Category Archives: Nepali Culture

Don’t insist on Alcohol

Posted on September 1, 2012 | 4 comments

I have seen time and time again that in parities especially if the host is Nepali, they kind of insist on you having alcohol. It’s kind of a cultural thing to insist but it has always bugged me and it still does.

I have seen that happen with my dad in Nepal. They will offer him drinks and if he says he has had have enough, their respond will always be “Just have one more”. Come on, when the person who is drinking said enough already, it is not a good idea to offer him/her more alcohol.

After coming to Australia, the situation is same all the time. Especially among men, it is like a pride to drink as much as one can. If someone says no, they will insist until he takes another one. Even if someone says that he is driving; they will say one will be fine.

I know we are not kids any more so if you really don’t want to drink, then we can say no and stick to it. But I think these people who insist on making others drunk sometime forget that people have their own limits and they know it better than anyone else. So why keep insisting for one more when the drinker already said NO.

We hear about drink driving tragedy every day and still people are so unaware of their act when they offer drinks.

I don’t drink alcohol. I have tasted a few drinks but I hate the smell of most alcohol. So when I go to the parties and someone offered me a drink, I just decline. They will insist but I decline and stay firm in my decision. Few people will just insist once while other get disappointed and have asked me, “From when did you stop drinking?” I found it surprising because I never drank so how come I didn’t know the period I used to drink. So to avoid the hassles these day my excuse is, “I am driving” instead of “I don’t drink”. Some people do leave me alone but then there are some who will say “A few drinks will be fine. Just take one. As in Australia, driving with alcohol limit less that 0.5 is not illegal if you hold full licence.”

I know as a non-drinker I don’t know how it feels to be drunk and enjoy drinking. AS drinks and I have never stopped him but I am glad that he know his limit and I have never seen him out of control. But I have seen lots of people who go crazy and loud after getting drunk. My point is, if one already said NO for the drink, no one should insist on them to have more.  Sometime that insistence might make someone drink one more and he/she can easily miscalculate his/her capacity.

Also I never understood –

Why do so many people choose getting drunk as their favourite activity?

Why do people like getting drunk at parties so much?

Why do people like going and getting drunk in a crowd of other drunken people at a bar?

Social drinking is always acceptable but why drink to get drunk? Just enjoy a few drinks and be a responsible drinker. And never insist on anyone to have more drinks. You can offer all you like but never insist. And never DRINK and DRIVE.

To all the Nepali people, please stop insisting on drinks once the person has said NO.

If you are one of the people who enjoy drinking, look at some of the benefits of not drinking. 🙂

  • save money
  • less hassles from family
  • sleep better
  • have more energy
  • have a clear head
  • be less depressed
  • lose weight
  • better physical shape
  • reduce the risk of hypertension, liver disease, brain damage, cancer, accidents

4 Comments

Posted in Nepali Culture, Social Issue

Kushe Aushi (Father’s Day)

Posted on August 17, 2012 | 11 comments

Today is Kushe Aushi in Nepal which is Nepali Father’s day.  Kush is a type of holy grass. There is a tradition to bring Kush home on this day of Aunshi (no moon day). Hence, this day is called Kushe Aushi.

 As I have mentioned in many of my posts before, Nepal has a different calendar than the Gregorian calendar. So in Nepal people also celebrate Father’s day on a different day than the western calendar. In Australia, Father’s Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of September every year but in Nepali calendar, it changes every year according to the positions of sun, moon and the planets. It falls on the last day of the dark fortnight of August or early September. This year, it happens to be today, 17 August 2012. It is commonly known as Buwa ko Mukh Herne in Nepal which translates into looking at father’s face.

As I mentioned in my previous post regarding Mother’s day, this day is very similar to Mother’s day and we cook yummy food for dad. Mostly mum will be do the cooking in reality but we give that to dad  :). Like Mother’s day Mum makes Sagun and we give that to dad.

Both my parents don’t have their dad anymore so every father’s day they prepare sida daan for a priest. Sida is a holy mixture of rice grains and other pure food materials and a collection of clothes.. They have a shower first thing in the morning and go to the priest’s house to give sida to the priest. During Kuse Aunse Hindus from all over Nepal, whose fathers have passed away descend on Gokarneswar Madadev Temple to worship and take holy dips, and present offerings. They also do Sraddha or pinda daan to their deceased father and some do Shradha at home or at the near river or at any holy place nearby.

