Category Archives: Relationship

Celebrating AS birthday in Nepal

Posted on January 21, 2013 | 8 comments

I always wanted to celebrate AS’s birthday in a special way but last few years we were never in Sydney to have a lavish birthday party for him. AS’s birthday falls at the end of December and we always have a holiday around that time and so we are away from Sydney. I always feel guilty that I celebrate my birthday with a bunch of friends invited while his last two birthdays were celebrated by just the two of us if we don’t count the random strangers in the restaurant.

But this year he had a very special birthday and I am really happy about it. First of all we were in Nepal during his birthday which made it extra special.

On 28 December, me and AS went to a restaurant called Transit and celebrated his birthday. It was a special dinner for both of us and we indulge in snacks and pizzas. They had a live band playing some nice classic English songs so we had a great time.

transit birthday (2)

As the owner of the restaurant was someone I knew, I arranged a surprised cake for him and he was really happy. It was just a piece of his favourite double chocolate cake.  Also he got complimentary drinks on the house. And that was just a start of his birthday celebrations.

Celebrating AS's Birthday

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As I have mentioned many times before, Nepali calendar is different than English calendar. In Nepal, birthdays are not celebrated by date but by teethi (according to position of moon and planets). So he had his teethi birthday again after a week of his birthday as per the English calendar. That day, we celebrated his birthday in the traditional manner.

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His mum prepared puja and sagun for the birthday. In the morning, he sat down and his mum performed the janmadin (birthday) puja. First gods including Lord Ganesh were worshipped. Then, tika was put on AS’s forehead as blessing. It was followed by sagun (egg, bara, chicken, fish) and gifts from his family. It had been more than a decade since AS got to celebrate his birthday according to Nepali tradition so it was a happy moment for all of us.

AS birthday (2)AS birthday (3)

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That evening, we had ordered a cake. So with his brothers and parents we cut the cake. It was his favourite rich chocolate and we all loved it too 🙂

Then, we went to a restaurant, 8 degrees with his family to enjoy the rest of the evening. The place was not too busy so we enjoyed our time there. The food was flavoursome. It was a great day for AS as he was spoiled with gifts and wishes the whole day.

treat for AS family (1)-tile

treat for AS family (5)

Then the next day, we went out again to celebrate his birthday and this time with my family. We took my parents, my brother, SIL and little nephew for lunch to celebrate in a Newari restaurant called Falcha. The food was hot and spicy there but all of us were happy to enjoy each other’s company. My nephew enjoyed his outing as well. We had a good time and my parents and my brother also had a gift for him.

treat for my family (1)-tile treat for my family (2)

Overall I am super happy since AS got to have a great birthday in Nepal. I also spoiled him with many gifts and I feel good that he enjoyed his time here in Nepal with our families.

I wish him all the best for rest of his life. Love you dear.

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Posted in Family, Nepal, Nepal 2012 / 2013

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Update from Nepal Part 3

Posted on January 20, 2013 | 10 comments

Skinny and photogenic

90% of the people I meet in Nepal told me that I am too skinny and I need to put on some weight. I am not underweight so I am happy with it and as you all know I try very hard with exercise and healthy food to maintain my figure but most people in Nepal have their own ideas about my weight.

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In the beginning I used to get annoyed about it but now I am so used to it that I ignored all these comments with a smile :). Also if you look around Kathmandu, most gals are either similar weight like mine or even skinnier than me so I have no idea why they think I need to put on weight. I have a feeling being married is one of the factor.

Anyway I am learning to just ignore and concentrate in good eating habit no matter what people say. Also AS is on my side telling me I am OK and we just need to concentrate on being healthy. I am very happy to have such a wonderful hubby who understands me so well. But I think he has an ulterior motive as well. He doesn’t want me gaining weight and buying more clothes as I won’t fit into my current ones then 🙂

Most of the people especially from AS’s side has seen me only during the wedding. That time I was a bride so I was fully made up in the traditional attire. After the wedding, lot of his relatives added me on their Facebook. So that is the only way they have seen me in causal dresses.

Anyway, I have heard from lot of his relatives that I am photogenic. I am not sure I should take that as a compliment or not. I am just wondering because, normally I think photogenic means I look good on photo but at the back of mind I was wondering, does that mean I don’t look good in person.

