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Our Story: The Engagement – Part 15

Posted on August 2, 2013 | 22 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 ,Part 13 and Part 14.

If marriages are made in heaven, it is literally so in the Hindu system because of the belief that all major events of life are influenced by heavenly bodies; that is, by the stars, planets, moons and so on. A simple task of fixing the marriage date, for example, calls for a consultation with an astrologer and he decides on an auspicious date, or Subha Sahit, after gauging the influences of the celestial bodies on the bride and groom based on the dates and times of their birth.

So, for our engagement, fixing the date became a long and tedious process because there were so many things to be considered. First of all, it was our birth chart. Astrological compatibility consideration is not only a mere ancestral practice but is a way to get the knowledge regarding the nature, features, love and the social communication features of the people. Unless and until compatibility is found between the two persons, they can’t hold a life-long relationship happily. Since it is a very difficult task to get an accurate knowledge of a person’s nature etc. before a marriage (or a long-term relationship), Astrology can definitely help the two lives a great deal.

The other main factor was I was leaving for Sydney at the end of January and the dates had to be before I left.

We somewhat already knew what the astrologer would tell our family about AS and my horoscope compatibility. AS had a flatmate who was good with astrology so before he came back to Nepal, he asked him to see how compatible we were; as we knew it would matter to our family.

Lucky for us, it came back 27.5 out of 36 points. It stated that

The score of compatibility points is much above the mean. This speaks of only good in all respects pertaining to married life. Marriage between the prospective pair is highly recommended. Only the very best in all the respects could be taken as destined. Normally a match with 18 or more points is considered good.

It was a relief for both of us and when our parents did the same thing in Nepal, they were happy with the result as well.

Finally, a date was decided, few days before I was to leave. As always, it was meant to be a small ceremony between few close family and friends but it turned out to be a function for around 150 people. Initially, we were planning to have the ceremony at my house, but with 150 people, it was not possible so a venue was arranged.

When the big day came, I was tired and excited at the same time because there was so much to be done in leading up to the day. I had to shop for the outfit I was going to wear that day. Then I also had to shop for outfit AS’s family was giving me. My MIL thought, it will be best if I buy those stuff myself so I would wear them in the future. That was really nice of her.

I was preparing for the engagement and going to Sydney at the same time. I didn’t have many days after the ceremony so I was trying to do as much as possible before hand.

The day before the engagement, I went to the party venue with some of my good friends to decorate the place. I wanted to do a feature wall and decorate it so that it would look like an engagement venue. So we printed out our names including Happy Engagement in colourful papers along with lots of hearts and stars. It took ages to cut them and then stick them on the wall but the effort was worth it as the place looked nice after the decoration. I was really grateful that I had AS and a bunch of my friends to help me.

engagement (1)

On the morning of the engagement, I work up early. I already had my aunts and cousins at my place.  After a shower, we had breakfast and it was time to get ready for the occasion.

I had bought a red sari for the day and my mum had made sure that all the jewellery was ready for the day. I put on my sari, chura, jewelleries and my cousins did my hair and makeup. I was dressed in red sari with golden work. Had my hair and make-up done like a Nepali bridal. I was feeling as if  it was my wedding, not an engagement, as there was so much fuss at my house.

engagement (2)

Finally, everyone was ready and we headed towards the party venue. Many of my relatives were already there and the party was going on full swing. People were enjoying their entrée and drinks.

 After what seemed like ages, AS and his family finally arrived at the venue. AS was dressed in a dark blue suit and I swear he looked so handsome. My dad welcomed him at the gate with tika (a mixture of rice, yogurt and vermillion) and garland and brought him to sit next to me on a sofa.

engagement (3)

When I saw him with his family that day, my heart was melting because everything around me was so real and we are making our relationship official now.

engagement (4)

The groom’s side followed the tradition and brought trays and trays of sweets, fruits and gifts for me. A few days ago, we had ordered a big cake as well so it was also ready.

