Category Archives: Published

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Posted on December 4, 2013 | 13 comments

This article was published in DREAMS online magazine on 3rd December 2013.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

 

I have to start this post by stating that I am a normal girl with a healthy weight and BMI who loves to cook and eat healthy food most of the times.

However, I have days when I look at the mirror and don’t like what I see. I know I am not alone in this. There are times when all of us feel like we are not beautiful, our body is not normal, and basically have a bad day.

On good days, I think I have a good body which can be bettered with exercise. But on bad days, all I see is the flaws of my body. My muscles can be more toned, my face can be prettier, my stomach can be flatter, my hair can be better, my skin can be cleaner, and the list can go on forever. Basically, I want a supermodel body and flat stomach. I go on diets and workout hard for it. But the best part of this phase is that I wake up in a good mood, and so have a good day.

I am a mature woman, so I know the difference between reality and fantasy. Also, having a husband who thinks I am beautiful and attractive helps.

But all this made me wonder how girls these days are coping with the image issue. When I was growing up, I never wanted to be a Barbie or some hot supermodel. I never saw girls with super-hot body attractive, so I did not diet to look like them. Nor did I read any magazines that gave me body issue problems.

But kids these days have it very tough in this matter. They get ideas about what is a perfect body from a very young age from perfectly groomed role models with great bodies. The fairy-tale characters in children’s books, dolls, and cartoons are designed to be perfect looking, and so are everyone else from TV and magazines. No wonder so many children suffer from anorexia, bulimia and depression.

And then there are fads like “size 0 figure”, so that even girls as young as 10 think they don’t have a good body, and start dieting. Most of these kids are letting their body define who or what they are rather than their personality. They think that all thin people are happy with themselves, and they want to be one of them.

Then I look around to where these kids are inspired from. Just open any teen magazine, watch any movie or music video. What do you see? Skinny girls portrayed as hot. Look at fashion week, and it will be hard to see a model who has normal curves like everyday women. This is so sad to see.

Does that mean 95 percent of the population of the world who are not models are not normal and healthy? Did any of these organizers give a thought to why anorexia, bulimia and depression are on the rise among young people?

I always advocate that healthy eating habits with exercise is the best way to live life. 10 -12 years old kids are too young to worry about their looks and body. They should be running around in parks with their friends with no worries in their head. At 10,  I am sure I was eating as many chocolates as I could get my hands on, without worrying about anything in the world. Body image issues should be the last thing on their mind.

We definitely need more programs which teach young people to accept that bodies come in a variety of shapes and sizes. It is normal for the body to change weekly and monthly in weight and shape. They need to know that apart from looks, everyone has other positive qualities and we should focus on them.

If you are an adult and you have body image issues, do something about it instead of getting depressed. Decide how you wish to spend your time and energy. Do you want the pursuit of perfect image to occupy most of your time? Or would you rather enjoy the people and positive things in your life?

Look at yourself as a growing, changing human being and be realistic, you can’t get 20’s body in your 40’s.

Most important, be aware of your own weight prejudice. I have never met any women so far who is perfectly happy with how she looks. So don’t be too hard on yourself.

Simply be happy, eat healthy and exercise regularly, and teach younger ones the same values. Everything outside of you is merely a reflection of everything inside.

Hope everyone is having a great week.

Till next post, take care.

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

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Patience is a virtue

Posted on October 21, 2013 | 4 comments

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in September 2013 issue.

977 blog

I am sure all of you have heard this phrase many times in your life. A wise man once proclaimed, “All good things come to those who wait.” This is taught to us from a very young age at home by our parents as well as in school by our teachers. The ability to wait for something or someone without being angry or upset is a good and valuable quality.

In the modern world, it feels like everything moves at a million miles per hour and patience is the first thing thrown out of the window. And living in this modern world, I hated waiting for things too. I was like most people who wanted thing done now and moved on to the next task.

The troubling thing about impatience is that it caused me a lot of stress.  I constantly felt like I was left behind, and that I should have accomplished so much more.  This feeling led me to becoming upset with myself, and I acted out by not getting anything done.  The impatience that had kept me going throughout my life was failing me and I was miserable about it.

Then things changed when I got married. It’s no surprise to anyone that getting married will change a person and for me it changed me to be a better person.