Kuse Aunse , Father's Day

Mythology has placed the Gokarna shrine from prehistoric times when Lord Shiva hid himself in the Pashupatinath forest, disguised as a one-horned golden deer, from the gods and mankind. While he spent his days frolicking, the world suffered so Lord Vishnu, the preserver, Lord Brahma, the creator and Lord Indra, the king of Gods, took matters into their hands and searched for him. Finally a goddess revealed Shiva’s disguise. So when they finally caught the deer by the horn , it burst into fragments and Shiva revealed himself. He asked the other three gods to establish his horn in their three worlds. So, Vishnu installed his section in his abode in Vaikuntha, Indra in his realm in heaven and Brahma enshrined it at the sacred site of Gokarneshwor. The following day the gods and goddesses descended and bathed in Bagmati river, paid homage to Shiva and established the present day tradition of ancestor worship at Gokarna.

As I have describe in my previous post, in Nepal the first year of marriage is considered to be very important. So during every festival, there are things you are meant to do. This affects how you celebrate Dashain, Tihar, Father’s Day, Mother’s day and more. Last year, I had my first Father’s day after my wedding and my MIL made sure it was a special one for my dad. Here are some photos from the day.

Kuse Aunse , Father's Day

Kuse Aunse , Father's DayKuse Aunse , Father's DayKuse Aunse , Father's DayKuse Aunse , Father's DayThis year I have sent some gifts for my dad already and he will get them today. After work I am going to Skype with him. It is always so nice to see him happy.

So if you haven’t called you dad to wish him, do give him a call and make him smile. And to all the proud dads out there, Happy Father’s Day.

Here is one of the Father-daughter song form Nepali movie. Hope you will like it.

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Posted in Family, Nepali Culture, Nepali Festivals

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Nwaran for my nephew

Posted on August 3, 2012 | 3 comments

Baby BJ was 11 days old last Friday so we had a ceremony held for him called Nwaran.

The ceremony is also known as Machabu Byakegu in Newari. It takes place on the  11th day from birth. This ceremony is performed to give a birth name to a child according to his/her lunar horoscope, this is usually not the name by which he/she will be known. This ceremony is normally small and celebrated amongst close family.

We are lucky to have a friend who is also a priest. He gave us a list of things that are required for the day and everything was ready when he arrived at my brother’s place at 8.30 am.

The main ceremony was conducted in the balcony of my brother’s apartment.  Before the priest arrived we had cleaned and mopped the place. So, when he arrived, he started making a Mandap on the balcony. Once it was ready he asked my brother to come and join him for the Puja.

He had all his books of mantras and it took more than an hour for the first phase of the Puja to finish. It involved lots of mantra reciting from the books and lots of different Pujas to God, with candles on the Mandap.

Then he asked my Sister in law and Baby BJ to join the Puja. He chanted more mantras from the book. Then he asked my SIL to perform Puja to the sun. Then he put tika on Baby BJ’s forehead and gave him a piece of paper which had details required to make his Jaata (lunar horoscope chart). It will be done by my parents in Nepal.

Then we took little BJ for Surya Darshan, i.e. to let the sunray fall on him as a blessing. He was also given a holy cloth with his birth name written on it.

Then he put Tika on my brother, SIL and then the rest of us. He also put Janai (holy string) around our wrists.

After that all of us put Tika on baby BJ as our blessings.  Little BJ got lots of gifts from all of us, mainly clothes and toys.

After the Puja was concluded we had our morning brunch.

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Posted in Family, Nepali Culture, Newari Culture

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Chhaithi for my nephew

Posted on July 24, 2012 | 11 comments

AS I mentioned in my post Nwaran and Pasni previously, there a so many rituals in Hindu culture when one has  a baby. Now that I have a nephew, we need to follow the rituals and one of them is called Chhaithi (sixth day) as it is performed on the sixth day after a child’s birth. So yesterday I went to my brother’s place after work to celebrate the Chhaithi of my little nephew.

For Chhaithi, the fufu (baby’s dad’s sister, or the baby’s paternal aunt) will need to bring some koseli (gifts for the baby) which includes fruits and sweet along with a new pair of clothes for the baby. She will also bring a notebook and a pen/pencil.

