Tag Archives: Engagement

Our Story : Meeting the Parents – Part 13

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 and Part 12.

Once we left the café, we headed towards my home. I told AS not to worry at all as my parents were very cool but I knew that AS and I both were bit nervous. I kind of knew my parents will like him but at the same time I wanted them to love him as well.

It was as a huge milestone in our relationship and it was exciting and promising. After all, it indicated to me that AS felt positive about the future of our relationship together. I knew that it had not been very long ago that we started our relationship but we didn’t have lots of time as both of us were leaving the country in a month’s time.

When we reached home, dad was busy with someone downstairs and mum was in the kitchen, I asked him to wait for them in our living room and went to the kitchen to fetch my mother. Both my parents are not very talkative people so I was a bit worried how the meeting would be.

My mum came to the room and I introduced them. He did Namaste and then they talked for a few minutes. Then my dad arrived as well and my mum left to go to the kitchen as there was a feast being readied for AS. My dad and AS seemed to be getting on well so I was relived. You always want your parents to like your partner as it makes it easy for you to deal with both of them. As I saw AS was comfortable with my dad , I left them for a moment to go to the kitchen and see what my mum was up to.

When I got to the kitchen I saw that she was busy preparing lunch. I told her that we are very full and there is no need for lunch, may be just tea and snacks but she said that it was AS’s first visit so he has to eat some nice food. I knew I was not going to win in this instance so I just gave in.

I asked my mum how she liked AS and she told me that he looked like a nice guy. I took the tea and some snack with me to serve AS and my dad. By then I am sure both of them were feeling comfortable with each other.

AS ate some snacks and had his tea. Then my mum told everyone that lunch was ready so we went upstairs to eat. I couldn’t believe that my mum cooked so many different dishes and AS’s plate seemed to have heaps of every one of them. I felt a bit sorry for AS as I knew both of us were full form our lunch together. So I went and tried to take some things off his plate but my mum caught me in the act and didn’t let me.

My dad and AS sat down for lunch but I decline to eat. My tummy had no room for food and I was bit nervous as well.

To my surprise by the end of lunch AS had finished every item on his plate. And no wonder my mum was so pleased. He even praised my mum’s cooking. But it was not over yet. My mum also served some sweets and knowing AS and his love for sweets, he ate them too.

After lunch, AS stayed for a while and then he had to leave as he had plans at home for the evening. I told him I was sorry that he had to eat so much but he said that he loved it and enjoyed his meal. I accompanied him till the gate of our house and then came back upstairs to hear what my parents thought.

Both my parents were extremely pleased with him and my mum was super happy that her future “jwain” (son in law) was so easy to feed unlike me and my brother. They told me to that they were happy with my choice.

I was over the moon when I heard that as I really wanted my family’s approval to take our relation further. That night I slept well but the next day was a different story.

The next morning I woke up, had breakfast and got ready to meet AS’s parents.

I never knew that meeting your partner’s parents could also be so intimidating.  I was wondering what was in store for the future of your relationship together if his parents didn’t like me.  I had so many conflicting thoughts and emotions that were running through my mind. But I tried to put all negative thoughts behind me and started concentrating on the day.

I know first impressions are often lasting impressions, and I absolutely wanted to dress to impress his parents on the big day of introduction. I wanted to look attractive, presentable, and fashionable so I put on my best Kurta suruwal, did my makeup and hair and waited for AS to pick me up. The plan was to meet his parents and then we would leave to do some shopping in the city. I was really scared to spend a very long time with them in case I stuffed things up. It had sounded like a good idea at the time we had decided to meet each other’s parents but in real life most plans don’t work out as expected so I was a little bit nervous.