First of all we waited for the auspicious time and then the priest started to say few mantras. Then the priest put tika on our forehead and told us that that we should exchange the rings.

engagement (3)

So in front of our families and friends, we exchanged rings and we were officially “ENGAGED”.

engagement (6) engagement (5)

It was followed by the elders putting tika on our forehead and blessing us for a happy life together. It started with our parents followed by his and my relatives.

engagement (4)

At the end, we had so much tika on our forehead that it kept sliding to our nose. Some of our relatives had brought us gifts and flowers too.

engagement (1)

After that we cut the engagement cake, one of the yummiest cakes I have ever eaten; with fresh cream in black forest base. Once we cut the cake, we fed it to each other. As there were too many people around, I took a small bite of the cake and his relatives were encouraging me to have a big slice. It was all so much fun. Then we gave the cake to our parents and then to the rest of the guests.

engagement (6)

After the main ceremony, everyone was buys enjoying the party with the food and dancing. We had photos taken with everyone as well.

engagement (2) engagement (5)

After a few hours, when the party started to come to an end, AS and his family left and we were left with only a few of my close friends and relatives. We didn’t want to stop the party so we continued to party until after midnight and I made sure every one of my relatives were on the dance floor including my parents. It was really fun.

Fun was over for a while after this event because after a few days of the engagement, I left for Australia. I will continue about that in the next post. Take care till then.

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 16

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story – First date – Part 12 *Our Story – Meeting the Parents – Part 13

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Our Story : Meeting the Parents – Part 13

Posted on July 19, 2013 | 20 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 and Part 12.

Once we left the café, we headed towards my home. I told AS not to worry at all as my parents were very cool but I knew that AS and I both were bit nervous. I kind of knew my parents will like him but at the same time I wanted them to love him as well.

It was as a huge milestone in our relationship and it was exciting and promising. After all, it indicated to me that AS felt positive about the future of our relationship together. I knew that it had not been very long ago that we started our relationship but we didn’t have lots of time as both of us were leaving the country in a month’s time.

When we reached home, dad was busy with someone downstairs and mum was in the kitchen, I asked him to wait for them in our living room and went to the kitchen to fetch my mother. Both my parents are not very talkative people so I was a bit worried how the meeting would be.

My mum came to the room and I introduced them. He did Namaste and then they talked for a few minutes. Then my dad arrived as well and my mum left to go to the kitchen as there was a feast being readied for AS. My dad and AS seemed to be getting on well so I was relived. You always want your parents to like your partner as it makes it easy for you to deal with both of them. As I saw AS was comfortable with my dad , I left them for a moment to go to the kitchen and see what my mum was up to.

When I got to the kitchen I saw that she was busy preparing lunch. I told her that we are very full and there is no need for lunch, may be just tea and snacks but she said that it was AS’s first visit so he has to eat some nice food. I knew I was not going to win in this instance so I just gave in.

I asked my mum how she liked AS and she told me that he looked like a nice guy. I took the tea and some snack with me to serve AS and my dad. By then I am sure both of them were feeling comfortable with each other.

AS ate some snacks and had his tea. Then my mum told everyone that lunch was ready so we went upstairs to eat. I couldn’t believe that my mum cooked so many different dishes and AS’s plate seemed to have heaps of every one of them. I felt a bit sorry for AS as I knew both of us were full form our lunch together. So I went and tried to take some things off his plate but my mum caught me in the act and didn’t let me.

My dad and AS sat down for lunch but I decline to eat. My tummy had no room for food and I was bit nervous as well.

To my surprise by the end of lunch AS had finished every item on his plate. And no wonder my mum was so pleased. He even praised my mum’s cooking. But it was not over yet. My mum also served some sweets and knowing AS and his love for sweets, he ate them too.

After lunch, AS stayed for a while and then he had to leave as he had plans at home for the evening. I told him I was sorry that he had to eat so much but he said that he loved it and enjoyed his meal. I accompanied him till the gate of our house and then came back upstairs to hear what my parents thought.

Both my parents were extremely pleased with him and my mum was super happy that her future “jwain” (son in law) was so easy to feed unlike me and my brother. They told me to that they were happy with my choice.

I was over the moon when I heard that as I really wanted my family’s approval to take our relation further. That night I slept well but the next day was a different story.

The next morning I woke up, had breakfast and got ready to meet AS’s parents.

I never knew that meeting your partner’s parents could also be so intimidating.  I was wondering what was in store for the future of your relationship together if his parents didn’t like me.  I had so many conflicting thoughts and emotions that were running through my mind. But I tried to put all negative thoughts behind me and started concentrating on the day.

