Tag Archives: long distance love

Our Story: Finding a perfect life partner – Part 5

Posted on March 28, 2013 | 19 comments

This is continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.

Not surprisingly after my last email, most of my friends emailed me back except AS. They let me know that none of them were planning to come to Kathmandu as their circumstance was not good to take a holiday. I was a bit disheartened as I thought I might be lonely in Kathmandu. The friends who were already there would be very busy with their work and family. So the best person to give company will be someone on holiday just like me.

My last hope was AS and was hoping at least we would have a week or so together before I left Kathmandu.

In Kathmandu, my parents and family were busy searching for a guy for me. They were scared that I would change my mind again so they were sending information including photo of prospective husbands. I trusted my parents’ choices to find a guy from a reputable family which matched our caste and status but it was me who had to live with this guy for ever. Every time, they sent me a photo, I couldn’t see HUSBAND material in any of them. I started to question myself on what I really wanted from a husband. I was so unsure.

I never talked to any of these guys because I didn’t think I should be the one initiating the communication. When my parents would say “Add him in Facebook or email the guy”, I would tell them if he is really interested, he should add me. I am not taking the first step.

I think in a month, I heard about at least 10 guys and saw photos of a few of them as well. Now the conservation with my parents was more on what they were looking for in a guy and what I wanted. I used to tell them, you guys know better about what to look for as I didn’t have any specific list. The only think I told them was that I needed him to come to Australia after the wedding.

As the days pass by, my parents became less excited about finding a guy as I kept on saying I didn’t like any of them. They though it would be better if I met few guys when I was in Nepal in December. So they stopped sending me the photos and details.

I have to say AS always managed to communicate on the right time. On one weekend after talking to my parents about wedding and marriage, I was just surfing net when he messaged me on Facebook

AS: Hello

Me: hey, how are you?

AS; Doing gud. How are you?

Me: Why didn’t u reply my mail? U r annoying

AS: hahahaha. I was about to mail u

Me: Ya rite. Anyway just got off the phone with my parents. They are asking me what kind of man I want to get married to. They don’t know what to look for anymore as I kept on saying NO to everyone they showed me.

AS: Just trust them and say YES

Me: I am too scared to just say yes. I don’t even know these people. How can I marry anyone?

AS; I have asked my mum to look for bride for me as well. I really don’t care. If they find someone good I will marry her.

Me: Are you serious? Aren’t you worried that you won’t get along together and that will be a big problem in future.

AS: It works both ways so I am cool. But it is funny, they haven’t found anyone yet.

Me: So what kind of bride you looking for?

AS: Don’t know.

Me: Come on, just give me a hint.

AS: Someone who is educated, around my age and from Newar caste so my family will be happy. If it has to be arranged better make sure my family is happy.

Me: So why couldn’t they find anyone yet then.

AS: Don’t know. Let me know if you know someone 🙂

Me: In fact I have a very good friend who is looking for guy as well. I think you will like her. The only problem is she is slightly older than you. (I am sure my friend will kill me if she ever found about this). But I am sure you will be good together.

AS: I am OK with someone older but I am sure my family will not be OK with that.

Me: Ohoo, that is sad. You guys would have been perfect. Anyway looks like we will be getting married soon. Imagine in few years if we meet again, with our partners and kids. God, life will be so different.

AS; I thought u were already married before. Anyway what are you looking for in a groom.

Me: I know it was fun to fool you :).  I really don’t know. I am very confused.

AS: Why?

Me: Coz I have never been married before hahaha..Seriously I am not sure if I am really ready to get married.

AS: I think no one is ever ready but you will be fine.

Me: What happens if I don’t get along with my husband?

AS: You will be fine.

Me: I am not sure what I want from life let alone have someone else with me to make it even more complicated. God why do we even have to get married?

AS: So this world and the human race can go on. Imagine, if no one wanted to get married and have babies, what would happen. You are a nice gal so you will be OK don’t stress out a lot.

