Tag Archives: husband

Yahoo

AS and I email each other while at work sometimes. Both of us are so busy someday that the only way to talk is via email. Sometimes it is a few words depending upon the context. Here is one of the funny email chains.

My email (After forwarding an email): OK. I have sent you John’s email. Please read.

AS’s email : Where?

My email: Yahoo

AS’s email: What yahoo… where did you send me John’s email? To which of my email ids?

My email: Ur yahoo email

AS’s email: hahahahaha, just had a brain fa*t!

He just made my day and I still laughed when I read the email chain again this morning.

Empty mind

Do you have days when you want to write but don’t know where to start? Today is one of those days for me; I have no idea where to start. I can’t blame it on jetlag anymore as its been over a week now since I returned. It’s been wet and rainy for the past few days so I could blame my condition on wet weather.

I am sure all of you know by now that I am a summer person and I love beach and barbeque so the autumn weather is not agreeing with me. It is ruining my plans.

Like on Friday, I decided to go for a run during lunchtime but it rained which meant I didn’t run thus no exercise for the day. On weekend , me and AS planned a little outing for ourselves to go to the city and have some fun but the stupid rain ruined it again and today I am hoping to go for run during the lunch time but the weather hasn’t been very promising. It’s been raining since morning and hope it will stop soon.

I wish last weekend had been bit longer as it was really nice to wake up late in the morning and not have to rush to anything. AS was great and made me breakfast yesterday while I did breakfast on Saturday. They were simple ones but I welcomed the change. All we did during the weekend was unpack, clean the house and rest. Not very productive as would have liked but I’m glad we had some time off.

I was Skyping with my mum yesterday and was missing her a lot. It feels so sad to leave my parents in Nepal and living here so far away in their old age. I am sure she didn’t expect that when she had us, one day we would not be around. This feeling always makes me feel so guilty and I feel sad that I can’t do anything about it anytime soon.

mum

It has been over four years since I and AS got engaged and it is nice to feel and see how our relationship has evolved. I am so glad that we have gone through ups and downs to get us where we are. We have been tested multiple times and still managed to pass each phase and come out stronger. I am so glad he has been a strong support when I am in my crazy moods. May be this is why you need a partner to keep you sane and grounded.

nepal2014 (3)

Talking about family, as predicated everyone in Nepal highly recommended that we should have a baby soon. Their words were less subtle than I liked but the message was, “Have a baby now before it is too late.” AS and I had talk about baby a lot and we have our plans. Constantly hearing about it is not going to change our minds and we are determined that we will stick to our plan and make up our own minds.

Hope everyone is having a better Monday morning than I am. Have a good day.

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Marriage on the rocks

If you are worried after reading the title, please do not worry, I am still happily married. But recently I have had friends and colleagues who are either divorced, separated or their marriage is on the rocks. This made me think about marriage in general and of course I and AS.

Most of my friends and colleagues I am talking about have been married for a long time. One of them for 10 years, another 14 and others many more too. Most of them were high school sweet hearts and in love for a long time before they decided to get married and have beautiful kids but after such a long union, they decided to part way and inmost cases, the reason was infidelity. I was actually shocked in many cases, as I knew both people in the marriage.

I have heard about the 7 year itch and read a lot about what happens to sex life when one has kids. Still looking around and finding so many people with their marriage in tatters really made me think about marriage in general seriously.

AS is my best friend first before my husband so I share what I was thinking with him all the time. So while in this topic, I asked him “Do you think we might have a problem like this in our marriage as well?” I am not sure what kind of answer I was hoping to get but I was shocked when he answered “Of course, we will. I am not going to say we will have a perfect marriage.” As much as I appreciate his honestly, it also made me worried about the whole institution of marriage.

I come from Nepal, a country where  they teach that marriage is for life but even there things are changing slowly. The divorce rate is still not as high there as in the western world. So when I married AS, I married him for life, for better or for worse. But seeing so many couple heading down the divorce path, I really want to work harder on my marriage to make sure we don’t ever head towards that path.

As everything else in life, I know we tend to take our partners for granted after being with them for few years which means we may not make a special time for him and once kids are in the equation, most mums are really too busy to plan something as a couple. But I still can’t justify someone cheating on their partner because they are bored.

When Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston got divorced many years ago, I was always Team Jen. I used to like Brad Pitt as an actor but I couldn’t stand the fact that he cheated on his wife. I know everyone has their weak moments and relationships go sour but one can always exit the relationship gracefully before entering to another one so why cheat?

