I was talking to my mum the other day on Skype. She told me that one of my young cousins told her that she wants to be like me when asked what she would like to be when she grows up. It was not the first time I heard that but never gave much thought to it before.
Today while I was pondering what made my little cousin to come up with that answer and why some other people gave me the same answer in the past, I decided to reflect on my life.
I have to admit I have been very lucky in life. I have always been surrounded by nice people who were always willing to help and without their presence my life wouldn’t be what it is today.
It started with my parents when I was little. They always believed in me and provided me with the best they could. If it were not for them, I would not be what I am today. That’s why no matter what I do I will try my best not to hurt them and will always try to do things to make them proud.
I always feel so happy when my parents tell me that they are so proud of me. They are so happy that I turned into a beautiful young woman who people like and every time someone around them praises me, they hold their head high with pride. Imagine hearing those words from your parents, it is always so emotional for me.
Apart from that, there is a decision I made in life that had helped me to be the person I am today. When it was time for me to get into Year 11, there was a lot of pressure. I had cousins and friends who were trying their best to get into the best schools. Luckily, for me I was able to pass the entrance exam of the best school in Kathmandu and continue there.
While in year 11, I had a phase when I became ill frequently. It was not major but it still affected my study and I was really sad. Thank god, I became normal again in year 12, I did well and overall my result was good. After that, it was an even bigger decision waiting to be made, what to do next. Choices were to do Engineering in Nepal or India or go overseas.
After many thoughts and different ideas, I decided to come to Australia for further study. At that time, not many girls around me were going overseas to study so when people around us learnt about my decision, most of them advised against it to my parents.
Most of them were saying things like , “Because I am a girl, I won’t survive and will be back straight away.”, “Girls should not go out on their own, they will go out of line and be a disgrace.”, “We are not super rich so how can she afford to finish the university without parents’ help.” And many more other things which I don’t want to even remember.
At that time, I had only male cousins studying outside of Nepal while most of the girls were either in India or in Nepal studying with funds from their parents.
Did I tell you that I have the most awesome parents because despite such a backlash, they granted me my wish and I applied for study in Sydney?
Luckily, my visa was approved and I headed in new direction in life. Life in Sydney was not always easy but I was determined to make it work. If I failed, I knew there were many people who were waiting to tell my parents “I told you so”, thus failure was not an option.
There were times when I cried to sleep because I couldn’t tell my parents I was having a hard time and didn’t want to upset them. They could have done nothing to help so there was so point. I tried my best and I knew that their blessing was always with me.
I have always believed in positive thinking in life and it did get me through all the hard times. Finally, once the study was over, life was smoother.
When I returned to Nepal, for the first time with my degree, no one was more proud than my parents. I proved to everyone, who was against me going aboard; wrong and instead they were congratulating me on my success and thus began my life.
Of course, everyone has ups and down in life and I had my fair share too but in those ups and downs, I met my loving husband. After my parents and brother, he is the one person in life who never judges me for who I am, always encourage me and is always there to support.
I have to say that my parents are not only proud of me but my choice in my partner too. He is an Engineer by profession and it does add weight to the status in Nepal. He is from a good family and he is doing well in Sydney now and before that in US and India. While I was going through the phase of finding a partner in my life, acceptance and approval form my parents was high on my list. I knew if I married someone who, the society thinks not acceptable, all the people who were against me going aboard will come back and tell my parent, ”I told you so”. I was so happy when my parents gave our relationship their blessing.
Most of you already know a lot about my life right now. I am sure my life is very similar to lots of you and is not extraordinary at all. That is why I don’t understand when my cousins feel they want to be like me. Don’t get me wrong, I feel honored to know that someone looks up to me but at the same time, I don’t understand their thinking fully, hence the confusion. I wish I can do more good things in future so I can inspire them but till date I am just an ordinary girl trying to live her dream.
I really hope they know what they are wishing for when they wish to be like me. I really love my cousins so I wish that they don’t go through any hard time in their life. I wish them all the happiness I got in my life minus all the tears, struggles and pain
Do they mean they want to be an independent and confident woman who I am most of the time? Which part of my life do they want? Am I not very sure, please help me out, what do you think?
Take care everyone ,
M from nepaliaustralian