Category Archives: Nepali Culture

Pasni party for Chhori

After the pasni puja was over, the next big day was the party day.

Chhori is so blessed to have so many loved one come to visit her after her birth. So I wanted to invite everyone for the celebration and to share the day with us.

As with other celebrations, I had many ideas that I wanted to execute for her special day.

So I started planning for the big day months in advance. I wanted a big enough venue that served good food and had great ambiance. After a very tiring search, we finally found it.

The next part was to find a good baker to bake a special cake for Chhori and a photographer who could capture the special moments. Once everyone was booked, I started on the entertainment. I wanted to put on a few performances so I asked few of my friends and they agreed to dance and sing on the day. Altogether, there were going to be 5 dances and a song and I was performing a dance with my sister in law as well.

I always liked dancing but I haven’t performed since high school so I was excited and scared at the same time. We practiced for almost a month every other day and though we were not very good in the beginning as the days passed and we practiced more, we got better and better. I was really happy with where we were headed.

In the meantime, we also designed place cards and arranged the table sitting. It took a while but when everything were done, I was super excited for the day.

On the day of party, I went to the beauty parlour to do my hair and makeup. It took almost 2 hours to get ready and I was happy with the result. I had ordered a special lehenga saree and that was what I was wearing. AS was also looking really handsome in his new suit and bow tie.

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Chhori also had a special dress made for her in a boutique in Nepal by her grand ma which I loved a lot. She looked absolutely gorgeous.

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Once we were all ready, we went to the venue. It was decorated, nicely.

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The cake was also already delivered. We placed all the place cards in the right places and were set for the evening.

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It was early and the photographer was there as well so we spent an hour taking photos before the guests arrived. He took great photos of us as well as with my parents and brother.

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As the guests arrived, the place stared to fill up and food and drinks were served.

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It was so much fun catching up with friends and family after a while. Chhori was an absolute angel and was behaved so well.

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After a while Chhori was bit tired and I let her sleep for a while so she would be fresh and happy for the cake cutting.

As to our schedule, it was time for some entertainment and first up was me and my SIL. I felt nervous like as if it was my first time on the stage but once the music started the fun took over the fear. We both were more relaxed and started our performance.

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Before we knew it, the songs came to an end and I was glad that everyone enjoyed it too. We were showered with applause when we left the stage. I am so glad we captured the performance on video.

After our dance there were more performances that evening by my friends. I am so grateful that I have such a great family and friends who invested their time and energy to make Chhori’s pasni such a memorable evening.

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As I looked around, everyone was enjoying the evening and I could see that the guests were relaxed and mingling well.

While the performance was on, entree was served and after the performance, it was time to cut the cake. Chhori woke up just in time for that.

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The baker did a great job with the cake. It was what I had imagined and looked amazing. I, AS and Chhori cut the cake together. Amazingly, when we gave Chhori a piece of cake, she loved it so much that she started munching on it and we were pleasantly surprised. She loved the sweetness and she looked so cute with cake all over her face.

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After the cake, the dance floor was opened and every one joined us on the dance floor for hours to enjoy the evening. It was so much fun for all of us.

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In the meantime, dinner was served and everyone enjoyed the food and the dance and before I knew it, it was close to midnight and party was coming to an end.

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I am so happy the evening went as we planned and everyone enjoyed it. They told us that they had an amazing time and loved our organized celebration.

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We got some beautiful photos and videos from the day so when Chhori grows up, she too can enjoy watching her Pasni ceremony.

Hope you enjoyed the photos and the post as much as we did the occasion.

Take care everyone,
M from nepaliaustralian
XOXO

Pasni Puja for Chhori

There are many milestones once you have a child and Pasni is one of those big milestones in Nepalese culture. It was one I and AS, were really looking forward to once we had Chhori.

I read somewhere that you just need to have kids and they will grow up so fast and that seemed to be very true in our case already. Time has flown by and Chhori is already over 5 months and ready for her Pasni ceremony.

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The Pasni ceremony is also known as the rice feeding ceremony or Weaning Ceremony. I tis also called Annaprashan in Sanskrit which literally means grain initiation. It is the first time the baby is fed solid food. In Newari it is called Macha Junko.

AS parents sent us the sait, the auspicious day and time, for the pasni after consulting with an astrologer in Nepal. Once we knew the date, both of us were busy preparing for it for the next few weeks until the ceremony. As we are in Australia, everything needed to be arranged by AS and me and it kept us busy. If we were in Nepal, there would have been other family members who could have lent a hand.

