I think being a mum is a really hard job as you are constantly judged. Not by your little ones as you are their world (at least when they are small) but everyone around us. Every time you have a conversation with someone, they will subtly imply that either they are doing a better job than you or that you am doing something wrong.
There are many instances like that but here are some recent examples.
- As I mentioned previously, I normally make Chhori’s jaulo in advance. I make a batch for 3-4 days so I don’t have to cook every day. A mums have a shocked look on their face saying how baby can eat old food. They also mention that, they never even give their kids foods that were cooked in the morning for dinner. So fresh meal is prepared every meal. First of all, good job for doing that but please don’t judge me. I want to spend more time with my daughter when I come home from work every time than spend too long in the kitchen preparing food in advance helps me achieve my goal. It is good that you can manage everything so well but not everyone is the same so let it go.
- I told someone that Chhori is sleeping in our room in a cot and end up on our bed as well. I was told we should make sure she sleeps in a separate room form around 3 months if not from birth. I guess being from Nepal, I felt it normal to have baby in our bedroom. We have made a room for her but I am not ready for her to sleep on her own yet. According to them, making them sleep on the same room as parents, we are not giving them room to be independent.
- I am still breastfeeding (Chhori is 13 months now) as I still have plenty of supply and am thinking to continue it until she is around 18 months. People are shocked that I haven’t stopped already and that I am still thinking to go for so long. These days recommended timeframe here is at least 1 year and longer if you can so I was thinking I was following the guidelines but some mums think I am doing it all wrong.
- I wrote a post recently about Waiting for baby to wake up when she sleeps in a car. Many mums think I am going overboard and someone even mentioned that I should get “Mother of the year” award. But for us, it is necessary as Chhori mostly has short naps like 30-45 minutes and if we wake her up, she won’t even sleep that long.
- I love dressing Chhori up and to my surprise, some people have a problem with that too.
- If you are on my Facebook, you will see lots of photos and videos of Chhori. I frequently update it and it is mainly for our family overseas. AS’s parents haven’t met seen Chhori yet so it is important for them to see all these photos and videos but some people think I am sharing too much.
- When I started going to the gym, initially my mum was here so I used to leave Chhori with her but later I put her in childcare. A few people told me that she is too young to be left with strangers even for 2 hours. It was selfish of me to leave a baby just to exercise.
- I used to take packaged food (purees) for Chhori when we are out and about when she was small. I was judged for buying her food instead of bringing home cooked meal. Now she can eat our food so I try to give whatever she can eat. So now I am judged for giving her adult food and not bringing baby food from home.
These are only a few examples. As you can see, there are so many times that people make me doubt about me being a good mum. I am trying my best and I love Chhori so much that I want the best for her.
Am I being unreasonably upset or this happens to you as well?
Hope you are having better day than I am. Take care.
M from nepaliaustralian
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