My husband is super patient man and being married to him and knowing him better taught me that patience could be blessing. Seeing him less stressed in same situation we both are in and at the end accomplishing the same result, I wondered why was I so stressed. We are still working to come to middle ground so we both are in the same pace but he has definitely taught me how not to get too stressed. I know that being patient will make me happier and I am learning to be patient with people and situations I care about. Slowly but surely I am getting there. I began to have more time to spend in the moment that I was in.  I had less of a worry about the next step and I was able to focus more on the task at hand than I ever had been able to before.

Definitely, Patience is a skill that we all must learn.

Honestly, all of us have become really impatient because of the advances in technology. People now can get access to information much faster than people in previous generations could and still they are impatient when they have to wait even a few minutes.

How many times do you refresh your inbox when you are waiting for an email? We live in a society of instant gratification these days and we want everything thing now. We are not willing to have the patience to wait for those things that we desire. Imagine the olden days when communication was done using carrier pigeon or using our favorite postman. Then we were OK to wait months or days for a message while we can’t even wait a few minutes these days without getting annoyed.

How many of us get annoyed waiting more than a few seconds for a website to load? We have already forgotten in the last few years that, internet used to be dial up once and we had to wait for minutes in some cases for webpages to load. Moreover, we were OK with that then.

I am very frustrated by the drivers in Sydney for sure. They are so impatient and really think they own the road so they drive without thinking. The worst part is that they are not only endangering their own life but also people around them.

I also don’t understand the impatience of parents pushing prams or holding hands of young kids while jaywalking, and not using the pedestrian crossing to cross the road. Seriously, what kinds of parents expose their child to such a danger just to save few minutes? In addition, what kind of education they are giving their young children? I am sure walking a few minutes further to a proper pedestrian crossing would have cost them nothing.

We all have encountered people who have no patience at all and ruin the day for everyone around them. I had such an encounter the other day.

I went to subway to buy my lunch. I was behind a woman in the queue. There were two people before her in the queue and two girls serving. Normally the lines in subway are pretty organised as you start ordering at one end and you just follow the flow. So when the customer service girl asked the woman in front of me what she liked, as she was next in line suddenly, the guy on the other side just burst and said,” What the F*** is this? I am in line before her?” All of us were a bit surprise because he just raised his voice and started swearing and he was not even standing in the proper queue.

The poor girl behind the counter had no idea that he was waiting. He could have said the same words in a polite manner instead of shouting. Seriously, his sudden outburst didn’t make him a hero instead we all thought he was a looser to be taking out his anger on a poor girl just doing her job. I am sure nothing in this world would have changed if he was served after that lady. That was definitely one impatient man.

With the fast pace of life, it is easy to see why so many people are impatient. I know many will argue that many people are impatient because they are just born that way. But as with any bad habit, we need to work on it so we change it to be a better person. Each person is responsible for their actions. So please take a second and think about this next time you run out of patience.

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*Living in the west with values of the east *Recycling and reusing in Nepal *Slave of Smartphone and Instant messaging

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Living in the west with values of the east

Posted on October 4, 2013 | 15 comments

This article was published in DREAMS online magazine on 3rd October 2013.

dreams

When I was living in Nepal, I used to be annoyed and irritated by Nepali culture, tradition and values from time to time. Sometimes, I wished that I could run away from all that and live my life the way I wanted. And my wish was fulfilled when I left Nepal to come to Australia.

Having lived outside the country for more than decade now, I know how wrong my thoughts were. These days, I miss our culture, tradition, rituals and values that I used to ignore before. Not only do I miss it, I actually want to be a part of it and hope to pass it on to my kids and grand-kids one day, like my mother and grandmother did.

The festive season of Dashain and Tihar is here, and it is one of my favourite times of the year. This festive time has helped me connect with Nepal, Nepali culture and tradition. Before, I used to wish things could be as good in Australia as in Nepal, but that was just wishful thinking. So instead of being sad and depressed, this time I decided that we would celebrate the festivals with whatever we could.

With the motto, “If the mountain will not come to M, then M must go to the mountain”, we bring Nepali style Dashain and Tihar to Sydney. For the last few years, I have been having a lot of fun in Nepali festivals here.

For Dashain, I plant Jamara during Ghatasthapana, and it is ready for Tika day. During Asthami, Nawami and Dashami, we plan a Newari bhoj to mark the days.

