Tag Archives: a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia

Weaning Chhori from night feed

I am sure I have mentioned before that Chhori is still night feeding on a good night, she wakes up 1-2 times for a feed while on bad ones it is multiple times.

Chhori (4)

This routine didn’t bother me when I was home looking after her but since I started work, it started affecting my day. There were days when I was not functioning properly at all as I was sleep deprived days in a row.

Anyway, this was the signal for me to start looking for a solution to stop night feeding. I still wanted her to breastfeed for the next few months at least but I definitely wanted to stop night feeding.

So the solution was for me to sleep in a different room than Chhori. So AS and Chhori slept in our room and I slept in Chhori’s room.

chhori (5)

First night, she woke up the same as usual and started looking for milk. When she didn’t get it, she cried. She opened her eyes and saw her daddy instead of mummy and she cried more. It took AS a long time to calm her down and put her back to sleep. It was the same every time she woke up looking for milk.

I was in the next room so I could hear her cry and was so tempted to run, hug her and feed her. But I knew that was not going to solve my problem. She is old enough now that she doesn’t need night feeding as most kids over 1 year will not wake up multiple times at night for a feed.

The second night the story was similar but the cry was shorter and AS got better at calming her but I was still tempted to run over to hold her every time she cried. So on the third day, we decided that it is best for me to sleep in the guest bedroom which is further away from our bedroom so I don’t hear much at all. So I have been doing that for the last 5 days. I occasionally hear her cry but not much.

chhori (3)

Also according to AS, she is getting better at not crying even if she wakes up during the night. If she does cry, it lasts less than a minute and she is back to sleep.

We are hoping that in a few weeks, she will get better and will sleep through the night so I can go and sleep back in our room. I really hope this will work otherwise we will be back to square one.

I am loving my 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep for sure but AS probably isn’t 🙂

Please, please share any tips that will help this process be easier for me and Chhori. Thanks in advance.

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

 

Advertisements

What is the purpose of my life?

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in  Nov/Dec 2014 issue.

977 Purpose of my life

When I was young, I believed that we were all sent to earth for a reason and that we all have significance in the world. I also believed that I would find my true purpose one day but as I grow older, I am not too sure how to find the purpose of my life.

I am sure when we were created, we were not meant to be just be born, grow up, get married, reproduce and simply die. There must be a higher purpose in life for all human beings making us different from animals. However, at the same time, living every day for so long, I haven’t discovered my purpose. Does such a thing really exist? Why don’t I know my purpose in life yet?

Like many of you, my day starts with waking up early in the morning, getting ready to go to work, breakfast , work whole day, back home, cook dinner, eat , go back to bed and the next morning the whole cycle starts all over again. Weekends are spent cleaning the house, grocery shopping, sorting the bills and fulfilling the social aspect of our life. In fact, nothing much has changed since I was a baby and looks like nothing much will change until my last day in life.

My life is so ordinary and boring if I stand back and look at it. It’s not that I don’t have fun in life, I do. I manage to take holidays, meet new people, explore beautiful places, enjoy new foods and explore the unknown but these are things everyone is doing and everyone can do. Therefore, I feel I lack a specific purpose in life.

I know I am grateful that I am healthy and happy in my simple life. Life could be worse if you don’t have your health by your side but I am sure life is not meant to be just this. Every time I read about achievers, people who excel in sports, science, music, acting or any other field, I feel lost because I know I am not one of those brilliant human beings, I am just another ordinary person.

It makes me sad to think one day when I die, I will not leave behind anything that people will remember me by.

I am sure there are many self-help gurus and books that say they can help to guide us but how easy is it really to find the purpose in life.

Gautama Buddha said “Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it” and that is exactly what I am searching for. I am not too sure how long it takes but hopefully one day I will know the answer and from that day I will dedicate my life to my purpose but until that day comes I have decided to be satisfied with what I have.

It is possible that I might die without knowing the purpose of my life so I have to live every day as if it can be the last day. Until my purpose catches up with me, I have decided to be happy because if I am happy, then I can make others happy.

I am definitely thankful for what I have, my health, my family and my ordinary life without problems. Happiness doesn’t require me to know the purpose of my life. Just appreciating what I have, being content doing the right thing and thanking everyone who made my life better will make me happy and thus everyone around me.

Even though I may not be the extra ordinary human being, I want to be, I could be ordinary one with happiness surrounding me every day and it will be the purpose of my life until I find another one.

Prisoner of darkness

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in  Nov/Dec 2014 issue.

977 prisoner of the darkness

When I opened my eyes, it was dark and I was in a bedroom but not in my own bedroom. I couldn’t keep my eyes open because there was light coming from the side of the blinds. It was not much light but for some reason my eyes seemed not to like any light at all.

I felt nausea and my head was spinning. I felt weak and I couldn’t move my body. I didn’t know what had happened so I screamed and even my scream was weak.

Suddenly a man came running to the room and asked,” Are you OK?”. For a second I couldn’t recognised the man but as he came closer I could see his face. It was my husband. Once he came closer, all I did was hug him and cry.

After I calmed down and gained my composure, I remembered what was happening. My headache was getting worse but I was not panicking as I was sleeping in our guest room. I was not in the main bedroom as it was too bright and my husband thought I would sleep better in a dark room.

The day before I came home early from work because I had a very bad headache and I couldn’t stand to look at the computer screen. When I closed my eyes for a while, I felt better but when I opened them again, the headache was back. I work on a computer so there was no point in staying at work any longer.

I went straight home. It was getting difficult to drive but somehow I managed and reached home. I took two Panadols and went straight to bed and slept. After 3 hours when I woke up, my headache had worsened. I felt like my head was going to explode so I decided to go to my local GP. I had to wait for 30 minutes before I could see him and it was the longest 30 minutes of my life.

Finally, I told the GP what had happened and expected him to perform a miracle so that my gruesome headache would disappear. Over the years, I have had lots of headaches but this one was supersized compare to what I had before.

The GP told me that I have a severe case of migraine and the best solution is to take medication and sleep. Following his advice, I took the medicine he prescribed and went to bed. By the time my husband came home, I was so sick that I was crying.

He looked after me for the rest of the evening and I was glad it was night, as I didn’t have to worry about the light. And I was hoping the next morning when I wake up, there would be no headache and I would be able to go to work as normal.

But to my dismay, I work up with a stronger headache and I couldn’t open my eyes again. My husband had to take time off from work to look after me as I was not able to get out of the bed. When we talked to GP regarding about my condition, all he could suggest is to keep taking medicine and rest like the day before.

Even with a whole day in bed, I was nowhere near better. I couldn’t open my eyes long enough to talk to my husband or watch TV or do anything else. All I could do was lie on the bed and wish I was doing something more productive.

The next morning I was more hopeful and was so happy when there was no headache when I woke up. Hubby had to go to work so I was contemplating if I should go to work as well or just rest.

However, it took only 10 minutes for my headache to answer all my questions. Even though the headache was not as bad as the previous days and I was not in severe pain, I couldn’t think straight and for sure was going to be useless for the rest of the day again.

Whenever I could and my eye permitted, I Googled many times to find a cure for my migraine but my effort was in vain, as everyone suggested staying in a dark room with eyes closed and it would be all good. My question was how long I could stay indoors like that.

Being a very active person, it was impossible for my mind to shut down but my body needed the rest.

One of the websites suggested lying down and putting an ice pack or cold compress on my head and it did help with the pain but it was just reducing the pain, not curing it and I really was looking for cure.

Even though I tried my best, I couldn’t sleep the whole day and I was very glad when hubby was home after work. At least when he is around me I have someone to talk to.

It took full 6 days to get rid of the headache. It was not sever most of the time but I was constantly in pain. First time, in my life I felt the severe pain and realised how worst pain can go. I am praying that it will never happen again and I will never want to be prisoner of darkness again.