When I reached AS’s place, I met his mum and dad. Both or his brothers were not home. Both my future in laws made me feel at ease and talked to me as if they had known me forever but I was nervous in answering them. They asked me some basic questions about where I work or what I studied and what are my plans for the future. AS’s mum talked most of the time while his dad listened and made some comments in between. From time to time, I looked at AS when answering question but he was just there smiling at me. I really wanted things to go well that day. While we were talking, suddenly they had some unexpected visitor, AS’s uncle (his dad’s elder brother) and aunt.

I was now more nervous about what to do and say as it was not in our plan. AS’s mum introduced me to them and they started talking to me too. As they had some other plans, they didn’t stay long.

After they left AS’s mum asked me to stay for lunch (morning Bhat dal). I told her that I am full from breakfast but she said that she was not letting me go without eating something as it was my first time to their home. Seriously every mum seemed to have the same agenda, to feed everyone that they can get their hands on. It was sweet of her but it was not going to be an easy time for me.

First of all, I was full from breakfast and second of all I didn’t prefer eating dal bhat in the morning. But I sat down with AS and his dad while mum served us food. The food was yummy but it took a long time to finish what I had on my plate. AS’s mum wanted me to eat more but I kindly refused. I was just glad when I finished what I had on my plate. I really didn’t want to be rude and not finish my meal.

Finally once we finished, AS got ready and we left. I said my good byes and we were off to the city.

Once we were on our own, I asked how he thought I was. He said I looked so nervous that he felt it was funny. I am a talkative person but I lost all my words when I was in his house.

Later AS told me that his parents were happy to meet me and wanted to meet my parents next.

So after a few days, our parents talked on the phone and decided to meet. AS’s parents came over to our place for dinner. We made sure many varieties were prepared and they had a great time with my parents.

After the meeting, both of us were happy as we had taken the next step in our relationship.

We thought the tough time had passed but there was more to come. I will tell you next time. Till then take care.

Please share your Meeting the Parents story. Were you scared?

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 14

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

 

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Our Story : First date – Part 12

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 and Part 11.

When we finally met, I could barely contain my happiness, as my first thought was, finally we are together. After the initial meeting at the airport, AS insisted that he would drop me home even though his home would come before mine did when coming from the airport. I felt really happy about this gesture and was happy to spend a few minutes more with him. So he dropped me home and promised to call once he got home. I couldn’t wait for him to call me and talk to me.

But I knew it would be a while. He had come home after a few years so he would need to spend some time with his family, take some rest and then may be call me. I promised myself that no matter how much I wanted to talk with him, I wouldn’t call him. I wanted him to have his time with his family. So I had lunch and was surfing the internet when he called. I was just pleased that he did. He told me that he was going to take a shower, have his lunch and spend some time with family. He would call me again whenever he could but we were meeting tomorrow for sure.

That day we had a very short talk in the evening but I was excited waiting for the next day. It was going to be our official first date.

As he had his birthday a few days ago, we had celebrated over Skype. I had a muffin with a candle and gave it to him online. Unfortunately, he didn’t get to eat his cake but he was glad that I was there to celebrate his birthday.

our story (1)I had got a gift and a card for him as well which I wanted to give it to him. I was eagerly waiting for him to open that. So the plan was to meet for lunch and after lunch, my parents were to meet him.

I had millions of thoughts in my mind when I went to bed that night; excited, scared, happy, worried and loved.

The next morning I work up early and helped my mum clean up. I think my parents were more excited to meet AS than I was. My mum was going to prepare some nice lunch and she was busy giving my dad her shopping list. I told them that he would be full as we were meeting for lunch first but as you know how it is with all mums, they love to feed.

Anyway, I had shower and was thinking hard on what to wear. Normally, I would just slip on a dress but it was winter so my choice was to wear jeans or be traditional and wear Kurta. I decided on jeans and a jacket. I wore a scarf and checked to make sure I looked all right before going out. We were to meet at a cafe midway between both our places and it was a date.

I had known him for years now but he was my boyfriend for only a few weeks so I had millions of questions on my mind I needed answers to. I really didn’t know where we were heading and what would happen when I went back to Australia and he to USA. As I was leaving the house, he called me asking me not to leave yet. He decided to pick up me so I waited until he came. He called me from outside and we went to the restaurant.

