Category Archives: Nepal

Everything about Nepal

Happy “Asthami”

 The eighth day of Dashain is called ‘Asthami’. In Newari culture, we eat “Kuchi bhwey” to mark the day.

Yesterday, we went to my cousin’s (K didi) house and we were so happy to see that they had prepared “Kuchi bhwey”.

It consists of 9 Newari dishes which are

  • Chiura (beaten/flattened rice)
  • Chicken curry
  • Spinach
  • Black eye bean
  • Alu achaar 
  • Chicken Choila
  • Kachi La (lamb dish)
  • Fried soybean
  • Fried Garlic

    Kuchi bhwey

 It was really yummy!!!

Happy dashain!!!

Dashain aayo

As anyone who is slightly related to Nepal in anyway will know, Dashain ( 15 days long celebration of Hindu) is just around the corner. This year it starts from 28 September and Tika (Dashami) is on 6 October.

Australia is in Southern hemisphere so the weather for Dashain will be windy and wet unlike in Nepal where  it is perfect weather for celebration but we have to make most of the situation.

As this is going to be our first Dashain as married couple and we are away from our family, we are planning to have jamara on Ghatasthapana. As I have missed last 6 Dashain and AS have missed last 10 Dashain @ home, we thought having jamara will help us to be involved in our culture and at the same time I want to prove my in-laws and my mom, I can be modern and traditional at a same time. 🙂

So we are going to  get some sand. I have bought some barley seeds. I hope it will work and  turn into five or six inches long yellow grass by 6 October.

Will let you know the progress.

Happy Dashain !!!.

Our Unconventional love story …

As I mention on my previous post Big ,Loud, Crowded, Nepali wedding”, I know my husband, AS since high school. But our story is nothing like childhood sweethearts with happy ending. We were just friends at that point and never in my wildest dream thought will we end up marring each other. It is so true when they say, “You don’t know what future holds for you”.

I was ready to take next step of my life – marriage and family. The only problem with my plan is I have no plan. I didn’t know what I really want. I have never thought in my whole life I will agree with arrange marriage. But as I can’t find the man of my dream, I thought, I will hand over the duty to my parents. As my parents always nag me about marriage, I thought this will make them busy and I always can say no. They were more than willing to take the charge and was so proud that despite living abroad for almost a decade, I choose to go traditional way.

AS is not a very social person so we used to be out of touch for ages. Our email frequency used to once every 6 months. But thanks to Facebook, which I was genuinely surprised he had one, we start talking again. Our infrequent message turned into more frequent one and it was like high school all over again. We had same memories, same friends and it was easy. During this period, I told him one day what I told my parents about looking for a guy for me. To this he said that his parents are looking for a girl for him as well. And then we used to joke about how life has turned out and may be we will meet again only when both of us will be married and have kids. He used to be in US at that time and I was in Australia.

That year I decided to go home for holiday and I had 12 hours transit in Singapore airport. I told him, if he had any time I will appreciate the company over net as I don’t know what else to do in Singapore in the middle of the night. As the time difference was right for him, we chatted for almost 10 hours out of 12. (He told me later he made a special effort that stage.) I think that probably was the first time I felt more close to him. We made fun of each other and asked silly questions and it was great. I wasn’t bored at all and hoped he enjoyed it too. During this conversation, he told me he is planning to come to Nepal as well and try to make it when I will be there. I was really happy thinking at least we can meet again.

We didn’t meet until next 3 weeks but lots of things changed during that period. We used to Skype a lot and talked about my “Possible husband “. It was not that they were bad but I was not ready to meet anyone new so I just made any excuse not to meet them. And numbers of photo was increasing as my parents were determined to find someone before I leave Nepal.

I think my frequent mention of these eligible bachelor made AS realise that the plan he had to express his love for me after he sees me Nepal can’t wait till then. He has to do something otherwise I may be engaged before he knows it. So while we were talking on phone one day, late at night for me and early morning for him, he expressed his feeling for me. He told me how he was in love with me since our school and I am his first love who he never forgot. I was surprised that I never saw that vibe from him ever but I was happy at the same time. During last few months I felt closer to him but I was so sure he will never fall for someone like me; I even try to set him up with one of my good friend. She will kill me if she finds out now. Anyway that was how we started our journey for our happily ever after :). And after all I am not the “Arrange Marriage Type”.

What’s in the name (Surname)?

It has been exactly 90 days we have been married. 🙂

The day I announce my wedding at work, one of my colleague asked me “So you will change your surname, what’s it gonna be?” The question caught me off guard as I haven’t thought about it at all. Taking your husband’s name is the traditional option (especially in Nepal) but we never discuss it. I am sure both our family expect me to take it but I was in no rush. I have seen my friends change their surname in Facebook the day they got married (I am not sure if they have done legally too) or have used both surnames but I have always thought it can wait few years. Many women will say that their husbands/in-laws  wanted them to change their surname. So they did.

I am not against changing surname if you want to as I also want to do it before we have kids. I am planning to be MJS, mine surname followed by his.  My friend AS is the reason, I will defiantly do it before we have baby as I don’t want to go through the same path as hers.

AS decided not to change her surname when she married CJ (Nepali guy). When they have a baby girl, her mother in law came to visit her in hospital. While she was holding her new grand-daughter, she was shocked to see the tag called her, Baby S instead of Baby J. She made sure AS knows, she didn’t approve of that. But in the birth certificate, hospital wrote baby S as per mother’s surname as well. Because it was in birth certificate, they thought it will be easy to use the same surname in other official documents as well .Now the baby and mum have same surname and dad has different. It created lots of confusion in all the legal documents and I don’t want to go through that.

Back to my situation, I am planning to keep my surname until I can as I want to avoid the hassle of alerting everyone and going through all the paper work right now. Its not  easy to change the name on everything from your driver’s licence to your library card. I know I have to do it one day but mentally I am not ready right now. The most annoying change will be for my passport. I love my passport as it has so many stamps and visas I collected travelling over the years. It is like a story to me and has high sentimental value. Once I change my passport, I will lose all my memory.

All this question is coming right now because my in-laws made official document in Nepal(Relationship certificate) and they send us a copy in case we need it. In that document, they have my name as MS not MJ. My in-laws have never asked me to change it but I think they didn’t as by default in their mind, I am MS not MJ but I want to be MJS in future not MS. 

When I talk to AS about it, he thinks it is normal of his parents to think I am MS now as that in what happens in Nepal. I haven’t changed my Facebook name either (I know it is easy but …) I want to do it in my own pace and I hate it if anyone forces me to do it. He knows what I am planning and he is ok with that but of course he can’t control what his parents think.

Just want to put it out there” Am I allowed to wait until I am ready to change the surname or it is expected to change straight after marriage, especially in Nepali culture?”

Yomari Recipe

It was my nephew 4th birthday yesterday , so my cousin sister (D) decided to make Yomari to celebrate his birthday in Newari tradition. In Newari tradition, we make Yomari every even birthday (2,4,6,8,12) until a child turns 12. Yomari defined by Wikipedia is “a delicacy of  Newars. It consists of an external covering of rice-flour and an inner content of sweet substances such as  Chaku (Molasses)”

I have helped my mum make Yomari before but never knew the step. Finally I know how to make it and I am sharing here if anyone else want to experiment. So this how we did it.

yomari

Ingredients

  • Rice flour
  • Hot water
  • Sesame seed
  • Chaku(Molasses)

Steps

  • Mix rice flour with hot water and make dough. Make sure you don’t make the dough too soft. Cover the dough with a warm and damp cloth and rest it for 10-15 minutes.
  • Use fry pan to heat chaku (molasses) to get a liquid chocolate like mixture.
  • Mix Chaku and fried sesame seed.
  • In a small bowl pour some water and oil. Now take small amount of dough in a hand and make a round shape.
  • Now press the dough to make a cone-shaped crust as shown in picture.Yomari
  • One side of Yomari should have long tip and other side is hollow.
  • Fill it with mixture of molasses mixed with Sesame seed.
  • Using both hand slowly close the hole and make shape as shown in the picture.

  • Steam it for 15 min.
  • Now it is ready to serve. Enjoy!

 We made 4 with only rice stuffing inside to make Yomari mala (garland) for birthday boy  and rest was made with chaku  (Molasses) . It was yummy.

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