I know first impressions are often lasting impressions, and I absolutely wanted to dress to impress his parents on the big day of introduction. I wanted to look attractive, presentable, and fashionable so I put on my best Kurta suruwal, did my makeup and hair and waited for AS to pick me up. The plan was to meet his parents and then we would leave to do some shopping in the city. I was really scared to spend a very long time with them in case I stuffed things up. It had sounded like a good idea at the time we had decided to meet each other’s parents but in real life most plans don’t work out as expected so I was a little bit nervous.

When I reached AS’s place, I met his mum and dad. Both or his brothers were not home. Both my future in laws made me feel at ease and talked to me as if they had known me forever but I was nervous in answering them. They asked me some basic questions about where I work or what I studied and what are my plans for the future. AS’s mum talked most of the time while his dad listened and made some comments in between. From time to time, I looked at AS when answering question but he was just there smiling at me. I really wanted things to go well that day. While we were talking, suddenly they had some unexpected visitor, AS’s uncle (his dad’s elder brother) and aunt.

I was now more nervous about what to do and say as it was not in our plan. AS’s mum introduced me to them and they started talking to me too. As they had some other plans, they didn’t stay long.

After they left AS’s mum asked me to stay for lunch (morning Bhat dal). I told her that I am full from breakfast but she said that she was not letting me go without eating something as it was my first time to their home. Seriously every mum seemed to have the same agenda, to feed everyone that they can get their hands on. It was sweet of her but it was not going to be an easy time for me.

First of all, I was full from breakfast and second of all I didn’t prefer eating dal bhat in the morning. But I sat down with AS and his dad while mum served us food. The food was yummy but it took a long time to finish what I had on my plate. AS’s mum wanted me to eat more but I kindly refused. I was just glad when I finished what I had on my plate. I really didn’t want to be rude and not finish my meal.

Finally once we finished, AS got ready and we left. I said my good byes and we were off to the city.

Once we were on our own, I asked how he thought I was. He said I looked so nervous that he felt it was funny. I am a talkative person but I lost all my words when I was in his house.

Later AS told me that his parents were happy to meet me and wanted to meet my parents next.

So after a few days, our parents talked on the phone and decided to meet. AS’s parents came over to our place for dinner. We made sure many varieties were prepared and they had a great time with my parents.

After the meeting, both of us were happy as we had taken the next step in our relationship.

We thought the tough time had passed but there was more to come. I will tell you next time. Till then take care.

Please share your Meeting the Parents story. Were you scared?

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 14

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

 

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Our Story : First date – Part 12

Posted on July 12, 2013 | 14 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 and Part 11.

When we finally met, I could barely contain my happiness, as my first thought was, finally we are together. After the initial meeting at the airport, AS insisted that he would drop me home even though his home would come before mine did when coming from the airport. I felt really happy about this gesture and was happy to spend a few minutes more with him. So he dropped me home and promised to call once he got home. I couldn’t wait for him to call me and talk to me.

But I knew it would be a while. He had come home after a few years so he would need to spend some time with his family, take some rest and then may be call me. I promised myself that no matter how much I wanted to talk with him, I wouldn’t call him. I wanted him to have his time with his family. So I had lunch and was surfing the internet when he called. I was just pleased that he did. He told me that he was going to take a shower, have his lunch and spend some time with family. He would call me again whenever he could but we were meeting tomorrow for sure.

That day we had a very short talk in the evening but I was excited waiting for the next day. It was going to be our official first date.

As he had his birthday a few days ago, we had celebrated over Skype. I had a muffin with a candle and gave it to him online. Unfortunately, he didn’t get to eat his cake but he was glad that I was there to celebrate his birthday.

our story (1)I had got a gift and a card for him as well which I wanted to give it to him. I was eagerly waiting for him to open that. So the plan was to meet for lunch and after lunch, my parents were to meet him.

I had millions of thoughts in my mind when I went to bed that night; excited, scared, happy, worried and loved.

The next morning I work up early and helped my mum clean up. I think my parents were more excited to meet AS than I was. My mum was going to prepare some nice lunch and she was busy giving my dad her shopping list. I told them that he would be full as we were meeting for lunch first but as you know how it is with all mums, they love to feed.