Me: Ya right. Are you coming to Kathmandu in December?

AS: Not sure yet. Have to check if I can get time off from work. Also I plan to travel to some more places in the US before coming to Kathmandu so let’s see.

Me: Looks like we will miss each other in Kathmandu like always. 😦

AS: Will let you know the details once everything is fixed.

Me: I am sure we won’t meet as always. Seriously I will be so bored in Kathmandu.

AS: You have so many friends there and you know so many people.

Me: Ya but they all will be busy in their work and family. It was the case last visit.

AS: Time to go for lunch. Keep you posted.

Me: Ok talk to you later. Enjoy lunch.

After that conversation I met AS more on Facebook chat as well as Gmail chat. We used to talk about everything from our future plans to our future partners but we were still friends and just happy to be in touch. Life was going on as normal. I was really excited that my holiday was coming soon and was looking forward to that.

In the meantime, AS decided that he would come to Nepal in January as well after his holiday to the east coast. That meant we might meet in Kathmandu depending on the flight he was able to book. But he was having problems booking a flight as it was holiday season and most flights were booked out. I was still very skeptical about our meeting.

Finally it was December 9 and I was super excited to go home. I hadn’t been to Kathmandu for over 18 months. It was a change I was looking forward to. Also I kept my mind open about marriage and prospective groom.

Before I headed to airport, I checked my mail for the last time and there I had an email from AS.

Hey M,

I have been bg these days. Well 4.5 hrs of sleep is all I got, got up at 7.30

You must be all packed and ready to go. I had hoped to catch you before you left for the airport but work came in between… ke garne… saw your email too late…

Aba ta yahi sochdaichuki Kathmandu chandai jana paun taki (Now I am thinking to come to Kathmandu soon)  I get to spend more time with you…… well tyas pachi shayad ya ta chat ma bhet hola nabhaye Kathmndu ma (Hope we meet in chat or else in Kathmandu)

Airport ma wifi bhaye… yo mail padheu bhane online aaunu ra chat garaunla… Gharma padhdaichau bhane… aba tyasai bela chat garaunla…(Hope there is wifi in the airport so you can read this email and come online otherwise you will be reading this from home in Kathmandu so talk to you then)

You have a safe journey now, Bon Voyage! Have fun! We will meet when we meet!

Always,

AS

I didn’t feel like replying to the email at the last minute so I closed my laptop and made sure everything was in order before I left for the airport.

I took a cab, checked in and cleared immigration. This time I was flying Singapore airlines. I waited outside the boarding gate. I wished I was not traveling alone especially of the 9 hours transit time I had in Singapore before I flew to Kathmandu. But I tried my best to think about my plans in Kathmandu.

I had a holiday planned with my parents to Mirik, Pashupathi Nagar, Illam, Jhapa. Itahari, Kakarvita in Nepal and Sikkim, Changu Lake and Darjeeling in India. I knew it would be one of the best holidays as I would be spending lots of time with my parents. The only topic I needed to remember to avoid was marriage 🙂

The post is getting long so I will write more in next post. Hope you will come back and read more

Go to Part 6

You may also like :

*Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story : LA Airport – Part 2 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

19 Comments

Posted in Marriage, Our Story, Relationship

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

Posted on March 18, 2013 | 16 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous post here, Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

Normally I used to send emails to my friends from time to time just to say hi and keep in touch. So I sent the following email to AS one day. I didn’t expect a reply from him at that point. I already knew that it was normal not to hear from him for quite some time.

hey

How are u doing?

Just dropped in to say hi. So have you made you plans about the future there?

Also what time u are online these days.

anyway just keep in touch and gud luck for future

BTW when r u going to Nepal?

hope to see u there

M

It took him another 3 weeks to email back as expected.

Hey M,

How’r u doing?

Things have been a little crazy here so haven’t been online.

I will be here till December or Jan then may go to Nepal.

I haven’t been online much lately but will be till 1 or 2 in the night here PST. The timing between Australia and USA is so messed up and I can’t access messenger at work so I don’t know how to meet u online… gotta think of some way.

Anyways… I’ll only go to Nepal when I finish here. Been too long. And hopefully it’ll be the same time as u. so when’re u going btw? Ok do write to this infrequent correspondent 🙂 even though u may want to bash me.

Chow,

AS

It took me 2 weeks to write back to him because there was a lot going in my life then. I was thinking to go to US on a working holiday visa. My parents wanted me to come to Nepal and decide on getting married. I was looking for another job in Sydney.

So I decided not to go to US as the economy there was not doing great. Instead I decided to go to Nepal and visit my family. Also one of my good friends was in Hawaii so decided I will visit her and then go to Nepal.I was also applying for new jobs, making me very busy. Finally I decided to reply to AS with my plan.

hi

finally really gud hear from u

 I am still undecided on US for now

Anyway I am sure things will work out best for both of us

I am thinking if I have chance I will go to Hawaii for a week before going to Nepal in Dec.

Do let me know if u can come too. I have my frd there and also AH is there.

I think it will be fun if we can manage otherwise it will b so gud to c u in Nepal

These days there is hardly anyone in Nepal so having company for few days will be great

gud luck for everything

Do keep in touch

 M

Around that time I was keen on finding a better job and it was really making me frustrated. I did look around a lot but there were not many jobs that I wanted on the market.

One of the weekends, I was home online doing different things like looking for jobs, checking Facebook and so on. I had plans with my friends, brother and SIL to go clubbing that night. It was evening already so I started getting ready.

While I was getting ready, I heard a “tring”, a message in my Facebook chat. When I finished what I was doing I went and check what it was. SUPRISE SURPRISE. It was AS saying hello in Facebook chat.

I was about to go out in 30 mins so I did not know if I should response or not. I decided to say a quick hi.

Me: hello, how are you?

AS: Hey. am good. How r u?

Me: I am sorry but I am about to go out so can’t chat as I am getting ready.

AS: it’s ok

Me: if you have Skype add me. My id is XXXXXXXX . I can talk and get ready if you have time.

He sent me the request and I added him. Now we were voice Skyping while I was getting ready to go out.

I am not sure what we talked about but it was time for me to go so I was saying my goodbye. At the end of the conversation this is what we end up talking

AS: Do you have camera in your laptop.

Me: Of course. Here you go, I started the video chat. Hellooo, can you see me?

He had his video on as well.

AS: I can see you. Ok enjoy your night.

Me: Of course I will. We are going clubbing. Dancing always makes me happy.

AS: la la mooj gara (ok enjoy). You are looking good. (I remember I was wearing a blue one shoulder dress with big flower earrings. I smiled as it is always nice to get a compliment.)

me

Me: Thank you. Ok time for me to go now. Take care and nice talking to you.Bye

AS: Bye

I shut down the laptop and went out. I had a great night with my brother, SIL and my friends. We went to city and it was beautiful weather. As usual we had our dinner and danced till late. It was Saturday night so we had lots of fun.

My life was moving as normal. I had decided that I was definitely going to Nepal in December as I desperately needed a break from everything in Sydney. One of the reason I had been delaying my trip home was because my parents really wanted me to think about marriage. As I was far away it was easy for me to ignore them but when I would be in Kathmandu I knew that I would be forced to take a definite step.

Till then I was telling my parents I was too young and not ready. That month one of my cousins who was just a few months older than me got married. After the wedding ceremony was over, the only topic my parents could think of when I called was about my marriage.

What I thought of marriage 🙂

To get them off my back I told them to start looking for a guy for me. I had no intention of getting married soon but if my parents were happy to look for someone for me, I thought I will let them do that. I can always say no to anyone they showed me anyway. I know it sounds so evil but that is what I did.

After making those decisions I wrote to AS and a few of my other friends letting them know that I was going to Kathmandu in December.

Hello,

Hope u are doing well.

Just want to let you know that I will be going to Nepal this 10 December for 4 weeks. Just bought the ticket so it is final now 🙂

Let me know if any of u are coming to Kathmandu the same. If possible try to come so it can be reunion for all of us.

GTG.Take care

M

The post is getting long so I will write more in next post. Hope you will come back and read more

Go to Part 5

You may also like :

*Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story : LA Airport – Part 2 *Our Story : The Beginning – Part 1

16 Comments

Posted in Our Story, Relationship

Tagged , , , ,

Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3

Posted on March 15, 2013 | 16 comments

This is continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous post here, Part 1 and Part 2.

AS was really nice and I was glad for his company during the 12 hours at LA airport. Without his company, 12 hours in LA would have been hell. I really don’t know what I had been thinking while booking that flight. But my friend in Florida had told me to book an early flight to LA just in case there were some changes in my domestic flight schedule since, he said that it was normal for domestic flights to get cancelled or delayed and he didn’t want me to miss my flight to Sydney. So AS being there at the airport was a blessing for me (in more ways than I knew at that time) and it was great to catch up with an old friend.

It was a really long flight back to Sydney. I was so tired that I think I slept for more than 10 hours out of 16 hours flight time. During my stay in US, I flew and travelled between different states so many times that I hadn’t had a proper night of sleep for weeks. Staying in new places every few days didn’t help either. So resting during the flight back to Sydney seemed like the best idea.

I woke up a few times during the flight for food and to go to the loo, other than that I just rested. It didn’t feel like I was in a plane for 16 hours when the pilot announced to fasten the seat belts for landing.

Finally when I landed in Sydney airport, I felt like I was home again. It is always nice to be back in familiar surroundings after a long holiday. It was Monday 8 am Sydney time, a winter morning. I was sure my body was still on US time making me sleepy and tired. But I had promised my boss that I would be back at work the same day. I used to teach in a University those days and it was important that I didn’t miss the classes. I really don’t know what I was thinking. I thought I would enjoy as much time as possible in US so booked the last flight out of the country. Anyway I caught a cab home, had a shower, changed into a fresh outfit and went to work.

I was still very tired but I made through the day. I don’t remember much but I was glad when I finished for the day. When I returned home that night, I just slept like a baby for the next 12 hours. I went to work the next day as well. I was still tired but started showing symptoms of flu. It was summer in US and when I came back to Sydney, it was winter. My body was having a hard time adjusting. I am sure my holiday in US had been really hectic. I fell really sick by Wednesday that I couldn’t go to work.

It really scared me when I started sneezing and coughing really bad and had high fever. I wished my mum was there to look after me. I felt so alone and lonely. It is what happens when you stay so far away from your parents that they can’t be there when you need them the most. My brother and SIL were there but in the afternoon they had to go to work leaving me alone at home.

Around that time Swine flu was spreading around the world and US was one of the major places where it was reported.

Sydney airport had thermal imaging to check for flu fevers (heat) installed so it was definitely very serious.

When my fever didn’t go down even after 2 days I went and saw the doctor and following conversation occurred.

Doctor: What’s wrong with you?

Me: I have flu, cough and high fever.

Doctor: From when you started feeling sick.

Me: It started from last 3 days but I have to tell you that I have just come back from USA. I am really scared that it might be Swine flu as I have all the symptoms.

Doctor: I will ignore what you said last because if I determine that it is Swine flu, I have to inform Department of Health. Then they will take you away for quarantine and you may be under their observation for months. So we will treat this as normal flu. Let’s see how we go.

I was really scared after hearing that from the doctor. I bought all the medicines he prescribed and went back home.

I still had high fever and was so tired that I was in bed for a whole week. First few days, I couldn’t do much so I was not using internet at all. But on the 4th day when I opened my laptop finally, I saw a friend request from AS in my Facebook. I couldn’t believe my eyes that he had also sent me an email. It was definitely something I was not expecting but felt good to read his email.

Here is the email.

Subject: Shree Ganesh

Hey M,

That was just a profile pic in Facebook to let people know that I’m still alive 🙂

Enjoy being back in Sydney and teaching to the poor poor students. I really pity them. I can distinctly imagine you standing with a stick in your hand, the specs on your eyes teaching those kids… 😀 ha ha ha

and I’m still waiting on the pictures from you…

Truly,

AS

Hindus normally pray to God Ganesh before starting something new. So it was a humours way of AS to have a subject as Shree Ganesh after he opened a Facebook account. He definitely made me laugh. And I was glad that he created a Facebook account so we could keep in touch more.

He had sent that email two days ago so I replied him straight away.

hey

here are the pics u r waiting for

We didn’t take many pics but still gud memories with few pics. Thanks you once again for your company. It was fun.

For now I am still adjusting my life here and fixing my new place. Bit sick for last few days.

anyway nice to see u active and social in fb and email

keep it up and take care

M

I went and checked his Facebook and it had one photo on it. It was a close up shot of him in dark blue t-shirt smiling at the camera.

After this exchange of emails, I didn’t hear from him for a couple of months (no surprise). I got better and thanked god it was not Swine flu. The job was hectic so was my social life which kept me busy. When I had free time, I went through my photos from US. It was nice to remember a great holiday I had in US.I selected a few and uploaded them in Facebook to share with my friends and family. I uploaded a few pictures I had with AS and tagged him. I hoped he checked his Facebook. He was MIA again. I never saw him online in Facebook or messenger and he never had any activities in his Facebook either.

The post is getting long so I will write more in the next post. Hope you will come back and read more 🙂

Go to Part 4

You may also like :

*Our Story : The Beginning – Part 1 *Our Story : LA Airport – Part 2 *10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post

16 Comments

Posted in Our Story, Relationship

Tagged , , , , , , ,

10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post

Posted on March 14, 2013 | 10 comments

I decided to change the title of my last two posts. I started to write about “Knowing AS better” but it looks like it is going to be story of our life. So I will be writing “Knowing AS better” as part of “Our Story” series now.

Please read my previous post here and here to make sense of this post. One of my regular reader, Yatin left the following comments with 10 questions in my last post.

It was really nice and interesting to read his comments/ questions. While I was replying to the comment, I thought it would be nice for the rest of my readers to know more about me and AS. So here are his questions with my replies. I hope Yatin won’t mind my initiative.

First of all thank you Yatin for visiting my blog regularly and being a loyal reader :). BTW I love your blog as it is witty and your sense of humour is awesome 🙂

Long post so of course a long response from a (disappearing and showing up again) loyal reader …


1) I always coach my Son no task is smaller in life, you have to take it in a stride – and now I can go give him a living example; pulling a luggage cart at airport can earn a reward of a lifetime!

Hahaha, this is really funny. I am sure when AS was pulling my luggage in LA he didn’t have a grand plan to marry me one day (or had he? :)). But definitely no task is small in life. You are a great dad for giving your son life lesson from now on.

2) How did you convince him to sign up on Facebook? My wife still doesn’t have one, she uses mine.

Because of the fact he used to like me (I didn’t know that then), it must have made my job easy to make him sign up for Facebook. But I told him many times before we met in LA as well and it took a while for him to act on it. But the initial months even he had an account it was of no use as he didn’t do anything with it.

I have to admit if there had not been Facebook, maybe we wouldn’t have been together now.


3) Male friends are fine but I bet bringing a date home would have a different reaction!;)

I never dated anyone during my school life in Nepal. I used to think it was waste of time. To be in love and all you get is a broken heart at the end of it. As I was such a tomboy, I never thought to enter into a relationship.

