Tag Archives: hindu system

Our Story : Apart again – Part 16

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 ,Part 13 , Part 14. and Part 15

It felt like our relation had more time with us being apart than together.

After the engagement ceremony, we had only a few days before I was packing my bag to go back to Sydney. I had a job interview in a few days once I landed.

The day I was to leave for Sydney, my mum gave me Sagun and my parents along with my aunts, uncles, cousins and AS came to drop me to the airport. Well, what can I say; airports can be so exciting, yet so sad. Just a month before, I was outside Trivbhuvan International airport and was so excited when AS was coming out of those gates and then it was that day I was outside the same airport and I was so sad.

It was so hard for me to leave the country this time as I felt I hadn’t spent enough time with my parents and AS. There were so many things incomplete on my list but I had no choice but to leave.

It was such a sad day when I left Kathmandu. I lingered outside the airport longer than usual talking to my parents and AS. I looked into AS’s eyes and I could see that he was sad as well because we didn’t have enough time together. We wanted to but the circumstances were not on our side. When I entered the airport door for departure, my heart was very heavy. I didn’t turn around and look back because I knew my mum would have tears on her eyes and it would be very hard for me to control my emotions.

The long walk to the check-in counter, the look in their eyes, my feelings, their feelings, so many things combined, then, the moment of truth… saying good-bye one last time through the glass doors before taking the escalator to go to upper level.

Lots of feelings, emotions, and thoughts came to my mind.Questions like what next? When I am going to see AS again? What’s gonna happen with the job? Etc. I had to remind myself that it is not going to be for 10 years this time.

By the time I reached Singapore airport, I was tried and couldn’t wait to find a Wi-Fi hotspot so I could talk to my parents and AS. First I called my parents to tell them that I had reached Singapore safely and would talk to them soon after I land in Sydney. Then I called AS and he came on Skype.

Me: I miss you already

AS: I know baby but we will be together soon.

Me: I am not sure if I made the right decision coming back to Sydney so soon.

AS: I am sure you did love. We will be fine.

Me: Ohoo I hope so. I better get that job …

AS: You will. I am sure

Me: I am not so sure but hope you are right. I love you AS

AS:I love you too baby. Now cheer up. You will do great

Despite AS’s assurance, I had my doubts.

Anyway we talked for a while until it was time for me to board the plane. I was glad he was there during the transit so I was not lonely.

The flight from Singapore to Sydney was long and tiring. Normally I don’t mind flying but I was not in a very high spirit. I tried to watch as many movies as possible and not to think at all.

Once I was back in Sydney, life was back to normal again with Skype keeping us together. Now it was harder to be apart as the relation was new and we both wanted to spend more time together. We tried our best to talk as much as possible as AS was on holiday, it helped a lot. I have to admit he woke up early or stayed awake just to talk to me for a few minutes sometimes. As I was back to work, he managed according to my timetable and I am very grateful for his understanding.

Finally, the day for my job interview came. I was a bit nervous about it but made sure I dressed well for the first impression. They hadn’t seen me yet as my first interview was over the phone.

I wore a white shirt, black skirt with black shoes. I bought a new jacket and made sure I looked professional. When I reached the office, there were 3 people in the interview panel.

I think I was there for 20 minutes and they all asked different questions. I answered best to my knowledge and I thought the interview went well. It took a week for them to get back with the result and I was so glad that I finally got the job. I was to start the next month.

Getting the job definitively made it worth for me to travel back to Sydney but that also meant that I won’t be able to go back to Nepal for 6 months or more. My parents and AS were happy that the outcome was positive and all was good at the end.

Now I had to finalised my old job and get ready for the new one. I made sure there were few weeks off in between so I could rest and start fresh.

In the meantime, AS finished his holiday in Nepal and left for India to continue working there. As we didn’t have a definitive plan, he thought it was a good idea for him to keep working but he decided not to go to US yet. All these uncertainties meant we might be apart for a few months or a whole year; who knew at that time.

While Skyping one day, I came up with a brilliant idea to meet again. It would be 2 months by then that I had seen AS so I suggested we should take a holiday together in Thailand. AS was on board with the idea so we booked our tickets and hotels. I am sure it might have need some convincing in AS’s job for him to take another holiday so soon but it was going to be for 10 days long only.

I was excited again because I knew that I was going to see him soon. In the meantime AS decided to move to Australia to be with me instead of going back to the US. I told him that if things didn’t work out here then I would be happy to move to US in the future. Also as I got a new job it seemed liked a good solution.

So the visa process to come to Sydney was started while I was day dreaming and counting days to meet him in Bangkok.

Will write more soon. Please come back for more.

Till then, take care.


M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 17

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story – First date – Part 12 *Our Story – Meeting the Parents – Part 13


Our Story: The Engagement – Part 15

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 ,Part 13 and Part 14.

If marriages are made in heaven, it is literally so in the Hindu system because of the belief that all major events of life are influenced by heavenly bodies; that is, by the stars, planets, moons and so on. A simple task of fixing the marriage date, for example, calls for a consultation with an astrologer and he decides on an auspicious date, or Subha Sahit, after gauging the influences of the celestial bodies on the bride and groom based on the dates and times of their birth.

