Category Archives: Relationship

Can you wear your wedding dress again?

Posted on January 22, 2012 | 17 comments

When people start planning for a wedding, most of them have a budget and plan on how much they are going to spend on their big day. Some may have a small wedding with only close friends and family while others will have a big lavish fairy tale wedding. Normally, for white weddings, brides spend lots of money on their dress. That is one of the biggest expenses on the wedding budget. But most of the time this dress is worn only once, on the big day and then kept in the closest as a souvenir. I quite like the idea of hiring these dresses as well but then most of the women are too emotional to part from their wedding dress so they normally buy them. Let me not go to the part about what may happen to the dress if ones marriage breaks or one is angry with the soon to be ex husband later in the life.

With Nepali weddings we wear many outfits. I had 10 different outfits for different days during my wedding, which lasted 10 days. Most of those outfits I can wear again on many other occasions like parties and festivals. I have already worn some of them for my friend’s wedding. There is a Dupata sari which you reuse again when there is a celebration called ‘Janku’ or ‘Bhat Khuaune’ (rice feeding ceremony) of your kids. All of my wedding outfit will be reused again and again as I had spent good money for them and I love them as well.

But with a white wedding dress most of the time reusing it is not possible because normally they are long and in off white or white colour with long train. You really can’t wear that to anyone else’s wedding and alternation is the only option.

One of my colleagues who got married more than a year ago came up with a brilliant idea with her friends to reuse their wedding dress (they all had white wedding). There are 10 girls altogether one day who were talking about what they are going to do with their wedding dress. Their dresses stared from $1000 to $6000 which was worn only once and was then collecting dust in their closets. So one of them came up with the idea to organise a ‘Wedding dress Night Out’. So last night they went out in their respective wedding dress to a French restaurant. They hired a photographer as well and got some very nice single and group shots.

My colleague told me that she had a great time and all the other people in the restaurant were complimenting them on their dress. I was so excited to hear about the whole idea and seeing their photos was even more amazing. Some of the girls had this princess style gown so they looked like a princess on their night out. I really admire their determination to reuse their dress and getting a great night out with friends in the process.

Where is your wedding dress? Have you worn your wedding dress after your wedding? Please share if you have similar stories.

17 Comments

Posted in Fashion, Wedding

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Babies are born!!!

Posted on January 4, 2012 | 20 comments

If you remember a while ago I wrote a post (I see babies everywhere) that two of my good friends were pregnant. I am happy to announce that both of them gave birth to beautiful babies.

SK had her baby girl before Christmas. The baby was quite big, 4.9 kg. She looked so adorable in her hospital gown. She looked like she was already a few months old but she was only five days old when I went to meet SK. I am in so much in love with her already. She has lots of hair, small eyes and long fingers and toes. While we were in the hospital she didn’t cry at all. She just looked at us and made funny noises moving her arms and legs. I can’t wait to see her in her little pink dress I bought for her. Girls are so easy to buy for as there are millions of choices. They named her SS and here are some beautiful photos of her.

 

Little SS

When I was talking to SK about the birth I was a bit scared to hear what she had to go through.

As the baby was overdue, they induced her to start the labour. They gave her a drip which she said was painful. As she started to have pain, little SS’s heart rate became really high so they decided to do caesarean. It was a last-minute decision but very good one as the baby was big and natural birth was near impossible. Anyway after the birth SK was still in pain. It was a major surgery and it will take her a few weeks to recover. I am so glad she has her parents, brother and sister-in-law there along with her husband who look after her and little SS.

RD had a baby boy last week and they named him AD. He looks so cute and weighs 4.28 kg. RD was also overdue so they had to induce her as well. She spent 2 days in hospital before she had the baby.  She was complaining how she had to be in labour for 7 hours before they decided to have a caesarean.  Lucky for her, her husband and her mum were there every minute to look after her. Here are some beautiful photos of adorable AD.

