I hate those cycle

If you are a woman, you know what I am talking about and if you are a man, you will think you know what I am talking about.

I am talking about periods. It comes with a headache, cramps and mood swings (for most) uninvited each and every month for every woman in this planet. It is like you wish this cycle was once a year or once a life time. If you are a man, you know you have to deal with it as well. You are the one we vent our anger and frustrations on during that time. So indirectly you are affected by these cycles as well. If you still don’t know what I am talking about, let me spell it out for you, I am talking about MENSTRUATION.

When I was in school, during sex ed classes we were taught that a woman has mood swings during their periods. Hope all the boys were listening as they will be affected by this their whole life as well. It would be so sad if they were not listening ,thinking that’s only girl’s stuff because they are on the receiving end of the grief from their partners on those days.

The few hours in school did not prepare me for the cycles I have to go through every month of my life. As I mentioned in the post Bahra, we celebrated my becoming an adult with a few hundred people and lots of gifts but not even a word on what to expect and how it will affect my life.

I find that I am lucky that my period is not as bad as many of my friends. I will tell you the details later. Mine started really great with no pain at all. I used to play sports in school during my periods and I was perfectly fine. But then in the last few years, I started to get lower back pains. Then bad mood and irritation followed to make matters worse. When I googled it, it told me all that is normal. “What the hell!” was my reaction. “To be in pain and bad mood is normal?” Anyway I couldn’t do much so I tried my best not to let it affect my life. There are times I wish boys had this cycle rather than girls but then I have no control over nature.

I feel bad for the males of our species, like my husband, who have to put up with us when we are going through it. I know I am very unreasonable and cranky. Nothing he does will be right at that time. (Sorry my darling). But then I don’t know any other way to handle it.

Back to my friends. I really feel lucky when I see my friend who can’t go to work during these cycles. She has to take painkillers and lie on the bed at least for the first few days. She has missed so much in life due to them. She went to so many doctors but no solution yet.

Also I have an aunt who cries every time she goes through the cycle. When I was a kid, I had no idea why she was in so much pain. I really thought she had some horrible disease but later I realised it was just those time of the month.

I read in some reports that if you have really bad pain then you must see a doctor as it can be something serious like a sign of endometriosis, a condition in which cells from the lining of the womb, or uterus, grows in other parts of the body. Endometriosis can cause inflammation and the formation of scar tissue, leading to pain, irregular bleeding and, in severe cases, infertility and is common in women in their 30’s. I know it seems rare but this disease is believed to affect one in ten women but most of them are not even aware of it.

If you were born in a country like Nepal, talking about menstruation is taboo. You live with cramps, heavy flow and have to interact with people who are rude or unsympathetic. I remember being embarrassed to even talk about it and the irony is now I am writing a blog about it.

I really think young girls need to be taught everything they need to know about these cycles so they can take proper action in time. In this time and age, natural things like periods should be openly discussed and girls should be encouraged to get information about it. Also I believe every male needs to learn about this as well as they will be spending time with females in their life who are going through these cycles. I know there is no need to stop our life every 28 days but some women can’t help it. It will really help if there are people around who can understand us during this time.

Crackle Nail Polish

Few days ago, I commented on my colleague on her new manicure. It looked really nice with a sliver and pink cracking design. I had seen something similar before but what surprised me was her response that she did those designs herself. She said she used cracking nail polish.

So I went to my best friend Google and searched for information on the polish. I found Sally Hasen Crackle as one of many options available in the market. So when I went to the mall yesterday, I bought Sally Hasen Crackle Silver Overcoat and tried that over my peach colour nail polish. As it was my first attempt I tried a few different methods and am writing down the process in case you want to do it too.

  • First use the base coat for the polish as normal. I apply two coats so it works well with the top coat. It is best to use contrasting colour so the cracks stands out. I used bright peach as it is summer here.
  • Let the top coat to dry completely. Have patience otherwise you may need to do the whole process again which is very time consuming.
  • Once the base is 100% dry, apply a thin coat of the Crackle Overcoat. If you apply too think coat, there will be less cracks so it is best to have a light hand. Now let it dry naturally.
  • You will see as the Crackle Overcoat dries out, it will start to crack making really nice patterns.
  • Now apply a clear over coat to make it last longer.

I will be buying different colours next time to try out. Let me know if you have tried a different company’s crackle nail polish and how the results are.

Should you tell your partner about your past?

I was watching the movie called “What’s Your Number” starting Anna Faris. It‘s a movie about a woman who looks back at her past relationships in her life. It is just your standard chick-flick. At one point she wanted to lie about her past even to her close friends as she realised that she had too many relationships in comparision to her friends. 

While watching the movie it made me wonder how honest we are with our partners. 

Did you tell everything about your past to him/her?  

Did you leave something out just because it didn’t sound right? 

Do you think not telling is not the same as lying? 

While driving home yesterday, they were asking similar questions on the radio and I was surprised by the number of callers who called in to say that they have hidden many things from their partners even though they are in a long term relationship. Their excuse was that if things had happened in the past and they are not effecting the present, why should they talk about it. Some of them even went  and said that if they do tell their partners about their past, their partners may leave them. Others said sometimes it is best to keep your mouth shut. 

I was really surprised to hear that because I thought everyone talks about their past with their partner especially if they are in a long term relationship. Relationships are built on trust so not telling or hiding doesn’t seem to be an option to me. Openness is what I believe is the foundation of a good relationship along with willingness to show themselves to each other. Many people have skeletons in the closet which they rather keep under wraps but didn’t your past shape and mold you to be the person that you are today? 

For me, I believe that when you start a new relationship, you should start with honestly and it includes telling each other everything including things you are not proud of. Things you don’t know won’t harm you is not an excuse for hiding the truth. And yes not telling is the same as lying if it involves your partner. 

When I first hooked up with my husband, I did tell him everything about my past including things I was not proud of and things I know he won’t be pleased with. As he was leaving his familiar surrounding to be with me where he will be hanging out with my family and friends, I thought he needed to learn the truth about me before he can make a decision that he will not regret in the future. Once I told him everything, my heart was lighter because I knew in the future no matter what comes up from anyone, he can say “Yes I know”. That is what I wanted and I am glad he felt the same. 

He also told me everything (according to him)  🙂  . Somethings were not easy to listen to but I know in my heart it was necessary if we were planning to live the rest of our life together. 

Imagine a situation; you are happily married for 5 years. Then you meet your friend who is married as well. So four of you becomes buddies again and start hanging out. If you had left things out from your past while telling your partner about it, don’t you think there is a big possibility that it may come out at any time in the conversation and haunt the two of you? Imagine your partner’s horror if he was not informed about it. It may not happen but it can happen so why do we need to take that chance. Especially in this age of social networking where you don’t know when, how or where you will come face to face with your past? 

So I believe honesty is the best policy when it comes to your partner especially if you are going to spend the rest of your life with him. Starting with an open book will lead you to the happiness that you deserve, than not telling him the truth and praying for it to stay in the closest for the rest of your life.

Dilemma

I have a friend from school who used to be very close to me. We used to talk and share our dreams together. We used to have sleepover and share a close bond with each other’s families too. 

When I came to Australia we used to talk often and kept in touch. Our friendship was really strong and my parents used to invite her for all the festivals even I was not in Nepal. I was there to support her and she was there to support me even when we were miles apart. 

5 years ago she decided to come to Australia. I helped her in every possible way. She got a visa to come here and stayed with me. I was really happy to have my friend close to me again. It was going well until one day I found out that she was dating my friend, who I had introduced to her. I was a bit hurt as I would have wanted to hear that information from her but I heard it from a third-party. I didn’t say anything to her. I didn’t ask any questions but waited for her to be ready to talk to me. 

From that time on even as we lived together, we hardly saw each other and had really no conversation with each other. I tried a few times to catch up with her but she seemed too busy with her boyfriend and his family. 

Six months went by and we went from good friends to just room mates. Then she told me that she was going to marry her boyfriend. I was really happy for them as I knew both of them well. I did my best to help her with her wedding but whatever I did didn’t mend the distance between us. 

After the wedding she moved in with her new husband and we didn’t really keep in touch. I called her up a couple of times but I got the feeling that she didn’t want to talk so I stopped calling. I have no idea what happened between us but in this unknown way I lost a friend. 

We still meet during functions organised by common friends but we just say hi and that is all. Last weekend when I went to one of the gatherings, one of my girlfriends informed me that she is expecting a baby. I was so happy to hear the news but I don’t know what I can do. I thought of calling her or writing her an email but I am scared. 

What if she doesn’t response to my email?  or What if the phone conversation becomes awkward? are all the questions that are stopping me from reaching out to her.

I am not even sure she wants me to be a part of her life again. 

Just confused on what I can do next. 

Should I leave things as it is? Or Should I reach out to her?

Can anyone help? If you have been in a similar situation, what have you done? 

P.S: I am writing my version of story as her version can be very different from this. 

Transformation of my social life

There used to be time when I was young and carefree!!! 

I feel so old now and my social life may be to blame for that. 

Once upon a time not so long ago, I used to look forward to social gatherings and outings. It used to be all about us going out and having fun. All of us were young and most of us were single. Then slowly, everything started to change as one by one all my friends started to get married. 

Then my social events mostly included couples and their wedding parties followed by their anniversary parties and baby showers soon after. 

Now I am going to kid’s party so often. Being recently married, we are not thinking of kids yet but we are surrounded by them. Last Sunday one of my good friend’s daughter turned 3 and there was a BBQ party in a park. It was an afternoon event so when we reached the park, there were lots of kids there with their parents already starting the party. 

There were kids playing on the swings while a few were running around and shouting. Most of the men were around the BBQ while there were ladies who were sitting in the picnic area talking.

 After a brief hello to some people and wishing the little girl a happy birthday, I was left surrounded by lots of woman mostly married with kids while AS was chatting with some guys . 

While hanging out with the mums, I realise that most of the conversation revolved around babies so I had nothing to contribute. 

I used to say things like “ohoo. it is so hard once you have a baby” then every mum had the same answer for my comment “Not at all, it is so much pleasure than pain”. So I started saying “That is so great to have a baby, so much pleasure.” which was an even worst statement as they gave me a look that said, “You don’t know what you are talking about.” So I realised that both of the statements weren’t totally accurate so it was better to keep my mouth shut.

Back to the table, I heard them talking excitedly about how Jonny did in school sports or how Nina has started to walk now. They started amm… and aaaahaaaa…. about each others’ babies and the events surrounding them. All I could do was just smile and nod. 

I was remembering how BBQ used to be before but now that is my social life. I think I will fit in perfectly with all these women when I have my own baby but until then I don’t know how many functions and BBQs I will have to attend where all I will be doing is lots of nodding of my head. 

I absolutely love babies but I guess untill I am a mother myself, I won’t know what to say and when to ammmm.. and aaahhaaa… 

This weekend I have a baby shower, a one year’s birthday party and a wedding to attend. I am really hoping I will have at least a few people in these events who I can relate and talk to.