Category Archives: Relationship

Our Story : LA Airport – Part 2

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous post here.

So where were we? Yes, AS has finally come to meet me at LA airport. Surprise surprise!!!

We greeted each other and it was hard to believe he was in front of me after so many years. We hadn’t seen each other for ages, more than 7 years. He still looked the same as I remembered him from the school days. He was still skinny like I remembered with his glasses and that big smile. His hair was a bit longer but still somewhat similar. He looked tired but seemed genuinely happy to see me.

He asked me if I had plan for rest of the time there. I told him that it would be annoying to go to touristy places with my big luggage so I was thinking to spend the time in the airport itself. Also I was scared to miss my flight due to traffic in LA if we ended up going somewhere far.

So we decided to sit around the food court and he helped me push the heavy trolley.

Once we sit down and started talking, it didn’t feel like we hadn’t met for so long. It was as if we had always been in touch. Lots had happened in those years so we had lot of topics to talk about. I was surprised how both of us were so comfortable with each other even after so many years. He told me what was happening with his life and I updated about my life. We talked about anything and everything.

We remembered our school days when we used to go out for lunches and go to our favourite café to have tea and chicken and vegetable pastries.

Our old photos (2)

We also played pool (pocket billiards or pool billiards) and I learnt all the rules and how to play it then.

Also all the hiking trips we went too.

Our old photos (1)

Ohoo, those carefree days! How I wish time had stopped then and we could be happy like then forever in life.

Our group of friends used to go to Hotel Soaltee every month or so. They had a gaming centre where you buy tokens and play games. All of us used to have paid satellite TV then so, once a month when we used to get the guide, it would come with tokens for the game centre. So all of us would collect them and go to this centre and have fun. They had games like bowling, mini basketball as well as usual gun and car games.

What we used to do was use those tokens and may be buy a few more and spend the afternoon there. It was so much fun as we would be more that 8+ people at a time. Also most of the games used to give winning tickets. Once you had a certain number of tickets, you could get some prize. I remember getting a Goofy from Disney using our tickets. As you know in these centres, you really need many tickets to get any reasonable prize. That Goofy was possible when all our tickets were combined but they let me keep the goofy at that time.

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I brought that Goofy with me to Australia when I first came to Australia as it was one of the things that reminded me of my friends from school. Now that Goofy is even more special as AS is in my life now.

He also told me he still had a gift we (me and one of my friends) gave him for his birthday. I was scratching my head trying to remember what exactly it was. I was glad when he explained to me and I remembered. It was a crystal swan we picked up from a gift shop because we didn’t knew what to buy a guy. So we decided on a show piece. But it was ages ago and I had completely forgotten about it. I know it is bad but I also don’t remember what they (him and other friends) gave me for my birthdays then and I didn’t dare to ask him.

The gift

Also we talked about how fun it was when we used to go to tuition together and go to temples afterwards. I think our tuition with only two other friends gave us more time to know each other. Those were the days when we used to visit each other’s home more often. Because the place  we went for extra tuition was closer to my place, it was normal for everyone to drop into my home. Now I feel blessed to have parents with an open mind. They never minded that I had friends (which included few female ones but many males) over all the time.

In Nepali society especially then, it is not usual for a girl to have many male friends. And bringing them home was big NO NO. I remembered my cousins who had never brought a male friend home. It was not allowed. But my parents were awesome to have trust and faith in me to let me do what I wanted. They never minded or complained about my friends. My girlfriends used to come for overnight stays while my male friends could come to visit anytime. Most of them had lunch or dinner at our place if they were there during meal times. Also my parents were really cool coming to talk to my friends and getting to know them better. I definitely have to remember this when we have our own kids one day.

Also we talked about the day he came with my other friends to airport, the day I left Kathmandu for Sydney. Going through the pictures, I find it really sweet that more than 30 people were there at the airport that day to bid me good bye which included my family and friends I do remember him at airport that day but nothing more than that.