Anyway I got that comment from many people so just sharing what’s on my mind here 🙂

Maghe Sankranti

According to Nepali calendar, it was Maghe Sankranti (1st of Magh) a few days ago.  Please click here to read more about this festival.

As I am married now, I was invited to AS’s grandparents house to celebrate the festival with my in-laws. AS missed the occasion but I was glad I was there as I got to meet all his relatives again.

As I mentioned in my post, this day we eat laddoos (sesame seeds candy ball), chaku (molasses), ghee (clarified butter), sweet potatoes, yam, khichari (mixture of rice and lentils), ginger and salt  and green leaf spinach. So a big feast was ready in the house when we got there.DSC04802DSC04800DSC04799

First his grandma put mustard oil on our head and blessed us then we all enjoyed the food. It was fun catching up with my new family.

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After a few days of Magh 1, AS’s Mama (Mum’s brother) also invited us for Maghe Sankranti. In Newari culture normally, daughter’s family invites SIL, daughter and their kids after the festival as nakhatya (festival invitation in newari) to celebrate the festival.

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I got to meet more family members in this function as well. As you must have guessed,there was a feast prepared which included laddoos, chaku (molasses), ghee (clarified butter), sweet potatoes, yam, khichari, green leaf spinach and many more  dishes. .

Ma fussy chu ( I am fussy)

Sometime words have two different meaning in different languages and I got caught into that recently.

The other day I was in a departmental store trying on few make-up items. The sales gal was doing her job well convincing me to buy something so in reply I said, “ Ma fussy chu ( I am fussy), so let me think about it.” But she understood completely different thing.

Fussy (pronounced Fashi ) means con in a gentle way in Nepali language. So she thought I was telling her that she tried to con me into buying something else. For a minute I didn’t understand her reply as it was out of context when she said, “Don’t worry I am telling you the truth” but after a while I understood that she thought I thought she was conning me into buying something different.

Now I think before I say something as it might have a different meaning here.

Pasni Party

While AS was here we were invited to a Pasni of one of our friends’ kid along with my parents. They live in Sydney near us but they came here to host the function like my brother. It was nice to go to this function and enjoy Nepali way of socialising. I met a few friends and relatives in this function because in Nepal, somehow everyone seems to be related. 🙂

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Wedding party experience

I am writing this as my own experience and have no intention to disrespect any caste.

As I have told you in my post here, Nepal is a country of four castes and thirty six sub castes which means all of these castes have their own tradition and rituals.

I am from Newar caste and in our culture wedding parties goes till late at night. It is common to see Newari party starting around 6 pm and finish at 12 midnight but other castes like chhetri or bhaunu may have wedding parties that start in the afternoon and finish a bit early like 6-7pm.

One of my friends (a chherti by caste)  had invited me for his sister’s wedding. He asked me if I needed a physical invitation card but I said it’s OK as I didn’t want to bother him. So I went to the party hall where he had told me in that day with one of my cousins.

When we reach the hall, the hall was almost empty so I thought either I mix up the day or the venue. But as I entered, I saw my friend. It was 7 pm at most but there were only a few people left there. Even the bride and groom had left as they had to travel few hours to reach their home.

He informed us that the party was almost over. I was a bit embarrassed because I didn’t know what to say. I had tried to contact him earlier to find out the details but he was unavailable as he was flying in from the US the same day. Even my mum had reminded me to check the time but I just assumed that it would be same as ours but I was so mistaken.

I was happy to meet my friends after a while but it was a bit embarrassing situation and for the first time in my life I reached a party when it was almost over.

Latest update

I am having a great time with my parents. I am spending lots of time with them talking and having a great time. We have been to many temples around Kathmandu which I will post details of later. I am really glad that I extended my 2 weeks holiday to spend with them as they are very happy to have me here and I am very happy to be here.

I still miss AS a lot but I will be seeing him soon. We talk on the phone or Skype everyday so I am happy to be in Kathmandu in my birth home.

Take care everyone till my next post.

10 Comments

Posted in Family, Kathmandu, Nepal, Nepal 2012 / 2013, Nepali Culture, Nepali Festivals, Nepali food, Newari Culture, Newari Food

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Makka Ku

Posted on January 17, 2013 | 14 comments

We are still celebrating our wedding after more than 1 and half years. I am still a new bride wherever I go :). While I was living at my new home a few weeks ago, my mum following tradition and sent a Makka Ku (pronounced ‘mock-ka ku’).

