This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 and Part 12.
Once we left the café, we headed towards my home. I told AS not to worry at all as my parents were very cool but I knew that AS and I both were bit nervous. I kind of knew my parents will like him but at the same time I wanted them to love him as well.
It was as a huge milestone in our relationship and it was exciting and promising. After all, it indicated to me that AS felt positive about the future of our relationship together. I knew that it had not been very long ago that we started our relationship but we didn’t have lots of time as both of us were leaving the country in a month’s time.
When we reached home, dad was busy with someone downstairs and mum was in the kitchen, I asked him to wait for them in our living room and went to the kitchen to fetch my mother. Both my parents are not very talkative people so I was a bit worried how the meeting would be.
My mum came to the room and I introduced them. He did Namaste and then they talked for a few minutes. Then my dad arrived as well and my mum left to go to the kitchen as there was a feast being readied for AS. My dad and AS seemed to be getting on well so I was relived. You always want your parents to like your partner as it makes it easy for you to deal with both of them. As I saw AS was comfortable with my dad , I left them for a moment to go to the kitchen and see what my mum was up to.
When I got to the kitchen I saw that she was busy preparing lunch. I told her that we are very full and there is no need for lunch, may be just tea and snacks but she said that it was AS’s first visit so he has to eat some nice food. I knew I was not going to win in this instance so I just gave in.
I asked my mum how she liked AS and she told me that he looked like a nice guy. I took the tea and some snack with me to serve AS and my dad. By then I am sure both of them were feeling comfortable with each other.
AS ate some snacks and had his tea. Then my mum told everyone that lunch was ready so we went upstairs to eat. I couldn’t believe that my mum cooked so many different dishes and AS’s plate seemed to have heaps of every one of them. I felt a bit sorry for AS as I knew both of us were full form our lunch together. So I went and tried to take some things off his plate but my mum caught me in the act and didn’t let me.
My dad and AS sat down for lunch but I decline to eat. My tummy had no room for food and I was bit nervous as well.
To my surprise by the end of lunch AS had finished every item on his plate. And no wonder my mum was so pleased. He even praised my mum’s cooking. But it was not over yet. My mum also served some sweets and knowing AS and his love for sweets, he ate them too.
After lunch, AS stayed for a while and then he had to leave as he had plans at home for the evening. I told him I was sorry that he had to eat so much but he said that he loved it and enjoyed his meal. I accompanied him till the gate of our house and then came back upstairs to hear what my parents thought.
Both my parents were extremely pleased with him and my mum was super happy that her future “jwain” (son in law) was so easy to feed unlike me and my brother. They told me to that they were happy with my choice.
I was over the moon when I heard that as I really wanted my family’s approval to take our relation further. That night I slept well but the next day was a different story.
The next morning I woke up, had breakfast and got ready to meet AS’s parents.
I never knew that meeting your partner’s parents could also be so intimidating. I was wondering what was in store for the future of your relationship together if his parents didn’t like me. I had so many conflicting thoughts and emotions that were running through my mind. But I tried to put all negative thoughts behind me and started concentrating on the day.
I know first impressions are often lasting impressions, and I absolutely wanted to dress to impress his parents on the big day of introduction. I wanted to look attractive, presentable, and fashionable so I put on my best Kurta suruwal, did my makeup and hair and waited for AS to pick me up. The plan was to meet his parents and then we would leave to do some shopping in the city. I was really scared to spend a very long time with them in case I stuffed things up. It had sounded like a good idea at the time we had decided to meet each other’s parents but in real life most plans don’t work out as expected so I was a little bit nervous.
When I reached AS’s place, I met his mum and dad. Both or his brothers were not home. Both my future in laws made me feel at ease and talked to me as if they had known me forever but I was nervous in answering them. They asked me some basic questions about where I work or what I studied and what are my plans for the future. AS’s mum talked most of the time while his dad listened and made some comments in between. From time to time, I looked at AS when answering question but he was just there smiling at me. I really wanted things to go well that day. While we were talking, suddenly they had some unexpected visitor, AS’s uncle (his dad’s elder brother) and aunt.
I was now more nervous about what to do and say as it was not in our plan. AS’s mum introduced me to them and they started talking to me too. As they had some other plans, they didn’t stay long.
After they left AS’s mum asked me to stay for lunch (morning Bhat dal). I told her that I am full from breakfast but she said that she was not letting me go without eating something as it was my first time to their home. Seriously every mum seemed to have the same agenda, to feed everyone that they can get their hands on. It was sweet of her but it was not going to be an easy time for me.