Anyway, I had shower and was thinking hard on what to wear. Normally, I would just slip on a dress but it was winter so my choice was to wear jeans or be traditional and wear Kurta. I decided on jeans and a jacket. I wore a scarf and checked to make sure I looked all right before going out. We were to meet at a cafe midway between both our places and it was a date.

I had known him for years now but he was my boyfriend for only a few weeks so I had millions of questions on my mind I needed answers to. I really didn’t know where we were heading and what would happen when I went back to Australia and he to USA. As I was leaving the house, he called me asking me not to leave yet. He decided to pick up me so I waited until he came. He called me from outside and we went to the restaurant.

We reached the restaurant and ordered coffee and some lunch. I really wanted to hug him and hold him but in Nepal, it is a big no no to public display of affection . So the only thing I could do was hold his hand. We talked for a while when I told him I needed to use the ladies. Then I went around to the café area to check if they had any cakes as I wanted him to have his birthday cake but unfortunately, they didn’t have any big cakes except muffins. I thought they would definitely have one so hadn’t organised anything beforehand. Anyway, I told them to bring a muffin with candle lit on it after we had finished our lunch.

When I was back, lunch was already served and we had our food. I seriously didn’t care about the food at all as it was so good to have him next to me. All I wanted was to look at him and just listen to him talk. We talked about so many things including what we were gonna do and what both families were hoping for.

our story (6) our story (7)Once the lunch was over, the waiter came with his birthday cake, a muffin with candle on it. He was totally surprised and I was really pleased to see his expression. I gave his card and gift. He kept on saying thank you and I was just happy that I was able to make him happy.

First, he opened the card and it read,

our story (2)

For you Dear friend and love

Friends like flowers,

grow on the way

on the path we

travel from

day to day.

Some are fair-weather flowers

that fade before long,

but some of them

bloom even when

things go wrong.

And friend like you

are the flowers, that grow  in

beauty with the showers.

Our friendship

has bloomed through

the wind and rain,

it has blossomed

brighter through

trouble and pain,

that’s why your birthday,

I want to promise you…

I will always be there for you.

to stand by you

always and to be

your friend all life through

YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

DEAR FRIEND!

I promise to be there

every birthday

for rest of our life.

He read it carefully and just hugged me and said, “I love You M.” Then he opened the gift.

our story (3) our story (4)It was a clock with a heart on it. I had been so confused as to what to buy and finally settled on the clock. I wanted to tell him that my heart ticked because of him and how much I am in love with him and every minute of my life is meant to be spent with him from now on.

I also bought him a love heart key ring, I know it is a bit cheesy but I loved it. I bought a pair, which made a whole heart, and when broken into two, each key ring would have half a heart.

our story (5)I really liked the idea so I bought them for us. (Both of us still have them in our key ring 🙂 ). When he saw that, he was touched and told me that he will never break my heart like the one he was holding.

He said it was one of the best birthday celebrations he ever had as he was spending it with me. Isn’t that just sweet? I couldn’t be happier hearing those words.

Then he said he had something for me too. I was seriously not hoping to get anything from him but was happy he thought of me while we were apart. He took out something from his bag. The first one was an Oscar statue which said “Best Sweetheart.”

our story (8)I was touched that he thought of me and bought such a significant gift. It meant a lot to me. I told him that I was ecstatic with the gift. Then he said he wasn’t done yet and took something else out of the bag. It was a red square box and had a white gift bow around it.  I really didn’t know that he made such an effort to look for something for me. I opened it and it was a pair of pearl earrings. It was just perfect and I couldn’t hold my happiness.

our story (1)AS: I hope you like them. I didn’t know what to buy but I thought this will be nice on you.

Me: It is just perfect. Thanks love. I wasn’t hoping to get anything from you at all.

AS: I am just glad you love them. I wasn’t too sure what to buy but when I was in LA, when I saw the statue. I knew that it would be a perfect gift for my sweetheart.

Me: Ohoo, thank you so much. And I love the pearl too. I promise to keep it safe and wear it all the time  🙂

AS: I am glad you did 🙂 (big grin on his face)

We spent some more time in the café and then left to go to my home. It was his turn to meet my parents that day and the next day would be mine. I warned him that my mum had cooked a big lunch for him.

This is it for now but will write soon about our experience meeting the parents next.

