Tag Archives: Dreams Magazine

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

This article was published in DREAMS online magazine on 3rd December 2013.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

 

I have to start this post by stating that I am a normal girl with a healthy weight and BMI who loves to cook and eat healthy food most of the times.

However, I have days when I look at the mirror and don’t like what I see. I know I am not alone in this. There are times when all of us feel like we are not beautiful, our body is not normal, and basically have a bad day.

On good days, I think I have a good body which can be bettered with exercise. But on bad days, all I see is the flaws of my body. My muscles can be more toned, my face can be prettier, my stomach can be flatter, my hair can be better, my skin can be cleaner, and the list can go on forever. Basically, I want a supermodel body and flat stomach. I go on diets and workout hard for it. But the best part of this phase is that I wake up in a good mood, and so have a good day.

I am a mature woman, so I know the difference between reality and fantasy. Also, having a husband who thinks I am beautiful and attractive helps.

But all this made me wonder how girls these days are coping with the image issue. When I was growing up, I never wanted to be a Barbie or some hot supermodel. I never saw girls with super-hot body attractive, so I did not diet to look like them. Nor did I read any magazines that gave me body issue problems.

But kids these days have it very tough in this matter. They get ideas about what is a perfect body from a very young age from perfectly groomed role models with great bodies. The fairy-tale characters in children’s books, dolls, and cartoons are designed to be perfect looking, and so are everyone else from TV and magazines. No wonder so many children suffer from anorexia, bulimia and depression.

And then there are fads like “size 0 figure”, so that even girls as young as 10 think they don’t have a good body, and start dieting. Most of these kids are letting their body define who or what they are rather than their personality. They think that all thin people are happy with themselves, and they want to be one of them.

Then I look around to where these kids are inspired from. Just open any teen magazine, watch any movie or music video. What do you see? Skinny girls portrayed as hot. Look at fashion week, and it will be hard to see a model who has normal curves like everyday women. This is so sad to see.

Does that mean 95 percent of the population of the world who are not models are not normal and healthy? Did any of these organizers give a thought to why anorexia, bulimia and depression are on the rise among young people?

I always advocate that healthy eating habits with exercise is the best way to live life. 10 -12 years old kids are too young to worry about their looks and body. They should be running around in parks with their friends with no worries in their head. At 10,  I am sure I was eating as many chocolates as I could get my hands on, without worrying about anything in the world. Body image issues should be the last thing on their mind.

We definitely need more programs which teach young people to accept that bodies come in a variety of shapes and sizes. It is normal for the body to change weekly and monthly in weight and shape. They need to know that apart from looks, everyone has other positive qualities and we should focus on them.

If you are an adult and you have body image issues, do something about it instead of getting depressed. Decide how you wish to spend your time and energy. Do you want the pursuit of perfect image to occupy most of your time? Or would you rather enjoy the people and positive things in your life?

Look at yourself as a growing, changing human being and be realistic, you can’t get 20’s body in your 40’s.

Most important, be aware of your own weight prejudice. I have never met any women so far who is perfectly happy with how she looks. So don’t be too hard on yourself.

Simply be happy, eat healthy and exercise regularly, and teach younger ones the same values. Everything outside of you is merely a reflection of everything inside.

Hope everyone is having a great week.

Till next post, take care.

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Living in the west with values of the east

This article was published in DREAMS online magazine on 3rd October 2013.

dreams

When I was living in Nepal, I used to be annoyed and irritated by Nepali culture, tradition and values from time to time. Sometimes, I wished that I could run away from all that and live my life the way I wanted. And my wish was fulfilled when I left Nepal to come to Australia.

Having lived outside the country for more than decade now, I know how wrong my thoughts were. These days, I miss our culture, tradition, rituals and values that I used to ignore before. Not only do I miss it, I actually want to be a part of it and hope to pass it on to my kids and grand-kids one day, like my mother and grandmother did.

The festive season of Dashain and Tihar is here, and it is one of my favourite times of the year. This festive time has helped me connect with Nepal, Nepali culture and tradition. Before, I used to wish things could be as good in Australia as in Nepal, but that was just wishful thinking. So instead of being sad and depressed, this time I decided that we would celebrate the festivals with whatever we could.

With the motto, “If the mountain will not come to M, then M must go to the mountain”, we bring Nepali style Dashain and Tihar to Sydney. For the last few years, I have been having a lot of fun in Nepali festivals here.

For Dashain, I plant Jamara during Ghatasthapana, and it is ready for Tika day. During Asthami, Nawami and Dashami, we plan a Newari bhoj to mark the days.

