Category Archives: Family

Our Story : Meeting the Parents – Part 13

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 and Part 12.

Once we left the café, we headed towards my home. I told AS not to worry at all as my parents were very cool but I knew that AS and I both were bit nervous. I kind of knew my parents will like him but at the same time I wanted them to love him as well.

It was as a huge milestone in our relationship and it was exciting and promising. After all, it indicated to me that AS felt positive about the future of our relationship together. I knew that it had not been very long ago that we started our relationship but we didn’t have lots of time as both of us were leaving the country in a month’s time.

When we reached home, dad was busy with someone downstairs and mum was in the kitchen, I asked him to wait for them in our living room and went to the kitchen to fetch my mother. Both my parents are not very talkative people so I was a bit worried how the meeting would be.

My mum came to the room and I introduced them. He did Namaste and then they talked for a few minutes. Then my dad arrived as well and my mum left to go to the kitchen as there was a feast being readied for AS. My dad and AS seemed to be getting on well so I was relived. You always want your parents to like your partner as it makes it easy for you to deal with both of them. As I saw AS was comfortable with my dad , I left them for a moment to go to the kitchen and see what my mum was up to.

When I got to the kitchen I saw that she was busy preparing lunch. I told her that we are very full and there is no need for lunch, may be just tea and snacks but she said that it was AS’s first visit so he has to eat some nice food. I knew I was not going to win in this instance so I just gave in.

I asked my mum how she liked AS and she told me that he looked like a nice guy. I took the tea and some snack with me to serve AS and my dad. By then I am sure both of them were feeling comfortable with each other.

AS ate some snacks and had his tea. Then my mum told everyone that lunch was ready so we went upstairs to eat. I couldn’t believe that my mum cooked so many different dishes and AS’s plate seemed to have heaps of every one of them. I felt a bit sorry for AS as I knew both of us were full form our lunch together. So I went and tried to take some things off his plate but my mum caught me in the act and didn’t let me.

My dad and AS sat down for lunch but I decline to eat. My tummy had no room for food and I was bit nervous as well.

To my surprise by the end of lunch AS had finished every item on his plate. And no wonder my mum was so pleased. He even praised my mum’s cooking. But it was not over yet. My mum also served some sweets and knowing AS and his love for sweets, he ate them too.

After lunch, AS stayed for a while and then he had to leave as he had plans at home for the evening. I told him I was sorry that he had to eat so much but he said that he loved it and enjoyed his meal. I accompanied him till the gate of our house and then came back upstairs to hear what my parents thought.

Both my parents were extremely pleased with him and my mum was super happy that her future “jwain” (son in law) was so easy to feed unlike me and my brother. They told me to that they were happy with my choice.

I was over the moon when I heard that as I really wanted my family’s approval to take our relation further. That night I slept well but the next day was a different story.

The next morning I woke up, had breakfast and got ready to meet AS’s parents.

I never knew that meeting your partner’s parents could also be so intimidating.  I was wondering what was in store for the future of your relationship together if his parents didn’t like me.  I had so many conflicting thoughts and emotions that were running through my mind. But I tried to put all negative thoughts behind me and started concentrating on the day.

I know first impressions are often lasting impressions, and I absolutely wanted to dress to impress his parents on the big day of introduction. I wanted to look attractive, presentable, and fashionable so I put on my best Kurta suruwal, did my makeup and hair and waited for AS to pick me up. The plan was to meet his parents and then we would leave to do some shopping in the city. I was really scared to spend a very long time with them in case I stuffed things up. It had sounded like a good idea at the time we had decided to meet each other’s parents but in real life most plans don’t work out as expected so I was a little bit nervous.

When I reached AS’s place, I met his mum and dad. Both or his brothers were not home. Both my future in laws made me feel at ease and talked to me as if they had known me forever but I was nervous in answering them. They asked me some basic questions about where I work or what I studied and what are my plans for the future. AS’s mum talked most of the time while his dad listened and made some comments in between. From time to time, I looked at AS when answering question but he was just there smiling at me. I really wanted things to go well that day. While we were talking, suddenly they had some unexpected visitor, AS’s uncle (his dad’s elder brother) and aunt.

I was now more nervous about what to do and say as it was not in our plan. AS’s mum introduced me to them and they started talking to me too. As they had some other plans, they didn’t stay long.

