I didn’t get married because I am weak

A while back when I was talking to one of my friends, she told me that people get married because they are weak. She said women who are weak and need someone to look after them get married and if you are not weak, there is no need for you to get married.

I have known this friend for over a decade and I have never seen her in a relationship and I realised why that day. But I disagree with her because I am not a weak woman. I didn’t get married because I need help; I am quite capable of looking after myself. I was living life my way for a long time. I got married because I fell in love with this amazing person, the one who understands me and loves me for who I am.

I am not an expert on love or marriage and I am not going to say he is my soul mate blah blah blah but I love him from my heart and that is all that matters to me right now. When we decided to get married, it seemed like the right thing to do as we were living in two different continents before that. But even if he had already been in Australia and we had to decide on marriage, I would not have decided against it.

I really believe that I and my husband are a perfect couple. We are like any other couple who have disagreement, who loves, who discuss, who argues but at the end makes up. We are like opposite poles as individuals but together are just perfect. We respect each other and enjoy each other’s company. He is not just my husband but my best friend first.

I would never be this happy if I was thinking like my friends and never gave relationships a chance to prove that it is worth our effort.

And my husband proved to me that believing in him and our relation was the right thing again when he took me for a dinner and movie date for my birthday.

Another birthday celebration

First, he bought me this awesome sapphire necklace that goes perfectly with my sapphire ring he bought last year. I think he is getting better at spoiling me as the years go by :). I am so happy that he does lots of thing to make me happy.

Then we had a lovely dinner. We went to the Vietnamese restaurant near our place . We started with Special Entree Plater which had Spring rolls, Fresh spring rolls, Pork patties skewer, Chicken skewer and fish cake. Forgot to take the photos as we were too hungry :).

It was followed by main. I had Cari Ga – Chicken Curry with rice and my hubby tried Pho noodle soup with chicken. The food was nice and filling. By that time both of us were so stuffed that we decided not to order dessert.

It was followed by a movie that I had been meaning to watch for a while, Taken 2.

Taken 2 movie review

Taken 2 was an ok movie only. Definitely it was nothing like the first one where you had no expectations and it made a surprise $225 million worldwide. The first one was really great as it had some griping elements.

In Taken 2, Liam Neeson looked good despite his age and the movie was good but I think we always expect so much from the sequel that it is easy to get disappointed. I was not bored during the movie but most of it was predictable. I was a bit disappointed as I had high hopes for this movie.

Going back to my original topic, I’ll admit it. I am very romantic at heart and I like the flowers, the chocolates, the walks on the beach, the sweeping off your feet gestures but that doesn’t make me weak. I am a strong woman who knows what she wants and is lucky enough to have a partner who respects me and understands me enough to have a relationship that makes both of us happy. Where I am weak, he has strengths and the opposite is true of my strengths where he is not. We balance each other nicely. I don’t wish to dominate my partner, nor do I want to be dominated.

What is your opinion? Do you agree with my friend or me? 

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25 responses to “I didn’t get married because I am weak

  1. I actually have a few friends like that as well: who have never been in a relationship(or at least I’ve never known them to be in one) yet have the most cynical and opinionated views when it comes to relationships and marriage.
    With all due respect to your friend but have you ever thought that maybe she’s using that opinion as a defensive mechanism? maybe she’s afraid of rejection and opening herself up to love and she uses the ‘weak woman’ mentality to justify her feelings?

  2. Nice pics of the food! I especially love Vietnamese spring rolls and I would make them probably once a week. As for the marriage thing, I cannot believe your friend said this! I do not think whether or not one accepts to marry another that one is weak. However, I feel that a person is weak if they do not allow themselves to be open enough to receive and to give love because being in love is a brave thing to do. I am not belittling marriage, but marriage is just another way to symbolize the love shared between two people.

  3. Awww now that is too sweet !! You will. i know u definitely will. take care and god bless you.

  4. After reading every lines of your posts, i am aware of the fact that you are a caring and loving person but loves to explore iIn relationship and many aspects of life. You have made many aspects of everyday life ‘ALIVE’ while we often tend to forget to realize.
    Your sparkling chemistry with your hubby makes you a star couple. I completely agree with Sid Dunnebacke. Not just in ‘Conjugal life’, a relationship will be worthless if there is ‘need’ of anykind. I completely agree with the main theme of your post. Have a joyous life ahead girl.

    • Thanks so much Shilu. 🙂 I always believed that one should never take any relationship for granted and have to always work for every relationship in life. I really want us to be the couple after 50 years who look into each other eyes and there is a spark and love 😀

  5. Sounds like your friend is afraid to fall in love. Marriage is a tough topic for me. I, like you, am a romantic and believe there are different levels to love. The tradition and implications of marriage are, in my opinion, irrelevant when it comes to love and two people – the spark and love either evolves with the couple or dies. Marriage shouldn’t be used aa a reason to stay together should the love fade, nor should a couple become too comfortable just because they are bound by marriage.

    But I like the idea of celebrating love in a ceremony…and I think a yearly ceremony or celebration of a strong love and bond equal to the original ceremony would be wonderful…but no one has enough money to do such a yearly event…LOL

    • I really believe marriage based not on love will never last so love is always important in relationship. With my friend, I think she has never received this unconditional love for her to judge yet. Hope she will one day 🙂

  6. Tough questions. I think ‘need’ is a poor reason for marrying – it doesn’t last. YOUR take on relationships makes me confident the two of you will be a lovely couple for 75 years!

  7. The best relationships are those where the people in them are strong and fully capable of standing on their own. That does not mean people are weak for entering a relationship, quite the opposite. If one avoids a relationship and uses the avoidance to indicate strength, I’d suggest that is indicative of someone in need of finding their inner confidence. If someone is confident in themselves, they don’t weigh relative strength or weakness, before choosing whether to partner with someone they love. They already know.

  8. I love it and I agree with you…

  9. May be your friend hasn’t found a perfect match or fallen in love and hence she feels that way, I have a friend who said she would never get married as she thought she was capable of living a good and healthy life all by herself and didn’t want to get into the hassle of responsibilities that marriage brings. But she was the first one in our group to get married and she is very happy with her husband now. Nevertheless, her personality hasn’t changed and she is still the same carefree girl that she was who hates to cook and do the daily household chores! She is also very talented and fiercely independent!

    Marriage like love is all about compatibility and destiny as well, I’m sure when your friend finds her match, she will fondly talk about her relationship like you do :).

    • I really hope it will happen one day for my friend 🙂

      I was ot one of those who dreamed of getting married and settle from the beginning but when I met my husband, I knew it was the right decision for me and am so glad I followed through. Best decision of my life, to love, to be loved and taken care of 🙂

  10. Good for you! Personally, I am hopeless in the kitchen and would probably starve to death without my husband, so I have to say that your friend makes a good point, ha ha! 😉

    • I am sure Silva, you do some things better than your husband so he relies on you as you rely on his cooking. So the relationship is all about give and take not just take only 🙂

      • Thank you. Yes, you are right. I wouldn’t trust the man to do laundry, that’s for sure! Unless I wanted to walk around with pink, child-sized clothes the rest of my life! 😉

  11. The last line. That is all.
    “I don’t dominate him and he doesn’t dominate me.” That sums it up perfectly 🙂

  12. marriage is hard. especially in nepali culture where it’s such an important aspect, it’s really nice to read “I really believe that I and my husband are a perfect couple.”
    I hate to say I’m a bit more like your friends, so it’s so nice to read this. Made my day 🙂

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