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I was highly emotional during that time. My little cousins were crying while my parents had tears in their eyes. I stayed really strong during the whole time and cried only once I was inside the airport. I knew if had I started crying there, then everyone else would cry as well. Even though I was really young then, I guess I was a strong girl to leave everything behind to start afresh in a strange land with no help. But today I have to say that was one of the best decisions of my life as my life wouldn’t have been same without that major decision.

During our conversation, he asked me about my husband and kid. I must tell you all why he asked the question.

You know I told you before how I used to get annoyed with AS that he used to disappear for more than six months at a time. I wouldn’t know anything about him and then he would suddenly pop up with a few lines in an email.  So one of those days I sent him the following email.

Hello AS,

Hope you are doing great. Just dropped in to say hi.

It looks like, “ Out of sight, out of mind” applies to you perfectly.

I believe you must be married with kids by now.

If u are in hi5 or Facebook, add me so it will be easy to keep in touch.

Take care

M

To this he replied after a month (It was quick for his track record).

Hey,

Out of sight but not the mind 🙂 not for friends..

 I’d kind of dropped off the online world it seems.. Back again.

 I’m still in India.. Where u at and how u doing 🙂 lots of guys gone off and married.. NP, GB.. But not me yet 🙂 what about u? I’d think u must be 🙂

Mail me, take care.

AS

To that I replied after a week

hey hey hey

Finally u manage to reply….God you must be very busy? ;-P

So u r still working in India. What r u doing these days?

I know lot of our frds r married and got kids too. Remember NS, she got 2 kids now.

Anyway what about u ?how many u got now? How about a girlfriend if not wife…..

Why aren’t you in Facebook still? sign up…come on b more social man……

My life is rocking, got married and had one kid and life is going. Such is life.

Still in Sydney and having lots of fun

Don’t disappear, keep in touch

Take c are

M

Can you believe, he replied to above email in two days?

Hey M,

Not planning to disappear 🙂

good to hear u’r married and a kid too..

Can’t quite believe that when I think of the past and Kathmandu 😉

I’m still in India but going to US this weekend. I got a job there.. Will be there for about a year at least.. Then probably I too will get married…

Gotta find a nice girl for that though:-D
Keep mailing… Take care
AS

And he completely disappeared after this email until I sent him the email about my holiday plans to the US almost a year later. Remember the one he took 6 months to reply?

So when he asked about my husband and kid I was a bit confused initially Suddenly I remembered our email exchange. I told him that my husband and kid are fine in Sydney and I was on holiday alone. He told me he was expecting to meet my husband and my kid at the airport that day.

It was really hard for me to play along any longer so I started laughing out loud. He was surprised and I had to explain to him that I had already forgotten about the email until he asked me about my husband and kid. I was not married and definitely had no kid. I was pulling his leg in the email because I was annoyed with him for disappearing for so long.

I don’t know if he was glad or not but he told me he had believed me 100% when I told him I was married with a kid. Lots of our friends were married by then and some even had kids so it was not unusual.

After that we talked about normal topics. One of the things I remember telling him was to open a Facebook account so we could keep in touch easily. He said he will do that and I knew it would be another year before I see his email or account.

After the first few hours we decided to have lunch. There was not much choice so we went for burger and chips with drinks. He remembered I was vegetarian during our school days and was surprised that I had started eating meat again. I told him that I ate meat from the time I came to Australia.

Actually my parents made me eat meat before I left Nepal. When I applied for my visa to Australia, they were really worried about me as I was a teenager and there was no one in Sydney who would look after me. It was hard for them to send me so far away. Then to top of all that one of my cousins who used to live in Australia told them that life was very hard for vegetarians in Australia so I might have a tough time adjusting. So they told me if I don’t start eating meat I wouldn’t be allowed to go. I really wanted to come to Australia for a fresh start so I gave in.