Makka ku is a newar tradition in which during the first winter after the wedding, the bride’s family sends some items which are necessary for winter to the groom’s home. Makka means olden style charcoal heater but these days instead of makka, electric heater is sent to keep the newlywed couple warm during the winter, along with a full set of warm clothes for the bride as well as fruits, rotis, blanket, electric heater etc.

Makka ku (1)

As we were in Sydney during our first winter, this winter was perfect time for my parents to follow the rituals for the Makka Ku.

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My aunt, my cousin along with my brother came to my new home with sweets and roti like anarsa, fini, laakhamari, ladoo, saun papdi, fruits: like oranges, mandarin, bananas, sugarcane, apples, masala: like cashew, almond and chocolates along with snow peas, yogurt, peanuts, sari, pashmina shawl, shoes, bag, electric heater and a blanket.

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It was a great day for me as I was so happy to celebrate our wedding again as this was one of the best decisions of my life and I am very happy to see both the family very happy with our union.

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It was a good time for both families to meet and chat. My family came and sat down with my MIL, AS and BIL and had a good conversation. They also checked out our wedding album which my MIL had made for the house.

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I had baked blueberry muffin that morning for tea so we started with tea and muffins and it was followed by Nepali feast for my aunt, cousin and brother. My MIL cooked the feast and I was the helper all morning in the kitchen preparing for the day.

Makka ku (8) Makka ku (9)

After lunch my family left and Makku Ku was concluded. As I told you before, in Nepalese wedding the bride is always the winner and it was true for this function as well as I got a full set of new outfit :).

For details and photos on our wedding functions please click the following links.

14 Comments

Posted in Nepal, Nepal 2012 / 2013, Nepali Culture, Newari Culture, Our Wedding, Wedding

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Etiquette for announcing engagement

Posted on November 18, 2012 | 10 comments

I want to share a story from my workplace today. Let’s call my colleagues S (male), B (Female) and K (female).

We (me, B and K) have been bugging S regarding his wedding for a long time now. He has been with his girlfriend for over 5 years now and he is in no rush to propose.

Our argument was that if a woman wants to get married then she deserves to be. I really think if both of the people in a relationship are happy living together without getting married that is perfectly fine but if one of the people in the relationship wants to get married then the other should be able to give in.

The wedding doesn’t need to be big, just go to the registry and register but at least respect the wish of the other person in the relationship so that they will stay happy.

Anyway S has been living with his girlfriend for a while and they have even bought a house together. So we always asked him what the problem is, why he isn’t married to her yet. I think he wanted to stay away from all the planning and the wedding headache as long as possible.

Anyway, the good news is that he came back to work after a 2 weeks holiday and told me and B that he proposed and they are getting married next year. It was great news for us as well and we finally think we managed to get it into his head. K was off that day so she didn’t get the news.

Today when K was back at work, I told her excitedly that S is engaged now and they are getting married. I was sure she would like to know about it.

But the scenario changed quickly when B had this shocked expression on her face while I was happily telling K about the engagement. Ohoo I was given this look that I might have murdered someone. I didn’t realise what I had done wrong.

So when the initial shock and surprised expression was over, B told me that it is not right for me to tell K or anyone about S’s engagement. I should let him announce it.

I felt really bad about it as I never knew this rule regarding engagement announcement before. So I went back to S and told him what happen. He being a guy didn’t care at all (Thank god!). He said it doesn’t really matter to him how people find out. I think he is just glad that the difficult part is over and done with.

I always try to follow the etiquette everywhere I go as I know in Nepal we have different etiquettes while in Australia I need to follow different ones. Even when I travel, I try to Google and learn basic etiquette of the place. This must be one of those times when I  had no idea what I did wrong,

I talked to other colleagues at work about it and some think that B is right about the matter while some are either ignorant like me or don’t think it is a big deal. Anyway, I do understand why B wanted S to announce it.

It is funny how things works in the west compare to east.

