Category Archives: Newari Culture

Chhaithi for Chhori

First of all thank you everyone for lovely message and sorry for not posting as frequently as before but as you can imagine I am too busy feeding, changing nappies and looking after Chhori that there is no time for anything else. If there is any spare time, I would love to sleep but sleeping for long periods of time seems like a distant dream right now.

As you all know there are lots of rituals in Hindu culture when one has a baby. Now with Chhori, we want to follow all the rituals as well even though we are not in Nepal. The first ritual we performed is called Chhaithi.

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Chhaithi ceremony is performed when the baby is six days old and takes place late in the evening.

For Chhaithi, the fufu (baby’s dad’s sister, or the baby’s paternal aunt) will need to bring some koseli (gifts for the baby) which includes fruits and sweet along with a new pair of clothes for the baby. She will also bring a notebook and a pen.

In our case, as AS doesn’t have any sister here, the ceremony was performed by my SIL.

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So to start the Chhaithi, my SIL sat with Chhori surrounded by 12 tea light candles (traditionally we use oil lamps) and one more candle was lighted for god.

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According to tradition, there is a belief that on the 6th day after the birth of the child,  Vidhaata (Goddess of destiny) would quietly enter the house around midnight to pen the destiny of the newborn. Traditionally the mother of the newborn lights a lamp and this lamp along with a pen and paper given by fufu are placed on a wooden plank for Vidhaata to write the future of the newborn.

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After my SIL finished performing the ritual, everyone else in the family performed the rituals by giving Chhori money and gifts. Then I gave my SIL gifts and she gave the baby back to me.

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After the ceremony when the Chhori went back to sleep, we placed the notebook and pen next to the bassinet along with one of the candles.

I prayed to the Goddess that she be given a bright future with a healthy life.

This concludes the first of many rituals my Chhori will have in her life.

Till  next post take care everyone,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Dahi Chiura Ceremony

As I mentioned in my previous post, I had my baby shower but I was waiting for my parents to arrive from Nepal to do a traditional baby shower, also known as Dahi chiura ceremony in Nepali or Dhau-baji in Newari.

In this ceremony, the mother-to-be’s family comes to feed Dhau-baji (yogurt and flattened/beaten rice) and brings Sagun and lots of food along with gifts for the mother-to-be as well as the unborn baby.

My parents have arrived in Sydney now so I am extremely happy as I will have a helping hand to look after the little one for the first few months. I could not imagine how I would have managed if they were not here.

Last weekend, my parents along with the help of my brother and SIL organised the Dahi Chiura ceremony. It was a traditional ceremony with the ladies all wearing saris.

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My mum made Yomari and sagun (bara, boiled eggs, chicken and fish) for the occasion and bought some sweets, fruits and cakes as well. They also bought clothes for me along with jewelleries as well as things for little one.

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It was a family affair with just me, AS, my parents, brother, SIL and my little nephew.

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For the ceremony, my mum followed the followings steps, if anyone wants to know. It might be different for different cultures but I believe the basic will remain the same.

Dhai Chiura (6) Dhai Chiura (7)

  • The ritual started with my mother worshipping Lord Ganesh in the Sukanda. She put tika made of vermillion, rice and yogurt and flowers on Lord Ganesh..
  • Then she put tika for me and AS.
  • Then she gave us the gifts of fruits, sweets, clothes, and jewelleries.
  • This was followed by Sagun and then the main event of dahi chiura, where everyone feeds me dahi chiura.
  • Everyone was given Sagun and sweet as well after this.
  • Thus the main event of dahi chiura is was conclude.
  • Cake is normally not a traditional inclusion for dahi chiura but we had one so I and AS cut the cake together

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For many reasons, the dahi chiura ceremony is one of my favourite celebrations for our coming daughter.

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In addition to normal family dahi chiura, the pregnant mother is often invited by her relatives to eat meals with them. I had invited many of my family and friends who were pregnant to my place and done the same ceremony so it is my turn to be invited to my close friends and family’s place for the dahi chiura ceremony as well.

It was really nice of all of them to get involved making me and the baby feel special. Here are some of the pics from various occasions of dahi chiura. I was spoiled with lots of blessings, yummy foods and lots of useful gifts .

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I am so glad that we are keeping Nepali traditional alive living so far from home and I want to show all these photos to my daughter one day and explain the traditions and culture.

Hope you enjoyed the traditional way of Nepali/Newari baby shower.

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO 

Our Story : Bride side Reception ceremony- Part 42

This is a continuation of my previous posts. Please read the previous posts here.

My family had not had a chance to throw a big party for a while so this reception was more of a reason for my family to invite everyone to celebrate. In Nepal, you need to invite all your relatives, your neighbours and friends if anyone gets married. So to have close to 1000 guest is very normal. When we started the guest list, we thought it won’t be a lot but then we added up all the relatives and extended relatives, my parents’ friends, my friends, my brother’s friends and my uncles and aunts friends, the big number was inevitable. And this number didn’t include Groom and his family. They don’t attend this reception as, it is only for the Bride’s family. This is a tradition in Newari / Nepali wedding.

