Tag Archives: nepali australian

Rush to Emergency

I had read somewhere that bad moments don’t make bad mammas but now I have my doubts.

As a new mum, I doubt myself lots of times; I am not sure whether I am the doing right things; whether I am taking care of my baby properly, whether my way of feeding is correct, whether I am changing her correctly and similarly there are many more doubts in my head when I am looking after my daughter. I worry that what I am doing will affect her later in her life.

Most of the time when Chhori smiles or holds onto me it makes me feel great and I forget about all the doubts. But then something happens that breaks that momentary illusion and make me again thing that I’m not as good a mum as I should be and that is one of the worst feelings to have.

Chhori (3)

A few weeks ago, I was home with my mum as usual. We were in our living room, mum was watching a movie and I was checking something on the laptop and Chhori was just lying on the ottoman. This was typical of my afternoons. The ottoman was next to me and from time to time I was talking to and playing with Chhori.

Then suddenly from the corner of my eyes I saw Chhori sliding off the ottoman and she fell on the carpeted floor even as I rushed to pick her up. It felt as if my heart leapt out of my body at that moment. The next second she started crying loudly like never before.

That was the first time Chhori rolled onto her side and we were not expecting it at all. I didn’t know what to do. I just tried to console her and checked her to make sure she was not hurt. I was almost crying myself and my mum was trying to help me calm Chhori down.

To make sure that she calmed down I fed her for a few minutes until she stopped crying. After that my mum took Chhori from me and felt her head, hands, legs to see if Chhori would cry when any specific part of the body was felt. Thankfully Chhori did not cry and we hoped that nothing was injured  In that mean time I called our local GP to take her there but as it was Friday and our normal GP was fully booked and suggested I take the baby to emergency instead.

I called AS and told him what happened. I assured him that there was no injury so he wouldn’t freak out.  But I still asked him to meet me at the hospital just in case.

My mother and I took Chhori to the emergency and waited for the doctor. By then Chhori was already her normal self, smiling and looking about with interest. I was kind of sure she was alright but still wanted to be 100% sure.

After a few minutes wait, it was our turn. The doctor did some normal check and told us that she was OK. He also told me that it is normal for kids to fall and they have many cases like that every day. He assured me that I am a good mum and accidents do happen sometimes so not to feel as if I let Chhori down.

He still wanted us to remain at the hospital for 4 hours for observation. He wanted to make sure that there was no brain injury from the fall. It was the longest 4 hours of my life as I was worried. I was praying that everything was OK with Chhori. She looked happy and was playing with her daddy and grandma.

Chhori (2)

Finally the 4 hours were over and Chhori was officially fine. She got the all clear from the doctor. We were all so relieved.

It was one of the scariest experiences I have had after having Chhori. I hope not to have to visit the emergency department ever with Chhori.

I am sure I am not the only mum who has been in such situations so please share your story and make me feel a bit better.

Hope you had a great weekend and take care, everyone.

 from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Dahi Chiura Ceremony

As I mentioned in my previous post, I had my baby shower but I was waiting for my parents to arrive from Nepal to do a traditional baby shower, also known as Dahi chiura ceremony in Nepali or Dhau-baji in Newari.

In this ceremony, the mother-to-be’s family comes to feed Dhau-baji (yogurt and flattened/beaten rice) and brings Sagun and lots of food along with gifts for the mother-to-be as well as the unborn baby.

My parents have arrived in Sydney now so I am extremely happy as I will have a helping hand to look after the little one for the first few months. I could not imagine how I would have managed if they were not here.

Last weekend, my parents along with the help of my brother and SIL organised the Dahi Chiura ceremony. It was a traditional ceremony with the ladies all wearing saris.

Dhai Chiura (14)

My mum made Yomari and sagun (bara, boiled eggs, chicken and fish) for the occasion and bought some sweets, fruits and cakes as well. They also bought clothes for me along with jewelleries as well as things for little one.