We reached the restaurant and ordered coffee and some lunch. I really wanted to hug him and hold him but in Nepal, it is a big no no to public display of affection . So the only thing I could do was hold his hand. We talked for a while when I told him I needed to use the ladies. Then I went around to the café area to check if they had any cakes as I wanted him to have his birthday cake but unfortunately, they didn’t have any big cakes except muffins. I thought they would definitely have one so hadn’t organised anything beforehand. Anyway, I told them to bring a muffin with candle lit on it after we had finished our lunch.

When I was back, lunch was already served and we had our food. I seriously didn’t care about the food at all as it was so good to have him next to me. All I wanted was to look at him and just listen to him talk. We talked about so many things including what we were gonna do and what both families were hoping for.

our story (6) our story (7)Once the lunch was over, the waiter came with his birthday cake, a muffin with candle on it. He was totally surprised and I was really pleased to see his expression. I gave his card and gift. He kept on saying thank you and I was just happy that I was able to make him happy.

First, he opened the card and it read,

our story (2)

For you Dear friend and love

Friends like flowers,

grow on the way

on the path we

travel from

day to day.

Some are fair-weather flowers

that fade before long,

but some of them

bloom even when

things go wrong.

And friend like you

are the flowers, that grow  in

beauty with the showers.

Our friendship

has bloomed through

the wind and rain,

it has blossomed

brighter through

trouble and pain,

that’s why your birthday,

I want to promise you…

I will always be there for you.

to stand by you

always and to be

your friend all life through

YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

DEAR FRIEND!

I promise to be there

every birthday

for rest of our life.

He read it carefully and just hugged me and said, “I love You M.” Then he opened the gift.

our story (3) our story (4)It was a clock with a heart on it. I had been so confused as to what to buy and finally settled on the clock. I wanted to tell him that my heart ticked because of him and how much I am in love with him and every minute of my life is meant to be spent with him from now on.

I also bought him a love heart key ring, I know it is a bit cheesy but I loved it. I bought a pair, which made a whole heart, and when broken into two, each key ring would have half a heart.

our story (5)I really liked the idea so I bought them for us. (Both of us still have them in our key ring 🙂 ). When he saw that, he was touched and told me that he will never break my heart like the one he was holding.

He said it was one of the best birthday celebrations he ever had as he was spending it with me. Isn’t that just sweet? I couldn’t be happier hearing those words.

Then he said he had something for me too. I was seriously not hoping to get anything from him but was happy he thought of me while we were apart. He took out something from his bag. The first one was an Oscar statue which said “Best Sweetheart.”

our story (8)I was touched that he thought of me and bought such a significant gift. It meant a lot to me. I told him that I was ecstatic with the gift. Then he said he wasn’t done yet and took something else out of the bag. It was a red square box and had a white gift bow around it.  I really didn’t know that he made such an effort to look for something for me. I opened it and it was a pair of pearl earrings. It was just perfect and I couldn’t hold my happiness.

our story (1)AS: I hope you like them. I didn’t know what to buy but I thought this will be nice on you.

Me: It is just perfect. Thanks love. I wasn’t hoping to get anything from you at all.

AS: I am just glad you love them. I wasn’t too sure what to buy but when I was in LA, when I saw the statue. I knew that it would be a perfect gift for my sweetheart.

Me: Ohoo, thank you so much. And I love the pearl too. I promise to keep it safe and wear it all the time  🙂

AS: I am glad you did 🙂 (big grin on his face)

We spent some more time in the café and then left to go to my home. It was his turn to meet my parents that day and the next day would be mine. I warned him that my mum had cooked a big lunch for him.

This is it for now but will write soon about our experience meeting the parents next.

Please share your first date story. What were you feeling and how do you feel now after many year? Love to hear.

Take care everyone!

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 13

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

 

Engagement ceremony

After AS told me he loves me (Our unconventional love story), everything went in fast pace. We continued to Skype and phone and by the time he was going to be in Nepal, we both were sure this is what we wanted. Even it wasn’t long, it felt like we been together for life time. I think as we were friends for so long, it helps us to bridge the distance we had.

The next step for both of us was to tell our parents as we want them to stop looking for match for us. We were planning to do that around the same time so we know straight away how things are going to work out or not. Both of us are from same culture, same ethnic background and same cast so it seems done deal. But until we really make that step we were worried. We didn’t have any other plan if our parents said NO for any reason.

With the grace of God, both our family took the news very well and they wanted to meet each other officially. They were happy that we made a good couple. So the date was fixed for meeting where they were going to officially ask my hand for marriage called “Kochi” ( Newari word for fix).This is a tradition in Newari / Nepali wedding.

That was one of the scary days for us as things were happening too fast. We know it was going great but still scared if something will come into picture and ruin everything. But after our family meeting in one of the restaurant in Kathmandu, everything went well.

As both of us were leaving Nepal again, both the family though it is wise to have engagement ceremony to announce that we are engaged to be married soon. For AS and me it was great relief that things were going as we wanted.

Both families agreed that ceremony should be small and for only close family and friends. But I forgot in Nepal, small is not really small and it turned out to be ceremony for almost 150 people. Initially, we were planning to have the ceremony at my house, but with 150 people, it was not possible so a date and venue was arranged.

I was dressed in red sari with golden work. Had my hair and make up done Nepali bridal way. AS was dressed in dark blue suit and I swear he looked so handsome. My mother in law, following traditional way, has brought trays of sweets, fruits and gifts for me.

The ceremony started with welcoming everyone to this big new family. It followed by elder putting Tika (a mixture of rice, yogurt and vermillion) on our forehead. At the end , we had so much Tika on our forehead; it kept sliding to our nose.

Then in front of our families and friends, we exchanged rings and we were officially “ENGAGED”.

After that we cut cake, had photo time with everyone. It was followed by snacks and main meal. And of course there was much-loved dancing.

It was really a great days for both of us. We never expect it to be so easy and quick but we didn’t mind.

This ceremony was followed by

Reliving our Big day

It is 95 days since our wedding. I know it is funny I am counting days and I hope to count them in years as time pass by. We had big wedding (Big, Loud, Crowded, Nepali wedding) and I enjoyed every minute of it. It involved lots of culture, tradition and people I never knew. So I decided I should write about my experience before it goes fuzzy in my head. We had Nepali Newari wedding. I am going to write about our engagement and will continue with all the steps of our wedding. The steps were as follows:

  •  Engagement ceremony –  The day we were officially engaged.
  • Mehendi” ceremony – The day where all girls including Bride get henna tattoo on their hand.
  • Supari” ceremony (from Groom to Bride) – The day when Groom’s family send lots of gifts like jewellery, Saris, cosmetics, shoes, bags, fruits, Nepali Roti , Masala and much more.
  • “Swayambar” ceremony -The day where all the marriage ritual happens and groom put Sindoor (Vermilion) on bride’s forehead and parting of her hair.
  • Bride side Reception – Reception from bride and her family for all their relatives and friends.
  • Janti -The day groom and his family come to bride’s home to take her to their home.
  • Groom side “Supari – The day where Bride is officially introduced to Groom’s family and they give bride jeweller or money.
  • Groom side Reception Reception form groom and her family for all their relatives and friends.
  • Mukh herne” ceremony – The day when Bride’s family come and meet Bride with lots of gifts like jewellery, Saris, cosmetic, shoes, bags fruits, Nepali Roti , Masala and much more
  • WanjalaThe newly married couple visit the temple (Kul Deuta)
  • “Jwain Bhitraune” ceremony – Days when Groom is invited to close relative of Bride for Sagun.