Peplum trend

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in  June 2014 issue.    

fashion

If you over indulge a little during holiday season, don’t worry a lot but invest in peplum dress/top/skirt/jacket until you get back in shape sa it draws attention away from non-washboard abs.

Peplum is a clever little frill, a short overskirt or ruffle attached at the waistline of a jacket, blouse, skirt or dress that extends from your waist to hips making your body look perfect.

From 1800s, peplums were in fashion and it has made a big comeback since few seasons now. From catwalks to celebrities to normal people, everyone is embracing this new tread and you will know why as well if you own a piece.

As everything in fashion, you need to know some simple rules on wearing peplum in the most flattering way. The length, width and volume of the ruffle determine it all, and the drape and choice of fabric make a difference too while choosing what to buy. The key to getting this trend right is keeping it modern.

  • Choose soft materials peplum making sure it stays next to your skin and gives the illusion of a smaller waist.
  • Get a peplum that has slightly higher waist and it can hide a thicker middle.
  • A single colour outfit will also help lengthen your frame so avoid extreme colour-blocking or graphic print-blocking.
  • If you are wearing a peplum top, wear a streamlined pencil skirt or tapered pants.
  • Buy peplum slightly narrower at the front than the back, creating a scooping effect at the waist and hips.
  • Paired with the right belt (read skinny), peplum can be even more flattering.
  • If you are not tall, buy peplum with short width and less volume.
  • If you have straight body, pick a soft yet streamlined flared peplums to add curve to your body.

Please click here for all my published posts.

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Let’s make this world one big happy family

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in  June 2014 issue.   

plus977 

Nepal is a country of “Char jaat and chhattis barna” and our ancestors were very proud about it. They even made a song about this fact and we learned about the great history of Nepal in our school years.

People were happy and understanding when you had friends from different castes and they seemed to advocate equality and brotherhood between castes. But falling in love outside the caste was a different story. Every parent of single girls and boys feared their child might marry outside their own caste. That was a century ago.

These days, the fear has moved from inter-caste marriage to international marriage. Now almost every home in Nepal seems to have someone living and/or studying abroad so the parents’ fear has shifted from inter-caste marriage to intercultural/international marriage. More and more people from Nepal are abroad and more individuals have crossed racial, ethnic, and religious boundaries to marry someone. I bet you know someone in your close circle who has married a non-Nepalese. Marrying inter-caste is very common in Nepal and acceptable in most families these days but most parents are finding it difficult to accept someone from a different county, culture, religion and background.

The thing is these intercultural relationships and marriages are meant to happen. What do you expect when you send your kid aboard to mix with international society, learn their culture, meet new people but then never think about them falling in love with anyone other than people from Nepal? Even typing these words right now I can see straight away how ridiculous it sounds. Similarities and connections with another person isn’t limited to someone of your own culture as love sees no boundaries and connections can be made with individuals from all backgrounds and experiences.

I find it funny when a guy/girl returns to Nepal with a foreigner friend; the parents show them off as a trophy. Saying, “Mero chora/chori ko ta American sathi cha.” But if the same person was introduced as their boyfriend or girlfriend, they change their tone completely.

I know so many friends who had a hard time making their parents understand that their love is real and they are serious about their relationship. Some parents have even gone to the extent of bribing them or using emotional blackmails as a tool to separate them form their love.

Australia has the highest rate of intercultural marriage in the world, and it is increasing. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the number of mixed marriages has grown from 39% in 1974 to 60% in recent years. I am sure the numbers in Nepal are increasing as well.

I do understand the few genuine reasons why parents are opposed to intercultural relationship. The first one is the society. In this instance, they always think about what people will say and think, without thinking about their child first. Their social status seems to be more valuable than the love for their children.

Then there are the communication issues, whether that is between them and their son/daughter in law or the future grand kids. Parents think these barriers mean that they will have a hard time understanding each other’s feelings.

If they are religious people, they are worried what religion and culture their future grand kids will follow. In addition, many people in Nepal are Hindu and they are against eating beef while most of the westerners live on beef.

However, these are the issues which could be easily overcome with communication and understanding. Therefore, parents first must take the first step of acceptance if they want good relation with their kids and their partners.

One of the biggest misconceptions parents in Nepal seem to have is that if you marry a foreigner, they will divorce in the future. I am serious that most of the older generation have this in mind and tell you about it openly. I know it is not true but looking at few examples, they put everyone in the same pigeonhole.

To all the parents, please think twice before you go against the marriage of your kid. They are still the same kid you used to worry about when they got sick or didn’t come home on time. Then how can you be OK when they are heart broken and hurt by your action.

The world is changing, let’s embrace it. As our world becomes more accepting of differences, individuals will continue to find attraction and love with others from outside of their own culture. Let’s look beyond the differences that confuse or frustrate us, and look for the value we can find in these relationships. Let us educate our children in recognizing human beings as human beings in spite of their race, colour, or ethnicity. I will just be very happy for my kids one day to marry someone honest, loving and respectful.

Would you prefer your son/daughter to marry someone nice, honest, hardworking and friendly but from a different culture or someone stubborn, lazy and annoying but from your own culture? I am sure everyone has the same answer so why are we so bothered by where this nice, honest, hardworking friendly person comes from. Believe me, nobody’s status declines because of intercultural or inter country marriage.

While every romantic relationship can bring its own set of challenges, intercultural relationships can bring unique challenges and during this stage, support of family and friends is very important to the couple.

To everyone who sees their future in international/intercultural marriage, don’t expect things to be easy but also don’t give up. The best way to overcome this issue is by learning each other’s culture, religion and traditions so you can understand your partner and in laws better. Ask questions and try to understand why your partner has a certain perspective or why s/he does things a different way. Learn to accept and understand the differences without changing your own beliefs or behaviors, this way you would be able to pass this knowledge down to your kids. Just to be clear this is something a couple have to do regardless of whether they are in an intercultural marriage or from the same culture because each of us has our own perspective in life. For couples from intercultural background, they will just have a little more work to do to understand the differences.

Let’s make this world a big happy family and let’s all live in harmony.

Please click here for all my published posts.

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

SWIMWEAR SEASON IS UPON US

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in April 2014 issue.

Plus977 (1)

Finally, summer is here everyone so pack your warm clothes and out with floral dresses and SWIMWEAR.

Like everyone, I have been swimming a lot in this hot weather. And one thing you realise when you swim often is that you need to buy new swimwear. Like everything else in fashion, when I went to buy a new swimwear I was flooded with choices like colour block, tiny prints, high waisted bikini, one piece , halter, belted, tankini and list can go on. Here are some beautiful swimwears you can find in the market.

Going shopping for swimwear can be a bit daunting with so many to choose from and trying all these variety can confuse you even more so here are few simple things to remember when you are shopping for swimwear.

  • If you are tall and have a long torso, break it with horizontal stripes. Tankinis are great for long torsos.
  • If you are short, throw your tankinis and go for bikini with details like ruffle or floras.
  • If you have bigger bottom, higher cut bottom or bottom with skirt will do the trick.
  • If you are pear shaped, colour blocking will make you look sexy.
  • If you have tummy, hide with a suit that flatters and firms.
  • If you have small bust go for swimwear with push-up cups or pads inside. Ruffles or frills on the top will help as well.
  • Darker colours are more slimming in general and dark bottoms are good, if you have hip issue.
  • Don’t forget to mix and match to create different look.
  • Don’t always go after trend but make sure you buy for the body shape and the one you are comfortable in so you will wear the swimwear more often.

My mum, my Super women (Mother’s Day 2014)

Today is Aama ko Mukh herne din ( Mother’s day) in Nepal. Please click here  and here to read more about it. I want to dedicate this post to all the moms of this world.

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in April 2014 issue.

