This is continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.
Not surprisingly after my last email, most of my friends emailed me back except AS. They let me know that none of them were planning to come to Kathmandu as their circumstance was not good to take a holiday. I was a bit disheartened as I thought I might be lonely in Kathmandu. The friends who were already there would be very busy with their work and family. So the best person to give company will be someone on holiday just like me.
My last hope was AS and was hoping at least we would have a week or so together before I left Kathmandu.
In Kathmandu, my parents and family were busy searching for a guy for me. They were scared that I would change my mind again so they were sending information including photo of prospective husbands. I trusted my parents’ choices to find a guy from a reputable family which matched our caste and status but it was me who had to live with this guy for ever. Every time, they sent me a photo, I couldn’t see HUSBAND material in any of them. I started to question myself on what I really wanted from a husband. I was so unsure.
I never talked to any of these guys because I didn’t think I should be the one initiating the communication. When my parents would say “Add him in Facebook or email the guy”, I would tell them if he is really interested, he should add me. I am not taking the first step.
I think in a month, I heard about at least 10 guys and saw photos of a few of them as well. Now the conservation with my parents was more on what they were looking for in a guy and what I wanted. I used to tell them, you guys know better about what to look for as I didn’t have any specific list. The only think I told them was that I needed him to come to Australia after the wedding.
As the days pass by, my parents became less excited about finding a guy as I kept on saying I didn’t like any of them. They though it would be better if I met few guys when I was in Nepal in December. So they stopped sending me the photos and details.
I have to say AS always managed to communicate on the right time. On one weekend after talking to my parents about wedding and marriage, I was just surfing net when he messaged me on Facebook
Me: hey, how are you?
AS; Doing gud. How are you?
Me: Why didn’t u reply my mail? U r annoying
AS: hahahaha. I was about to mail u
Me: Ya rite. Anyway just got off the phone with my parents. They are asking me what kind of man I want to get married to. They don’t know what to look for anymore as I kept on saying NO to everyone they showed me.
AS: Just trust them and say YES
Me: I am too scared to just say yes. I don’t even know these people. How can I marry anyone?
AS; I have asked my mum to look for bride for me as well. I really don’t care. If they find someone good I will marry her.
Me: Are you serious? Aren’t you worried that you won’t get along together and that will be a big problem in future.
AS: It works both ways so I am cool. But it is funny, they haven’t found anyone yet.
Me: So what kind of bride you looking for?
AS: Don’t know.
Me: Come on, just give me a hint.
AS: Someone who is educated, around my age and from Newar caste so my family will be happy. If it has to be arranged better make sure my family is happy.
Me: So why couldn’t they find anyone yet then.
AS: Don’t know. Let me know if you know someone 🙂
Me: In fact I have a very good friend who is looking for guy as well. I think you will like her. The only problem is she is slightly older than you. (I am sure my friend will kill me if she ever found about this). But I am sure you will be good together.
AS: I am OK with someone older but I am sure my family will not be OK with that.
Me: Ohoo, that is sad. You guys would have been perfect. Anyway looks like we will be getting married soon. Imagine in few years if we meet again, with our partners and kids. God, life will be so different.
AS; I thought u were already married before. Anyway what are you looking for in a groom.
Me: I know it was fun to fool you :). I really don’t know. I am very confused.
Me: Coz I have never been married before hahaha..Seriously I am not sure if I am really ready to get married.
AS: I think no one is ever ready but you will be fine.
Me: What happens if I don’t get along with my husband?
AS: You will be fine.
Me: I am not sure what I want from life let alone have someone else with me to make it even more complicated. God why do we even have to get married?
AS: So this world and the human race can go on. Imagine, if no one wanted to get married and have babies, what would happen. You are a nice gal so you will be OK don’t stress out a lot.
Me: Ya right. Are you coming to Kathmandu in December?
AS: Not sure yet. Have to check if I can get time off from work. Also I plan to travel to some more places in the US before coming to Kathmandu so let’s see.
Me: Looks like we will miss each other in Kathmandu like always. 😦
AS: Will let you know the details once everything is fixed.
Me: I am sure we won’t meet as always. Seriously I will be so bored in Kathmandu.
AS: You have so many friends there and you know so many people.
Me: Ya but they all will be busy in their work and family. It was the case last visit.
AS: Time to go for lunch. Keep you posted.
Me: Ok talk to you later. Enjoy lunch.
After that conversation I met AS more on Facebook chat as well as Gmail chat. We used to talk about everything from our future plans to our future partners but we were still friends and just happy to be in touch. Life was going on as normal. I was really excited that my holiday was coming soon and was looking forward to that.
In the meantime, AS decided that he would come to Nepal in January as well after his holiday to the east coast. That meant we might meet in Kathmandu depending on the flight he was able to book. But he was having problems booking a flight as it was holiday season and most flights were booked out. I was still very skeptical about our meeting.
Finally it was December 9 and I was super excited to go home. I hadn’t been to Kathmandu for over 18 months. It was a change I was looking forward to. Also I kept my mind open about marriage and prospective groom.
Before I headed to airport, I checked my mail for the last time and there I had an email from AS.
I have been bg these days. Well 4.5 hrs of sleep is all I got, got up at 7.30
You must be all packed and ready to go. I had hoped to catch you before you left for the airport but work came in between… ke garne… saw your email too late…
Aba ta yahi sochdaichuki Kathmandu chandai jana paun taki (Now I am thinking to come to Kathmandu soon) I get to spend more time with you…… well tyas pachi shayad ya ta chat ma bhet hola nabhaye Kathmndu ma (Hope we meet in chat or else in Kathmandu)
Airport ma wifi bhaye… yo mail padheu bhane online aaunu ra chat garaunla… Gharma padhdaichau bhane… aba tyasai bela chat garaunla…(Hope there is wifi in the airport so you can read this email and come online otherwise you will be reading this from home in Kathmandu so talk to you then)
You have a safe journey now, Bon Voyage! Have fun! We will meet when we meet!
I didn’t feel like replying to the email at the last minute so I closed my laptop and made sure everything was in order before I left for the airport.
I took a cab, checked in and cleared immigration. This time I was flying Singapore airlines. I waited outside the boarding gate. I wished I was not traveling alone especially of the 9 hours transit time I had in Singapore before I flew to Kathmandu. But I tried my best to think about my plans in Kathmandu.
I had a holiday planned with my parents to Mirik, Pashupathi Nagar, Illam, Jhapa. Itahari, Kakarvita in Nepal and Sikkim, Changu Lake and Darjeeling in India. I knew it would be one of the best holidays as I would be spending lots of time with my parents. The only topic I needed to remember to avoid was marriage 🙂
The post is getting long so I will write more in next post. Hope you will come back and read more
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My God he was so slow
He still is at times but I love it now 🙂
Nice post I enjoyed the honesty
Love that you are sharing this, it’s a wonderful story and so enlightening, such an interesting exchange between you two, able to be so honest while going through the same process, fascinating.
Thanks Claire 🙂
Haha! Good thing you guys could be in KTM at the same time 😉
Yes it was even thought it was only for few weeks.. 🙂
And I guess the topic you desperately wanted to avoid, would be a top priority back then in their minds. You must be good topic changer if you successfully pulled that off!
Mmmmmm…I don’t think I am any good. To be honest the topic you are mentioning was hardly on mind mind to talk about 🙂
What an experience…
and it is just an start…
this keeps getting so interesting!!!
Thanks for stopping by my blog, M. I wanted to come over and check out yours. As soon as I started reading this post and recognized your friendship with AS, I just knew he has to be the guy for you!
Thank you Kathleen for stopping over.
This is interesting. Loved reading it.
Thank you 🙂
Darn…. I’m so interested…. but …. I kind of want to slap AS silly…. well, sorry about that… good thing I know the ending ! ! ha ha
I think it is not is fault then as we both were at the point where we don’t know what we wanted and we were just friends 🙂