Wedding Ceremony

Surprisingly, the party venue was well equipped for more than 2000+ guests so it was not a problem at all.

In Nepali/Newari culture, you give all your close female relatives and friends Sari as wedding gift and they wear that at the reception. My mum usually gets at least a few from her relatives and friends each year. So this time it was our turn. Mum had already picked the red Sari and has ordered 60 of them. She picked the same Sari for everyone and had already given it to them.

Wedding Ceremony

For the reception, I was more relaxed than before. It was just a party with hundreds of people but all of them are my friends and relatives.

Wedding Ceremony

Like every bride, I wanted to look my best for the wedding and I am glad I was happy with the choices of clothes and accessories. My parents had gone well above and beyond my expectation and bought me so many sets of jewellery that I was lucky enough to be able to pick different ones for different functions.

Wedding Ceremony

I wore a marron lengha with bead and pearl work on it. It was expensive but I convinced myself that I get married once so it was all worth the money. I went to the beauty parlour again to do my hair and make-up. I wore golden shoes with flower and golden clutch (both gifts from my new MIL).

Wedding Ceremony

I was happy with the final outcome as the hairdresser followed my instruction so well and did the hair exactly the way I wanted it.

Wedding Ceremony

Once I was done at the beauty salon, I went home where the photographer was waiting for me. We had planned to take a few shots at home before going to the venue. I had photos at home with my parents, brother, sister in law and a few friends.

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Then we all headed toward the party venue.

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Guests were invited from 6pm. All our close relatives were there already when we arrived, woman and girls wearing red Saris given by mum. The stage was close to the main entrance and that is where I was going to stay for the rest of the night. I had my cousin and friends for company as guests started arriving.

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Within an hour, the empty venue was filled with guests, some of whom I knew , some I have not seen for years and some I had never met. Some handed me flowers and others envelope with money. I greeted them, talked with them and made small conversation before they moved on to the hall to start the dinner and snacks.Wedding Ceremony

The party was in full swing and I could see everyone enjoying the evening. At one end of the hall, there was the cocktail area and on the other side, there was dinner area. There was loud music going on with DJ playing all types of music and many of the guests were on the dance floor.

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Guests as little as 1 year old and as old as 70 years old were rocking the dance floor. I couldn’t leave to join them on the dance floor yet as there were more guests coming. I was still busy greeting the guest and talking to them for next few hours.

Wedding Ceremony Wedding Ceremony

Looking around I was happy everyone seemed to be enjoying and eating. I had my friends from kindergarten to high school there. Most of them were there with their partners and kids. It was so nice to see all of them at my wedding after so many years. All of them made me feel like I never left Nepal and were so welcoming and nice.

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After few more hours when guests stopped arriving, I was free to leave the stage and join my friends and family on the floor. I went to the dance floor and danced my heart away. It was so much fun and was on the dance floor for almost an hour. Everyone was dancing around me and I felt really happy.

Wedding CeremonyBride side reception (16)Bride side reception (15)

After 10 pm, guests started leaving slowly and it was time for the family to have dinner as well. When things were winding down, I felt really good and both my parents were so happy that things went without a hitch. I was so happy and relieved at the same time that I had no appetite at all. Still someone got me a plate of food and I have no recollection what I ate.

I was tired from getting up and sitting down constantly.

On top of that I had to have a big smile on my face all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I was very happy but constantly smiling was hurting my face.

Wedding Ceremony

To be quite honest, my wedding reception was by far the most fun party I had during the whole process. Everything I planned went well and it was pretty awesome.  Everything turned out exactly how I wanted it.  Everyone I cared about was there and I was so honoured to have so many friends and family there. My parents were extremely proud of the reception as everyone was raving about how much they enjoyed and they loved the food.

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After it was all over, we went home and I couldn’t wait to go to bed. Every muscle in my body was tired. On top of that, next day was Janti so I would have to wake up early.

More on the wedding in the next post.

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

P.S: Do not forget to vote your favorite blog . NEPALIAUSTRALIAN’s Blog Award 2014

Part 43

Our Story : Mehendi ceremony- Part 39

This is a continuation of my previous posts. Please read the previous posts here.

Finally after so many ups and down, the wedding rituals began. The first ritual was the Mehendi ceremony.

Nepali wedding, Newari wedding, Nepali bride , Nepali groom, Traditional Nepali wedding, Nepali wedding Sari

Mehendi ceremony is not a traditional part in Nepali wedding but I wanted to do something similar to hen’s night in Nepal. I did have a hen’s night in Australia but I still wanted to do something in Nepal with my cousins and friends as well to remember my wedding as a fun ceremony.

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Mehendi means henna and, during this ceremony, a henna artist applies mehendi to the bride’s hands and feet, as well as to the hands of all female relatives and friends. This is purely done for decoration and to make the bride look even more beautiful on her wedding day. So I arranged a person to come to my place to put Mehendi on. I invited all my close female relatives and good friends. So it was going to be a girl’s night with Mehendi and music.

