No matter who you marry, marriage comes with great responsibilities. And I think you have more responsibilities when you marry someone who comes from a background where there are lots of tradition and culture.
As I am not in Nepal, I am not forced to follow all those culture and traditions but at the same time I miss not being part of something important and fun. I remember while growing up there, I used to love all the festivals (of which there was one at least once a month if not more). There was always something to do, eat or watch. I feel sad thinking that if we settle in Australia for life, our kids will miss out on all those opportunity to enjoy and learn Nepalese tradition and culture.
Anyway, in Nepal, the first year of marriage is considered to be very important. So during every festival, there are things you are meant to do. This affects how you celebrate Dashain, Tihar, Father’s Day, Mother’s day and more. I will only learn all these as the time goes by and each festival comes along.
The first one for me was Father’s Day in September. I was grateful to my MIL and the rest of the family when she made my dad’s Father’s Day special. Even when I was living so far away from him, my MIL made sure things were done according to the tradition and so she sent all the yummy stuff to my dad. It included Rotis, sweets, cakes, fruits, Sagun , cooked meat, Achar, whisky and a shirt for my dad.
I got to see the photos and I was really happy. My dad was pleased too.
In Dashain, I wasn’t expected to do much but me and AS wanted to grow Jamara and so we did. If I was in Nepal, it would have been a different story.
Now the next big festival , Tihar is coming. My brother is here so I do my Bhai Tika here. While Skyping with my MIL, she reminded me that as this is my first Bhai Tika after the wedding, I should do something special. She even gave me recipes for a few dishes that I could make.
Since that conversation, I am in a panic mode. I am sure I can’t do what they do in Nepal but still I have to try and do the best that I can. Normally I just buy some sweets from an Indian grocery store and some fruits and some Masala. But now to make this Bhai tika special, I have to make some Rotis myself as we can’t buy Nepali Rotis here. And I don’t know how to make them yet.
My cousin K is going to help me make some of those items. I also have my best friends, YouTube and Google, to help me but I am still stressed out. I am trying to think about what I can do to make the day special. I am really worried that I will stuff it up.
I think my MIL and the rest of the family have been very kind and supportive with me and are doing their share in the relationship to make me and my family comfortable so now the ball is in my court.
I know it is my responsibility now to shine as a “Good Bhuhari(DIL)” but I am not sure how well I will handle these responsibilities.
I am scared to disappoint, not sure who? May be me first, then AS, and both our families. Worried worried worried!!!
nepaliaustralian 