Little AD

Both moms are super happy and now back home with their buds. They both said they would not have it any other way. Guess the joy of motherhood is beyond comparison.

For me I have two more babies in my life who will call me aunty.  It is such a joy to be around kids and looking at them made me love them more.

 I am sure there will be more posts around these babies in the future.

20 Comments

Posted in Friends

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Should you tell your partner about your past?

Posted on December 16, 2011 | 12 comments

I was watching the movie called “What’s Your Number” starting Anna Faris. It‘s a movie about a woman who looks back at her past relationships in her life. It is just your standard chick-flick. At one point she wanted to lie about her past even to her close friends as she realised that she had too many relationships in comparision to her friends. 

While watching the movie it made me wonder how honest we are with our partners. 

Did you tell everything about your past to him/her?  

Did you leave something out just because it didn’t sound right? 

Do you think not telling is not the same as lying? 

While driving home yesterday, they were asking similar questions on the radio and I was surprised by the number of callers who called in to say that they have hidden many things from their partners even though they are in a long term relationship. Their excuse was that if things had happened in the past and they are not effecting the present, why should they talk about it. Some of them even went  and said that if they do tell their partners about their past, their partners may leave them. Others said sometimes it is best to keep your mouth shut. 

I was really surprised to hear that because I thought everyone talks about their past with their partner especially if they are in a long term relationship. Relationships are built on trust so not telling or hiding doesn’t seem to be an option to me. Openness is what I believe is the foundation of a good relationship along with willingness to show themselves to each other. Many people have skeletons in the closet which they rather keep under wraps but didn’t your past shape and mold you to be the person that you are today? 

For me, I believe that when you start a new relationship, you should start with honestly and it includes telling each other everything including things you are not proud of. Things you don’t know won’t harm you is not an excuse for hiding the truth. And yes not telling is the same as lying if it involves your partner. 

When I first hooked up with my husband, I did tell him everything about my past including things I was not proud of and things I know he won’t be pleased with. As he was leaving his familiar surrounding to be with me where he will be hanging out with my family and friends, I thought he needed to learn the truth about me before he can make a decision that he will not regret in the future. Once I told him everything, my heart was lighter because I knew in the future no matter what comes up from anyone, he can say “Yes I know”. That is what I wanted and I am glad he felt the same. 

He also told me everything (according to him)  🙂  . Somethings were not easy to listen to but I know in my heart it was necessary if we were planning to live the rest of our life together. 

Imagine a situation; you are happily married for 5 years. Then you meet your friend who is married as well. So four of you becomes buddies again and start hanging out. If you had left things out from your past while telling your partner about it, don’t you think there is a big possibility that it may come out at any time in the conversation and haunt the two of you? Imagine your partner’s horror if he was not informed about it. It may not happen but it can happen so why do we need to take that chance. Especially in this age of social networking where you don’t know when, how or where you will come face to face with your past? 

So I believe honesty is the best policy when it comes to your partner especially if you are going to spend the rest of your life with him. Starting with an open book will lead you to the happiness that you deserve, than not telling him the truth and praying for it to stay in the closest for the rest of your life.

12 Comments

Posted in Relationship

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Dilemma

Posted on December 15, 2011 | 14 comments

I have a friend from school who used to be very close to me. We used to talk and share our dreams together. We used to have sleepover and share a close bond with each other’s families too. 

When I came to Australia we used to talk often and kept in touch. Our friendship was really strong and my parents used to invite her for all the festivals even I was not in Nepal. I was there to support her and she was there to support me even when we were miles apart. 

5 years ago she decided to come to Australia. I helped her in every possible way. She got a visa to come here and stayed with me. I was really happy to have my friend close to me again. It was going well until one day I found out that she was dating my friend, who I had introduced to her. I was a bit hurt as I would have wanted to hear that information from her but I heard it from a third-party. I didn’t say anything to her. I didn’t ask any questions but waited for her to be ready to talk to me. 