After they left AS’s mum asked me to stay for lunch (morning Bhat dal). I told her that I am full from breakfast but she said that she was not letting me go without eating something as it was my first time to their home. Seriously every mum seemed to have the same agenda, to feed everyone that they can get their hands on. It was sweet of her but it was not going to be an easy time for me.

First of all, I was full from breakfast and second of all I didn’t prefer eating dal bhat in the morning. But I sat down with AS and his dad while mum served us food. The food was yummy but it took a long time to finish what I had on my plate. AS’s mum wanted me to eat more but I kindly refused. I was just glad when I finished what I had on my plate. I really didn’t want to be rude and not finish my meal.

Finally once we finished, AS got ready and we left. I said my good byes and we were off to the city.

Once we were on our own, I asked how he thought I was. He said I looked so nervous that he felt it was funny. I am a talkative person but I lost all my words when I was in his house.

Later AS told me that his parents were happy to meet me and wanted to meet my parents next.

So after a few days, our parents talked on the phone and decided to meet. AS’s parents came over to our place for dinner. We made sure many varieties were prepared and they had a great time with my parents.

After the meeting, both of us were happy as we had taken the next step in our relationship.

We thought the tough time had passed but there was more to come. I will tell you next time. Till then take care.

Please share your Meeting the Parents story. Were you scared?

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 14

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*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

 

Our Story: Memories from the past – Part 7

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and Part 6.

After I finished chatting with AS I boarded the plane to my destination, Kathmandu.  My fight to Nepal was around 3.5 hours. During the 8 hours conversation with AS at one point I was thinking, I wish life was simple and I could get a man like AS. At that point I didn’t see any possibility of AS being my partner as I was 100% sure there was no way AS would ever go for a gal like me. I knew him in school and talking in chats and Skype, I got to know him better.

I knew he was a family orientated simple guy who was an introvert while I was an extrovert who laughs loud and talks all the time. A blind person would have easily seen the differences between us.

But that conversation had cleared my mind. I was mentally prepared to get married with someone nice and fulfil all my dreams. I decided that it was time for me to get married and settle down so that I could plan of my future. The marriage thing definitely was blocking my life from moving ahead as I didn’t know what to expect in the future so didn’t plan anything at all.

The flight to Kathmandu was smooth and I was finally in Nepal. When I landed in Nepal, it was very exciting. It was nice to meet my parents after over a year.

My mum had cooked my favourite dishes and I was delighted to eat all the yummy food. I was really looking forward to going on holiday with my parents.

It was Sunday afternoon and we were going to catch a flight for our Nepal and India tour the next afternoon as from Tuesday there was a Nepal Bandh (Nepal closed down due to political reason). It was really annoying that I didn’t get to rest well but if we didn’t fly out on Sunday we might not be able to go on holiday as we didn’t know how long the Nepal Bandh was going to last.

That afternoon I called AS and told him that I was going out of the valley for holiday and may not be in touch for a while. I gave my new mobile number and asked him to message me when his flight to Kathmandu was finalised.

That evening I was going through my old stuffs in my room when I stumble on a box from school and it had lots of old pictures and my memo book.

The old photos were so awesome, so many stories, so many memories and so much fun to look at. It felt like that it was just yesterday that I was enjoying going hiking, going to restaurants or just mocking around with my friends from school. It is true what they say that school days are the best time of your life.

Our old photos (2) Our old photos (1)

One of the things I did on the last week of school was made a memory book and asked all my friends to drop a few words for me. I knew it would be a great memory for future.

Going through that memo book was bringing back lots of memory. Most of my friends wrote few words or half a page but when I reached the page that AS wrote, I was surprised that he managed to write 3 pages. Seriously, I didn’t notice that much before but going through that I was feeling good. He always knew what to say. It felt really good to read it again.

 memo book

I had dinner and spend some time with my parents. Unpack stuffs from Australia and packed a smaller suitcase to take with me for our next holiday.

Next morning, as I was getting ready to go to the airport, AS call me on my phone.

AS: hello

Me: hello

AS: glad I caught you before you left for the airport

Me: Ya, just getting ready to go now. Waiting for mum to finish.

AS: Just want to wish you a great holiday. I know you’re gonna enjoy it

Me: I hope it will be fun as planned. Both my parents are excited to go and I am just happy that I will be with them 24 x 7 for the next 2 weeks.

AS: I think I can call you while you are still in Nepal but when you cross the border into India, I may not be able to.