Plus977 (2)

When I was young, I didn’t realised that my mum is a super women. But I know now that my mum is my hero and my treasure, she is like a prize I won the day that I was born.

My mum had a normal upbringing but she started working at a very young age. She worked as a teacher and continued working for most of her life.

When she got married to my dad, as in most of the household in Nepal, being a daughter in law, she had to cook, clean and look after the family and at the same time went to her 9-5 job six days a week.

After doing her daily chores, making sure we had breakfast, our lunch packed and everyone else is fed, she would to the school to teach. She usually arrived home late in the afternoon or before dawn and would prepare our food and take care of our needs.

I can’t remember her complaining about anything but remember her willingness and perseverance to help our family and trying to give me and my brother a better life. I really didn’t understand her sacrifices and to make it worst I used to complain about the food we ate, clothes we wore, toys I owned and other things.

It all seemed normal to me as a kid because most of the women around me were doing the same thing while most of the men were working in a job or business and were served hot meal 3 times a day without needing to lift a finger in the kitchen.

As I became more aware of the society in Nepal, I became aware of gender biases as well. I always asked questions if someone treated me different from my brother and I used to hate the answer when they say, “It is because you are a girl

“Girls should not be saying this.”

“Girls should not be doing this.”

“Girls should be learning how to cook.”

The amazing thing is, most of the times, these words were from the mouth of women like grand ma or aunties than men. As a child, it never understood why I have to be different from my brother. I am the same in every way I can think of to my brother so why I can’t do certain things or why I have to do certain things.

Watching Hollywood movies, I was happy to know that at least in some part of the world, women are treated better and equal and this made me dream of running away from Nepal and finding a future in a country where men and women are equal and gender bias didn’t exist.

When my destiny took me to Australia for further study, in my mind I knew that I was going to a developed country. I was sure my future was going to be much better than in Nepal. I had big dreams and was happy that I was taking the first step towards my dream.

Out of many things, I left behind in Nepal; I thought one of them would be gender bias. Living in Sydney for a while made me realise I was wrong. Like my mum, most of the women here were doing their duty at home as well as at work. Only few lucky ones had husbands who would help a lot in the kitchen and with kids but most women were doing 80% of the house chores while their partners were resting, as they were tired from a hard day’s at work.

Even though western society looks like they have no gender biases in movies I soon realised that the wives and mothers in Australia were going through the same story that my mum was going through in Kathmandu. Only a few lucky enough were telling me a different story but most of them had to look after both house and work. Therefore, my dream of living in a gender equal society was scattering into a million pieces.

I realised only when I started working and studying at the same time, how hard life can be. The hardships I went through as a student in Sydney made me think how great my mum is and how she is a super woman, able to do all that for us.

My mum deserves to be cherished because she taught us the values in life that inspired us to live wisely. She showed us how to be strong in times of weaknesses. She took care of us, fed us and did everything for us without complaining whether she was tired or sick. I feel bad that I used to complain about her food and the things she did or did not do.

Now I am a wife I understand her situation much better. I feel blessed to have an understanding husband but still feel a need to take care of many things in our house. Call it a women’s instinct but there are many things I feel I need to do to make sure our house runs smoothly and it is not an easy job. Right now, we are only two adults in the house and I can’t imagine how life going to be when we will have a couple of kids running around.

After a hard day at work, some days I feel exhausted and tired and remember maybe that’s how my mother felt as well when she was raising us. There are days I don’t want to go to the kitchen and then I remember my mum and how she handled two hungry screaming kids when she got back from work. It wasn’t easy for her and I can feel in my heart what she must have felt then. I know now that I should have appreciated all her efforts and all the sacrifices she made. She deserves to be loved and treated special. She is a superwoman.

mum

One day when I am going to be a mum and I hope to come into my own as a strong woman like my mum. I salute women like my mother who have paved the way for me as not only a woman and wife but someday as a mother and super woman to love and give with a big smile.

Please pick up a phone and call your mum and tell her how much you love her because you may not be this lucky one day.

Take care everyone,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO