Category Archives: Personal

From independent, confident strong women to dependent, needy wife

Posted on February 26, 2013 | 31 comments

I am not sure when I crossed the bridge but I recently realised that I have turned from a strong, confident, independent woman into a very dependent, needy wife.

Before I got married, I used to do everything on my own. Most importantly I made my own decisions and went everywhere on my own. I travelled to the US on my own and I was just glad that I had so many friends there. I always went shopping on my own and made decisions on my own. I never felt the need for anyone to be there constantly for me and definitely not to make any decisions for me.

But these days, for even small decisions I need to ask AS for his opinion. Is it really normal or do I really need to pick up my act?

I call AS and ask things like,

“Do you want me to buy a red towel or a maroon one?”

“I really like this dress but should I buy it?”

“I am in the supermarket and I saw this new laundry powder, shall I buy it or buy our regular powder?”

“Do you want to eat lamb or chicken for dinner tonight?”

Some days I even ask him what should I eat for lunch as I can’t make a decision and I am already in front of food court or outside some restaurant.

Seriously, is this normal once you are married or I am becoming overly dependent on him?

It is not only me who has noticed this changed. When AS left from Kathmandu 2 weeks before me, I was on my own. In those 14 days I mentioned that I missed him to everyone. Really, I was telling my cousins and friends so often that they told me the same thing, I have become very dependent. I have really begun to rely on him in so many things that I can’t live even a week away from him.

For the last few years I have told myself that all these changes are because of love. I love him so much that I can’t imagine my life without him. And I thought it was normal to change and feel the way I do but today I feel like asking all of you.

Is this love or dependency?

Do you think I am on the right path?

Do I need to change and start becoming independent again?

Anyone there feels the same as way I do?

P.S: AS consults with me for all his decisions as well.

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31 Comments

Posted in Marriage, Personal, Relationship

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Prabal Gurung for Target collection is not coming to Australia :(

Posted on February 5, 2013 | 7 comments

I am sure everyone knows by now that how much I love Prabal Gurung and was over the moon when he announced Prabal Gurung for Target collection. I am sure you have read this and this posts about the collection.

I was literally counting down the days until Feb 10 2013. I made sure my day was free on that Sunday so I can be first on the line at Target when they open that morning. I was a bit worried that I won’t get what I want in my size.

Last weekend, I went to Target and asked about the details so I know what time I should be in store to buy my favourite pieces and I was surprised to know that they had no clue as to what I was talking about. So they asked me to call the head office and I did so today. I am shattered, devastated, sad, angry, annoyed to say the least when they informed me that AUSTRALIA IS NOT GETTING PRABAL GURUNG FOR TARGET COLLECTION.

I had been planning my purchases from day one of the announcement. When I had a birthday last year, I asked everyone to give me Target voucher so I can buy more items from the collection. Also I was telling my hubby that my Valentine’s gift will be from Prabal Gurung for Target collection as well.

I even dreamed of wearing the red ruffle dress with lace miniaudiere black shoe, short-sleeve dress in Calypso Coral/Atlantis with lace-up heels in Meet the Parents print and pleated skirt with lace in Sulfur Spring with lace-up pumps in Nolita print. Let me not even go on about bags and accessories.

Seriously this is the first time I have spent so much time looking at each item and accessories from the collection and making a list of what I want to buy. I even had a budget for it but in the end, all my dreams went up in smoke. Don’t know what to do now 😦 😦 :(. Very very very sad.

P. S.: I am thinking of online options now but I am so confused about the sizes. I really hope I will be able to buy them as they will be popular and I will have the disadvantage of being so far away.

I am size 6 or 8 in Australia so I think I will need US size 2 or 4 but I won’t be sure until I wear them. So I am thinking to order size 4 just in case size 2 doesn’t fit me. If anyone can help me with the sizes, it would be really appreciated.

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*Sneak peak on Prabal Gurung for Target *More stars shines under Prabal Gurung’s collection *Prabal Gurung for Target collection is not coming to Australia 😦

7 Comments

Posted in Emotions, Fashion

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How I saved my shoes?

Posted on February 2, 2013 | 16 comments

If you don’t know me yet, I am telling you that I am crazy about my shoe. Of course most girls are but do read my post here if you want to read the details.

I don’t know when my obsession for shoes started but I still dream of the day when I am going to have a whole wall wardrobe of shoes. I am sure my husband still wonders what I do with 100s of pairs of shoe I have and keep buying more but men can never understand.

Buying a pair of shoes has always had some supernatural effects on me making me super happy and super confident when I wear them. I believe that shoes also tell a story about the kind of person you are from the feet to your head. Feet are our feelings and a good pair of shoes that well-made, attractive to look at, and comfortable to wear tell the world what you think of yourself all day long.

Anyway on my recent trip to Nepal and Thailand I have bought few new pairs of shoe. Look at them, aren’t they lovely :).

my shoes

I was wearing one of them when I went out for lunch with one of my friend today. When we went out, it was really windy but there was no sign of rain.

But while we were having lunch, it started to rain like cats and dogs. Seriously, there was a thunderstorm and the rain was really heavy. We waited for a while for rain to stop but it didn’t and there was no sign that the rain going to stop. We were less than 10 minutes away from work and we were getting late so we decided to run from the café to work.

Instead of saving myself from getting wet, I took my jacket out and put it on my head to save my hair and took off my shoe and hide it under the jacket. Then we both ran. I was really hoping that no one I know recognise me in the street.

It is quite embarrassing to run like that but my brand new shoes are made out of suede and if it is wet, I am not sure what will happen to the shoes.

When I finally got to the office, my dress was wet but my shoe was dry, not a drop of water in it.

