Women gain weight after marriage: I am the proof

I know that I am talking about a touchy subject, weight. But I need to talk about it. Just letting you know that I am sharing my personal experience and you may not agree with it.

As you all know, I got married in June 2011 (God, it has been 10 months already), and I realise that I have put on some weight. I really watch what I eat and exercise regularly but this weight gain has shocked me. I keep telling my husband about it but he keeps on telling me that a few kilo is nothing and I look good anyway. But for me, every time I step on the scales, I get disappointed when I see that I have put on  weight.

The funny thing is I am saying NO to all the junk food while AS is enjoying chocolate biscuits and other indulgence. We go to the gym together and he still manages to lose weight easily and I don’t. Some days it makes me so frustrated. I do know that women’s metabolism is lower than men’s but I am not eating as much as him anyway.

We used to have snacks every evening after work and I thought that had contributed on my weight gain so I stopped having my tea and biscuits but still my weight seems to stay put.

I know I am not fat but I am not as skinny as I was before marriage either. I know that because some of my dresses are a bit tight for me now. Ohoo, I can’t even dream of giving all my cloths away if I ever put on weight. Also my husband won’t be happy either as I will have to go on a shopping spree to compensate for that.

The other day,  I was watching a show on TV call THE DOCTORS and it opened my eyes as to why it has been so hard for me to lose weight even after I realised I had put on a few kilo and was trying my best to lose it. They explained that man has more muscles compare to women so when they exercise, it is easy for them to lose the weight quickly than women. I think it is not fair but I guess I just have to work harder.

While doing my research, I also found out that women don’t need to eat as much as men but when one gets married or starts living together, because of the love, ones husband will ask the wife to share food with him every time he snacks on any food (so true in my case) and I am sure that is not helping me right now to lose weight either.

The third and last factor I found out is age. As we get older, our metabolism rate decrease so we need to cut down on our energy intake otherwise there is no stopping the weight gain.

I know I haven’t let myself go after the wedding. I am still health conscious and want to keep my weight in check. My dream is to be a sexy hot grand ma in my 70’s. 🙂

Anyway, once I realised the factors I listed above, I have been doing well and have lost 3 kgs. My aim is to lose 2 more kilos before the start of our next holiday.

I know my husband loves me but I told him not to share his snacks with me. I am also watching what I eat. So if you are having a similar problem as I did, this is what I did and it helps.

  • Eat Less and Move More
  • Don’t eat when you are not hungry even if someone is snacking next to you.
  • Increase your exercise time as you grow older.
  • Have a goal in mind and weigh yourself every week. Keep a record of how you are doing. Remembering how much you have lost/gain will stop you from going for unhealthy lunch. (This worked so well for me)
  • You don’t need to starve to lose weight, just watch your portion size.
  • Be realistic on your goal and work towards it. Any loss in weight is better than none.
  • Ultimately weight loss is about the balance between calories intake and calories burned

Here are some healthy eating tips found on zenhabits (http://zenhabits.net)

  • Water water water. It kick-starts your metabolism. Stop drinking soda.
  • Make one change at a time. Don’t cut everything out at once. For example, cut out fried foods. When you’re used to that, cut out soda, etc.
  • Lay off the rubbish food, apart from one day a week where you can eat what you like – it’ll help you stick to it and you won’t have the temptation to eat rubbish all the time.
  • Be mindful of what you are eating. Keep a food journal or diary. Seeing it in writing always gives it weight and helps reveal patterns or triggers.
  • Stop the evening eating. You don’t want to eat and then go to sleep. All those calories just sit there unused while you sleep.
  • Eat mostly raw fruits, veggies and nuts.
  • Brush your teeth early in the evening rather than just before bed. It keeps you from snacking if you’re not really hungry.
  • Portion control used with a 20 minute wait time — wait 20 minutes after eating the sensible portions, and then see if you still feel hungry. Nine times out of ten, you won’t. If you do, get a little more.
  • Cut out sugar.
  • No fast food. Period.
  • Commit to one diet — and stick to it for life. Start by making a list of low-calorie foods that you love, that you find satisfying; and when you’re hungry make sure you eat lots of those foods.
  • Eat slow and you will only eat as much as you need to be full.
  • Whenever you eat, think about how much food you would waste by overeating. Your body doesn’t *need* all the food that’s on your plate, why waste it? You could eat the leftovers for lunch the next day and save yourself some money, or you could split it with your loved one and have company while you eat. You could give it to the homeless guy down the block who REALLY needs it. Any reason you find not to waste that food is a good one.
  • Everything in moderation. If you really want French fries and a hamburger, or ice cream, or a cookie it’s OK to indulge a little occasionally. Key word is occasionally. Better to indulge a little, than to binge later.
  • Learn to cook, from scratch. That way, you control what you are eating.
  • Observe your hunger patterns. Choose a bedtime that’s early enough to keep you from after-dinner snacking. Stick to that bed-time. If you must snack before bed, have something small and healthful. Maybe a tiny portion of whole grain cereal with milk.
  • Eat lots of fibre, it’s surprisingly filling compared to that cupcake.
  • Eat as soon after you get up as possible. This gets your metabolism working at a higher rate sooner in the day.
  • Cut out alcohol or reduce your intake to one or two glasses a week.
  • If you are hungry between meals, try eating a small portion of food that is high in protein. It can be more effective to eat one piece of cheese or some yoghurt or nuts than to eat bread or crackers or other snack foods.
  • Go to bed early and get up early. If you stay up late, you will overeat, guaranteed. It doesn’t matter if you are a night person; change into a morning person. When you go to bed early, you don’t think about food all night.
  • Instead of counting calories, concentrate on reducing your fat intake. Fat that you eat converts more readily into body fat than does protein or carbohydrate.