I am just glad that we could buy everything we needed for the ceremony easily in Sydney. We also book the same priest who performed Chhori’s Nwaran.

Finally the big day arrived. I woke up early that morning and got ready in my red dupatta sari. The last time I had worn the dupatta sari was during our wedding so I was feeling special already. In the meantime AS got Chhori ready in her new clothes and we waited for the priest. My mum also made sagun. apungo and halwa for the puja.

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At 8am, the priest arrived and stared drawing mandap for the puja. He began the puja with AS sitting at the mandap and after a while asked me to join as well. Then Chhori joined us later, sitting on my lap and the puja continued.

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The first step was to worship Lord Ganesh and the sukunda and all the gods. He chanted mantras and blessed Chhori’s puja outfit and ornaments. The outfit was made of red silk (Taas) embroidered with golden threads and there were gold ornaments like a chain, earrings, bangles (with gold dragon on the ends) and silver anklets (kalli) to keep the bad omens at bay. Some of the ornaments were from my parents and some from AS parents.

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We then changed Chhori into her new outfit and put the kalli and bracelets on her and the ceremony continued.

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Next it was time to give Chhori the tray which had a book (symbolising learning), jewels (wealth), a pen (wisdom), clay (property), food items (a love for food) as well as a mobile phone (after instruction from priest) symbolising a computer genius 🙂 to Chhori.

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It is believed that the first thing the baby touches determines her future path and career. In our case, Chhori first grabbed the book and then the mobile phone so we are hoping she will like computers like her parents.

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After that, it was time for the big moment, Chhori’s first solid food. Normally in Newari culture, we have Thya Bu (a big plate with rice, eggs, yogurt, wine, fruits, roti, meat, fish, vegetables and much more) as the first meal but as we were here, it was near impossible to follow that tradition so we used Kheer (rice pudding) instead.

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My mum made a special kheer for Chhori with lots of milk boiled longer to make it softer. Everyone fed small portions to Chhori using a sliver bowl and a gold coin. She seemed to like the sweetness and kept asking for more; enjoying her first solid food.

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Then the priest blessed the baby and the puja was over but there was still more to come.

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The next step was to take the baby to a nearby temple, which for us was round a thirty minutes’ drive. We all hopped into the car and went to the temple in time for the aarti ceremony.

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After the aarti, the priest blessed the baby and then, my brother who is the mama (maternal uncle in Nepali) took the baby and went around the temple following tradition.pasni (18)

Chhori was so happy to be out seeing all the lights in the temple.

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Once we returned home, it was time for Sagun. My mum had prepared all the necessary items and I am so grateful that she was here with us. I can’t imagine what we would have done without her.

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First my parents put tika on the foreheads of AS, me and Chhori. Then they gave us clothes, fruits, rotis and other gifts.

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It was followed by Sagun to us and everyone present. This concluded the morning ceremony for the pasni.

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For rest of the day, we had our close friends and family coming over to bless Chhori and to celebrate the day. By the time everyone left that day, it was almost midnight.

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It was great day for us to see our daughter growing up and starting to eat sold food. My parents were really pleased to witness their granddaughter’s big day.

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In the next post I will write about the party we had for Chhori’s pasni celebration.

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Till then take care everyone.

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

My extra special Aama ko Mukh herne (Nepali Mother’s day)

As I have mentioned in many of my posts before, Nepal has a different calendar than the Gregorian calendar. So in Nepal people also celebrate Mother’s day on a different day than the western calendar. In Australia, Mother’s Day is the second Sunday of May every year but in Nepali calendar, it depends on the moon. It falls on the last day of the dark fortnight of April or early May. This year, it happened to be on 18 April 2015. It is commonly known as Aama ko Mukh herne in Nepal which translates to “Looking at one’s mother’s face”.

This year Aama ko Mukh herne was extra special because my mum is here with me. The last time we were together for Aama ko Mukh herne was more than a decade ago so I was really excited.

To make the day special for her I prepared Sagun, baked cupcakes and a cake. I also bought a dress, a nice watch, fruits, sweets and snacks.

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It was amazing to do the Aama ko Mukh herne ritual in person as compared to on Skype Aama ko Mukh herne.

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Mummy was really happy and I am glad I was able to make her feel special.

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Also this is my first Aama ko Mukh herne as a mum and just looking at Chhori smiling in the morning made my day extra special.