Most people who cheat seem to think they will never be found out but living in this modern world where very cell phone has a camera and everyone has Facebook, how can they be dumb enough to go around their partners back to have fun.

While talking to AS, he was making me understand how men think and I know that they don’t have their brain in their head but I still can’t forgive a person who cheats no matter if that’s a man or a women.

But that takes me to my next question. What will do if you find out your partner is cheating?

There are 3 solutions

  1. Do nothing and pretend nothing happened
  2. Forgive and work on the marriage
  3. Get Divorced/Separated

To be honest, I don’t think I will be able to do first two options. I definitely can’t pretend nothing had happened when I know that my husband is sleeping with someone else. I probably could forgive but for the rest of our life I will wonder where he has gone or whom he had been with and that won’t be the kind of relationship I will like to continue where there is no trust. So the only option that I can manage will be getting divorce.

Therefore, I do understand why all my friends decided to choose that path when they found out that their partner was cheating.

But before we can get to that fork on the road where there are only those three solutions there must be things we can do to make sure we are never in that situation.

Of course, relations and marriage are between two people but each individual makes it work so I am seriously thinking about ways to keep our marriage as happy and healthy as it is now. Here are a few things I think will help for a long lasting relationship.

  • Never take each other for granted
  • Do nice things for each other from time to time
  • Make time for each other and hug, kiss, hold each other.
  • Respect each other
  • Think before you speak (I need to practice this more)
  • Compromise to make him/her happy
  • Do things together
  • Be aware of each other’s need
  • Take time out to talk
  • Don’t withhold intimacy as a punishment
  • Never compare your relationship with other couples because you don’t know their real relationship (behind the fake smiles maybe)
  • When your partner does something that upsets you, stop, sit down, and explain to your partner why what he/she is doing is bothering you
  • Accept your partner for who he/she is, after all you married him/her because you loved the way he/she is
  • Respect the fact that your partner is going to need alone time
  • Be positive and work for your future together

Please share your tips here so we all can help each other. All I wish is to have AS in my life until I take my last breath and can’t imagine my life without him. Wish everyone a happy relationship.

Take care everyone and have a great weekend,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

WAF (Wife acceptance factor)

AS has been talking about buying an expensive surround sound system for a while now. We haven’t really gone to the store to get one yet but I know that we will have different opinions already. He will love something more expensive as by default it will be better but I can’t justify a very expensive sound system. I really don’t need a cinema experience at home. To be honest I will be very happy with whatever setup we currently have.

Anyway, we always have this kind of difference when it comes to technology. Even though I love technology, I can’t justify buying the most expensive ones. This morning AS sent me an email at work with a link to wiki of WAF (Wife acceptance factor).

I really didn’t know what it was but this is how wiki defines it:

Wife Acceptance Factor, Wife Approval Factor, or Wife Appeal Factor(WAF), are design elements that increase the likelihood a wife will approve the purchase of expensive consumer electronics products such as high-fidelity loudspeakers, home theater systems and personal computers. Stylish, compact, unobtrusive forms and appealing colors are commonly considered WAF. The term is a tongue-in-cheek play on electronics jargon such as “form factor” and “power factor” and derives from the gender stereotype that men are predisposed to appreciate gadgetry and performance criteria whereas women must be wooed by visual and aesthetic factors

If you want to know more here is the link.

I kind of understand how it came about as in most marriage, each other’s opinion matters but that doesn’t apply to men only, what about HAF (Husband acceptance factor).

So I emailed him back asking,” What about Husband acceptance factor?”

His answer was  “No such thing! 😀 Husbands have no choice in the matter 😛

In some way I was happy to see his reply but at the same time he and I both know that it is not true. Tell me if I am wrong but we girls are very thoughtful beings and ask the approval of husband/partners when buying dresses, bags, shoes, curtains, flowers, decorations and the list is very long. AS was surprised sometimes that I called him to check his opinion even when I am thinking to buy something at $5. I will definitely consider these actions as Husband Acceptance Factor.

Do you agree with my opinion? If there is a Wife Acceptance Factor on wiki, we need to have Husband Acceptance Factor as well because it does exist.

Please share you experience in Husband (partner)  Acceptance Factor.

Take care everyone,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

Wise hubby

We were driving and listening to the radio when there came an ad. You know how they have cheesy tagline for ads. So one of the car company had a tagline, “Happy car, happy life”.

AS: “Who is the stupid person who wrote that ad?

Me: “Why?”

AS: “It is the universal truth that happy wife is happy life. Car has nothing to do with a happy life.”

I have to say I have one wise hubby :), don’t you agree?