Category Archives: Marriage

The Thing

AS and I am so different in so many things. One of those things is our choice of movies.

My preference for movies is comedy or rom-com. I like thrillers as well but horror is a big NO. AS is a big fan of horror and science fiction movies.

My theory is, if I am paying money to be entertained, why would I want to get scared? I would much prefer to watch light hearted movies instead.

So the thing is , selecting a movie that we both enjoy is quite difficult. That is why we made a deal. Each of us gets to choose every other movie.

The last time we went for a movie he watched Jonny English Reborn for me so last night he chose a movie. And his choice was The Thing.

It is a science-fiction horror movie which got a pretty good review. I really didn’t want to watch it but I had to keep my end of the deal.

The movie was ok and not too scary. Like every movie of that kind, the storyline was so predictable with only a few survivors left at the end. Some of the scenes were disgusting but I survived the movie.

Dinner before movie and popcorn, a drink and a cake during the movie entertained me more than the movie did but I am happy since it is my turn next. I am definitely taking him for a rom-com now, just to annoy him 🙂

Our Unconventional love story …

As I mention on my previous post Big ,Loud, Crowded, Nepali wedding”, I know my husband, AS since high school. But our story is nothing like childhood sweethearts with happy ending. We were just friends at that point and never in my wildest dream thought will we end up marring each other. It is so true when they say, “You don’t know what future holds for you”.

I was ready to take next step of my life – marriage and family. The only problem with my plan is I have no plan. I didn’t know what I really want. I have never thought in my whole life I will agree with arrange marriage. But as I can’t find the man of my dream, I thought, I will hand over the duty to my parents. As my parents always nag me about marriage, I thought this will make them busy and I always can say no. They were more than willing to take the charge and was so proud that despite living abroad for almost a decade, I choose to go traditional way.

AS is not a very social person so we used to be out of touch for ages. Our email frequency used to once every 6 months. But thanks to Facebook, which I was genuinely surprised he had one, we start talking again. Our infrequent message turned into more frequent one and it was like high school all over again. We had same memories, same friends and it was easy. During this period, I told him one day what I told my parents about looking for a guy for me. To this he said that his parents are looking for a girl for him as well. And then we used to joke about how life has turned out and may be we will meet again only when both of us will be married and have kids. He used to be in US at that time and I was in Australia.

That year I decided to go home for holiday and I had 12 hours transit in Singapore airport. I told him, if he had any time I will appreciate the company over net as I don’t know what else to do in Singapore in the middle of the night. As the time difference was right for him, we chatted for almost 10 hours out of 12. (He told me later he made a special effort that stage.) I think that probably was the first time I felt more close to him. We made fun of each other and asked silly questions and it was great. I wasn’t bored at all and hoped he enjoyed it too. During this conversation, he told me he is planning to come to Nepal as well and try to make it when I will be there. I was really happy thinking at least we can meet again.

We didn’t meet until next 3 weeks but lots of things changed during that period. We used to Skype a lot and talked about my “Possible husband “. It was not that they were bad but I was not ready to meet anyone new so I just made any excuse not to meet them. And numbers of photo was increasing as my parents were determined to find someone before I leave Nepal.

I think my frequent mention of these eligible bachelor made AS realise that the plan he had to express his love for me after he sees me Nepal can’t wait till then. He has to do something otherwise I may be engaged before he knows it. So while we were talking on phone one day, late at night for me and early morning for him, he expressed his feeling for me. He told me how he was in love with me since our school and I am his first love who he never forgot. I was surprised that I never saw that vibe from him ever but I was happy at the same time. During last few months I felt closer to him but I was so sure he will never fall for someone like me; I even try to set him up with one of my good friend. She will kill me if she finds out now. Anyway that was how we started our journey for our happily ever after :). And after all I am not the “Arrange Marriage Type”.

Making a cup of tea…

This post is not another recipe. This is a post from a woman who is recently married and learning about marriage. How simple is it to make cup of tea?Anyone can do it and it takes a minute. But this simple task of making a cup of tea has become so complex in our household.

Both me and AS enjoy our cup of tea hot which means, not microwaved and no electrical kettle of hot water. I am not a big tea drinker but when I have one, I like to boil my water, milk, tea and sugar together. I enjoy steaming hot tea. Before I got married to AS I never made tea for myself unless I have a visitor.

After our marriage, we started having proper breakfast every weekend which means, in winter, tea was a part of our breakfast. So in the beginning, we had our tea as AS liked it since I have no preference. Strong with less milk and less sugar. But after few weeks I realised that every weekend after breakfast, I had mild headache and it lasted for the whole day. It was nothing sever but I just mentioned that to my cousin (who is a doctor) when we were talking. He asked me if I was having tea or coffee and if it happened after I had one. It gave me a clear picture what was happening to me. I tested it one weekend without tea and yap he was right. I am caffeine intolerant. He told me I still can drink tea but mild ones.

I stilled wanted to continue our breakfast ritual for weekends as I loved them. But the problem is that now it takes so much longer to make a cup of tea. This is how we do it. We first boil the water on the stove with 2 teaspoon of loose tea and 2 teaspoon of sugar (one for me and one for AS). After the tea has boiled for a minute we take out half of it into a cup (this is for me) and let the remaining tea boil for a few more minutes. Once it is dark, we filter it into a cup with just a little milk. AS tea is ready now so we rinse the saucepan and add my half of the tea from the cup, add lots of milk and a teaspoon of sugar and boil it. So we have two every different cup of tea ready for two people with different taste.

I know it sounds all complicated and we could have done it in two saucepans and make it simple but this works for us. I am learning a lot about marriage from this simple step in our life. Marriage is all about compromise and I am happy, we both are willing to leave aside our individual differences and strike a common balance between us. It makes me so happy that even though we are worlds apart in personality, we can make things work between us no matter what obstacles life will bring us.

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*From independent, confident strong women to dependent, needy wife *Ta, Timi, Tapai and Hajoor *With love, to my dear husband