Me: Let me see if I can buy a sim in India. Let you know if that is a possibility. Either way give me the good news when I return.

AS: Hope so .OK, take care and have a safe journey .What time is your flight?

Me: At 2pm

AS: OK have fun

Me: Thanks. Take care.

He hung up the phone. My parents were ready to leave so we went to the airport to board our flight to Bhadrapur airport. There we would be met by tour guide who would take us around Darjeeling and Sikkim in India and to Illam and Pashupathi Nagar in Mirik in Nepal.

It was a nightmare at the domestic airport in Nepal. It didn’t even look like an airport. It was chaos everywhere and we didn’t even know when to board the plane.  We just waited in the waiting area and hoped that we will hear the announcement for our flight.

I heard someone shout our flight number so told my parents to get ready to board. At that time, AS sent me a text,” Remember to enjoy your holiday. Have fun for me as well.”

It definitely brought a smile to my face and was thanking god for sending a good friend back into my life.

I replied “Thanks and I will have a great time 🙂

We boarded the plane and took off for a nice holiday away from everyday life. It was my first time to Darjeeling and Sikkim and I was really looking forward to all the nice things the places have to offer.

I will write more about the journey to Darjeeling and Sikkim next so do come back for more. Till then take care.

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 8

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*Our Story: Singapore airport – Part 6 *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

My nephew’s Pasni Party

After the Pasni Puja in the morning everyone was tired including the little one but there was no time to rest as we had a reception organised for 300+ people that evening to celebrate the Pasni ceremony. Pasni ceremonies have become very lavish these days, with large parties of not just close relatives, but also colleagues and friends being invited for the event. As my nephew was the first grand kid for my parents and for my SIL’s parents, they wanted to make sure everyone necessary was invited.

After lunch my MIL, FIL and AS left for home to get some rest and also to get ready for the evening. So as soon as I finished eating, I rushed to my parents’ house to prepare for the evening. There was not much to do as these days you just need to order catering in the party venue and they look after everything for you.

PARTY PASNI (11) PARTY PASNI (9)

So I just made sure that mum was ok with what to wear for the evening and she didn’t need any help. My SIL had 2 of her cousins helping her to get ready. We had already decided that my nephew was going to change into a red velvet pasni dress with blue and gold embroidery that I had bought for him.

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So it was my turn to be ready and be there before guest arrived. I first went and did my hair and make-up. I was so excited to wear the special sari I had designed and ordered. It took me more than 2 hours to finally be party ready. When I was done AS picked me up to go to the party venue.

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When we arrived at the venue, most of our close relatives were there already and a photo session was going on with my nephew.

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He was looking really cute and adorable in the red velvet special pasni dress.We made sure we got heaps of family photos as well as photo of the little man.

PARTY PASNI (1)

Proud Grandparents

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Slowly guests started to come one by one. There were lots of relatives from my mum and dad’s sides so I spent lots of time mingling and making sure that everyone was looked after properly.

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Also AS’s side of the family including his aunts, uncles and cousins were invited. Once they arrived at the party I was even busier as I had to talk to everyone and make sure they were eating and drinking properly.

PARTY PASNI (13)

By this time, the dance floor was slowly getting busy with my uncles, aunts and cousins dancing. I wanted to join them as well but it was a bit hard for me initially as I didn’t know what my in-laws would think. For me party has always been more about dancing and fun more than food but being a new DIL and having all AS’s close relatives at the party, I didn’t want to  go and jump on the dance floor.

PARTY PASNI (6)

But then one of AS’s aunt showed her desire to join the dance floor and asked me if we shouldn’t enjoy ourselves too. That was the only excuse I needed so I asked all AS’s relative to join us on the dance floor. And yes, that included my MIL as well. I am so glad my MIL took it well and did show her few moves . It was really fun and nice of everyone to just go with the flow attitude. Also AS and his cousins joined and we had a great time. I had to go away from dance floor from time to time to meet relatives who had recently arrived but I was really enjoying everything. I also had few of my good friend joining us for the celebration.

PARTY PASNI (8)

The evening went quickly and slowly guest started to leave in ones and twos. By the end of the evening only close relatives were left so we all had our meal as well. We made sure everything was OK and then left for home.

PARTY PASNI (5)

Proud Grand ma

It was really great to be a part of the celebration and it was nice to meet everyone during the celebration.  One of the nicest memories I had from Nepal this trip.

