Boy vs girl

If you have not read my last post, you might have missed out on the news that I am having a baby girl soon. It is one of the most exciting news in my life. When you are pregnant, the most important thing on your mind, of course, is having a healthy baby. Anyone who is given that gift is blessed beyond belief. I definitely did not take that for granted and felt hugely lucky to be having a baby.

But at the same time, every time, I think about babies I was secretly hoping for my first one to be a daughter. I would have been perfectly fine with a healthy baby boy as well but a baby girl is definitely my dream come true.  I had always imagined having a daughter and doing all those fun girly things together and have the same bond with my daughter that I shared with my mum.

When we found out the gender of the baby, both AS and I were over the moon. Someone tiny is joining us to complete us and we are going to have our own family. Our parents were happy as well. My MIL law has 3 boys so it is going to be their first grandchild and they are happy that it’s a girl.

In my family, my parents already have a grandson so having a grand daughter was great news for them as well.

In Sydney, I have a few cousins and amazingly enough I have 4 nephews in total and no nieces which means I won’t be surprised if my little gal loves cars more than dolls as she will be hanging around with many boys.

But I want to share the reactions of some people (strangers) regarding this topic.

As I mentioned before, one of the indulgence I have these days is having a massage and I was getting my normal massage one day when the girl giving me the massage started a conversation.

Her: “You are looking good for a pregnant woman. Not too much weight in other places, only on the tummy.”

Me: “Thank you. I still feel big and tired these days.”

Her: “Do not worry you are not. Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Me: “Yes it’s a girl and I am so excited.”

You should have been in the room to see her reaction. She was totaly put off that it’s a girl, and not a boy. I think because she is from China, and it is a cultural thing in Asia to think that having I baby boy is better than having a girl.

Her: “Ohooo, don’t you wish it was a boy?”

Me: “No I always wanted a girl and so I’m happy that it is a girl.”

Her: “When I am pregnant one day, I want a boy. I don’t like girls.”

I was really shocked by her answer but I didn’t continue the conversation as I saw no point in it but she made me think for sure. I was thinking how my own reaction would be if I were having a boy.

I am sure I would be fine. There is a different joy having a boy and different for a girl. If we decide to have another baby in the future, I wish the baby to be a boy so we can have a father son / mother son relationship as well. But wishing for one or another and not wanting one, I think is definitely wrong.

I know in most Asian country, including Nepal, many people prefer boy over girl. They think that one day , the girl will be married and will belong to another family while a boy will be yours for lifetime and help your family tree move forward.

I was shocked when I read the following report recently.

“200 million girls at present abandoned, aborted or killed mainly because of their gender. The countries which are mostly responsible for such criminal acts are China and India. The number of girls killed by these champion nations (population-wise) is more than the number of girls born in the U.S. annually.

In India, an abortion takes place every minute simply because it is a girl. Many of those who manage to survive such as planned abortions end up getting killed while they are infants. The Invisible Girl Project in India reflects that some areas that practice female infanticide widely has 75 percent higher rate of female mortality than male ones. Presently, India has 37 million more men than women..

China, on the other hand, has maintained a one-child policy for years. The country has ended up with 18 million more men than women at present. According to All Girls Allowed, “gendercide” is a widespread practice in the country where there is a “systematic extermination of a particular gender.“

I know it is a different thing to wish for a boy or a girl when you are pregnant but is it inhumane to kill the child even before they are born. How can parents to be make such cruel decision?

Even though my baby is still in my tummy, I worry constantly about her welfare and I am worried all the time if I am doing any harm to her unknowingly but there are people out there who are ready to take the life of the baby just because she is a girl.

I think for the very reason in Nepal when you go for a scan, it is illegal for the doctor to tell the parents to be if the baby is a boy or a girl.

In Australia, you can choose to know the sex of the baby and we found out in our 18 week scan. For me and AS, it was a good decision as I wanted to some preparation done beforehand. But I have many friends who wanted a surprise on the day and it went well for them too.

When you think of having children, do you ever secretly hope for a boy or a girl? Even though people don’t really talk about it, I actually think it’s really common to wish for one or the other.

What do you think about gender discrimination in the 21^st century?

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO