to watch and travel.
The first time I visited Nepal my friends were busy and so I really did not get much time to spend with them. Of course, they had their life in Nepal and they couldn’t just drop everything for me just because I was on holiday. I got sick with diarrhoea and vomiting. Three months in Nepal went by so quickly just going to relatives’ homes and a bit of travel.
Since them every time I have been there, the situation was similar or worse because most of my friends were married by then and some even had kids which meant they had lots of responsibilities in their day-to-day life to make time to meet me or entertainment me.
Then I got married and things changed completely because now I had two families to spend time with so I had even less free time for other stuffs like catching up with friends. Every time I visit Nepal, the reality of living in Nepal forever seems harder and harder as things are completely different from what I imagine in my head.
Now we have a mortgage as well which means we are not going anywhere until it is all paid off. So I am sure I will not be moving back to Nepal in my 40s for sure but I am still hoping to retire there. When that will really happen, only time will tell but I definitely want to.
I still have a dream of building our own all Nepali style house with carved wooden doors and windows. I still want a garden with Dhunge Dhara (stone water tap) and lovely view. I still want to wake up to the sound of temple bells . I still want to live in a place where I am not asked “Where are you from?” every day. I still want our kids to know our culture and traditions and be proud of it.
Hope this dream will come true one day.
Please share your story about your decisions of making another country your permanent home. What caused your decision and How did your decision affect you?
Take care ,
M from nepaliaustralian
touching story, thank you for sharing. I left my home town Jumla when I was 16 and hardly went back, stayed in Kathmandu for few years then went to Pokhara then back to Kathmandu. Since 2002 I’ve been living in the UK, got married and have two lovely daughters, a house that 50% belongs to the bank and 50% to my family. We both have stable and more than average public sector jobs which need us to set up our alarm clock 6am everyday. Girls are already in school and first one is likely to start a very good(as per local standards in London) selective school next year where she was first 200 hundred kids out of 5500. We have got a nanny who is just like a granny for our daughters. I drive a car that many in Nepal can only dream of(they are cheap here anyway) and have holidays every year.
With this rosy picture, I’m not happy at all. I miss being in Nepal. I miss being in Jumla where people knew me in thousands. We still need to make a monthly plan for our work and child care. We always long for nice weekend. Life seems to have become more and more mechanized. To maintain the life that we have got used to, we both need to carry on working. So there is less time for the family. I can see ourselves doing this for next 20 years and then when we retired and go to Nepal, I know we will be too old to enjoy life. We will have enough savings and pension but no strength to climb mountain and cycle hills and contribute towards making Nepal a better place to live.
So don’t know, should I sell my house and with the money go back to Nepal or follow the mechanized routine for next 20 years and live daughters here and go back to Nepal as an old and frail man?
Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my blog Chandra. Whichever direction you choose, I wish you all the best. I definitely understand your situation and with kids on board for us in future , I am sure it will be one of the hardest decision one has to make. But at the same time whichever path you choose, try to use the life. Life is very short to regret on your past and worry about future. Take care..
I was very touched by your comment. I was in the same boat until last year. I am an Australian living in Australia for 10 years now. In this ten years time I have established myself and have a stable Federal Government job with awesome benefits. I came here when I was 18 and now 28.
I made a big decision last year, to move back to Nepal permanently within the next five years. I was very very liberated by this decision. But I can tell you, this decision was not easy. I don’t have a family yet so it’s just me and my husband. There were a lot of things to plan, like when will we pay off our apartment, when do we have kids, what school will our kids go to & what are we going to do in terms of career when we go back. Believe me if you address these problems step by step it will be a lot easier. If your kid’s education is holding you back, believe me I went to a top School in Kathmandu and I now work in the biggest government Department in Australia in a highly analytical role. I consider myself no less than my Australian colleagues who went to top schools in Australia. There are plenty of progressive schools in Kathmandu. The biggest reason behind my decision to move back is that I want to contribute to the growth of my country. I strongly feel that Nepal needs me, my expertise & qualified people. When I go to work here everyday, nothing really changes. If I can bring even a small change in Nepal, I would consider myself lucky. I have also started my Masters degree in development studies since last year. Every step that I am taking now is leading me to Nepal.
To answer your question, please don’t wait until you are an old and frail man. Nepal is a beautiful country with beautiful people. She is rich in culture and possesses amazing biodiversity. There is so much to see and soo much to live.
Great idea, I used to think ditto regarding moving back to my country . However. We are planning our first baby next year. It will be so unfair to our children as Australia will be their country and their friends and life will be here . Quality of life and education for them will be so different . It will be so selfish of us to move back just because we have already experienced almost everything we wanted . We can’t have a cake and eat it too!
When we m ve I am not expecting our kids to move back with us. I think they will be old enough to live here on their own and we could retire the way we want. I absolute agree that I will never expect my kids to give up Australian way of life for us. I hope one day we definitely go to Nepal and they can come and visit us whenever they like. 🙂
You’ll know when.
I hope so…
And this post reminds me of the decision i took last year. I had practically packed my bags and decided to leave Bangalore for good last July. After completing my Masters , all i wanted was a Job. Since living in Bangalore cost you fortune ( untill you get a stable good paying job) , i left my first job and gave a thought to go back to Nepal and work there instead. But things were very different there. I did find jobs but they would pay me very little not even one third of what i was earning as a freshers in Bangalore. Transportation was another big headache to top it all was the pressure from the folks to get married! I would not mind working for less as a freshers but i expect to learn which i thought was lacking there. Language was another big hurdle as i m brought up in Nagaland i speak a very unusual Nepali, Thats what my relatives and cousin back in Nepal thinks 😛 . Companies in Nepal expected candidates who could speak fluent Nepali and mine to be true is a mixture of Hindi, english and Nagamese ( local language of Nagaland, India). And so, here m back to Bangalore again ! But i hope i’ll soon gain some experience and return back to start something on my own 🙂
I have to say you are such a brave soul to try so many different things and just pack and move. I am glad that you at least did what you wanted while I am still on my ifs and buts. Good luck and have fun while you are at it.
The longer I live in India, the more it feels like we’re going to settle here permanently. I think I’m slowly coming to terms with that. We’re moving out of Delhi and going to my husband’s home town of Hyderabad this year and I’m super excited (love, LOVE Hyderabad).
Even if we don’t permanently settle in India, we’ll probably either settle in the US or Canada so Nepal’s just not in the cards for me.
I can see that you have so many choices and it must be even harder decision. I am glad you are loving India. Wish you all the luck.
This is a question on my mind everyday. I wanted to see the world but never wished to settle abroad. People here tell me I’ll quickly snap out of my desire to return to Nepal, which I know I won’t. It was a good surprise that you have this wish somewhere in your heart too. I understand it will get more difficult with mortgage and children, because for them, Nepal won’t be home like it is for us. We can’t guarantee they will like it there.
Your dream house is beautiful. 🙂 Missing the “chowks” around mangalbazaar.
I have been living here more than a decade and I still feel that so I am sure your feeling will not go anywhere anytime soon. Keep that in mind all the time and one day when you can you could go. I wish my dream will come true and you can come and visit me . We will have a nice of cuppa in front of the dhunge dhara and enjoy the view 🙂
such a thought provoking topic. my relatives ask me this all the time..Nepal is nice and all that but i havent yet started thinking about moving there,,I enjoy short visits though.
I love short visits to Nepal as well as it will refresh your memory but moving permanently will require lots of scarifies and patience . I am sure I am not ready right now.
I know how it feels like, being away from home, from friends, from relatives and being away from people who speak our language. But it’s a real tough call.
I would have written on the same lines a few months back, I had this question always in my mind, “when I would permanently move to my native, Kerala, from the city I used to work and live, Bangalore.
For me, the desire was so strong that, I finally jumped the gun and took that call, to go back, and then see how things work out…
Now I feel relaxed, and things are going good, though I am not earning even a fraction of what I used to…. that’s one trade off 🙂
Can I thank you for writing this? I can so relate to this feeling 🙂
Although I was raised in the capital city, even now I call my native place “home” and that’s where I want to go when I think of returning, or even somewhere rural but not the main city. It’s better to return while we can serve, if we really want to make a difference. May everyone get the peace you have found, wherever roads might take them.
I do understand your sentiment but I see it is not goona be easy life in Nepal. Every time I visit I could see all the problems that it makes me think about it more. Lets see what future holds for me.
You are lucky that you could do that . In my case I have to consider too many things before even thinking about it. I am sure I will do that one day but not anytime soon but I am very happy for you. Its the happiness that count at the end 🙂
You are absolutely right.
Thank you so much for the wishes 🙂
Have a nice weekend 🙂
This is interesting as M is in a similar situation. He will not entertain the idea of staying in the UK for any longer than he has too. He really wants to go back to Nepal and work and wants to make a difference He says that if we stay in the UK we will get to comfortable with life and there will be little point in going back to Nepal. It makes me a little sad that I will not be living in my home country for the rest of my life, so I have quite the opposite view. Thank you for posting such a thought provoking piece. I wish you all the best with your decisions on where you will be living 🙂
It is such a hard decision since there are so many things to consider. Good luck with you and M and enjoy your time in Nepal.