Don’t get me wrong. I got proposals from many guys. The first guy ever to give me a love letter got a punishment form a teacher because I complained to the teacher. (We are friends now and he is happily married so it didn’t leave him traumatise if you are wondering). We were in class 3 then and I used to be very studious and the class captain. I took the letter as an insult to me thinking how he dare he propose to me. Hahaha it sounds all funny now but poor guy; I am glad after that I decided not to go to that extreme but simply ignored them.

So I never had a boyfriend then so didn’t have to think about what my parents’ would think of them.

4) I was raised vegetarian too but started to make an exception on poultry for the same reason. On the contrary my wife never changed and also raising kids vegetarian!!

The first time I ate meat again, I hated it but now I can’t imagine being vegetarian again. I choose not to eat meat now and then but I don’t think I will go back eating veggies only anytime soon.

I believe it is not hard to live as vegetarian in US and Australia but definitely it lowers your choices.

5) So “husband and a kid” does that qualify as an innocent lie or a calculated prank to shake up the senses!!! 😉 humm

I have to admit I was really annoyed with AS because of his disappearing act. I had many other friends who used to stay in touch with me but AS used to always disappear. I must have been in a bad mood when I decided to write to him about a husband and kid.

It was definitely a prank just to annoy him. I had nothing else in my mind when I wrote that line .You will read in my coming post that my mind about AS was clear from day one. We were just friends and nothing more. I wrote that email and completely forgot about it.

Poor him, almost a year, he had the impression that I was married with a kid. I kind of think that was the very reason he didn’t meet me in LA the first time. What will you do meeting a friend with a husband and a kid when you are alone.

6) The T-shirt you wearing at airport with trolley donning I love US – Do you really mean it or it’s just another shirt!
If former is true your on my elite buddy list. There’s a lot of bad press out there about US & whole lot of mis-conception about Americans so I admire people who like me in spite being in US 🙂

First of all, I like you in spite of your location.

 My T-shirt said “I love LA”. . I do love US. It was one country I always wanted to visit and I was over the moon when I got to go on my big holiday. So when I saw this t-shirt in Venice beach I had to get it and I wore it many times when I was there and back in Australia as well.

So you can put me in your elite buddy list 🙂

7) The Pic of yours with Nasdaq bull – I used to work only a block away!!!

If only I knew about you then, we could have had coffee together 🙂

8) great love story but it’s not complete until we get the other half (I get it this is the better half – but still the other half; the real half) If AS is busy I volunteer to write his part – a fiction as a guest post – him your 10th anniversary “circa trances under which I nodded” 🙂

I asked AS when I started these posts few days ago if he would like to tell his side of story. He sweetly declined and his exact words were, “There are a few things in my life which is very private and close to my heart. I am not ready to share it with the world yet.”

I respect his decision so I am telling my side of the story only. If some day he is ready, I will definitely share his story too.

9) In all seriousness truly an intriguing love story. Love comes back full circle on your case literally around the globe.

I still can’t believe that I am married to AS sometimes. We were together in Nepal but nothing happened. Then we went a world apart to US and Australia but still manage to find each other at the end. It took more than 7 years but we ended up together. I think that is what destiny is. If something is written for you, it will happen no matter how far you are and no matter how long it takes.

10) Tell AS that he is the luckiest person on earth. People go distance to find true love, he is one blessed soul – true love has found him from a distance!

I will make sure AS reads this post.

AS knows he is a lucky guy and tells me all the time. He surprises me with his kind words and lovely gestures.

His love is very special to me as well. I know I will never find someone else who will love me so much and the way he loves me. I am a better person since he came to my life. I have to say both of us are lucky to have found each other 🙂

I hope you are happy with my response. Thank you once again Yatin.

You may also like :

*<a title="Permalink to Arranged marriage: My perspective" hr

10 Comments

Posted in Our Story, Relationship

Tagged , , , ,