Please share your first date story. What were you feeling and how do you feel now after many year? Love to hear.

Take care everyone!

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 13

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

 

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Our story: Meeting the boyfriend – Part 11

Posted on June 27, 2013 | 27 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 and Part 10

I was back in Kathmandu and counting the days until I could meet the AS since he was on a short holiday to New York and Washington DC before heading home to Kathmandu. He was busy sightseeing and meeting his friends and family as he might not get a chance to go back there later once he returned to Kathmandu. We did talk everyday but we didn’t talk for long as he was with his cousins and it would be very rude to be on the phone very long.

I was annoyed about it as I had all the time in the world and nothing much to do but think of him. I have to admit he was doing his best to keep in touch but it would be unreasonable to be staying home when you go to meet people on holiday.

Anyway, the last few days were dragging like it was forever. My parents would ask me about him from time to time and there was no one else I could talk to, as I want us to be OK before I told everyone. He was going to be Kathmandu on 1st January via Hong Kong and Delhi.

Finally, it was 31st December in Nepal and 30th December in New York and we were on Skype.

Me: I am so happy that I will see you tomorrow.

AS: It will be in 2 days for me

Me: Finally we will be in the same time zone. Very excited. So who is picking you up? I don’t think I am ready to meet your family yet.

AS: I have told them that you will pick me up so they won’t be there

Me: You know that I want to meet them but just not ready yet. I want to meet you first. Or they can come and I can see you in the afternoon. Hope they understand.

(I had to explain this to him because my parents had always come to the airport to pick me up and drop me off and that was at least eight times in the last 10 years. I would feel bad if his family does the same and I am stopping them)

AS: I am sure they do. That’s why they said OK, don’t worry too much. I want to see you and meet you love.

Me: Thank you love.

AS: So what are you doing for New Year eve?

Me: I am going to party with some friends in a few hours. I may not be able to talk to you today.

AS: Enjoy the New Year Eve and have a Happy New Year. Will catch you in Kathmandu.

Me: I will but the greatest joy will be seeing you at the airport tomorrow.

We talked for a while and then he went to bed and I was getting ready to go out.

I had a great time with my friends in a New Year Party and was home in time to sleep. I was excited to see AS the next afternoon.

The next morning, I told my parents that I will be going to airport to pick AS up. They asked me if my dad was to accompany me and I told them NO. I was planning to get AS to meet my parents next day anyway.

If you are reading “Our Story”, you can see that airport seemed to have a big role in our life. First, it was LA airport, then Singapore and now Kathmandu airport.

After what seemed like ages, I was going to see him and we were going to be in the same city.  This will be our first time meeting as girlfriend and boyfriend so it was very special day. I went to check my email just to see if AS managed to send me something from the airport and I was happy to see an email from him.

It read

Meri Pyari M, (My beloved M)

Whenever I think of you, I see the sweet smile on your face. I always want the smile to stay right there with the twinkle in your eyes, the blush on your cheeks, the laughter like bells tinkling on a gentle breeze dancing to the rhythm of nature.

Soche ko ta thiyen ki ma euta lamo emial lekachu bhanera.. tara jati lamo email lekhepani.. in essence it all boils down to the fact that… Ma timilai sarai maya garchu M.  (I was planning to write a long email but in essence, it all boils down to the fact that I love you M.)

Whatever may come in life… whatever ups and downs that may happen… hami milera sangai tyasko samanagaraunla (We will go through it together).

I want to write so many things but then I don’t know what to write… I hope this email brings the smile to your face… I’ll wait until we meet to see that smile… Never lose that. Ever.

Forever Yours,

A

When I finished reading the email and I was grinning and was so happy to have him in my life. He always knew how to make me smile. I was going to see him in a few hours. But as they say, good things always come with their own shadow. That is what came next.

My dad came home and told me that it was Nepal Bandh that day which means you can’t drive any type of vehicle on the road. I became a bit worried because my house was far from the airport and AS will have his luggage. I did not know what to do as AS was expecting me to pick him up.

If we ignore the bandh, it could be very risky. I had read and heard about instances where a vehicle had been stopped or even worst, gotten torched.

Imagine the situation where AS is stranded at the airport. His family were not picking him up as he wanted me to be there and I couldn’t go. I was really annoyed and upset.

My dad made a few calls and told me that there would still be special airport taxis that AS coluld catch to get home. But the problem was, he was on the plane by then and he didn’t have a mobile with Nepalese sim card so I couldn’t leave a message. On top of that, I really wanted to meet him as this day was supposed be a very special day for us. A beginning to a very special year on January 1st and a beginning to our life together.

Therefore, I made my decision. I was ready to walk to the airport and on the way back we could catch the special taxi. When I told my parents, they seemed to be fine with my decision but the only condition was that my dad would walk with me. I didn’t think AS was ready to meet my dad at that stage but my dad insisted that that was the only way I was going to be allowed to go. He said he would drop me at the airport and then come back home and I could wait for AS on my own. I couldn’t believe how understanding my parents were in this situation. So after breakfast, dad and I got ready and started our walk to the airport. I wore sensible shoes as it was going to be over an hour’s walk.

I was really grateful to my dad for walking with me as I was scared to bump into people protesting or worst fighting on the streets. The road was empty except for people walking so it a was very different Kathmandu than what I saw every day. The sun was shining which looked like a good omen. From time to time, we saw an occasional bike but apart from that, there were just police vans on the road. Dad and I talked about lots of subjects by the time we reached the airport including mine and AS’s future and what was our plan.

I was honest with my parents from day one about our relationship so told him what I had in mind; that we didn’t know yet and we would talk about this some more once AS and I met.

Once we reached the airport, I was relieved that there were special airport taxis. I told my dad to catch one and leave me there as in half hour AS’s flight would land and he should be out within an hour. He decided to stay with me for another half hour to make sure that the flight was on time and when the monitor indicated that, AS’s flight had safely landed, he caught a taxi to go home. He asked to call him if anything happened. At that moment, I was very proud to be a daughter of my parents as they are loving, caring and so understanding. Seriously, hardly any parent in Nepal would leave a girl to pick up her boyfriend whom she hadn’t meet for ages during a Nepal bandh, just because the daughter wanted to meet her boyfriend the same day. I am just thankful that they are my parents and feel blessed to have them in my life.

After dad left, I waited for AS to come out. The airport was not as busy as usual. At the airport, they have camera at arrival lobby and it was broadcasting to the waiting lounge. I was looking for him when I saw him on TV. My heart started beating fast because he would be out soon.

After the initial drama of the Nepal band passed, I stared to get all different kinds of feelings. I was excited to meet him but at the same time the butterfly in my tummy was moving so fast, I was scared that I would get sick. My body was overwhelmed with feelings that were unexplainable and I was unsure what to think. My heart beat faster and my blood felt like it was flowing more rapidly through my body than it ever had before. I had goose bumps all over my body.

I had to wait another 30 minutes before he emerged from the gate and I ran and hugged him. It felt so good to be able to touch him and find him next to me. Once I was in his arms, I felt, safe, right, at ease, like everything was meant to be, without even needing words or the usual getting to know you level of conversation. Everything around us seemed to stands still and it was like we are alone even in a place full of people.

After the initially embrace, finally we had time to talk. I told him that it was Nepal band and I had to walk. He was happy to see me but sad to see me suffer just to meet him. Then we took the waiting taxi and off we went.

Sitting next to him in the cab, as we talked, he looked into my eyes and I felt that he could see into the very depths of my soul. I was so happy that day that I felt like I wanted to talk to him non-stop, I didn’t want him to leave, and I wanted to hold him, touch him, all in the same breath. I wanted the cab driver to keep driving so we could keep talking and I could see him and be with him forever.

 Will write more soon, till then take care

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 12

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

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Our Story: Telling the parents – Part 10

Posted on May 29, 2013 | 13 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 and Part 9

The rest of the time in India was great and what made it even better was the fact that I had an awesome boyfriend by then who loved me so much.  We both were so in love at that stage that he used to sleep only 4 hours to talk to me and I on the other hand was sleeping talking to him on the phone every night. His was the first voice I heard every morning.  The time difference really was killing us.