21 responses to “Women gain weight after marriage: I am the proof

  1. I totally agree with the “sharing the snacks thing”.. like when Im with A, he just eats everything and makes me EAT them even if it doesn’t suit my health conditions (like I can’t eat fried oily stuff) and he would still make me indulge. This time round visiting him, he kept me away from fries and made me order salad instead.. but he still wants me to eat more.. when my stomach says.. Im done!

    Also, the weight scale can be deceiving. What’s important is to be fit and healthy and sometimes we lose fat and build muscle and the weight loss doesn’t show but its completely healthy. I used to weigh around 55kg after drastic weight loss but I wasn’t really eating well. Now I range between 56-58- I don’t know why it keeps fluctuating) but I’m leaner and fitter, perhaps because of the muscle build and also, some people got heavy bones!

    Clean eating is the key. Plus after a while, you realise that you don’t really require the junk and I’m so glad that oil doesn’t work for me. Like Chinese used to be my favourite cuisine but now I seem pretty reluctant to indulge in it because I know its sticky and oily and its got way too many sauces than the body requires, and leaves me feeling squeamish anyways.

    Also, a vegetarian/vegan diet helps a lot. I always dreaded converting into one because my family are heavy meat-eaters. My dad loves his meats and according to Sri Lankan dining, we have full course dining with one non-veg, a couple of vegetable dishes, salad or saag (leafy veggies) everyday! But miraculously, I don’t like meat or even chicken anymore. I barely indulge in it, I can’t have more than a tiny piece of red meat, if I ever do and fish is alright, I’d rather seafood. [Sometimes I think God is preparing me for the whole post-matrimony era, coz A has given up beef and pork, couple years ago- not that he stops me from having it .. still! 😀 ]

  2. Good topic.
    Allways I have to fight with my weight too.
    A really good help is the programm from weight watchers for me.
    It is not a diet, more then its a dietary chance.
    Do you know ww?
    Since I life according this programm I lost 7 kilos…….yipiiiiiii
    It’s hard, because I love sweets and chips, but it’s possible with willpower.
    But let me say, you are nice and beauty, dont worry.

  3. Well don’t fret too much sister, it’s not like us men stay in those size 29’s for ever either!

  4. Sounds like a sound plan, and it’s all about being comfortable with you.

  5. I got married at the end of May 2011 (just a few weeks before you) and I gained 10 pounds since then also. We got engaged in January 2010 and I’ve gained 20 pounds since then! And its been really difficult to lose but I’m working on it and have lost 5 pounds since I started running, turning vegetarian, and tracking my exercise and calories on My Fitness Pal (which Padmini also recommended). So know that you are not alone 🙂

    A term they use for this phenomenon in the U.S. is called “relationship weight”, because couples spend more time making long dinners at home together, have lazy movie nights on the couch, and use that double-income for going out for meals, etc. So your habits are different from your single days. Also, have you noticed that your social events have at least DOUBLED? I don’t know about you, but now I don’t have to just attend my own friends and families birthdays, weddings, barbecues, etc. now I have to attend my husband’s social events too. Last year we went to TWO Thanksgivings! I know you don’t do that in Australia, but Thanksgiving is basically an American holiday which celebrates family, gratefullness, etc with a LOT of food! At the centerpiece of all these events is lots of food! And now that most of my friends are married, they started having kids. You know what that means? Baby showers! What do they serve at baby showers? Lots of cupcakes and yummy food! So no matter how hard I exercise and stay disciplined with my diet during the week, its hard not to sabotage everything over the weekend’s celebrations. Its easy for me to be disciplined when I’m at home and work and in my daily routine, but its really difficult to control myself at social functions with beautiful and delicious looking food everywhere!

    I try to come up with healthy recipes and I put some of my favorites on my blog.

    Here is my recipe for a kale smoothie: http://latkeladki.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/queen-of-the-green-energy-smoothie/

    And my modern take on “dhoodh bhaat AKA rice in milk”

    Good luck in your weight loss! I’m here to support you! You can do it!

    • I agree with every word you say.

      “Relationship weight”–Ohoo that is what happened to us as well :). Now we realise that and in the process of reversing the cycle…

      When I was reading about social events , for one second I thought you were talking about my social life. Ohoo I have been complaining about these for a year now. So many birthdays and christening we had these days that we are lucky to have a day in weekend to ourself. But at least I am glad that we are not alone in this situation.

      Thanks for great recipe. I will definitely try them.

  6. In our case for some ungodly reasons I ended up bearing the sole responsibility of gaining those post-marital extra pounds! It took second child for her to secure few pounds on a permanent basis. She still managed to spread it all evenly and she can still fit in the dress she wore at our first date! And I can’t FIT in my wedding suit 😦 We are married for more than a decade.
    Here’s her secret though
    1) She’s blessed with such a high metabolism that she can even burn butter injected through IV!!
    2) She’s a health-care professional & super cautious about her food. My elder one calls it a nutrition lab, the lace usually deemed as kitchen in other homes.
    3) She’s an average cook. Compulsion to cook healthy contributes largely to the average factor. Even a starved person can’t over-eat at our place.
    4) She’s got a loving & caring husband. Not sure how that affects the weight, but want to stick to that as a factor until proven otherwise.

    • I am sure your wife is one lucky women to have high metabolism and of course husband like you 🙂
      I know man do put some weight after marriage but they can lose that easily if they exercise but for women even they exercise, it is hard to lose.

  7. Great post! For me I am lucky to have been the same weight since high school ! I gained 36 pounds each pregnancy but have always ate healthy and exercised. The big problem is all the processed foods and how static our lives get in the western world. We get lazy, right. I am sure you are still a petite woman! I have to warn you that once you hit 40 like I did your metabolism definitely slows down and it gets harder!

    • You are so lucky that your weight is constant. I think it is because you move a lot when you travel.:)
      I am petite now but don’t want to follow my family’s footstep where women seems to put weight once they get married and have kids.
      I thought my metabolism is slow now so I can’t imagine what will happen when I hit 40…

  8. haha this post is so true… have seen it happen to many! Also thank you for liking my last post on Nepal 🙂 I did have some Newari food there and will be posting some pics of that in my next post!

  9. I gained a lot of weight after my first marriage and then ironically lost weight during my pregnancy and then just lost and lost after my daughter was born. This past year, for reasons I don’t understand, I skyrocketed up on the scale to more than I weighed in my entire life. Since them I’m back to my post high school average, but it took a lot of work. For me, eating vegetarian helps a LOT, whenever I eat meat, the pounds just pack on.
    To lose the 35 lbs I lost in six months, I logged my food online. A great tool is “myfitnesspal” I know you can use it in OZ, because I have a dear friend living in Perth and she and I are friends on mfp. MFP also has an iphone app, which makes tracking all the time really easy. I logged food and exercise. I am currently a part of a mothers group made of 20 members. We’ve been able to support each other and most have lost around 18 lbs so far, some were far heavier than me and I think its harder to lose once you get too far along.
    Keep at it, I think a good rule of thumb is not letting yourself spiral out of control. Your body can develop a set weight that it will try and hold so that if you get a really heavy set weight, its hard to ever get back to a low healthy set weight.

    • I normally see women put on weight during and after pregnancy, you are lucky that you lost weight.

      I gain around 4.5 kgs after wedding (in 8 months) which equals to around 10 pounds I think. I wanted to fit into my dresses but it was getting tighter. Now I have lost 3 kgs and working towards my last few 🙂

      Your idea for fitnesspal is really good as I know when you have people who support; it helps a lot to motivate. Thankfully my husband is also health and weight conscious so he has been a great help.

      I think I can’t go back to being vegetarian (I was vegetarian for 5 years in my teen years) and if I even mentioned that to my husband , he will go crazy as he loves his meat. But we do have few vegetarian meals a week. When we eat meat, I do portion control as I know it is so easy to over eat.

      I think you are going well with your weight loss so keep up the good job 🙂

  10. haha dont fully agree

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