Nepali wedding, Newari wedding, Nepali bride , Nepali groom, Traditional Nepali wedding, Nepali wedding Sari

I went for bridal Mehendi while all my friends and family had simpler ones. The bridal designs are so intricate, that they require several hours to be drawn and then to dry. My mehendi took more than 3 hours. It was hard spending 3 hours sitting on a chair, with somebody painting your hands and feet, you just cannot move even to eat, drink, go to the loo or basically do anything at all except for talking.

Nepali wedding, Newari wedding, Nepali bride , Nepali groom, Traditional Nepali wedding, Nepali wedding Sari

I waited for another hour for the mehendi to get a little dry and then applied a mixture of lemon and sugar. It is supposed to make it darker. Whole day passed with us having fun while the mehendi guy was applying mehendi to everyone’s hand.

Nepali wedding, Newari wedding, Nepali bride , Nepali groom, Traditional Nepali wedding, Nepali wedding Sari

The mehendi was followed, in the evening, by dancing and music. It was great to see people dancing including my aunts and cousins and having fun. My mum was also having a great time and even though she was busy at the same time as she was making lunch for the guests. It was worth all the effort and money I paid the guy at the end of the day.

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When I scrubbed off the dried out Mehendi, it had left a deep red coloured design. It is a common belief that the darker the colour of the mehndi on the hands on a bride, the more will she be loved by her husband. I was thinking, of course I know that and that is the reason I am getting married to him 🙂

Wedding Ceremony

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

P.S: Do not forget to vote your favorite blog . NEPALIAUSTRALIAN’s Blog Award 2014

Go to Part 40

Nirbuni for my nephew (second birthday)

I swear it feels like yesterday that I told you I had a new man in my life (my li’l nephew) and gosh it has been two years now. Even though he was born in 18 July, we celebrated his birthday on 26th of July which was determined by his birth chart and our own Nepali calendar.

Since his birth, he has given joy to everyone including his parents, us, my parents and my sister in law’s parents. When he was visiting last month to Nepal, he was the apple of the eye and was spoiled rotten by everyone.

Strangely, for reasons unknown and out of traditions handed down from generation to generation, the first birthday of a child is not celebrated by Newars. When a child is born, he will have chhaiti, nawaran then pasni. After pasni, the big celebration is second birthday, which is known as Nirbuni in Newari.

According to tradition, we make Yomari every even birthday (2, 4, 6, 8, 12) until a child turns 12. Yomari is a delicacy of the Newars. It consists of an external covering of rice-flour and an inner content of sweet substances such as chaku (Molasses).

yomari

During Nirbuni, a big puja is performed and the child is given a garland made out of two yomaris. The child is also given tika and sagun and prayed to ward off evil spirits from the child’s body. If we were in Nepal, relatives would come along with gifts and sweets for the kid. Therefore, this birthday was a big deal for us.

We started Saturday making yomari and sagun. With the help of our cousin it was done and then the puja started. My nephew was good during the puja as he sat on his dad’s lap while I perform the puja.

Nirbuni  (12)I am not expert on performing the puja but this is what I did.

  • First I gave Nasala, a few drops of water, in the palm of the right hand of my nephew to sprinkle some into his mouth and the rest over his body for purification.
  • Then I put tika on Lord Ganesh with water, rice, flowers, and vermilion powder as well as a plate of sagun in front of him.
  • Then I gave water, rice, flowers, and vermilion powder to my nephew to worship the Lord Ganesh and also to all the God and Goddess by throwing the rice towards the ceiling.
  • Then I placed tika on his forehead and put a flower on his head.

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  • Then I placed the Yomari mala followed by flower mala.

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  • After that I put bits of rice, radish, coins, cucumber in a small container and poured them on his head. This is believed to take all the evil spirits away from him. I did this three times.

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  • Then,I gave Sagun to him. For Sagun, you put a plate of egg, bara (lentil cake), meat (chicken), a piece of giner and fish in the right hand and yogurt in the left hand.

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  • Once the process is finished with my nephew, I gave tika to the rest of the family, followed by sagun.

My parents and my SIL’s parents were on skype watching the ceremony. They were happy to watch all the ceremony even though they are so far away.

I also took tray of fruits, biscuits and a three piece suit for him as a birthday gift.

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He looked really adorable in the suit.

Nirbuni  (5)Then there was a party in the evening. I did the decoration and was happy with the result. It was a fun party with lots of kids.

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The house was chaotic in a good way for the rest of the evening where kids ran, laughed , danced and played.

Nirbuni  (3) Nirbuni  (2)We had a nice cake for him and the food was catered so everyone enjoyed the day. It was such a fun day and the little man was very happy with all the attention and gifts.

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On Sunday, I baked cupcakes for him to take to his childcare to celebrate his birthday. The childcare request simple individual cupcakes so I baked them myself.

Nirbuni  (6) Nirbuni  (4)Overall, it was a great nirbuni celebration for my nephew.

Wishing little man all the happiness of this world.

Take care ,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO