I am sure I have mentioned it here before that Chhori is not a great sleeper. She has very short naps 30-45 minutes at a time and even at nights she wakes up multiple times. So I always wish that she would sleep a bit longer so I can do something but there are times I don’t want her to sleep long.
Today, for the second time this week, she was fast asleep while I left for work. I really wanted to wake her up but didn’t do it. She looked so peaceful sleeping that I wished I had longer time at home to see her wake up and smile at me.
If I leave home late, I get stuck in traffic which will increase my travel time so I try to leave home early so I can come home to Chhori early . But the days when she is still asleep, I don’t get to interact with her at all in the morning and that makes it really hard to leave home.
Normally I don’t say good bye to her when I leave in the morning anyway even though she is awake. AS takes her to a room before I go out of the home so she doesn’t see me leave and start crying but I still get to spend 20-30 minutes with her while I get ready for work. But the days she that doesn’t wake up, I get no time with her in the morning and it breaks my heart. All I can do is look at my sleeping baby.
Being a working mum is a really hard thing to do. I know I have so many reasons to work and I am lucky to have a job to come back to but at the same time I feel so sad that I have to spend so many hours away from my baby. Thank God my parents are looking after her so I don’t have to drop off a screaming toddler at a day care but not being able to hold her in the morning makes me sad the whole day.
I don’t know how to make this work. Any suggestion from all the wonderful mums out there is welcome. How do you all do it? I think I am still getting used to coming back to work after a year.
I am so glad it is Friday today so I get to spend two full days with her. So looking forward to the weekends. I am sure weekends going to be even more precious from now on.
Have a great weekend everyone.
M from nepaliaustralian
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