When my colleagues saw my situation, they couldn’t stop laughing. I am sure it looked really funny to others but for me I am just very proud that I saved m y shoes 🙂

Guess that show that I am fashionista after all and my love for shoe will never die 🙂

16 Comments

Posted in Fashion, Personal

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Life is too short

Posted on January 16, 2013 | 14 comments

A while ago I blogged about my penpal and told you about one of my penpals named Raja Gurung who is my Facebook friend now. I was shocked to find out from his Facebook that he has passed away recently. I have no details but I am really sad to know about it.

Actually, I was shocked to read RIP messages in his Facebook wall and have no idea how to react.

As I told you before Raja was from Darjeeling, India and he was only a few years older than me. He was happily married, with two kids. I had met him a couple of times. The last time I chated with him was on Facebook which must be more than a year ago. He was telling me his plans of making a new family home and about his kids and now he is no more.

Life is short but looking around everyone seems to think that they will live forever. We spend time and money as though we will always be here. We don’t tell the ones we love how much we love them often enough because we assume there’s always tomorrow. But thinking about him now brings tears to my eyes as I know that he was a good husband and a father who loved his family a lot. But at very young age he has left this earth and his family to go far from all of us.

We think we have got forever and worry about millions of thing. We talk of killing time, passing time, and getting through the week, forgetting we are wishing away the moments that comprise our lives. We say time is money when in fact the time we have is all we have. Money can be borrowed, time can’t. We fear taking risks, unaware that the biggest risk we run in playing it safe is in fact living as long as we hope and never doing the things we dream of. And then it’s too late.

Every time someone around me dies I face the reality of life but when someone so young leave us it really makes me think harder on my choices in life because I know I may not live until tomorrow. So I am vowing to try my best not to piss anyone around me just in case. Also I want to keep my loved one close and tell them I love them a lot so that they know I will be with them even if I leave this earth before them.

I am a planner and I always plan my years in advance and it is working well for me but sometimes I wonder what will happen to my dreams if I don’t wake up tomorrow. Will my ghost haunt the earth and fulfil my dreams or will I be nothing but the ashes after cremation?

Today this is a reminder for everyone that life is short. It must, therefore, be well lived.

14 Comments

Posted in Personal, Social Issue

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Etiquette for announcing engagement

Posted on November 18, 2012 | 10 comments

I want to share a story from my workplace today. Let’s call my colleagues S (male), B (Female) and K (female).

We (me, B and K) have been bugging S regarding his wedding for a long time now. He has been with his girlfriend for over 5 years now and he is in no rush to propose.

Our argument was that if a woman wants to get married then she deserves to be. I really think if both of the people in a relationship are happy living together without getting married that is perfectly fine but if one of the people in the relationship wants to get married then the other should be able to give in.

The wedding doesn’t need to be big, just go to the registry and register but at least respect the wish of the other person in the relationship so that they will stay happy.

Anyway S has been living with his girlfriend for a while and they have even bought a house together. So we always asked him what the problem is, why he isn’t married to her yet. I think he wanted to stay away from all the planning and the wedding headache as long as possible.

Anyway, the good news is that he came back to work after a 2 weeks holiday and told me and B that he proposed and they are getting married next year. It was great news for us as well and we finally think we managed to get it into his head. K was off that day so she didn’t get the news.

Today when K was back at work, I told her excitedly that S is engaged now and they are getting married. I was sure she would like to know about it.

But the scenario changed quickly when B had this shocked expression on her face while I was happily telling K about the engagement. Ohoo I was given this look that I might have murdered someone. I didn’t realise what I had done wrong.

So when the initial shock and surprised expression was over, B told me that it is not right for me to tell K or anyone about S’s engagement. I should let him announce it.

I felt really bad about it as I never knew this rule regarding engagement announcement before. So I went back to S and told him what happen. He being a guy didn’t care at all (Thank god!). He said it doesn’t really matter to him how people find out. I think he is just glad that the difficult part is over and done with.

I always try to follow the etiquette everywhere I go as I know in Nepal we have different etiquettes while in Australia I need to follow different ones. Even when I travel, I try to Google and learn basic etiquette of the place. This must be one of those times when I  had no idea what I did wrong,

I talked to other colleagues at work about it and some think that B is right about the matter while some are either ignorant like me or don’t think it is a big deal. Anyway, I do understand why B wanted S to announce it.

It is funny how things works in the west compare to east.

I remember when me and AS got engaged, we told our parents and they told everyone else.  We called a few close friends to convey the news but for the rest of my friends, after the engagement ceremony, I uploaded mine and AS’s pic on Facebook and captioned it, “ENGAGED”. Also I changed my relationship status from WHATEVER to ENGAGED.  🙂

After that I remember that my Facebook flooded with thousands of likes and comments. Most friends who we went to school with me were shocked about it. As I told you before in many posts, here and here, I and AS are so different  that it was surprising to some people to even think that we would get married one day.

I was the chatty one who had many friends and used to speak with everyone. I never minded attention I get while AS was the quite one who had select friends and didn’t want to have any attention on him. So imagine North Pole and South Pole coming together.  As I explained already before about our relationship here, we were friends first and it took a while for AS to propose to me.

After the engagement me and AS were trying to convince our close friends that we were not a couple from school days; we were just friends but they thought we had lied to them all these years.

I didn’t bother to correct other friends from school who wrote comments like

 “Chhupa Rustam, how did I not see it?”

“I knew it something was on with you guys” and so on.

It was really funny that suddenly when our relationship was out in open, everyone was telling me that they knew AS liked me from the start. I must be the silly one who never saw that before. Anyway I am glad things happened the way they did. I am just happy with my loving husband and still feel butterfly in my stomach every time, I recall the day he proposed :).

So what is the etiquette in your culture regarding engagement announcement?

10 Comments

Posted in Personal, Relationship