I really don’t know what happens between two people when they fall in love. I know an old saying , ” When you in love, you don’t feel like eating or sleeping” but it was just the opposite for me. I was sleeping well and I was definitely eating well. But I had this wonderful fuzzy feeling that left me feeling giddily happy and I enjoyed talking and sharing with AS as our conversation flowed so easily and at the same time I was also very comfortable being silent with him. There was a warm flow of energy between us even though we were miles apart and I felt connected with him even from such a distance but at the same time I wanted to be close to him. Some days I used to get frustrated that it would be 10 more days until I saw him again. I so wanted to see him in front of me, I wanted to hold him and hug him but he was in LA some 13000 km away on opposite side of the globe.

Well, from India, we went to Nepal and started our trip to across Illam, Mirik, Jhapa, Itahari, Kakarvita and surrounding places. I have to say that they were just awesome. Illam is in the far east of Nepal and really beautiful. It is famous for the scenery and landscapes, tea production, and diverse agricultural economy.

Illam (2)It took us a while to get there going around the winding hills but was it worth the effort. From the top of the hill, I could see endless hills covered with tea plantations and it was much better than any tea garden I had seen before.

Iilam is situated on the foothills of Mount Kanchanjunga, the third highest peak in the world. Illam is adorned with an almost limitless range of lush-green tea gardens. The rolling hills covered with tea leaves are simply majestic. The thick white fogs alternatively descend to veil the gardens and then suddenly vanish. Greenery prevails all over the hills of Illam all around the year.

Illam (4)In 1861 Col Gajraj Singh Thapa, the governor of Illam district and a close relative of Prime Minister Jung Bahadur Rana, initiated the planting of tea in Illam with seeds that had been given as a gift by the Chinese Emperor.

Illam also offers an excellent getaway from city life for romantic sunrise and sunset, a brisk walk in the tea garden, tranquil picnic and sightseeing spots, short treks along gentle slopes or a trudge into the nearby woods. If spiritual instinct calls there are several holy sites one can visit in and around the area.

Illam (3) Illam (5)

I also got to ride a horse and a rickshaw (a 2-wheeled passenger cart) and enjoyed more time with my parents.

Illam (1)One evening we were back at the hotel after our tour when my dad’s phone rang. Everything seemed so perfect and suddenly I was brought back to reality. One of my aunts called my dad to talk about a possible husband for me. I heard them talking on the phone but I didn’t want to say anything. I messaged AS “Please call me as I need to talk to you about something important.”

He called me straight away. I went outside to answer making sure my parents couldn’t hear my conversation.

AS: Hello my love, how are you?

Me: I think I am not OK.

AS: What’s wrong?

Me: I am OK. It’s just that I think I need to tell my parents about us. They are still looking for a husband for me. I know it is still too early but I can’t meet anyone when I get back to Kathmandu.

AS: I know

Me: What to do?

AS: Why don’t you tell your parents and I will tell mine too.

Me: You sure about this?

AS: Of course. Why are you worried? I know this is what I want. I hope you think the same.

Me: I do too but I don’t want to rush into any decision.

AS: I know.

Me: Also promise me one thing. I know my parents will be OK with us but I am not sure about yours so if they say anything at all, you tell me right away.

AS: I know they will be fine, don’t worry.

Me: I am saying this just in case. I definitely don’t want to continue if anyone objects to our being together. (I couldn’t believe I was saying these words but I wanted to make sure both our families are happy if we are going ahead with our relationship.)

AS: Why are you talking like that, don’t worry everything will be fine.

Me: I really hope so. I am so scared and worried. You know that I love you so much but still I don’t want to make either family unhappy. I hope you understand what I mean.

AS: I am sure we will be fine. We are from the same cast so my grandparents will be OK too. You are an educated, good-looking, nice girl so I don’t see a reason for any objections.

I really wanted to believe in AS’s words but at the same time, I was worried. It seemed like everything was happening so quickly. I hadn’t even met him yet and here we were talking about telling our parents about our relationship which was just a week old.

We talked some more and he did his best to assure me that things will be fine and not to worry. He said he would talk to his parents and tell them about us so they would stop looking for a girl for him.

By the time I hung up, I felt a bit better and more hopeful.

Some of you might be thinking why it is so important to me that both of our family agree to our relationship. I have always believed in marriage and I always knew that marriage especially in Nepal, is not just between two individuals but it is between two families. Even though I spent so much time overseas, I knew that it is important for me to make sure my parents are happy with my decision. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are open-minded modern people who were OK to send their teenage daughter by herself to Australia. However, at the same time when it comes to marriage, I was a bit worried. I knew it would be OK but still I had 0.01% doubt.