First of all, I was full from breakfast and second of all I didn’t prefer eating dal bhat in the morning. But I sat down with AS and his dad while mum served us food. The food was yummy but it took a long time to finish what I had on my plate. AS’s mum wanted me to eat more but I kindly refused. I was just glad when I finished what I had on my plate. I really didn’t want to be rude and not finish my meal.
Finally once we finished, AS got ready and we left. I said my good byes and we were off to the city.
Once we were on our own, I asked how he thought I was. He said I looked so nervous that he felt it was funny. I am a talkative person but I lost all my words when I was in his house.
Later AS told me that his parents were happy to meet me and wanted to meet my parents next.
So after a few days, our parents talked on the phone and decided to meet. AS’s parents came over to our place for dinner. We made sure many varieties were prepared and they had a great time with my parents.
After the meeting, both of us were happy as we had taken the next step in our relationship.
We thought the tough time had passed but there was more to come. I will tell you next time. Till then take care.
Please share your Meeting the Parents story. Were you scared?
M from nepaliaustralian
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I have mixed feelings about meeting parents and approvals etc. But I so much respect that you wanted to do that. Important that you both get on with your in-laws I know. In Nepal I was often asked to eat when in fact I was already full. I made sure that I always accepted the person’s first answer when I was inviting and I never ever tried to force anybody.
I didn’t want to hurt my parents in anyway as they have done so much for us and that’s the reason approval was so import for me. I guess it depends on how we look at things. For me still have lots of Nepali culture still inside me that no matter how long I stayed away from Nepal, still feel like I am Nepali inside.
I know because it’s the same with me. After ten years in Nepal I had adjusted to so many things but inside I was just as British. I just love the way that Nepalese respect their parents but very sadly now in Kathmandu times are starting to change. I hate to see that. The teenagers in the house next to us in Satungal were/are always at loggerheads with their mother and were generally up to no good.
It is so sad to see new generation not respecting their parents. I don’t know why we forget that , we are what we are because of them and they deserve to be respected and looked after when they are old.
Oh wow…things went really well 😀 really happy for you…
I still haven’t met his parents or have him meet mine…for various reasons..
Will write about it when it happens…wish me luck 🙂
Good luck gal.. I am sure love conquers everything. I am sure both of you can make your relationship work and wish you all the best for future.
Thanks for your good wishes 🙂
It’s never easy meeting parents of a partner, but it works out most of the time. Sounds like it did for both of you. 🙂
It feels silly now but at that time it was a very scary and intimating experience 🙂
You should write a book!
I met my now in laws before we even presented the idea that my husband and I were going to marry.
I was scared too.he is Indian and I’m Aussie – so I agree with Raina, different cultures and country..but 8years on its all fine
ohoo I wish I could too. 🙂
I think it is easy to meet the parents when you know them as a friends’ parents only but once you know you are going to marry him/her and they are your future in laws, the meeting can be very scary but glad everything went well for you.
Both of us were nervous because of the fact that my husband and I come from different countries, cultures and religions. We didn’t face any opposition as such though there were many questions on both sides- was I marrying him for citizenship (husband is American, I’m Indian), was I alright with the fact that my husband did not have a Bachelor’s degree, etc. It worked out because both of us were so sure about each other. The question of “if” we got married never came up, it was always “when” we get married, so the solidity of those feelings really got us through everything. Looking forward to part 14.
That is so sweet. When you meet the right person,. you always know that it is forever. I remember with us as well, it was always when and never if .Thank you for reading my story and I will write the next part soon. 🙂
It seems like food is a great connector and helps put people at ease, but its probably best not to eat much before meeting the prospective in-laws 🙂
I think “feeder ” as I call my mum, loves it when someone eats their food so my mum loved AS instantly when he finished all the food on his plate and ate dessert as well 🙂
He sure did his best to make a good impression especially after having already eaten, ah but the things we do for love 🙂
I had never been to my husband’s house before we got married and once I was married, the idea dawned on me that I’ll be living in that house. It was a new feeling, not sure how I can describe it. How do you feel when you stay with your in-laws?
The first time I lived there, it was after the wedding and it was for less than a week and I was lost whole time but last time, I was there for a whole month so I now know how things are there. It still feels bit different but I know all my in-laws treat me well and they helped me a lot to to feel like I was home . I am sure it will be easier next time over.
Yes no matter how much we’re loved by the new family, its a struggle for every girl in the beginning…we girlfriends always talk about this.
That is so true…