I still remember the first time I ate meat. Tears were coming down from my eyes when my mom served me minced chicken with lots of mushrooms. As it had been years since I hadn’t had any meat, I could taste the meat even thought it was hidden within mushroom.

I don’t regret my decision right now as I love meat. Also I know my parents did all that because they loved me and they wanted to make sure I would be OK in Australia.

Back to LA airport: I and AS were catching up with my experience in US. I met a few common friends from school so I was sharing my experience with him. It was so nice to meet these friends after so long as well. If I think about it right now, I really don’t know what else we talked about but more than 4 hours passed just like that at one table in the food court. By that time we were hungry again and we decided to have another round of food. This time it was Mexican tacos and burritos. I remember complaining to AS that I didn’t like Mexican food in US. I know, Mexico is next door so those Mexican foods must be very authentic. But I love Mexican food in Sydney and it was so different from what they sell here. It’s the same like how we didn’t enjoy pizza in Italy, how ironic.

I couldn’t believe how fast time flew and it was time for me to check in for my flight to Sydney. He helped me again with my luggage and we went to the check in counter to check in my luggage.

I had one more hour before I had to go inside to clear immigration and board the plane. I was having such a nice time with AS at that point that I was sorry I was leaving.

The last hour passed pretty quickly and it was time for me to board the plane. I almost forgot but at last minute we took a few pictures together. It was a good time and I am glad we caught that on camera forever. I told him that I would email the photos once I reached Sydney.

Us (1) Us (2) Us (3)

I made him promise to keep in touch with me and not to disappear for six months like before. He swore that it won’t happen again and bid me good bye with the same smile on his face, the one I remembered him from our school days.

With sadness, I went inside the immigration area and turned around to look at him one last time thinking I may not see him ever in my life again.

The post is getting long so I will write more in next post. Hope you will come back and read more  :)

Go to Part 3

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*Arranged marriage: My perspective *Ta, Timi, Tapai and Hajoor *Our Story : The Beginning – Part 1

Our Story : The Beginning – Part 1

Life has a funny way of surprising us, doesn’t it? You go through your days, not paying much attention to the world around you. Then, out of the blue, you meet someone who becomes your everything, someone you can’t imagine your life without. People often say, “The moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were the one.” I’m sure that’s how most love stories begin. But for me and AS, our story was a bit different.

Let me take you back to the beginning.

I first met AS in high school. To be honest, I can’t recall the exact moment we first saw or spoke to each other. With 52 students in our class, it took me a while to remember everyone’s name. Over time, I found myself spending more time with a certain group of friends, and AS was part of that circle. We got to know each other gradually, always in the company of others.

Our school organised hikes every few months, and our group would often join in. We also frequented the library, restaurants, and even went to tuition together, spending a lot of time in each other’s company. Though we rarely spent time alone, I do remember walking back from the library with him a few times. We visited each other’s homes occasionally with other friends. I distinctly remember having lunch at his place once, cooked by his mum. At my place, he still teases me about the undercooked instant noodles I served him for lunch.

Back then, I was a tomboy who enjoyed the company of boys more than girls. I had only four female friends but many male ones. I liked AS as a friend, but it never crossed my mind that he could be more than that.

There were a few reasons why. AS was a nice guy who studied hard and did well in class. He was always there when I needed help, and I liked his smile. But he was soft-spoken and shy, the opposite of my loud and extroverted self. Yet, I could never forget his smile. Years after high school, whenever someone mentioned him, it was his smile that came to mind.

After high school, we went our separate ways. I moved to Australia for further studies, and AS went to India for engineering. We emailed each other maybe twice a year, and it was usually me initiating the contact. He would take months to reply, often popping up out of nowhere with a brief email, then disappearing again. His behaviour annoyed me, but I accepted it.

Whenever I visited Nepal from Australia, I’d email my friends to see if anyone would be around. Somehow, AS and I always missed each other. He’d either just left or was arriving shortly after my departure. We didn’t meet for a long time.

Remember Hi5, the social network before Facebook? I had an account and invited all my friends, including AS. He joined but never updated his profile, making it rather useless.

We continued our lives 1000 miles apart, mostly unaware of what the other was up to. AS occasionally checked my Hi5 account, as he later admitted.

After graduation, I started traveling. One trip took me to the USA. I planned to meet as many friends as possible, including AS, who was in LA. I emailed everyone months in advance  and many friends emailed me back and I start making my plans according to that., but AS, predictably, didn’t respond. I was really annoyed as I considered him a good friend; it would have been good to catch up with him.

The day before my flight, I was checking my email and to my surprise, I saw one from him. Seriously, after more than 5 months, he was replying to me.

His email was something like this

“Hello,

Looks like I caught you right on time,

I am in LA these days and here is my number XXXXXXX. Please call me when you get here.

Have a safe flight.

AS”

I was really annoyed with the email as I could imagine his smiley face typing those words. Anyway I saved his number on my phone and waited for my holiday to start.

It was a long flight to the US but I was really excited as it was my first big trip. I had a friend picking me up in LA and I was staying with him and his aunt. He and his aunt had made many plans for me so when I landed in the US, I didn’t call AS straight away. There were so many things to do and see that the time flew so two days before I was to leave LA I called him to check if he had anytime to meet me before I flew out. We couldn’t work out a time that suited both of us so I travelled around Pennsylvania, Niagara Falls, Toronto, New York, and Florida.

DC

DC

Niagara Falls

Niagara Falls

Disney world

Disney world

NYC Bull

NYC Bull

NYPD

NYPD

I didn’t have any hope of meeting AS because on my way back to Australia, I had only 12 hours in LA which I was planning to spend in the airport. I didn’t want to complicate things by by going out.

Around the end of my holiday, AS called me up and asked my schedule in LA on my way back. I told him my plan. I was a bit annoyed with him that he hadn’t met me. I told him if he really has time, he can come to the airport as I won’t be able to travel to where he is. I was half expecting him to say he was busy but he said he would come. I was glad to have some company during my stopover.

After having an awesome time with my friends and family, finally I landed in LA. While walking out from the terminal, I was thinking that I didn’t have a mobile phone so if AS didn’t show up (which was quite possible) as we had planned I would be alone for more than 12 hours in the airport. I had my laptop with me so I planned to surf the internet to kill time. I came out and went to collect my baggage. I saw my bags coming out and was about to take the bags from the carousel and those bags were super heavy. I had done so much shopping that I was having a hard time lifting my suitcase. Then there he was. YES, AS actually made it to the airport to meet me. And he was there helping me lift my bags onto a trolley.

The post is getting long so I will write more in next post. Hope you will come back and read more  🙂

Go to Part 2

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*Arranged marriage: My perspective *Ta, Timi, Tapai and Hajoor *Making a cup of tea…

From independent, confident strong women to dependent, needy wife

I am not sure when I crossed the bridge but I recently realised that I have turned from a strong, confident, independent woman into a very dependent, needy wife.

Before I got married, I used to do everything on my own. Most importantly I made my own decisions and went everywhere on my own. I travelled to the US on my own and I was just glad that I had so many friends there. I always went shopping on my own and made decisions on my own. I never felt the need for anyone to be there constantly for me and definitely not to make any decisions for me.

But these days, for even small decisions I need to ask AS for his opinion. Is it really normal or do I really need to pick up my act?

I call AS and ask things like,

“Do you want me to buy a red towel or a maroon one?”

“I really like this dress but should I buy it?”

“I am in the supermarket and I saw this new laundry powder, shall I buy it or buy our regular powder?”

“Do you want to eat lamb or chicken for dinner tonight?”

Some days I even ask him what should I eat for lunch as I can’t make a decision and I am already in front of food court or outside some restaurant.

Seriously, is this normal once you are married or I am becoming overly dependent on him?

