I had read somewhere that bad moments don’t make bad mammas but now I have my doubts.
As a new mum, I doubt myself lots of times; I am not sure whether I am the doing right things; whether I am taking care of my baby properly, whether my way of feeding is correct, whether I am changing her correctly and similarly there are many more doubts in my head when I am looking after my daughter. I worry that what I am doing will affect her later in her life.
Most of the time when Chhori smiles or holds onto me it makes me feel great and I forget about all the doubts. But then something happens that breaks that momentary illusion and make me again thing that I’m not as good a mum as I should be and that is one of the worst feelings to have.
A few weeks ago, I was home with my mum as usual. We were in our living room, mum was watching a movie and I was checking something on the laptop and Chhori was just lying on the ottoman. This was typical of my afternoons. The ottoman was next to me and from time to time I was talking to and playing with Chhori.
Then suddenly from the corner of my eyes I saw Chhori sliding off the ottoman and she fell on the carpeted floor even as I rushed to pick her up. It felt as if my heart leapt out of my body at that moment. The next second she started crying loudly like never before.
That was the first time Chhori rolled onto her side and we were not expecting it at all. I didn’t know what to do. I just tried to console her and checked her to make sure she was not hurt. I was almost crying myself and my mum was trying to help me calm Chhori down.
To make sure that she calmed down I fed her for a few minutes until she stopped crying. After that my mum took Chhori from me and felt her head, hands, legs to see if Chhori would cry when any specific part of the body was felt. Thankfully Chhori did not cry and we hoped that nothing was injured In that mean time I called our local GP to take her there but as it was Friday and our normal GP was fully booked and suggested I take the baby to emergency instead.
I called AS and told him what happened. I assured him that there was no injury so he wouldn’t freak out. But I still asked him to meet me at the hospital just in case.
My mother and I took Chhori to the emergency and waited for the doctor. By then Chhori was already her normal self, smiling and looking about with interest. I was kind of sure she was alright but still wanted to be 100% sure.
After a few minutes wait, it was our turn. The doctor did some normal check and told us that she was OK. He also told me that it is normal for kids to fall and they have many cases like that every day. He assured me that I am a good mum and accidents do happen sometimes so not to feel as if I let Chhori down.
He still wanted us to remain at the hospital for 4 hours for observation. He wanted to make sure that there was no brain injury from the fall. It was the longest 4 hours of my life as I was worried. I was praying that everything was OK with Chhori. She looked happy and was playing with her daddy and grandma.
Finally the 4 hours were over and Chhori was officially fine. She got the all clear from the doctor. We were all so relieved.
It was one of the scariest experiences I have had after having Chhori. I hope not to have to visit the emergency department ever with Chhori.
I am sure I am not the only mum who has been in such situations so please share your story and make me feel a bit better.
Hope you had a great weekend and take care, everyone.
M from nepaliaustralian
Oh you poor thing. It’s very scary when these events happen. It probably won’t be the last no matter how careful you think you have been. My son fell through his high chair when he was about 7 months old and had a concussion. Somehow the strap had come undone. He was screaming and before I knew it he was vomiting and slowly going in and out of consciousness. He spent the day in the emergency department under supervision until he too got the all clear to go home. Back in those days there wasn’t a huge range of high chairs to choose from and mine wasn’t all that great. Anyway, I kept him in my bed that night I barely slept a wink. I was so scared he would stop breathing. After a few days he was back to his normal self. I cursed myself for weeks later as I kept going over and over whether or not I had fastened the strap properly. He’s now a 6ft3 strong 23 yr old man. Don’t beat yourself up M, your a beautiful person as is As and therefore I know your great parents. The word accident and kids go together very well! Really happy Chhori is okay. Love to you all, Paula xx
Thank you so much for making me feel better…I guess I will get used to it in future but the first one is scary..Thank you so much for your kind words…
Absolutely! Love to you x
I think all moms have those times when we wonder if we are doing the right things. I hope and pray that everything in your relationship with your daughter will always be good and rewarding.
Thank you so much. I don’t want Chhori to grow up fast 🙂
Oh goodness – our children fell so often it’s a miracle they survived! The worst was when my son was just toddling and he fell all the way down some concrete steps in Bangladesh. We were very worried but also realised he can bounce a bit!
Babies need protecting of course but they are also very relaxed so falls don’t do them as much damage as it looks to us. I remember waking up one night to see my wife leap out of bed and go smack in to the wall! She hurt her nose but not badly.
The reason was that she was dreaming that our daughter was on the other side of the room and was falling. In her dream she got up to catch her but her body made her try in reality! It goes to show how often our children fell and how strong the maternal instinct is 🙂
Thank you so much for your kind words. I feel so better after reading your experience. As Chhori is getting older, I am becoming more used to her accidents. First few was so scary but not I am not too fuss when she scratch herself sometimes.