Last year we had Kuchi Bhwey, a Newari bhoj consisting of Baji/Chiura(beaten/flattened rice), Chicken curry, Spinach, Methi kerau (fenugreek and peas), Thulo kerau (big peas), Golbheda achar (tomato pickle), Butan(meat fry), Aloo tama(potatoes with bamboo shoots), and Methi(fenugreek) salad on Asthami.

On Nawami, we followed the tradition and performed a worship of our car. Later we had Samay Baji, a Newari dish consisting of Baji/Chiura(beaten/flattened rice) , Haku Mushya (black soyabean), Chhwela (smoked meat), Puka-la (spicy roasted meat), Aalu achar (cold potato salad ), Bhuti (boiled beans with spices), Khyen (boiled egg), Panchkwa (bamboo shoot, potato, beans mixed curry), Wo or Bara (shallow fried pancakes made of black lentil), Lava-palu (ginger and garlic), Achar (pickle), Wauncha (green vegetables) and Aayla (Newari liquor).

On Vijaya Dashmi, we normally take a day off from work so we can have fun with our loved ones. It is always fun to be blessed by elders with red Tika and Jamara. Following Tika, there are a few days where we get invited for tika, and this normally concludes the celebration of Dashain.

After a few weeks, we celebrate Tihar in full swing as well. I know people overseas normally celebrate only Bhai Tika but I didn’t want to miss out on the other days. So I perform Kag Tihar, Kukkur Tihar, Laxmi Puja and Mha Puja as well.

I haven’t seen many crows around in Sydney, so I decided to print a photo of a crow to perform my puja with. I know it sounds a bit silly, but it helps me to celebrate the festival. I did the same during Kukur Puja, printed the photo of a dog that my parents have in Nepal. If you ever feel like celebrating Tihar in full swing, you may want to follow my ideas.

I love Laxmi Puja as it make me feel happy and there is so much to do. We start the evening by lighting fairy lights and candles. Then I perform Laxmi Puja to the best to my knowledge. I normally print out the Mandap and Laxmi’s footsteps so I can perform the puja. Living overseas, we have to make do with whatever we can rather than missing out in the belief that we can’t do it.

Following Laxmi Puja, we performed Mha Puja with my brother, cousins, and friends. Mha Puja is such a great way to come together and have fun in our Newar culture. For this puja too we used printed mandaps, which made it easy for us to set up the puja. Like in Nepal, we have Shagun (a traditional plate typically consisting of a boiled egg, smoked fish, a “bara”, haku chhoila”  and “aila”, which ends with “dhau”) and bless our body for good health.

And finally, there is the Bhai Tika, which is always a big deal for me. I have two brothers on whom I perform the Puja, and I wanted to make sure it is a great celebration. I and my cousin even learned how to make Sel Roti, so our celebration is a lot like Nepal’s. I prepare for Bhai Tika weeks in advance, making masala (pack of dry fruits & nuts) and buying fruits, snacks and clothes. I prepare Shagun on the day and bake cakes for puja as well. I am always happy to see my brothers enjoying the day with me, and blessing me with happiness and gifts.

Not only celebrating Dashain and Tihar, but we try to do whatever we can to be in touch with Nepalese tradition and culture. Recently, my nephew had his 6th birthday, and it was celebrated with yomari (a newari delicacy made of external covering of rice-flour and an inner content of treacle) mala like in Nepal. One of my nephews was born here in Australia, so we did his chatti and nwaran (naming ceremony) according to Hindu rituals. We celebrate Teej every year wearing red and eating yummy Nepalese cuisine. And whenever possible, we go to Nepal to celebrate milestones like marriage and pasni. We had a traditional Newari wedding which went for over a week, and my nephew had his pasni in Nepal with our relatives and friends.

Even though I don’t have kids of my own right now, I know that they are affected by many thing in life, but their strongest main values are learned from their parents, society and surrounding environment. I know that even in Nepal, with globalisation we are losing some of our traditional values fast, while we adopt easily imitable aspects of western culture. Nepal has a unique blend of culture and customs, and people travel millions of miles to learn and observe these in Nepal. It will be a shame for our kids not to know their own customs, traditions, and rituals.

I hope my effort in bringing our eastern culture to the west will help my kids and their kids to learn more about Nepal, Nepali culture, traditions, rituals and values, so that they know their root and can be proud of it. I have been away from Nepal for a long time, but I still cherish the values that I have learned, and I hope one day, our next generation will do the same.

Happy Dashain and Tihar to all readers. No matter where you are, enjoy it in full swing!!!!

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