It is not only me who has noticed this changed. When AS left from Kathmandu 2 weeks before me, I was on my own. In those 14 days I mentioned that I missed him to everyone. Really, I was telling my cousins and friends so often that they told me the same thing, I have become very dependent. I have really begun to rely on him in so many things that I can’t live even a week away from him.

For the last few years I have told myself that all these changes are because of love. I love him so much that I can’t imagine my life without him. And I thought it was normal to change and feel the way I do but today I feel like asking all of you.

Is this love or dependency?

Do you think I am on the right path?

Do I need to change and start becoming independent again?

Anyone there feels the same as way I do?

P.S: AS consults with me for all his decisions as well.

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*Arranged marriage: My perspective *Ta, Timi, Tapai and Hajoor *With love, to my dear husband

Valentine’s day 2013

Like every year, Valentine’s Day, the day for love, has arrived this year as well. I am sure you know I am crazy about love from my previous posts here and here.

If you don’t know, I am telling you that I am a hopelessly romantic person and my husband knows that. It is not that I want him to spend lots of money and spoil me rotten on this day but at the same time I don’t want not to celebrate this day like many of my friends who think it is too commercialised to care about. I know Hallmark and florists are making lots of money on this day by selling emotions but I really don’t need roses, romantic cards or heart shaped chocolate to feel spoilt.  Simple gestures like breakfast or home-made dinner will make me super happy for sure. I will even be happy with just a big hug and cuddle.

I am really happy to have a hubby who is so caring and loving in my life. He always makes me feel very special and I am so incredibly blessed to have him as my partner and my best friend. He has endured so much, including leaving everything that he has known his entire life behind and moving to Australia just for me and that means more to me than I can express in words. I treasure the good as well as the difficult moments we have shared together.

This year, as I was still very unsettled from my recent holiday and with a mid-week Valentine’s Day we didn’t really plan what we were going to do. We just thought it will be nice to have a dinner out and that was it.

So like every other day, on 14 Feb 2013, my alarm woke me up at 6:00 am. Lazily I work up and went to the bathroom. I was half asleep when I came back to the room and I saw there was something on my bedside table. When I went closer, I realised that it was a bunch of red roses! I turned around and he was lying there with a big smile, the smile that I fell in love with.

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I kind of knew I would be getting some red roses that day. Normally he comes home with it in the evening. I have always told him not to spend too much on Valentine’s Day roses. I know that it is a big waste of money as they are super expensive that day.

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Anyway, back to Valentine’s Day morning, I was so happy seeing the flowers that I was lost for words. All I could do was hug him tight. I don’t know how he smuggled flowers to our place the day before but he did a damn good job. Even though I didn’t expect this it was such a great feeling to be loved. To top it off, he told me that we were going for a massage after dinner and that was all that I had wished for.

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I really wished it had been a day off but I needed to get out of bed to go to work. As we were going straight from work to dinner, I wore a red dress with matching red shoes.

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Work hours felt long but finally it was time for me to meet my baby again. We met and went for dinner. We chose a low key place over big fancy ones as most of these places would be too crowded. The Thai restaurant we went to was not very busy so we were served quickly. We had Satay Chicken for entrée followed by some curries and special fried rice for main. We skipped desert as we were going for a massage and didn’t want to be too full.

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Also I had bought some really cute cupcakes for my hubby (he didn’t know I had them in the car).

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The massage place was a few blocks walk away from the restaurant so we strolled hand in hand until we reached the place. We had been there before and AS knew I had loved it. I just love the vibe of this place because even as you walk in, you can feel very relaxed because of the ambiance and of the sweet aromas. We waited for a few minutes and it was our time to relax under competent hands.

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We always go for Aromatherapy Thai massage and we went for the same this time as well. As the lady massaged each part of my body; my stress reduced and my body was relaxing. I just loved the feeling you have when you get a good massage. An hour passed so quickly and we were done. But my body was thankful for every minute of the awesome massage.

