Category Archives: Social Issue

Bhuhari is going to Nepal

Posted on November 9, 2012 | 16 comments

Bhuhari means daughter in law in Nepali.

As per our plan, I have booked my flight to go to Kathmandu, Nepal for mid of December.  I know I have been back form my Europe trip not long ago and l haven’t finished blogging about places we visited in Europe but it has been more than a year since we went to Nepal so, it is a perfect time to go again. We will be using our Christmas and New Year break with our annual leave to accommodate this holiday.

We will be going via Bangkok and will be stopping over for 4 days to do some sightseeing , some shopping and meeting AS’s family . We had been to Thailand before but I will be really nice to go again and meet AS’s new niece. She is so cute.

While in Nepali, my nephew will have his Pasni ceremony as well so we have a celebration and a holiday with our family. My brother, sister in law and nephew will be travelling there before us.

I always like to book my holiday in advance so I can look forward to the day and that keeps me going. I am always very eager to go to Nepal and I am this time as well but I have some fear of all the changes I will face.

This time, going to Nepal will be very different for me than ever before. This will be first time for me to go to my home town as a Bhuhari. It may sound strange in western society but life after marriage for Nepali women is very different than here. Lots of things do change which I haven’t really felt because I am in Australia but that will affect me while I am in Nepal.

Every time, I go to Kathmandu, my parents would come to pick me up at the airport but I am not sure what will happen this time. Because I am meant to go to AS’s house (my new home) from the airport. I am thinking to tell my parents not to come to the airport to receive me as I don’t want them to go home without me but instead am planning to go and visit there on the same day in the evening.

I will have to divide my time between two houses this time and I have no idea how I can manage that easily.

Going to Nepal always meant waking up late, not exercising , being spoilt my parents with yummy food , going out and meeting my friends and relatives, a short break to somewhere with my parents and lots of relaxation.

But I am not too sure I can keep this attitude in my new home.  I think it will be very rude to wake up at 8 am and go to kitchen where my MIL will be preparing breakfast for everyone. We have help but still she likes to do lot of things herself. Don’t get me wrong, as I have mentioned before as well, my MIL is very understanding and caring lady but still I can’t be spoilt the way my mum makes me when I am with her.

I am not too sure how I need to plan my days as there are lots of pending invitation we need to attend this time form AS families’ side. As it is a culture in Nepal to invite newlyweds for dinner after their wedding, we got lot of those invitations after our wedding last year. But as we had only 4 days after the wedding, we declined them and told everyone that we will be visiting them next time when we come back to Kathmandu. That means most of our evenings we’ll be dining out either at AS’s relatives’ house or mine’s.

Even in terms of clothing, I don’t know what I will be expected to wear. Like I mentioned in my post before, married women in Nepal dress differently after their wedding. So I am sure I can’t dress however I want. I don’t really mind wearing Sari and Kurta while I am there but it will be mid-winter so I am not too sure how easy it is going to be. Even a year after the wedding I will be a newlywed buhari so I need to learn all the right manners :).

I am sure with all the confusion and anxiety I am still going to have a great time with my two beautiful families, just thinking about it makes me bit anxious sometimes though. There is still a long time till I land in Kathmandu but I can’t wait to write about my experience and Nepal  from Kathmandu  🙂

16 Comments

Posted in Nepal, Personal, Social Issue

Tagged , , , , ,

New rules for use of mobile phones while driving on Sydney roads

Posted on November 8, 2012 | 9 comments

As I mentioned in my previous post here, I get really annoyed with drivers who are so careless on the road that they are putting themselves and others in danger. It is not fair that someone is careless and they take the life of some innocent road user or make them injured.

It is a common scene on the road to see a driver holding a mobile while driving. If I could issue fines to these people, I could have made lots of money for the government. Even though talking on a mobile phone while driving is not illegal in Australia, holding it is; but drivers hardly care about these rules until they see a cop car.

But things are changing now. They are making these rules very serious. From 1 November 2012, changes to NSW Road Rules have come into effect. These law changes primarily consist of minor amendments, clarifications and tightening of existing road rules.

Motorists will only be allowed to use a mobile phone while driving if the phone is fixed to a secure mounting or can be used without the driver having to touch any part of the phone. Here are the new rules that were effective from last week. Drivers cannot hold a phone in their hand, other than to pass it to a passenger, and can’t rest it on their legs or hold it between their shoulder and ear.

Provided the phone is mounted in a commercially designed and manufactured cradle, fully-licensed drivers can press buttons on the phone for the purpose to make a call, use GPS systems or listen to music.

Texting and emailing while driving, whether the phone is mounted or not, remains illegal.

I am so glad they are taking things seriously and hope this will help save lots of innocent lives on the road.

Rule states from Roads and Maritime Services’s Centre as below

Use of mobile phones

While a vehicle is moving or stationary (but not parked), a driver may only use a mobile phone to make or receive a call or use the audio playing function:

1.         If the mobile phone is secured in a fixed mounting; or

2.         If not in a mounting, use of the mobile phone must not require a driver to touch or manipulate the phone in any way.

All other functions including texting, video messaging, online chatting, reading preview messages and emailing are prohibited.

The new laws make it clear that a driver in a moving or stationary vehicle (unless parked) MUST NOT HOLD a phone in his or her hand other than to pass the phone to a passenger.

Penalty: 3 demerit points (4 in a school zone) and $298 ($397 in a school zone)

NOTE: Learner and Provisional P1 drivers are not allowed to use ANY function of a phone (including hands-free) while driving.

Police and emergency services vehicles

Police and emergency service drivers may continue to use mobile data terminals in the course of their work to receive job allocations, licensing, registration and other important information.

Visual display units in motor vehicles

A visual display unit (including a mobile phone), which is being used as a driver’s aid function, such as a GPS, may only be used in a motor vehicle if it is secured in a fixed mounting. This mounting must be commercially designed and manufactured for this purpose. It must be positioned in the vehicle to not distract or obscure the driver’s view.

Penalty: 3 demerit points (4 in a school zone) and $298 ($397 in a school zone)

9 Comments

Posted in Australia, Social Issue

Tagged , , , , ,

What would you do if a STRANGER follows you trying to make conversation?

Posted on October 20, 2012 | 15 comments

Normally I go for 30 – 40 minutes’ walk during my lunch break. I think I have to stop that soon as it is getting very hot here but I really enjoy it as it gives me some fresh air. Otherwise I would be sitting on my desk all day long. Mostly I go to walk in the park near my office or sometimes I go to shopping center  I always take my phone with me and listen to music with my earphones plugged in.

Anyway on one of these walks last week, a car stopped near me on the road. I didn’t give it much attention and kept walking. But a middle aged guy some 40+ came out of the car and started talking to me. He first complimented me saying I look beautiful. I just ignored him and kept walking but he started walking next to me.

I became a bit weary of his persistence and kept walking. But then he started asking my name and where I work. He kept talking even as I walk on. He was making me uncomfortable and I didn’t want to start a conversation so I kept ignoring him but he kept walking beside me. I was close to my office but I didn’t want to go in as I didn’t want him to know where I worked so I decided to walk a block. But he still kept walking with me.

I was really scared at that point because I didn’t know what to do. Recently there has been lots of news about girls and women being assaulted and abducted so my mind was racing thinking what I should do next. Luckily after almost 10 minutes he understood that I was not going to talk to him and he left me alone. It was really creepy.

I do get occasional compliments in malls or even on the street from complete strangers , not only from men but also from women about my dress or shoe. I smile back at them and thank them and go my own way but this was my first experience where I was really scared.

I am just glad that it was over because I didn’t know what I would have done next if he had kept on following me.

Have you ever been standing in the line at the supermarket, riding the bus home or sitting at the doctor’s office when a stranger tries to strike up a conversation with you? How do you deal with it?

I really don’t want to be rude but sometimes it is really uncomfortable and in times like this, it is very scary to talk to complete strangers especially if they are men.

15 Comments

Posted in Social Issue

Please help Pushpa Basnet to win CNN Hero 2012

Posted on September 22, 2012 | 8 comments

“It’s not fair for (these) children to live in a prison because they haven’t done anything wrong…My mission is to make sure no child grows up behind prison walls.” These are the words of Pushpa Basnet, a social worker and Founder/President of Early Childhood Development Centre (ECDC) and Butter Home, non-profit organisations in Kathmandu, Nepal. In Nepal, when there is no local guardian available, an arrested parent often must choose to keep their children in jail with them.

I have talked about Pushpa Basnet before in this post. Please read it to learn more about this amazing human being who has sacrificed her life towards the welfare of children of Nepal.

Now, she has been nominated for CNN Heroes Award 2012 for her effort and contribution and I would like everyone who is reading this post to click the following link and vote for her. Your two minutes can give shelter, hope and smile to thousands of children in need.

http://heroes.cnn.com/

Please help her win.

 

 

8 Comments

Posted in Nepal, Social Issue

Don’t insist on Alcohol

Posted on September 1, 2012 | 4 comments

I have seen time and time again that in parities especially if the host is Nepali, they kind of insist on you having alcohol. It’s kind of a cultural thing to insist but it has always bugged me and it still does.

I have seen that happen with my dad in Nepal. They will offer him drinks and if he says he has had have enough, their respond will always be “Just have one more”. Come on, when the person who is drinking said enough already, it is not a good idea to offer him/her more alcohol.

After coming to Australia, the situation is same all the time. Especially among men, it is like a pride to drink as much as one can. If someone says no, they will insist until he takes another one. Even if someone says that he is driving; they will say one will be fine.

I know we are not kids any more so if you really don’t want to drink, then we can say no and stick to it. But I think these people who insist on making others drunk sometime forget that people have their own limits and they know it better than anyone else. So why keep insisting for one more when the drinker already said NO.

We hear about drink driving tragedy every day and still people are so unaware of their act when they offer drinks.

I don’t drink alcohol. I have tasted a few drinks but I hate the smell of most alcohol. So when I go to the parties and someone offered me a drink, I just decline. They will insist but I decline and stay firm in my decision. Few people will just insist once while other get disappointed and have asked me, “From when did you stop drinking?” I found it surprising because I never drank so how come I didn’t know the period I used to drink. So to avoid the hassles these day my excuse is, “I am driving” instead of “I don’t drink”. Some people do leave me alone but then there are some who will say “A few drinks will be fine. Just take one. As in Australia, driving with alcohol limit less that 0.5 is not illegal if you hold full licence.”

I know as a non-drinker I don’t know how it feels to be drunk and enjoy drinking. AS drinks and I have never stopped him but I am glad that he know his limit and I have never seen him out of control. But I have seen lots of people who go crazy and loud after getting drunk. My point is, if one already said NO for the drink, no one should insist on them to have more.  Sometime that insistence might make someone drink one more and he/she can easily miscalculate his/her capacity.

Also I never understood –

Why do so many people choose getting drunk as their favourite activity?

Why do people like getting drunk at parties so much?

Why do people like going and getting drunk in a crowd of other drunken people at a bar?

Social drinking is always acceptable but why drink to get drunk? Just enjoy a few drinks and be a responsible drinker. And never insist on anyone to have more drinks. You can offer all you like but never insist. And never DRINK and DRIVE.

To all the Nepali people, please stop insisting on drinks once the person has said NO.

If you are one of the people who enjoy drinking, look at some of the benefits of not drinking. 🙂

  • save money
  • less hassles from family
  • sleep better
  • have more energy
  • have a clear head
  • be less depressed
  • lose weight
  • better physical shape
  • reduce the risk of hypertension, liver disease, brain damage, cancer, accidents

4 Comments

Posted in Nepali Culture, Social Issue