They happen. Nothing you can do about it but do your best 🙂
I had such moments too M. Abhi fell from bed one night and I was terrified for a week. But don’t worry. Soon, you will be the master expert. You will see kids running around, bumping heads, falling off sofas and you will just see that as them having fun. 🙂
Do be careful with her as much as you can. But most importantly, know that these things will happen and none of these makes you a bad mum. Hugs.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Good to know I am not alone. I know this is not the only fall Chhori goona have and I hope i will get better with time to deal with it 🙂
Omg that was really scary to read. Thank God she was all fine 🙂 Once my mom was cooking while holding me (as I was too clingy), she accidentally brought a very hot kadai close to me and had burnt my thigh. Even today, she would have tears while narrating this story. As far as I am concerned, I dont remember anything and even then, she is the bestest mom 🙂 I hope that made you feel better 🙂
Ohoo poor you and your mum…I can’t imagine the horror she went through. I am so glad you are OK.And yes you made me feel better, thanks…
I think it is very normaly to be worried about the own children. The first times when our son got a bit sick or behaved differently my wife always called immediately the doctor but they usually calmed her down as it was really nothing.
He also fell a few times from the bed and that was very scary but thankfuly never anything happened (it was when he started with forward pushing motions in his first few months)
I know it is Chhori’s first of many falls but as a new mum it was one of the scariest moment of my life…
We had the same when he fell down from our bed the first time. My wife was checking everything on him but in the end everything is fine. Whatever happens to the child the first time is very scary, especially for the mother 🙂
We all have a story like this, a fall, being near water, the anxiety of a mother, I remember those years when I realised I could never read a book ever again, such is the vigilence required of a mother around small children. And then suddenly they are pre-teen and the worries transform into something else altogether. Bonne Courage my friend, you are a wonderful mother and she is a beautiful strong girl.
Thank you so much Claire..I hope to enjoy every minute before Chhori becomes a teenager…
oh, you poor thing – how stressful for you to go through this. You did the right thing but remember – most mums have constant moments of doubt! The fact you care means you are doing great.
Thank you so much for your kind words 🙂
I am glad Chorri is safe …take care….
Thanks Alisha 🙂
i have not seen you for a while but, boy oh boy, you have one cute kid…
Thank you so much Rajiv 🙂
Something similar happened with my sister and nephew and I remember she choked with tears while recounting that incident to me, so I kind of know what you went through. Good thing chhori is hale and hearty. BTW that first pic just melted my heart. She looks so adorable. May God bless this little cute girl😘
Thank you so such Aarya. Looks like every mum has one of these story to tell…
I can imagine your worry! Before I had our baby, I was holding a friend’s baby on my lap and she quickly arched and I came close enough to dropping her on her head. After, I refused to touch her again that evening. It left me sweating and beside myself with shame, imagining the awful things that might have happened.
With our baby, hubby and I were practicing tummy time when baby was quite young. Our floor was hardwood with only a thin rug overtop. My hubby and I didn’t communicate well in transitioning babes and baby’s forehead smacked to the floor. The sound was horrific and my stomach sank. I thought I would throw up. The distance was only a few centimetres but the crying was awful. I immediately started sobbing too and sat on the couch breastfeeding and sobbing for more than half an hour while hubby tried to console me. We contacted my sister who was a nurse and eventually decided not to go to the hospital. I was eventually able to laugh about it (because what else can I do?) but I was filled with tremendous shame and doubt about my abilities to mother after that.
Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel good that I am not only one in this boat 🙂
My oldest daughter fell down all stairs to basement at 6 months old. I was babysitting a 5 year old boy named Mike and he was to close the door since I had arms full of laundry. Carrie was rolling and sometimes too earmy she was trying to stand up. I took her and boy to emergency room right away. I sat boy next to her and he held ice on her head.They did not see swelling or get too worried. They said babies fall without straightening their bodies out. They are so “relaxed” that they usually don’t break anything. I had to wake her up every 3 hours to check her eyes to see if the dilated the same. She was a very active girl and when she was 18 months old my ex husband (we were married for 5 more years, one other child a boy was born, too) was warching her at the slide and she turned around and fell down head first. We were running and I was yelling at him, so stressful! Anyway, a year after first fall and then she went rest of her life no broken bones or accidents. I was much more careful with rest of my children’s lives. None have broken anything 🙂 Thank God!
Sounds like Chhori just slid and not high spot but an ottoman. I am thankful nothing wrong and listen please dear one: You are an excellent, loving and wonderful mum or mommy 🙂
Thank you Robin for making me feel better 🙂