We drove home and when we got to our apartment, I gave AS his Valentine’s gift; lots of mini cupcakes which were beautifully decorated with a cupid, hearts, and romantic words. He was really pleased with his cakes and enjoyed his desert. I am really happy that he loved it as it tasted so fresh and soft.

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And this is how I spent my Valentine’s day this year. Do share how yours was?

P.S I think I am more romantic than I care to admit as I just realised today that I have a special category called Valentine’s day in my blog. Seriously, who does that!

My nephew’s Pasni Party

After the Pasni Puja in the morning everyone was tired including the little one but there was no time to rest as we had a reception organised for 300+ people that evening to celebrate the Pasni ceremony. Pasni ceremonies have become very lavish these days, with large parties of not just close relatives, but also colleagues and friends being invited for the event. As my nephew was the first grand kid for my parents and for my SIL’s parents, they wanted to make sure everyone necessary was invited.

After lunch my MIL, FIL and AS left for home to get some rest and also to get ready for the evening. So as soon as I finished eating, I rushed to my parents’ house to prepare for the evening. There was not much to do as these days you just need to order catering in the party venue and they look after everything for you.

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So I just made sure that mum was ok with what to wear for the evening and she didn’t need any help. My SIL had 2 of her cousins helping her to get ready. We had already decided that my nephew was going to change into a red velvet pasni dress with blue and gold embroidery that I had bought for him.

PARTY PASNI (2)

So it was my turn to be ready and be there before guest arrived. I first went and did my hair and make-up. I was so excited to wear the special sari I had designed and ordered. It took me more than 2 hours to finally be party ready. When I was done AS picked me up to go to the party venue.

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When we arrived at the venue, most of our close relatives were there already and a photo session was going on with my nephew.

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He was looking really cute and adorable in the red velvet special pasni dress.We made sure we got heaps of family photos as well as photo of the little man.

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Proud Grandparents

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Slowly guests started to come one by one. There were lots of relatives from my mum and dad’s sides so I spent lots of time mingling and making sure that everyone was looked after properly.

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Also AS’s side of the family including his aunts, uncles and cousins were invited. Once they arrived at the party I was even busier as I had to talk to everyone and make sure they were eating and drinking properly.

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By this time, the dance floor was slowly getting busy with my uncles, aunts and cousins dancing. I wanted to join them as well but it was a bit hard for me initially as I didn’t know what my in-laws would think. For me party has always been more about dancing and fun more than food but being a new DIL and having all AS’s close relatives at the party, I didn’t want to  go and jump on the dance floor.

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But then one of AS’s aunt showed her desire to join the dance floor and asked me if we shouldn’t enjoy ourselves too. That was the only excuse I needed so I asked all AS’s relative to join us on the dance floor. And yes, that included my MIL as well. I am so glad my MIL took it well and did show her few moves . It was really fun and nice of everyone to just go with the flow attitude. Also AS and his cousins joined and we had a great time. I had to go away from dance floor from time to time to meet relatives who had recently arrived but I was really enjoying everything. I also had few of my good friend joining us for the celebration.

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The evening went quickly and slowly guest started to leave in ones and twos. By the end of the evening only close relatives were left so we all had our meal as well. We made sure everything was OK and then left for home.

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Proud Grand ma

It was really great to be a part of the celebration and it was nice to meet everyone during the celebration.  One of the nicest memories I had from Nepal this trip.

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Happy Fufu

And my nephew was an angel whole day. He didn’t cry and was smiling at everyone. He was held by more than 200+ hands that evening but he was just smiling and playing with everyone that everyone was so impressed to see such a playful happy baby.

He is growing up so fast and every time I see him, there are some nice changes with him. These days he has learnt how to move his fingers in the “come here” sign so it is so cute to watch him do that. Sometimes he is so amazed that he can do that, he keeps on looking at his own hands. Also he is falling in love with himself. Every time he is in front of the mirror, all he does is smile,