From that time on even as we lived together, we hardly saw each other and had really no conversation with each other. I tried a few times to catch up with her but she seemed too busy with her boyfriend and his family. 

Six months went by and we went from good friends to just room mates. Then she told me that she was going to marry her boyfriend. I was really happy for them as I knew both of them well. I did my best to help her with her wedding but whatever I did didn’t mend the distance between us. 

After the wedding she moved in with her new husband and we didn’t really keep in touch. I called her up a couple of times but I got the feeling that she didn’t want to talk so I stopped calling. I have no idea what happened between us but in this unknown way I lost a friend. 

We still meet during functions organised by common friends but we just say hi and that is all. Last weekend when I went to one of the gatherings, one of my girlfriends informed me that she is expecting a baby. I was so happy to hear the news but I don’t know what I can do. I thought of calling her or writing her an email but I am scared. 

What if she doesn’t response to my email?  or What if the phone conversation becomes awkward? are all the questions that are stopping me from reaching out to her.

I am not even sure she wants me to be a part of her life again. 

Just confused on what I can do next. 

Should I leave things as it is? Or Should I reach out to her?

Can anyone help? If you have been in a similar situation, what have you done? 

P.S: I am writing my version of story as her version can be very different from this. 

14 Comments

Posted in Emotions, Friends

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Penpals

Posted on November 23, 2011 | 7 comments

Yesterday I was just going through my old papers and I came across a pile of letters. They were letters from my pen pals from my school days.

When I was in middle school, we had an English teacher named Sally Baker who encouraged everyone to write. So she had this idea for all of us to have pen pals from different schools around the world. She got around 100 letters from students from US and randomly gave those letters to us.

 I got Emily Roberts from Massachusetts, US. She wrote,

 Hi,

My name is Emily. I love flowers and Unicorns.

Will you be my friend?

There were a few stickers of unicorn.

I felt so special to get her letter so  I send my first letter to her and then we were pen pals. She used to send me birthday and Christmas cards and I sent her Dashain / Tihar and birthday cards. It was fun to know someone so far away. It was really nice and I would tell everyone who listened that I have a pen pal in US.

Around the same time, I also made 2 more pen pals, Ahmed Yakub from Lahore,Pakistan and Raja Gurung from Darjeeling,India.

With Ahmed Yakub, I had a short friendship as he stopped writing to me after few months but with Raja, our friendship is still on. He is my Facebook friend now. He is happily married with 2 kids.

Back then, he used to send me ‘Churpi’ from Darjeeling and it was a big treat for me. Churpi is a dried smoked cheese and they said Darjeeling’s Churpi is the best. He even came and visited me when he was holidaying in Nepal with his parents. It was so weird to see him in person. Even though I had seen hin in photos both of us felt bit awkward when we meet face to face. But I was glad we met. He is one of the nicest persons I have ever met and I am glad he is my friend now.

With Emily, I lost touch after 1998. I am not sure what happened but I didn’t get any reply for 3 of my letters so I stopped writing to her.

I can’t believe I used to use snail mail and wait weeks for the reply to come back. It was really exciting to see the postman coming to my door and deliver the letters from my pen pals. Surprisingly back then my mail was never lost even when it contained birthday gifts and big packages.

If someone asked me to write a letter these days I would never do it but back then I learnt so many things from these pen pals about their country and culture. There was no internet or 1000’s of channels on TV so my source of information was books. I used to go to libraries and read lots of books but to have pen pals had its own adventures. I received first hand information from them. I could ask questions to them and they would write about things in their countries. I used to write about our festivals and send them postcards of Nepal. Emily once sent me the American flag.

While blogging I felt, it is a modernised version of having a pen pal. We don’t know people when we start reading someone’s blog, they are just a name or initial in most of the cases but if we follow their stories, we learn a lot about them. That’s why I guess I started to blog and read blogs.

Happy blogging everyone!!!

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Posted in Friends

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