So to start the Chhaithi, the fufu sits with the infant on the ground and they are be surrounded by 12 oil lamps (diyo, we used tea light candles instead) and one more diyo is also lighted for god.  A puja thali is prepared which is used to put tika on baby’s forehead. Then the baby will be changed into the new clothes.

After that everyone else (starting from the fufus) will put tika on the baby’s forehead and give some money or other gifts to the fufu. The last one will be the baby’s father who will give some gift to his sister and take the baby from her.

After the ceremony when the baby goes to sleep, the notebook and pen is kept on his bed side along with one of the candles. It is believed until that day , the baby’s fortune is not written so that night, god will come and write his fortune using that notebook and pen.

Proud Parents

It was my first experience to be a part of baby’s life from their early days. I really enjoyed it. This Friday we will be celebrating his Nwaran.

BTW, they have a name for the baby now and I will be referring him as Baby BJ from now on.

11 Comments

Posted in Family, Nepali Culture, Newari Culture

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Nwaran and Pasni

Posted on May 22, 2012 | 21 comments

As you must have noticed by now, Nepali people have lots of celebrations and functions. When a baby is born there are many celebrations as well.

The first ceremony is called Nwaran (analogous to baptism ceremony). It is also known as Machabu Byakegu in Newari. It takes place on the 11th day. This ceremony is performed to give a birth name to a child according to his/her lunar horoscope, this is usually not the name by which he/she will be known. This ceremony is normally small and celebrated amongst close family.

Then there is Pasni ceremony which is also known as rice feeding ceremony or Weaning Ceremony. This ceremony is also called Annaprashan which in Sanskrit term, literally means grain initiation. It is the first time the baby is fed solid food. It is called Macha Junko in Newari.

Pasni is normally held after 6 months from birth for a baby is boy while if it is a baby girl, it is held after the fifth or seventh month. The day and time will be fixed after consulting a priest/astrologer.

As I have attended a few Pasnis lately, I am sharing the photos and procedure of Pasni here.

The ceremony begins at home. On the morning of Pasni, the baby will be showered and wrapped in a towel for the ceremony to begin. The Fufu (Babies dad’s sister) of the baby will hold the baby during this ceremony. Normally Fufu and other women in the family wear red sari.

Special Pasni dress

kalli

The place where the ceremony is to be held is cleaned and all the required ritual puja plate and food are arranged. Then the elder lady of the family will start the puja with the help of the priest. The first step is to put tika on the forehead of the baby, then the baby is given a special outfit, usually made of red velvet and embroidered with silver and golden threads. Gold and silver ornaments are also given to the baby, like heavy silver anklets (kalli) carved with dragon at both the ends to keep the bad omens away from the baby as well as gold bracelet.

Once it is handed over, the baby is dressed in this special outfit and the ornaments and further ritual starts. First the baby is given dubo ko mala (a garland of holy grass). Then it is followed by puja and symbolic feeding of kheer (rice pudding) or the first bite of solid food. The baby is then offered all kinds of foods to taste from Thaa bu (a plate which has eggs, yogurt, wine, fruits, Roti, meat, fish) .

Thaa Bu

Baby will be also offered a tray of stuffs like books symbolising learning, jewels symbolising wealth, a pen symbolising wisdom, clay symbolising property, food items symbolising a love for food (There can be anything symbolising a career. A friend of mine had stethoscope symbolising a doctor) and it is believed that depending on what the baby pickes, it will determine his/her future career. Family and friends have a great time cheering the little one while he makes his choice.

Baby trying to pick a object during pasni ceremony

There are lots of food and gifts given to the child from his/her mother’s family. It will also include Sagun. Sagun typically consists of a boiled egg, smoked fish, a bara (pan-fried black lentil patties), haku chhoila (smoked buffalo meat) and aila (wine) and ends with dhau (yogurt). Also all the family and relatives bless the baby with gifts or money. It’s a beautiful and elaborate ritual.

Sagun

After that maternal uncle (mum’s brother) carries the baby to the nearest temple so the baby can get blessing from the gods. In front of the temple, the baby is fed with some Prasad (offerings) and this will conclude the ceremony.

It is an occasion for celebration, and family and friends are invited to attend. These days Pasni ceremonies in Kathmandu are very lavish and are held in party function rooms much like a wedding ceremony. The guests, numbering in their hundreds bring gifts for the child and party late into the night.

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Posted in Nepal, Nepali Culture

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