PARTY PASNI (12)

Happy Fufu

And my nephew was an angel whole day. He didn’t cry and was smiling at everyone. He was held by more than 200+ hands that evening but he was just smiling and playing with everyone that everyone was so impressed to see such a playful happy baby.

He is growing up so fast and every time I see him, there are some nice changes with him. These days he has learnt how to move his fingers in the “come here” sign so it is so cute to watch him do that. Sometimes he is so amazed that he can do that, he keeps on looking at his own hands. Also he is falling in love with himself. Every time he is in front of the mirror, all he does is smile,

Celebrating AS birthday in Nepal

I always wanted to celebrate AS’s birthday in a special way but last few years we were never in Sydney to have a lavish birthday party for him. AS’s birthday falls at the end of December and we always have a holiday around that time and so we are away from Sydney. I always feel guilty that I celebrate my birthday with a bunch of friends invited while his last two birthdays were celebrated by just the two of us if we don’t count the random strangers in the restaurant.

But this year he had a very special birthday and I am really happy about it. First of all we were in Nepal during his birthday which made it extra special.

On 28 December, me and AS went to a restaurant called Transit and celebrated his birthday. It was a special dinner for both of us and we indulge in snacks and pizzas. They had a live band playing some nice classic English songs so we had a great time.

transit birthday (2)

As the owner of the restaurant was someone I knew, I arranged a surprised cake for him and he was really happy. It was just a piece of his favourite double chocolate cake.  Also he got complimentary drinks on the house. And that was just a start of his birthday celebrations.

Celebrating AS's Birthday

transit birthday (3)

As I have mentioned many times before, Nepali calendar is different than English calendar. In Nepal, birthdays are not celebrated by date but by teethi (according to position of moon and planets). So he had his teethi birthday again after a week of his birthday as per the English calendar. That day, we celebrated his birthday in the traditional manner.

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His mum prepared puja and sagun for the birthday. In the morning, he sat down and his mum performed the janmadin (birthday) puja. First gods including Lord Ganesh were worshipped. Then, tika was put on AS’s forehead as blessing. It was followed by sagun (egg, bara, chicken, fish) and gifts from his family. It had been more than a decade since AS got to celebrate his birthday according to Nepali tradition so it was a happy moment for all of us.

AS birthday (2)AS birthday (3)

AS birthday (4)AS birthday (1)

That evening, we had ordered a cake. So with his brothers and parents we cut the cake. It was his favourite rich chocolate and we all loved it too 🙂

Then, we went to a restaurant, 8 degrees with his family to enjoy the rest of the evening. The place was not too busy so we enjoyed our time there. The food was flavoursome. It was a great day for AS as he was spoiled with gifts and wishes the whole day.

treat for AS family (1)-tile

treat for AS family (5)

Then the next day, we went out again to celebrate his birthday and this time with my family. We took my parents, my brother, SIL and little nephew for lunch to celebrate in a Newari restaurant called Falcha. The food was hot and spicy there but all of us were happy to enjoy each other’s company. My nephew enjoyed his outing as well. We had a good time and my parents and my brother also had a gift for him.

treat for my family (1)-tile treat for my family (2)

Overall I am super happy since AS got to have a great birthday in Nepal. I also spoiled him with many gifts and I feel good that he enjoyed his time here in Nepal with our families.

I wish him all the best for rest of his life. Love you dear.

Update from Nepal Part 3

Skinny and photogenic

90% of the people I meet in Nepal told me that I am too skinny and I need to put on some weight. I am not underweight so I am happy with it and as you all know I try very hard with exercise and healthy food to maintain my figure but most people in Nepal have their own ideas about my weight.

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In the beginning I used to get annoyed about it but now I am so used to it that I ignored all these comments with a smile :). Also if you look around Kathmandu, most gals are either similar weight like mine or even skinnier than me so I have no idea why they think I need to put on weight. I have a feeling being married is one of the factor.

Anyway I am learning to just ignore and concentrate in good eating habit no matter what people say. Also AS is on my side telling me I am OK and we just need to concentrate on being healthy. I am very happy to have such a wonderful hubby who understands me so well. But I think he has an ulterior motive as well. He doesn’t want me gaining weight and buying more clothes as I won’t fit into my current ones then 🙂

Most of the people especially from AS’s side has seen me only during the wedding. That time I was a bride so I was fully made up in the traditional attire. After the wedding, lot of his relatives added me on their Facebook. So that is the only way they have seen me in causal dresses.