I remember when me and AS got engaged, we told our parents and they told everyone else.  We called a few close friends to convey the news but for the rest of my friends, after the engagement ceremony, I uploaded mine and AS’s pic on Facebook and captioned it, “ENGAGED”. Also I changed my relationship status from WHATEVER to ENGAGED.  🙂

After that I remember that my Facebook flooded with thousands of likes and comments. Most friends who we went to school with me were shocked about it. As I told you before in many posts, here and here, I and AS are so different  that it was surprising to some people to even think that we would get married one day.

I was the chatty one who had many friends and used to speak with everyone. I never minded attention I get while AS was the quite one who had select friends and didn’t want to have any attention on him. So imagine North Pole and South Pole coming together.  As I explained already before about our relationship here, we were friends first and it took a while for AS to propose to me.

After the engagement me and AS were trying to convince our close friends that we were not a couple from school days; we were just friends but they thought we had lied to them all these years.

I didn’t bother to correct other friends from school who wrote comments like

 “Chhupa Rustam, how did I not see it?”

“I knew it something was on with you guys” and so on.

It was really funny that suddenly when our relationship was out in open, everyone was telling me that they knew AS liked me from the start. I must be the silly one who never saw that before. Anyway I am glad things happened the way they did. I am just happy with my loving husband and still feel butterfly in my stomach every time, I recall the day he proposed :).

So what is the etiquette in your culture regarding engagement announcement?

10 Comments

Posted in Personal, Relationship

I didn’t get married because I am weak

Posted on November 2, 2012 | 25 comments

A while back when I was talking to one of my friends, she told me that people get married because they are weak. She said women who are weak and need someone to look after them get married and if you are not weak, there is no need for you to get married.

I have known this friend for over a decade and I have never seen her in a relationship and I realised why that day. But I disagree with her because I am not a weak woman. I didn’t get married because I need help; I am quite capable of looking after myself. I was living life my way for a long time. I got married because I fell in love with this amazing person, the one who understands me and loves me for who I am.

I am not an expert on love or marriage and I am not going to say he is my soul mate blah blah blah but I love him from my heart and that is all that matters to me right now. When we decided to get married, it seemed like the right thing to do as we were living in two different continents before that. But even if he had already been in Australia and we had to decide on marriage, I would not have decided against it.

I really believe that I and my husband are a perfect couple. We are like any other couple who have disagreement, who loves, who discuss, who argues but at the end makes up. We are like opposite poles as individuals but together are just perfect. We respect each other and enjoy each other’s company. He is not just my husband but my best friend first.

I would never be this happy if I was thinking like my friends and never gave relationships a chance to prove that it is worth our effort.

And my husband proved to me that believing in him and our relation was the right thing again when he took me for a dinner and movie date for my birthday.

Another birthday celebration

First, he bought me this awesome sapphire necklace that goes perfectly with my sapphire ring he bought last year. I think he is getting better at spoiling me as the years go by :). I am so happy that he does lots of thing to make me happy.

Then we had a lovely dinner. We went to the Vietnamese restaurant near our place . We started with Special Entree Plater which had Spring rolls, Fresh spring rolls, Pork patties skewer, Chicken skewer and fish cake. Forgot to take the photos as we were too hungry :).

It was followed by main. I had Cari Ga – Chicken Curry with rice and my hubby tried Pho noodle soup with chicken. The food was nice and filling. By that time both of us were so stuffed that we decided not to order dessert.

It was followed by a movie that I had been meaning to watch for a while, Taken 2.

Taken 2 movie review

Taken 2 was an ok movie only. Definitely it was nothing like the first one where you had no expectations and it made a surprise $225 million worldwide. The first one was really great as it had some griping elements.

In Taken 2, Liam Neeson looked good despite his age and the movie was good but I think we always expect so much from the sequel that it is easy to get disappointed. I was not bored during the movie but most of it was predictable. I was a bit disappointed as I had high hopes for this movie.

Going back to my original topic, I’ll admit it. I am very romantic at heart and I like the flowers, the chocolates, the walks on the beach, the sweeping off your feet gestures but that doesn’t make me weak. I am a strong woman who knows what she wants and is lucky enough to have a partner who respects me and understands me enough to have a relationship that makes both of us happy. Where I am weak, he has strengths and the opposite is true of my strengths where he is not. We balance each other nicely. I don’t wish to dominate my partner, nor do I want to be dominated.

What is your opinion? Do you agree with my friend or me? 

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Posted in Celebrations, Movie Review, Relationship

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