On the other hand, I didn’t know anything about AS’s family. I had met one of his brothers and his mum but didn’t really know them. I was more worried about the reaction from his family more than from mine when they learnt about us.

To be honest, I didn’t have any plan about what I would do if any of our family had a problem with our decision but I didn’t want to think about it at that moment. All I wanted to believe was that everything would be fine. I had a zillion things in my mind when I went to bed that night.

The next morning I woke up earlier than usual. The first thing I did was talk to AS to see how things were going. He told me that he was going to talk to her parents that day. So I decided to talk to my parents the same day too.

We were having breakfast at the hotel that morning. My dad and mum seemed to be in a good mood so I decided that is the moment.

Me: I need to talk to you about something.

Dad: Sure. What’s wrong?

Me: Nothing really wrong. It is about the marriage.

Mum: Don’t tell us now you have changed your mind about it again. We have had this conversation before. (I have told you in my previous posts, there was a time when I was planning not to marry at all, so I could understand why mum was worried.)

Me: No, no. I am going to get married whenever you guys want but it is just there is someone.

Mum: Who?

Me; There is this friend from school, AS who likes me. I like him too. So I want you to stop looking for a guy for me.

Mum: Does that mean you will marry him?

Me; I don’t know yet. I haven’t met him for more than 6 months. He will be coming to Kathmandu in a few days.

Dad: What does he do?

Me: He studied with me in school. He is an Engineer and currently living in LA.

Dad: Where is from? What is his parents’ name?

Me; I think he is from Kathmandu and I think his family is from there too but I am not too sure. I don’t know his family and their name. All I know is he has 2 brothers.

Mum: Do I know him?

Me: May be. He has come to our place many times when we were in school.

I didn’t have his picture with me but when I described him, she seemed to recall something.

Mum: Is he the one you are talking to on the phone every day?

Me: Yes.

Dad: Look, all we want is you to be happy. I know you have made you own decisions for a while now so if you are OK with him, we are fine. Get him to meet us when he comes to Kathmandu.

I was relieved when I heard his words. I just wished the same thing was happening on AS’s side.

I promised my parents that they would like him and he is a great person. In addition, I would ask his parents’ name and his family history when I talked to AS next.

We talked some more about AS and I tried my best to portray him as a most desirable son-in-law they could ever get. I messaged AS to call me when he could. I got a message saying he was talking to his parents and will call back soon.

My heart was pounding. It seemed 50% was OK now but still there is the most important 50% that I needed to know about. That day we were going back to Kathmandu and we had a flight in the afternoon.

After packing and having lunch, I started becoming impatient and sent another message to AS. He sent me a message saying he was still on phone. It made me really scared wondering why it was taking him so long. My conversation had not been that long. My mind started to think of everything that could go wrong. I tried to control myself but it was very difficult.

Then the car came to pick us up to go to the airport and still there was no call from AS.

Finally AS called after we checked it.

AS: Hello dear!

Me: Hello. What happen? (You can see I don’t waste any time getting to the point?)

AS: Nothing happened. Did you talk to your parents?

Me: Yes. What about you? How did it go?

AS: I don’t k now.

Me: What do you mean you don’t know? Don’t leave me hanging. Seriously, what happened?

AS: They told me they have to think about it.

Me: About what?

AS: About us.

Me: What does it mean? I am going to cry now.

AS: Ohoo, don’t. Why are you so worried? They said OK. They want to see your photo and you as soon as possible. I told them, once I come to Kathmandu, you can come and visit them.

Me: And?

AS: And everything is good. You worry too much. You know that I love you and you don’t have to worry at all. Now tell me what your parents said. I have a feeling it went all well too.

Me; No, it didn’t.

AS: Why?

Me: They said they have to see you and check you out properly before they decide.

AS: Hahahaha that means it went alright. Look, it was not bad at all. Everything is fine now. You just worry for nothing.

Me: I hope it will be all fine. BTW, I need your parents name and your family background.

AS: Almost forgot. My parents asked the same question.

We continued the conversation for another 20 minutes until it was time for me to board the plane to come back to Kathmandu.

It was one amazing holiday.

More in next post. Take care everyone!

XOXO

M form nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 11

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

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