Aama ko Mukh herne, Mata Tirtha, Nepali Mother’s day

So if you haven’t called your mum to wish her, do give her a call and make her smile. And to all the proud moms out there, Happy Aama ko Mukh herne.

Till  next post take care everyone,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Superstitions Practices during Pregnancy in Nepali culture

As I come from a background where there are lots of superstitions and beliefs practiced till today. It is normal to hear dos and don’ts regarding pregnancy. I can see the logic behind some of the beliefs while about others I have no idea why they are followed.

In Nepal, they believe that when the baby is in the womb it picks up a lot from his/her surroundings and emotions and thoughts of the mother. Even though we may not realize his/her senses are active at that time, our actions have a great impact on babies even before they arrive on earth.

From the type of food to the mother’s daily actions, what to wear and what to do are some of the traditions that amazed me. Some of them I did considered following while others I couldn’t. Most of these superstitions don’t cost more money and doesn’t hurt anybody. It just may prove to be a little more inconvenient at times.

As educated as I am in the 21st century of advanced science, I am still scared sometimes not to follow the superstitions. At the back of my mind, I think that if something does happen to the baby, it will be my fault. I definitely do not follow the beliefs blindly but I do follow them as long as they sound reasonable enough and it are morally right.

Not announcing the pregnancy until after 3 months have passed

I wrote a whole post regarding this because I have my own idea why we shouldn’t announce the pregnancy very early. A higher percentage of miscarriages occur during the first trimester. Some people may feel it is just wiser to wait until after the period of instability is over. We did tell our immediate family members early and waited 3 months to tell the rest of the world, but at the end of the day it is a personal preference.

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Eating lots of almond, milk and saffron to have fair skin baby

I have talked about Asian people’s obsession with fair skin before in my blog. I thinking living in Australia for more than a decade now I have come to love my skin tone. Most people around always complement me about it and I am proud of my colour.

But in Nepal, they still believe that fair is beautiful. Everyone wants a fair baby regardless of the colour of parents’ skin. Most people will call a fair person beautiful disregarding any other quality.

So when I told people that I am having a baby, they asked me to drink lots of milk with saffron and almonds. Some of my friends and cousins swear by it.

I do drink plenty of milk for calcium and snack on almonds but don’t do saffron at all. But in my head, I can’t imagine my baby being too fair as both AS and I are brown and I am sure we are going to have a brown baby no matter what I eat or drink.

Not watching Horror/scary/action movie

I know lots of people have asked me not to watch scary movies/ TV during pregnancy. It’s advisable not to watch horror or action movies which involve a lot of blood during pregnancy because it is believed that it may indirectly effect the growing baby. Watching violent and horror stuff on television or reading such books can create fear or violence in your child.

I do see some logic behind this because when we watch such movies, our heart may pump heavily as we get excited and this could lead to pressure on our womb.

I generally don’t watch horror movies but I do watch lots of cops/ detective dramas so I am not sure what it is doing that to the baby. I think if you feel happy after watching a movie and not frightened then go for anything that you like.

Look at the photo/picture of great people or God

Lots of people believe that you should have a photo of a god/goddess or some famous person in your room while you are pregnant. It is also believed that keeping pictures of baby Lord Krishna and smiling faces around you in the room will also create a harmonious environment.

When my SIL was pregnant, my brother put up president Obama’s photo in their bedroom. I really don’t know what was going on in his head but if my nephew becomes a prime mister/president one day, then I will be sure that this theory works.

Also having photos of beautiful baby is supposed to make your baby beautiful as well.

Do not touch the baby in tummy during eclipse

It is believed that if one is expecting and there is an eclipse during that time both parents should be very careful and cautious. Parents should not do any activity like using a knife, scissors, pen as their child will have a mark or mole or cut on his body.  So during eclipse, one should not leave the house and should lie on the bed straight and stay indoors. Reading holy books during eclipse is beneficial for everyone specially couples expecting a baby.

Read holy/spiritual book

Parents who are more into spiritualism and read spiritual books during pregnancy believe that they notice their children will be coming from the same thought process because they read these books during pregnancy.

There is a myth people believe in for a long time in our holy book Gita.

Abhimanyu, who is the son of Arjuna & Subhadra (half-sister of lord Krishna). As an unborn child in his mother’s womb, Abhimanyu learned the knowledge of entering the deadly and virtually impenetrable Chakravyuha from Arjun. The epic explains that he overheard Arjun talking about this with his mother Subhadra from the womb. Arjun explains to Subhadra in detail, the technique of attacking and escaping from various vyoohs (an array of army formation) such as Makaravyoha, Kurmavyooha, and Sarpavyuha etc. After explaining all the vyoohs, he explains about the technique of cracking Chakravyuha. Arjun tells how to enter the Chakryavyuha. When he was about to explain how to exit from the Chakravyuha, he realizes that Subhadra is asleep and stops explaining about the Chakravyuha further. Thus the baby Abhimanyu in the womb did not get a chance to learn how to come out of it, which played a big role in his life.

Be around and in contact with positive and cheerful people.

I completely agree with this one because you don’t need extra stress during pregnancy apart from what you are already going through. If the mom to be is depressed and sad most of the time during pregnancy it will affect the child in the same manner.

I made sure that I only met people who had a positive attitude so I didn’t dwell on negative thoughts and kept myself happy during the journey.

Reciting, chanting or listening to devotional mantras

Good, peaceful thoughts and reciting, chanting or listening to devotional mantras plays a great role at the time one is expecting.  It is believed that if you listen to devotional mantras when the baby is in the tummy, he/she will have a calm personality.

Wearing loose clothing

You don’t want to show off your pregnancy in case you get an evil eye from someone. They even suggest wearing scarfs (kasto) so people won’t notice you are pregnant. Making sure you stay away from evil eyes and evil thought seems to be very important in Nepali culture.

For me it was not possible for me to wear covered clothing as most of my pregnancy was during spring and summer. I was happy to wear comfortable clothes that were not too tight but never went beyond that to make people think I was not pregnant.

Until around 5 months, I think it was not a problem anyway as it was not obvious but after that no matter what I wore, it was obvious.

I am sure there are a lot of other superstations and beliefs in Nepali/Newari culture I could add to this list. But I am going to stop here.

Please do share superstitions and practices during pregnancy in your culture. I am sure there are some interesting ones and some weird ones out there.

Till  next post take care everyone,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Nwaran for Chhori

I know I am posting this late because Chhori is already a month now.

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Nwaran was performed when she was 11 days old.

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Nwaran ceremony is also known as Machabu Byakegu in Newari. This ceremony is performed to give a birth name to a child according to his/her lunar horoscope; this is usually not the name by which he/she will be known. This ceremony is normally small and celebrated amongst close family.

Typically, a priest is invited to perform the ceremony at home, and divines the child’s lunar horoscope from his birth details, as the mother is still recovering at home with the child. Until the mother and child are ‘purified’ (from past birth etc. in the religious sense), they should not visit the temple.

For the occasion, I wore a red sari which was specially brought from Nepal by my mum for the occasion. It was a cotton sari which is what new mums are supposed to wear for the occasion.

As soon as Chhori was born, we booked a priest for the ceremony and he gave us a list of things that are required for the day and everything was ready when he arrived at my place at 8.30 am on the day of the ceremony.

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The main ceremony was conducted in the balcony of our apartment.  Before the priest arrived we had cleaned and mopped the place. So, when he arrived, he started making a Mandap on the balcony. Once it was ready he asked AS to come and join him for the Puja.

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He had all his books of mantras and it took more than an hour for the first phase of the Puja to finish. It involved lots of mantra reciting from the books and lots of different Pujas to God, with candles on the Mandap.

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Then he asked me and Chhori to join the Puja. He chanted more mantras from the book. Then he asked me to perform Puja to the sun. Then he put tika on Chhori’s forehead and gave him a piece of paper which had details required to make her Jaata (lunar horoscope chart).

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Then my SIL took Chhori for Surya Darshan, i.e. to let the sunray fall on her as a blessing. Then the priest put Tika on AS, me and rest of the family. He also put Janai (holy string) around our wrists.

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After the ceremony, the priest left and the family function started. My parents, with the help of my brother and SIL, had prepared lots of trays of gifts for us and Chhori. It included sari and other gifts for me, clothes for AS and lots of clothes, toys, and manchester for Chhori as well as trays of sweets and fruits.

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The special thing required was special sliver bowl and spoon which my mum has got from Nepal.

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My parents put tika for AS, me and Chhori and gave us blessing and gifts. It was really nice and special to have all my family here for the occasion.

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Till  next post take care everyone,

from nepaliaustralian

XOXO