Last year we had Kuchi Bhwey, a Newari bhoj consisting of Baji/Chiura(beaten/flattened rice), Chicken curry, Spinach, Methi kerau (fenugreek and peas), Thulo kerau (big peas), Golbheda achar (tomato pickle), Butan(meat fry), Aloo tama(potatoes with bamboo shoots), and Methi(fenugreek) salad on Asthami.

On Nawami, we followed the tradition and performed a worship of our car. Later we had Samay Baji, a Newari dish consisting of Baji/Chiura(beaten/flattened rice) , Haku Mushya (black soyabean), Chhwela (smoked meat), Puka-la (spicy roasted meat), Aalu achar (cold potato salad ), Bhuti (boiled beans with spices), Khyen (boiled egg), Panchkwa (bamboo shoot, potato, beans mixed curry), Wo or Bara (shallow fried pancakes made of black lentil), Lava-palu (ginger and garlic), Achar (pickle), Wauncha (green vegetables) and Aayla (Newari liquor).

On Vijaya Dashmi, we normally take a day off from work so we can have fun with our loved ones. It is always fun to be blessed by elders with red Tika and Jamara. Following Tika, there are a few days where we get invited for tika, and this normally concludes the celebration of Dashain.

After a few weeks, we celebrate Tihar in full swing as well. I know people overseas normally celebrate only Bhai Tika but I didn’t want to miss out on the other days. So I perform Kag Tihar, Kukkur Tihar, Laxmi Puja and Mha Puja as well.

I haven’t seen many crows around in Sydney, so I decided to print a photo of a crow to perform my puja with. I know it sounds a bit silly, but it helps me to celebrate the festival. I did the same during Kukur Puja, printed the photo of a dog that my parents have in Nepal. If you ever feel like celebrating Tihar in full swing, you may want to follow my ideas.

I love Laxmi Puja as it make me feel happy and there is so much to do. We start the evening by lighting fairy lights and candles. Then I perform Laxmi Puja to the best to my knowledge. I normally print out the Mandap and Laxmi’s footsteps so I can perform the puja. Living overseas, we have to make do with whatever we can rather than missing out in the belief that we can’t do it.

Following Laxmi Puja, we performed Mha Puja with my brother, cousins, and friends. Mha Puja is such a great way to come together and have fun in our Newar culture. For this puja too we used printed mandaps, which made it easy for us to set up the puja. Like in Nepal, we have Shagun (a traditional plate typically consisting of a boiled egg, smoked fish, a “bara”, haku chhoila”  and “aila”, which ends with “dhau”) and bless our body for good health.

And finally, there is the Bhai Tika, which is always a big deal for me. I have two brothers on whom I perform the Puja, and I wanted to make sure it is a great celebration. I and my cousin even learned how to make Sel Roti, so our celebration is a lot like Nepal’s. I prepare for Bhai Tika weeks in advance, making masala (pack of dry fruits & nuts) and buying fruits, snacks and clothes. I prepare Shagun on the day and bake cakes for puja as well. I am always happy to see my brothers enjoying the day with me, and blessing me with happiness and gifts.

Not only celebrating Dashain and Tihar, but we try to do whatever we can to be in touch with Nepalese tradition and culture. Recently, my nephew had his 6th birthday, and it was celebrated with yomari (a newari delicacy made of external covering of rice-flour and an inner content of treacle) mala like in Nepal. One of my nephews was born here in Australia, so we did his chatti and nwaran (naming ceremony) according to Hindu rituals. We celebrate Teej every year wearing red and eating yummy Nepalese cuisine. And whenever possible, we go to Nepal to celebrate milestones like marriage and pasni. We had a traditional Newari wedding which went for over a week, and my nephew had his pasni in Nepal with our relatives and friends.

Even though I don’t have kids of my own right now, I know that they are affected by many thing in life, but their strongest main values are learned from their parents, society and surrounding environment. I know that even in Nepal, with globalisation we are losing some of our traditional values fast, while we adopt easily imitable aspects of western culture. Nepal has a unique blend of culture and customs, and people travel millions of miles to learn and observe these in Nepal. It will be a shame for our kids not to know their own customs, traditions, and rituals.

I hope my effort in bringing our eastern culture to the west will help my kids and their kids to learn more about Nepal, Nepali culture, traditions, rituals and values, so that they know their root and can be proud of it. I have been away from Nepal for a long time, but I still cherish the values that I have learned, and I hope one day, our next generation will do the same.