Dhai Chiura (5) Dhai Chiura (4) Dhai Chiura (3) Dhai Chiura (1)

It was a family affair with just me, AS, my parents, brother, SIL and my little nephew.

Dhai Chiura (15) Dhai Chiura (2)

For the ceremony, my mum followed the followings steps, if anyone wants to know. It might be different for different cultures but I believe the basic will remain the same.

Dhai Chiura (6) Dhai Chiura (7)

  • The ritual started with my mother worshipping Lord Ganesh in the Sukanda. She put tika made of vermillion, rice and yogurt and flowers on Lord Ganesh..
  • Then she put tika for me and AS.
  • Then she gave us the gifts of fruits, sweets, clothes, and jewelleries.
  • This was followed by Sagun and then the main event of dahi chiura, where everyone feeds me dahi chiura.
  • Everyone was given Sagun and sweet as well after this.
  • Thus the main event of dahi chiura is was conclude.
  • Cake is normally not a traditional inclusion for dahi chiura but we had one so I and AS cut the cake together

Dahi Chiura (12) Dahi Chiura (13) Dahi Chiura (16)

For many reasons, the dahi chiura ceremony is one of my favourite celebrations for our coming daughter.

Dahi Chiura (9) Dahi Chiura (10) Dahi Chiura (11)

In addition to normal family dahi chiura, the pregnant mother is often invited by her relatives to eat meals with them. I had invited many of my family and friends who were pregnant to my place and done the same ceremony so it is my turn to be invited to my close friends and family’s place for the dahi chiura ceremony as well.

It was really nice of all of them to get involved making me and the baby feel special. Here are some of the pics from various occasions of dahi chiura. I was spoiled with lots of blessings, yummy foods and lots of useful gifts .

Dahi Chiura (18)

I am so glad that we are keeping Nepali traditional alive living so far from home and I want to show all these photos to my daughter one day and explain the traditions and culture.

Hope you enjoyed the traditional way of Nepali/Newari baby shower.

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO 

Rubbing a pregnant woman’s belly

I think except for a very few times (only to close family member/friends), was I tempted to rub a pregnant woman’s tummy but for some weird reason many family, friends, even strangers felt the need to pat, rub or touch my expanding belly .

I love when my husband touches my tummy because that is the only way he can have contact with our daughter right now. Whenever she  kicked or moved especially the first few times I was so excited and I ask him to feel that with me. Seriously, those moments were priceless when we both felt the baby’s movement at the same time.

Most of the time I don’t mind my friends and family touching my tummy especially if they ask for permission first, but I have a big problem with strangers doing it.

I have to admit though that I was never approached by a stranger on the street who uninvited, just felt that they could touch my pregnant belly. I am not entirely sure what my reaction would have been had they tried. I always felt a little bit special during pregnancy as I mention before, as people were kinder, they would strike up a conversation with me, just give me a knowing smile. It is a serene time in many ways.

 I would feel very scared and worried if a strange asked if it is ok to touch my tummy. I might be OK if the stranger is a woman but men, definitely a big NO NO.

What is it about a pregnant woman’s belly that makes the common sense rules of personal space fly out the window?

May be I should get one of these t-shirts.

I really think it is a personal choice if you feel good when someone rubs your pregnant tummy. We all have different limits we feel as our own personal space. Some feel violated if their pregnant belly is touched, others welcome and love it. For me I am in the middle. As long as it is not too much, I really don’t mind.

Where do you stand on this matter? Do share your experience regarding this.

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO 

There must be something in the water

I have always heard the phase “there must be something in water”. So when someone gets pregnant and all of a sudden it feels like everyone around is pregnant. It’s an old wives tale that there are always more than one person pregnant at a time around you. Remember a while ago, I even complained that there are so many babies and pregnant women around.

It seemed so true because I remember that when my SIL was pregnant, I also had cousin in law and one of our friends pregnant as well. They had babies just 4 weeks apart.

In my case, the first time I found out that I was pregnant we decided to wait till after 12 weeks to tell everyone but in that time before I announced my pregnancy, I found out that few of my colleagues were pregnant.

baby shower (20)

I work for a medium sized company, which has around 150 people in my building. Out of that, more than half are men but to my surprise, in total 6 of us were pregnant around the same time. 4 of them had babies recently and are on leave already. There are only 2 of us left who needs to pop.

While all of us were at work, it was really amazing as everyone kept telling each other to watch out as there must be something in the water as there were so many pregnant women around in such a short period. It has been a running joke around my workplace.

It is actually nice to have some pregnant women around when you are pregnant as we could share tips, advice and also whinge about the discomfort. In addition, we can share opinions about the products and what to buy as all of us are first time mums. We also compared the size of our bumps and share other details only pregnant women can talk about 🙂

I am pregrant (2)

Also one of my good friends in USA is pregnant and is giving birth the same day as I am so there are many exciting news to wait for.

Also in the blog world, a few people are posting their good news and updates.

Is this baby boom happening elsewhere too, or is it just around me?

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO 

Naming the baby

It sounds like a simple task but after getting pregnant, I have found naming a baby to be a most difficult task. Since the day we found out that I am pregnant, we have been going through the same conversation over and over and still haven’t found that PERFECT name we both love and like.

Until we found out the gender of the baby, we decided that it would be wise to wait. We did not want to wreck our brains for both girl and boy names.

We thought we had ages, well, several months actually to come up with something splendid but finding out the gender of the baby didn’t really help. I will be holding the baby in my arms in a months’ time and we are still nowhere close to finalising the name.

I was named using both my parents name so is my brother. My name starts with the first syllable of my dad’s name and ends with the last syllable of my mum’s while my brother starts with the first syllable of my mum‘s name and finishes with the last syllable of my dad’s. Also AS starts his name with his dad’s initial. May be because of these reasons, I definitely want the name of our baby to start with “M” or “A”.

nepaliaustralian

Seriously, before I was pregnant there were so many names that I loved but one by one all of them got eliminated for one reason or another. Most names were eliminated because someone we know has a baby with that name in recent years, the perils of coming rather late to parenthood, and it didn’t feel good to call our baby by the same name.

Because we are thinking of a name from the Newari language, which is meaningful and easy to pronounce in Australia, our choices are limited. When I research online, the top search come from my own blog page and there are far and few in-between other names we found in other pages during the search. We are searching and waiting for that ‘stand out’ name and it is discouraging that we can’t seem to find it.

I know in some cultures, the first grandchild is named after the grandma / granddad. Sometimes I think, that is a great solution, as you don’t need to think about names but how many George, Krishna or Mary can you want in a family?

One of my friends, who has two kids, told me that you just name what feels good at the time and in a few days’ time, the name and personality blend so well with the baby, you can’t think of calling him/her anything else. I am sure it is so true because I can’t imagine being anyone else but M. But deciding on that one name is what we are struggling with. Sometimes, I feel as if we are thinking too much and that is the reason the task seems so difficult.

I have asked my friends and family to help us out but so far I have not received many choices. I had some of them send me links to the most popular names of 2014 but it didn’t really help as they are all English names with no Nepali/Newari meanings.

Australia’s rules on baby names are among the most liberal in the world as it is so multicultural. Pretty much anything goes as long as it is not deemed offensive. The only rule is you need to register the name of the baby within 60 days or there is more complication to register afterwards and costs $174.

I have read the news where parents tried to name their kids Benson and Hedges or Fish and Chips , poor twins, or celebrities who have baby named like Apple or Blue or North.

I really don’t want to give my daughter a weird name which will taunt her whole her life. I am just looking for a simple and sensible name.

We still have to make the decision on the name, at least one which we both agree.

Please feel free to suggest names here and I will be very grateful. You never know we might like it and name our daughter with it. Also wish us luck that we will finalise the name before the baby arrives.

Take care,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO