Tag Archives: Nepaliaustralian

With marriage comes great responsibility!

Posted on October 21, 2011 | 6 comments

No matter who you marry, marriage comes with great responsibilities. And I think you have more responsibilities when you marry someone who comes from a background where there are lots of tradition and culture.

As I am not in Nepal, I am not forced to follow all those culture and traditions but at the same time I miss not being part of something important and fun. I remember while growing up there, I used to love all the festivals (of which there was one at least once a month if not more). There was always something to do, eat or watch. I feel sad thinking that if we settle in Australia for life, our kids will miss out on all those opportunity to enjoy and learn Nepalese tradition and culture.

Anyway, in Nepal, the first year of marriage is considered to be very important. So during every festival, there are things you are meant to do. This affects how you celebrate Dashain, Tihar, Father’s Day, Mother’s day and more. I will only learn all these as the time goes by and each festival comes along.

The first one for me was Father’s Day in September. I was grateful to my MIL and the rest of the family when she made my dad’s Father’s Day special. Even when I was living so far away from him, my MIL made sure things were done according to the tradition and so she sent all the yummy stuff to my dad. It included Rotis, sweets, cakes, fruits, Sagun , cooked meat, Achar, whisky and a shirt for my dad.

I got to see the photos and I was really happy. My dad was pleased too.

In Dashain, I wasn’t expected to do much but me and AS wanted to grow Jamara and so we did. If I was in Nepal, it would have been a different story.

Now the next big festival , Tihar is coming. My brother is here so I do my Bhai Tika here. While Skyping with my MIL, she reminded me that as this is my first Bhai Tika after the wedding, I should do something special. She even gave me recipes for a few dishes that I could make.

Since that conversation, I am in a panic mode. I am sure I can’t do what they do in Nepal but still I have to try and do the best that I can. Normally I just buy some sweets from an Indian grocery store and some fruits and some Masala. But now to make this Bhai tika special, I have to make some Rotis myself as we can’t buy Nepali Rotis here. And I don’t know how to make them yet.

My cousin K is going to help me make some of those items. I also have my best friends, YouTube and Google, to help me but I am still stressed out. I am trying to think about what I can do to make the day special. I am really worried that I will stuff it up.

I think my MIL and the rest of the family have been very kind and supportive with me and are doing their share in the relationship to make me and my family comfortable so now the ball is in my court.

I know it is my responsibility now to shine as a “Good Bhuhari(DIL)” but I am not sure how well I will handle these responsibilities.

I am scared to disappoint, not sure who? May be me first, then AS, and both our families. Worried worried worried!!!

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Posted in Marriage, Relationship

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Our Honeymoon trip to Vietnam which almost didn’t happen

Posted on October 15, 2011 | 7 comments

When we were planning our honeymoon, me and AS had different ideas on where we want to go. I always wanted to go to Greek Islands(Santorini) but AS wanted to go to Hawaii. But as AS couldn’t take more than a month off from work and our wedding took so many days, we couldn’t go to either of the places.

AS assured me, that we will do our Greek Islands honeymoon next year but for me it didn’t make sense. I wanted something right after the wedding so it is our honeymoon rather than just a holiday.

Anyway after a few discussions we decided on Vietnam as it would be on our way back from Nepal.

After the wedding, we had a few days to spend with the family. Then we were off to Vietnam via Bangkok and then to Sydney.

Our family in Kathmandu Airport

When we depart from Nepal that was the first time I didn’t have tears in my eyes. Every time when I return to Australia, my family would come to drop me to the airport. When it was time for me to depart, my mum would be teary and that always made me sad. I was always teary when I board the plane.

This time both mine and AS’s family were there to see us off.  I was surprised my mum didn’t cry when we entered the departure gate. She was talking to my MIL and waving us good-bye. And I was not crying either. I think as AS was with me, I felt better. I guess that is one of the perks of being married.

We were to go to Bangkok and then take an Air Asia flight to Ho Chin Minh. We were excited but as soon as we reached Bangkok our excitement turned into disappointment.

We found out only after we reached Bangkok that Air Asia flights depart from the domestic terminal.  When we bought our tickets, there was no mention of this so we never had the idea that we needed visa for Thailand to board our flights. The problem was, with Nepali passport they didn’t give visa on the spot so they didn’t allow AS to go out of the international terminal to go to the domestic airport. We were inside Bangkok international airport and our flight was departing from a few kilometres away. We tried to explain the situation to immigration officer, they just ignored us. Half the time, they didn’t speak good English and other half they didn’t care. I was really pissed with them but I couldn’t do anything.

What was supposed to be our great day was turning out to be a nightmare.

We talk to a few other people but they couldn’t help either. Finally a guy in the Thai airways counter was able to understand our situation (Thank God). He said as we can’t go out, it is best if we take another flight that departs from the international airport to Ho chin Min. So we did. We paid for Thai airways ticket to go to Vietnam(there went my shopping money) but did not fly untill the next morning. So we spent 12 hours in the airport. And the ticket was very expensive as we were buying them at the last-minute. But I was thankful that at least there was a solution, even if it was an expensive one.

Next morning we boarded our flight and we were off to Vietnam. Both Me and AS wanted the whole Air Asia thing behind us and enjoy our stay there. While we were in Nepal, lots of people told us their bad experience in Vietnam so I was really worried. I was even thinking all those problems were an Omen telling us not to go to Vietnam.

When we got off in Ho Chin Min airport it was very hot and humid. We took a taxi and went to our hotel. Thankfully there were no problems and we went to our room.

The room was nicely decorated and we had a buffet breakfast every day. They had lots of things to choose from like toast and cheese or rice, Pho, noodles, variety of eggs, salads, yogurt and all kinds of pastries.

Mingling with locals

We booked trips that took us around city and we went to churches, Presidential palace, museums. We also took a trip to the Mekong Delta, Cu Chi tunnel, Cai Dao temple. The trips were fantastic. Once we were out of the city, there was more greenery and less traffic. There were acres of rice fields with lots of people with Vietnamese hats. I really loved it.

The shopping was great as well. We bought lots of souvenirs and I bought some dresses too. We couldn’t buy much as we already had lots of stuff from Nepal. I loved the food too.

But the best part of the trip was the massage. It was very affordable and it was so good. We went for a massage every day. It cost us aroundAUD$15 for a whole body massage with aromatic oil and hot stones for over an hour. Ohoo, one of the best massages I ever had.

Vietnamese 100,000 dong

The next best thing was that we felt like millionaires anywhere we went. We booked a private tour so we had the diver and the guide to ourselves all the time. The car they got for us had leather interior with air con. AUD $200 is equivalent to a million Vietnamese Dong so you are always paying in hundred thousands or millions.

I found the people friendly and the staff of the hotel very helpful. Like most of the Asian countries I have visited, they always had a smile on their face.

On one of the lunch trip, we even ran into one of the famous Vietnamese actors (our guide told us that but I don’t know his name.) There were people queuing up to get a photo with him.

We spent all the time in South Vietnam so I will have to go back again to go to North Vietnam.

One item crossed from my bucket list for now.

More photos here.

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Posted in Our Wedding, Travel, Vietnam, Wedding

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Happy “Nawami”

Posted on October 5, 2011 | 1 comment

On the ninth day of Dashain which is called ‘Nawami’ or “Maha-Navami” , we worship Vishwakarma, the god of creativeness. All artisans, craftsmen, tradesmen worship their tools, equipment and vehicles like cars, bikes, trucks etc. for protection against accidents during the year. So we got into the spirit of Dashain today and we worshipped our Car with a Puja. 

Normally animals are sacrificed during the Puja and the tools are given their fill of blood but we used a hard shelled coconut instead and let the car have the coconut water! 

 

L-R Puja Thali, AS performing Puja and cracking coconut
 

L-R cracked coconut, AS pourning coconut water

Happy Dashain !!!

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Posted in Nepali Festivals

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Happy “Asthami”

Posted on October 5, 2011 | 2 comments

 The eighth day of Dashain is called ‘Asthami’. In Newari culture, we eat “Kuchi bhwey” to mark the day.

Yesterday, we went to my cousin’s (K didi) house and we were so happy to see that they had prepared “Kuchi bhwey”.

It consists of 9 Newari dishes which are

  • Chiura (beaten/flattened rice)
  • Chicken curry
  • Spinach
  • Black eye bean
  • Alu achaar 
  • Chicken Choila
  • Kachi La (lamb dish)
  • Fried soybean
  • Fried Garlic

    Kuchi bhwey

 It was really yummy!!!

Happy dashain!!!

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Posted in Nepali Festivals, Newari Food

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Our Unconventional love story …

Posted on September 26, 2011 | 6 comments

As I mention on my previous post “Big ,Loud, Crowded, Nepali wedding”, I know my husband, AS since high school. But our story is nothing like childhood sweethearts with happy ending. We were just friends at that point and never in my wildest dream thought will we end up marring each other. It is so true when they say, “You don’t know what future holds for you”.

I was ready to take next step of my life – marriage and family. The only problem with my plan is I have no plan. I didn’t know what I really want. I have never thought in my whole life I will agree with arrange marriage. But as I can’t find the man of my dream, I thought, I will hand over the duty to my parents. As my parents always nag me about marriage, I thought this will make them busy and I always can say no. They were more than willing to take the charge and was so proud that despite living abroad for almost a decade, I choose to go traditional way.

AS is not a very social person so we used to be out of touch for ages. Our email frequency used to once every 6 months. But thanks to Facebook, which I was genuinely surprised he had one, we start talking again. Our infrequent message turned into more frequent one and it was like high school all over again. We had same memories, same friends and it was easy. During this period, I told him one day what I told my parents about looking for a guy for me. To this he said that his parents are looking for a girl for him as well. And then we used to joke about how life has turned out and may be we will meet again only when both of us will be married and have kids. He used to be in US at that time and I was in Australia.

That year I decided to go home for holiday and I had 12 hours transit in Singapore airport. I told him, if he had any time I will appreciate the company over net as I don’t know what else to do in Singapore in the middle of the night. As the time difference was right for him, we chatted for almost 10 hours out of 12. (He told me later he made a special effort that stage.) I think that probably was the first time I felt more close to him. We made fun of each other and asked silly questions and it was great. I wasn’t bored at all and hoped he enjoyed it too. During this conversation, he told me he is planning to come to Nepal as well and try to make it when I will be there. I was really happy thinking at least we can meet again.

We didn’t meet until next 3 weeks but lots of things changed during that period. We used to Skype a lot and talked about my “Possible husband “. It was not that they were bad but I was not ready to meet anyone new so I just made any excuse not to meet them. And numbers of photo was increasing as my parents were determined to find someone before I leave Nepal.

I think my frequent mention of these eligible bachelor made AS realise that the plan he had to express his love for me after he sees me Nepal can’t wait till then. He has to do something otherwise I may be engaged before he knows it. So while we were talking on phone one day, late at night for me and early morning for him, he expressed his feeling for me. He told me how he was in love with me since our school and I am his first love who he never forgot. I was surprised that I never saw that vibe from him ever but I was happy at the same time. During last few months I felt closer to him but I was so sure he will never fall for someone like me; I even try to set him up with one of my good friend. She will kill me if she finds out now. Anyway that was how we started our journey for our happily ever after :). And after all I am not the “Arrange Marriage Type”.

6 Comments

Posted in Australia, Kathmandu, Marriage, Nepal, Our Wedding, Wedding

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