Happy Dashain and Tihar to all readers. No matter where you are, enjoy it in full swing!!!!

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*Confessions of a Shoeholic *Recycling and reusing in Nepal *Slave of Smartphone and Instant messaging

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Burgundy for winter

Posted on September 18, 2013 | 8 comments

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in August-September 2013 issue.

fashion

Burgundy is the new black and it is a great way to add colour during cold winter days and move away from boring black and grey. Fashionistas are calling the colour oxblood but you can call it wine coloured, maroon, claret or just plain burgundy  and it is back in season.

From coats to dresses, from skirts to socks, burgundy gives your style the special touch and it is such a beautiful colour. Age does not matter because burgundy flatters from young to old. Sex doesn’t matter either because both men and women can wear this colour and look fashionable.  The colour can be worn with almost any piece of apparel. In addition, it is a great colour for transition phase between winter and spring. This colour can be easily used from top to toe and here are some of the amazing pieces.

How to wear burgundy?

  • Pair your burgundy with a lighter piece from the same colour family, like pastel pink or pale rose.
  • Mix burgundy pieces with luxe prints like brocades, paisleys, silk stripes for a regal look.
  • For work, use burgundy as a neutral and mix with colours like charcoal grey and olive.
  • Wear with a piece in a sheer fabric so that it reads more lightweight.
  • Pair your faded jeans look with plain burgundy cotton tops.
  • Wear burgundy lip colour with brown pencil eyeliner and gold eye shadow or brown mascara and liquid gold eyeliner.

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 *Pretty in Pastels this SUMMER

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It is four asterisks

Posted on September 16, 2013 | 2 comments

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in August-September 2013 issue.

977 magI am an IT graduate and I have been working in the IT industry for a while but if a decade ago someone saw how I was with computer, then they would have advised me to never go near computers.

While growing up, I didn’t have the luxury of playing with and learning computers like kids todays do. I don’t know how these kids’ tiny brain are wired that they know what to do with the iPhones and iPads but back when I was young, my brain was seemed to work in a straight line. I used to go out to play with my neighbours’ kids and we had dolls, play hide and seek or just run. Some days we came home with dirt all over our clothes and face but it used to be a fun filled childhood. The closest I came to technology was owning an LCD brick game. I am not sure if any of you remember those but they were Tetris type old game with awesome sounds and I have to admit it used to be so much fun. We owned only one so sometimes I had to fight with my brother to play it.

Anyway, when we were in school, computers were just coming slowly to Nepal. I was in year 5 when I saw a computer for the first time at school but not until I was in year 6 that my uncle bought a computer at home and I was able to use it. He was teaching computers at one of the schools so it was essential for him to own one. But those days not many people would buy a computer as it was super expensive, I think prices started from over RS 50,000. And those computers were not  as fast as the ones we have today being an Intel 80486 with black/ blue screen. I still remember learning MS Dos on it. And who can forget the floppy disks and the trouble we all had with them.

The new computer at home was the new toy for everyone and especially to my uncle. He used to work hours in front of the computer and used to program and do other stuff I didn’t understand. After a while, I got to know that there were a few very interesting games installed on the computer. My uncle taught us how to play some of them and they were so addictive. Not only was it fun but as a kid it was a different world. The bad part about this all was that we were only allowed to play on the computer supervised. Rest of the time the computer was out of our reach as it was password protected.

So, one day when my uncle was starting the computer, I watched what he did and saw that he hit four stroke on the keyboard where it said password. It came as asterisks on the screen.  I wanted to learn all about this new device so I tried to remember the password.

Next time when I was talking with my uncle, I told him that now I knew how to start the computer and play the games on my own. He said that I couldn’t as it was password protected to which I replied “I know your password, it is four asterisks.”

 I know everyone must be thinking what an ignorant kid I was but in my mind, that is exactly what I saw. And I had no way of knowing anything more about computers until I took computer classes in school few years later.

Today when I look back and remember that incident, it makes me laugh thinking that the girl who didn’t know anything about computers is working in an IT industry now. The girl who couldn’t differentiate between asterisk and a real password is earning her living working with computers.

Now from a super-slow computer I have moved to super-fast computers and my mobile phone alone is more powerful than my first computer.  I can’t imagine my life without computers and internet and these days any year 6 student will be a lot smarter than I was back then.

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