Anyway, I have heard from lot of his relatives that I am photogenic. I am not sure I should take that as a compliment or not. I am just wondering because, normally I think photogenic means I look good on photo but at the back of mind I was wondering, does that mean I don’t look good in person.

Anyway I got that comment from many people so just sharing what’s on my mind here 🙂

Maghe Sankranti

According to Nepali calendar, it was Maghe Sankranti (1st of Magh) a few days ago.  Please click here to read more about this festival.

As I am married now, I was invited to AS’s grandparents house to celebrate the festival with my in-laws. AS missed the occasion but I was glad I was there as I got to meet all his relatives again.

As I mentioned in my post, this day we eat laddoos (sesame seeds candy ball), chaku (molasses), ghee (clarified butter), sweet potatoes, yam, khichari (mixture of rice and lentils), ginger and salt  and green leaf spinach. So a big feast was ready in the house when we got there.DSC04802DSC04800DSC04799

First his grandma put mustard oil on our head and blessed us then we all enjoyed the food. It was fun catching up with my new family.

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After a few days of Magh 1, AS’s Mama (Mum’s brother) also invited us for Maghe Sankranti. In Newari culture normally, daughter’s family invites SIL, daughter and their kids after the festival as nakhatya (festival invitation in newari) to celebrate the festival.

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I got to meet more family members in this function as well. As you must have guessed,there was a feast prepared which included laddoos, chaku (molasses), ghee (clarified butter), sweet potatoes, yam, khichari, green leaf spinach and many more  dishes. .

Ma fussy chu ( I am fussy)

Sometime words have two different meaning in different languages and I got caught into that recently.

The other day I was in a departmental store trying on few make-up items. The sales gal was doing her job well convincing me to buy something so in reply I said, “ Ma fussy chu ( I am fussy), so let me think about it.” But she understood completely different thing.

Fussy (pronounced Fashi ) means con in a gentle way in Nepali language. So she thought I was telling her that she tried to con me into buying something else. For a minute I didn’t understand her reply as it was out of context when she said, “Don’t worry I am telling you the truth” but after a while I understood that she thought I thought she was conning me into buying something different.

Now I think before I say something as it might have a different meaning here.

Pasni Party

While AS was here we were invited to a Pasni of one of our friends’ kid along with my parents. They live in Sydney near us but they came here to host the function like my brother. It was nice to go to this function and enjoy Nepali way of socialising. I met a few friends and relatives in this function because in Nepal, somehow everyone seems to be related. 🙂

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Wedding party experience

I am writing this as my own experience and have no intention to disrespect any caste.

As I have told you in my post here, Nepal is a country of four castes and thirty six sub castes which means all of these castes have their own tradition and rituals.

I am from Newar caste and in our culture wedding parties goes till late at night. It is common to see Newari party starting around 6 pm and finish at 12 midnight but other castes like chhetri or bhaunu may have wedding parties that start in the afternoon and finish a bit early like 6-7pm.

One of my friends (a chherti by caste)  had invited me for his sister’s wedding. He asked me if I needed a physical invitation card but I said it’s OK as I didn’t want to bother him. So I went to the party hall where he had told me in that day with one of my cousins.

When we reach the hall, the hall was almost empty so I thought either I mix up the day or the venue. But as I entered, I saw my friend. It was 7 pm at most but there were only a few people left there. Even the bride and groom had left as they had to travel few hours to reach their home.

He informed us that the party was almost over. I was a bit embarrassed because I didn’t know what to say. I had tried to contact him earlier to find out the details but he was unavailable as he was flying in from the US the same day. Even my mum had reminded me to check the time but I just assumed that it would be same as ours but I was so mistaken.

I was happy to meet my friends after a while but it was a bit embarrassing situation and for the first time in my life I reached a party when it was almost over.

Latest update

I am having a great time with my parents. I am spending lots of time with them talking and having a great time. We have been to many temples around Kathmandu which I will post details of later. I am really glad that I extended my 2 weeks holiday to spend with them as they are very happy to have me here and I am very happy to be here.

I still miss AS a lot but I will be seeing him soon. We talk on the phone or Skype everyday so I am happy to be in Kathmandu in my birth home.

Take care everyone till my next post.