So, for our engagement, fixing the date became a long and tedious process because there were so many things to be considered. First of all, it was our birth chart. Astrological compatibility consideration is not only a mere ancestral practice but is a way to get the knowledge regarding the nature, features, love and the social communication features of the people. Unless and until compatibility is found between the two persons, they can’t hold a life-long relationship happily. Since it is a very difficult task to get an accurate knowledge of a person’s nature etc. before a marriage (or a long-term relationship), Astrology can definitely help the two lives a great deal.

The other main factor was I was leaving for Sydney at the end of January and the dates had to be before I left.

We somewhat already knew what the astrologer would tell our family about AS and my horoscope compatibility. AS had a flatmate who was good with astrology so before he came back to Nepal, he asked him to see how compatible we were; as we knew it would matter to our family.

Lucky for us, it came back 27.5 out of 36 points. It stated that

The score of compatibility points is much above the mean. This speaks of only good in all respects pertaining to married life. Marriage between the prospective pair is highly recommended. Only the very best in all the respects could be taken as destined. Normally a match with 18 or more points is considered good.

It was a relief for both of us and when our parents did the same thing in Nepal, they were happy with the result as well.

Finally, a date was decided, few days before I was to leave. As always, it was meant to be a small ceremony between few close family and friends but it turned out to be a function for around 150 people. Initially, we were planning to have the ceremony at my house, but with 150 people, it was not possible so a venue was arranged.

When the big day came, I was tired and excited at the same time because there was so much to be done in leading up to the day. I had to shop for the outfit I was going to wear that day. Then I also had to shop for outfit AS’s family was giving me. My MIL thought, it will be best if I buy those stuff myself so I would wear them in the future. That was really nice of her.

I was preparing for the engagement and going to Sydney at the same time. I didn’t have many days after the ceremony so I was trying to do as much as possible before hand.

The day before the engagement, I went to the party venue with some of my good friends to decorate the place. I wanted to do a feature wall and decorate it so that it would look like an engagement venue. So we printed out our names including Happy Engagement in colourful papers along with lots of hearts and stars. It took ages to cut them and then stick them on the wall but the effort was worth it as the place looked nice after the decoration. I was really grateful that I had AS and a bunch of my friends to help me.

engagement (1)

On the morning of the engagement, I work up early. I already had my aunts and cousins at my place.  After a shower, we had breakfast and it was time to get ready for the occasion.

I had bought a red sari for the day and my mum had made sure that all the jewellery was ready for the day. I put on my sari, chura, jewelleries and my cousins did my hair and makeup. I was dressed in red sari with golden work. Had my hair and make-up done like a Nepali bridal. I was feeling as if  it was my wedding, not an engagement, as there was so much fuss at my house.

engagement (2)

Finally, everyone was ready and we headed towards the party venue. Many of my relatives were already there and the party was going on full swing. People were enjoying their entrée and drinks.

 After what seemed like ages, AS and his family finally arrived at the venue. AS was dressed in a dark blue suit and I swear he looked so handsome. My dad welcomed him at the gate with tika (a mixture of rice, yogurt and vermillion) and garland and brought him to sit next to me on a sofa.

engagement (3)

When I saw him with his family that day, my heart was melting because everything around me was so real and we are making our relationship official now.

engagement (4)

The groom’s side followed the tradition and brought trays and trays of sweets, fruits and gifts for me. A few days ago, we had ordered a big cake as well so it was also ready.

First of all we waited for the auspicious time and then the priest started to say few mantras. Then the priest put tika on our forehead and told us that that we should exchange the rings.

engagement (3)

So in front of our families and friends, we exchanged rings and we were officially “ENGAGED”.

engagement (6) engagement (5)

It was followed by the elders putting tika on our forehead and blessing us for a happy life together. It started with our parents followed by his and my relatives.

engagement (4)

At the end, we had so much tika on our forehead that it kept sliding to our nose. Some of our relatives had brought us gifts and flowers too.

engagement (1)

After that we cut the engagement cake, one of the yummiest cakes I have ever eaten; with fresh cream in black forest base. Once we cut the cake, we fed it to each other. As there were too many people around, I took a small bite of the cake and his relatives were encouraging me to have a big slice. It was all so much fun. Then we gave the cake to our parents and then to the rest of the guests.

engagement (6)

After the main ceremony, everyone was buys enjoying the party with the food and dancing. We had photos taken with everyone as well.

engagement (2) engagement (5)

After a few hours, when the party started to come to an end, AS and his family left and we were left with only a few of my close friends and relatives. We didn’t want to stop the party so we continued to party until after midnight and I made sure every one of my relatives were on the dance floor including my parents. It was really fun.

Fun was over for a while after this event because after a few days of the engagement, I left for Australia. I will continue about that in the next post. Take care till then.


M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 16

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story – First date – Part 12 *Our Story – Meeting the Parents – Part 13